[linda89]

Thank you so much, Velvet!
My ex is 24, and he started playing when he moved out of his parents house. He struggled with money, ended up dropping out of school… His life was kind of a mess! I think I was the only positive “thing” he had in his life, at that time! I think he needed me. That changed when his family came back into his life again. I think he had a empty space in his heart (missing his family) and he tried to fill up that space by having me in his life… I don’t know if that makes sense, or if it’s even true… but all I know is things changed when they came back. I need to forgive myself first, in order to move on! Forgive and understand that I did my best, I’m not perfect, but he wasn’t either. I hope that one day he will understand that I only wanted the best for him, I may have set some goals and standards in my life that he knew he could’t reach… I don’t want him to think of me as a controlfreak, I just want him to know I really loved, cared and wanted the best for our future! I hope he knows!

[linda89]

oh gosh, I just lost everything I wrote…. so here we go again.

I really don’t know what to think anymore. I just can’t stop blaming myself for not being “proud” of him, not trying to understand the game. I told him don’t tell me about your profits, I can’t make you not play, at least don’t tell me about it because it makes me mad. Is that horrible of me? It’s like sticking my head in the sand and iggnoring it right?
when he first told me about poker, I was on the edge, I was so scared and wanted to run for my life, but I didn’t. I loved him, and he promised me that once we lived together he wouldn’t play anymore… that he was going to have an education and live a normal life. So for two years I waited for him, waited for him to start college. He had no one else. He had no family, they didn’t contact him… he had only me, how could I turn my back on him. I felt that I was everything to him, and actually he kept saying it all the time. His family came back into his life (I kind of made that happen aswell), and they didn’t try to push him away from the game. His brothers actually looked up to him, he earnd money, alot more then them at least (they are educated). So I was fighting this battle alone, and for what? Is it normal for a person to go to bed 9-12 am? And taking sleeping pills too, because he wasn’t sleeping well? is that a good sign?
He left me treating me like I was the fault in the breakup, I was the one that should be happy right, I should just accpet. Even his family turned their backs on me…. I’m just hurt…. So much pain!
He has not tried to contact me once, and I feel I manage to look down on myself, give myself low self-esteem…. power of the brain huh?

Thank you so much for your respons:)

[linda89]

Oh, sorry! New here!!

[linda89]

It’s a bit strange beeing here, because my issue is a bit different i feel. I’m new here, so I need some help getting over my EX boyfriend. The thing is that we broke up 4 months ago, but I’m not over him. He is a poker player, and he told me about this after 7months we became a couple (LDR). This was really hard for me, I felt my world just fell apart… but I didn’t leave him, because he promised he would stop! He never stopped…. after 2 years his playing became more agressive, and he kept saying “why aren’t you proud of me?”, “You don’t know how good I I’m” “poker is a sport, and I will never lose money”. Eventhough he really did profit alot from this game I was always afraid, and the worst part… I couldn’t tell people what he really did for a living, becuse I could see the judgment in their eyes… they were also afraid for my future, and who could blame them right?

The thing is that when we started talking (keep in mind the LD) he had no one. He didn’t have any contact with his family, and eventhough he didn’t say it I could see the pain in his eyes. He told me all the time that I was his world, and just the thought of losing me killed him…. fast forward I adviced him (kinda pushed) to try reaching out to his family, and so he did! I could hear in his voice that he felt much better, but they were still not close, I was his family! He needed me more then I needed him, untill they became a bigger part of his life. Things were still fine between us, we spent our summer vactation together and talked about future plans! I thought things were getting better. He started college again, and heavens I was proud! After A while we had our small fights (like every couple) and I didn’t think much about it… but then one day things changed all around! I had just booked my ticket (his request) to visit him, and bought him presents for his b-day, when he all of the suddon broke up with me, told me he was going to play poker full time, that I would never accept it, and left for vacation with his friends. I was heart broken, I couldn’t live with the fact that he did that to me… I waited one month and booked another ticked without him knowing… so we ended getting back together for 3 weeks, but after one fight he broke up with me again, saying I was a dramaqueen! Since then I haven’t talked to him! It’s just so hard to cope with the fact that he chose poker over me, that makes me feel really horrible, and sometimes I blame myself for not being more understanding and try to understand the game! In my mind I was trying to do what was best for him, but I only pushed him away…. it hurts!

I would love a respond! Best regards:)

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