[Lily Nix]

Thanks Velvet for the welcome and your thoughts on counselling. You are right it is an accomplishment that I want to post here tomorrow after I have gone. I appreciate the encouragement to go!

I have always talked myself out of any help, thinking I have this cased, I can do it on my own, well look how far that has got me….I have only had 3 months of no gambling in seven years and this time I want it to stop for good.

I had no urges today and I am thankful for that but I know that that demon is luring just waiting for a weak moment.

So I will go tomorrow and see if counselling is for me, I am really ashamed to admit to a stranger where I have been and all the time and money wasted, but she should understand.

I am feeling better already just coming and reading other peoples journeys as I know there is hope!

[Lily Nix]

Hi Jay Kay, I have to say I AM very inspired with your story, thanks for sharing your Journey it gives me hope….I am on Day 8 and that is something, I have surrendered to the fact I can not gamble responsibly and have no control, I am not in denial anymore.

You should be very proud of yourself!

[Lily Nix]

So over a week no gambling and already my mind is saying okay you don’t need counselling, I have an appt for Tuesday and I must force myself to go and at least try it out. Others have said counselling has helped them, I guess I am worried that it might set me off into another depressive state and I will gamble….I have always been the type to deny my feeling and just go along as if everything is okay, but I know everything is not okay, this last gambling cycle has scared me, I was like a crazy person trying to win beck my losses and that is not normal, I must go to counselling, I deserve to feel better and stop this obsession for good!

[Lily Nix]

Hi Raymond, I can totally relate to your post…. I have been struggling for years and have had maybe 3 months at the longest without gambling and I never put any barriers in place or talked to anyone, talk about pain and suffering! 

The last time I placed a bet which was 8 days ago, I lost 2000…it was craziness and I was like a demon wanting to get my money back, but when I got home I was ready to burst, I told my husband and the was some instant relief. 

I caught in your post that you can not confide in anyone and if you find relief posting on here that’s great but sometimes talking face to face with someone is powerful, I guess it was for me. I have now surrendered to the fact that my money is gone, never to be won back.

You went 18 months and that is an inspiration to me, it must take a lot  strength and courage, and you give me hope that it can be done! 

[Lily Nix]

I have tried numerous times in the past to stop gambling, but this time I believe I have got it through my thick stubborn skull that I WILL not get any of my money lost back, never, it’s gone….time to rebuild the honest and truthfully way, with good hard work and perseveranc, it can be done. 

I have surrendered to the fact it’s over, the game for me is over, and I wont lie that it is kind of depressing and sad, but there is no other way, if I keep going the I have been, I will lose everything!

It is great reading all the awesome posts, very encouraging.

[Lily Nix]

U prošlosti sam mnogo puta pokušao prestati s kockanjem, ali ovaj put vjerujem da sam kroz svoju debelu tvrdoglavu lubanju prošao kroz to da mi novac neće biti vraćen, nikad, već je nestalo … vrijeme je za obnovu pošten i istinit način, uz dobar rad i upornost, to se može učiniti.

Predao sam se činjenici da je gotovo, igra za mene je gotova i neću lagati da je to nekako depresivno i tužno, ali ne postoji drugi način, ako nastavim kako jesam, izgubit ću sve!

Sjajno je čitati sve sjajne postove, vrlo ohrabrujuće.

[Lily Nix]

Eu tentei várias vezes no passado parar de jogar, mas desta vez eu acredito que entendi através da minha cabeça dura e teimosa que eu não vou perder meu dinheiro de volta, nunca, acabou …. hora de reconstruir o De forma honesta e verdadeira, com bom trabalho duro e perseverança, isso pode ser feito.

Já me rendi ao fato de que acabou, o jogo para mim acabou, e não vou mentir que é meio deprimente e triste, mas não tem outro jeito, se eu continuar o que estou, vou perder tudo!

É ótimo ler todos os posts incríveis, muito encorajadores.

[Lily Nix]

В прошлом я много раз пытался прекратить играть в азартные игры, но на этот раз я понял, что понял, что я не верну ни одной из потерянных денег, никогда, прошло …. время восстановить игру честно и правдиво, с упорным трудом и упорством, это может быть сделано.

Я смирился с тем, что все кончено, игра для меня окончена, и я не буду лгать, что это как-то удручает и грустно, но другого пути нет, если я буду продолжать идти так, как был, я все потеряю!

Приятно читать все классные посты, очень воодушевляющие.

[Lily Nix]

Thanks for the encouragement and I know you are both right about the self exclusion, I have a counselling appt next week that I am going to follow through on, in the past I have set up so many appts and then never gone! And I have planned self exculsion before too and never gone, prob because of embarrassment, but you are right 10 mins of embarrassment is not a bad price to pay for my freedom….and yes my husband would come for sure. Now it’s just to do it.

I had a pretty good week, a couple of urges, mine always start with “just go throw in 20, you can control it, it will be different this time“ what I lie I tell myself, this week when I got those thoughts a couple times, I stopped what I was doing and thought the whole thing through from finish to end and when I did this, I cam out a loser, so I didt go, I basically talked myself out of it….but if I was banned from the casino I know it would be easier. It is the weekend now so I am pretty save, got lots to do besides gambling.

Just another thing to note, I feel I have physically symptoms from gambling, everytime I quit, I notice my eye and corner of my mouth twitching uncontrollably and this is probably from the sitting and zoning out at the cold lonely machine….it’s annoying and I am sure it will go away in time.

Hope everyone has a gamble free day!

[Lily Nix]

Day 5 today, I have surrendered, giving up the fight, getting out of the win/lose battle, stopping the chasing. The money I have lost is gone, and never will be won back, never!
I do not have control when I step foot in a casino, all reasoning is out the door and demon wins every time!

In my surrender, I will find my salvation

Love reading all the different threads/ posts on this site, we are different but the same in so many ways, it true makes me feel less alone.

Coming to site and posting often is part of my healing process…seven years is too long to live in the dark and cause myself massive pain, I deserve more, so do we all!!!

[Lily Nix]

you are right about self excluding, I should just do it! I am taking tomorrow off to get some thing sorted out so this could be one thing I do!

[Lily Nix]

I would like to hear more about each step

[Lily Nix]

Я хотел бы услышать больше о каждом шаге

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