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So–I KNOW what you are talking about…but here’s the thing…Try to play out exactly how you will feel if you gamble…You will feel badly, win or lose…Last time I went out, I won..I left a winner..and still felt Horrible after..I was *****, sneaking around, doing the wrong thing…and then the urges were even stronger after that..I just think there is no way to feel good after a gamble…This addiction is so awful..I hate it…
Tell your husband to quit giving you cash! it would take your option away in the future…
Sending good thoughts your way 🙂 (I’m struggling myself today, having come home from work with a free evening)I have been following your posts and admire you for having stayed gamble free through such adversity..I recently watched Brene Brown on a video TED talk online..an eye opening thing she said (for me)..That when we numb ourselves through *****, alcohol or anything (gambling), it does numb the bad feelings but also numbs the good feelings as well, so prevents us from feeling the joy and strength we all need for a better and wholehearted life..Who wants to numb the good parts of ourselves? never realized gambling does that too..
Hi there-saw your post on my thread..so popping in on yours.I hope you are feeling ok…you sound just like me…on and off the train..this is hard! But let’s at least be grateful for any easy hours (minutes?) we have!
That being said, I went back out yesterday…7 whole days..that’s all I did …but it seemed longer than that..I hate to post all my relapses…but I don’t want to *** either…I actually left a winner…but I still felt like s***t today and cried on and off all morning….because I knew I had done wrong…it just didn’t feel good..and other areas of my life are not going well..and gambling, win or lose only makes it worse! So here I start again…
Watching Downtown Abbey …great way to stay out of the casino! I was watching it straight through but took a break from it…so now I’m going to pick it back up!Oh Sherry===trips to the ATM…I have made a million! I don’t even have a credit card now – just a debit card…anything to limit access to cash helps..It is the same as people ******** to feed a **** addiction…and it feels exactly like a **** addiction (tho thankfully I don’t have that)..That woman in the article..her life will never be the same – consequences of her actions…another thing to think about before placing that first bet…and another reason to self-exclude..It really does help..
Day 6 today
Have a nice day Sherry and everybodyYes–it is something in our brains that has caused this.."The circuits that fire together, wire together"..I have done some reading on this and the evidence suggests that the more you do something, a "habit", the circuits in your brain actually get hardwired to keep repeating it..HOWEVER, it can be reversed…but it requires doing other things over a long period of time to wire them another way..It takes effort and will and time (I think I read about 8 months)…and it’s not easy…but if we want a better and different life, this is what must be done..All the things suggested on here – GA, support, talk, barriers..and finding other things to do-they all work to move it along..It takes real work…I keep trying and unfortunately have relapsed many *****..Today is day 4 for me…trying again..I already feel better than I did , but thoughts keep creeping in…but today I will not gamble..
Try not to dwell on the past full time..Do one little thing to make a change..I hope you feel better..Try to hang in there honey…You’re doing the right thing
I am sorry about your brother…I hear you..I work in an assisted living facility with many Alzheimer residents..It is heartbreaking…but try to just be compassionate and not angry…My mother committed suicide when I was 15..For my whole life I was so angry at her…more recently I have turned around (not 100% but getting there)…to see just how unhappy she was and she just couldn’t live on this planet anymore…Hopefully your brother is comfortable where he is..Kudos to you for not gambling through this…
I also thank you for writing this..I, like some others on here, have lived that EXACT scenario over and over again.It’s the addiction that has changed our brains…causing this need to KEEP on playing NO MATTER WHAT..I have driven home sick and dizzy after a day/night like that and it has lasted for days..It’s withdrawal in the most raw sense…You will get over it but is complete **** going through it..I pray for you and all on here including myself that we will stay the course to keep on going…because this sick feeling you have will only happen again and again if you go back to the casino..I say this to you and to myself
Ever hear of a guy named Adam Resnick? Wrote a book called Bust…incredible read….Was a huge CG, played Blackjack in big numbers..Was about to be brought down by writing huge bad checks at a Bank that he brought down…so he went back out one more time to the casino to try to get the money back..Started with 1 million dollars and that night had it up to 9 million dollars …was out of the hole with a life changing amount of money…and proceeded to give it ALL back plus another million…Went to prison for 4 years…True story..
I am sorry you feel so bad…Can you put barriers up, self-exclude to insure you won’t go back? You will feel better if you do…Deb