[lavende94]

Day 25 .
The day pass by free gamble .
Spending some time with my son a day at a time the urge is fading away but I need to be permanent gone .

[lavende94]

Story of my life @sian82 n it’s sad ?

[lavende94]

Hi again
Thanx risi

long time not visit forum
I lost count of days for gamble free . I voluntarily to rehab n came out . Since my last bet 27 September I haven’t place a bet.
This journey is hard suddenly on social media they have been introduced new slot n seems people are winning and it’s tempting but

I don’t want to go back to the gambling world , big regret it’s real , I have coke so far for me to relapse . Just have to stay strong and ignore them

[lavende94]

Hi ?
Thank you Don ? your encouragement word
Am day#27 gamble free. Rehab its the best thing that going so well. And helping me with ways coping strategies outside am ready to face the world and be better sobriety for good. This nearly destroy my life.

DON . am telling you go , u will thank me later 2 weeks will be enough please . I nearly took my life . Now am awake from the demonic if possible during ur session ask to have meeting with family and psychology.

I dont think I will gamble ever again it took my happiness away. I want that back . We can’t serve two Master at once God and mamon .

Have blessed Sunday ?and 1 day at a time and am focusing on my recovery and I accept my mental illness and seek help thank God it happen wen I still have chances. Blessed u all

[lavende94]

Day #16 gambling free .
And day #2 in rehabilitation institution.
All is well day to day routine trying to fit in . Attending sessions with different facilitator I can see the light ahead I have mixed feelings .

An thanks @charles.
My payday I’ll be at hospital so ders nothing I’ll do n when discharged planing to go home being with family before returning to work

[lavende94]

Day#12 gamble free

But the thought is killing me is side. Today I didn’t have urge to gamble , but dis coming Friday is my payday and I have lot that am owing and my salary cannot cover.

Am struggling to come up with plan . I keep thinking wat if on the same day friday I place a bet , what if I win and I settle some.

This is my reality am facing, and I hope and pray not to bet. LUCKLY I request my husband to monitor the account and currently I don’t have any online betting account but its hard

Hopefully I will pass this Friday without gamble. And pray Monday to get a bed in rehab that am waiting for.

[lavende94]

@Dark energy I knw how your feeling the reason we relapse is we keep thinking about the loose and we hope dis time around we will win a huge and quite that my reason I relapse.

But today am #Day 10 gamble free and not thinking to go back to #Day 1 . This journey is not easy but we must try not to overthink. your not alone in this.

I had money this morning but all I was thinking was try 1 bet . I try avoid the thought, I used the cash for something else.

You can also do this hang in there . One day at a time

[lavende94]

Day#09 gamble free
Thanks you Don14

Guys it’s hard, I had only transport momey to work and thing were better but has this huge urge to gamble but because of I can’t miss the work.

Then today I got the money I waited for. I want to use it wisely for my son , but subconscious says buy voucher and bet u will win some and stop n pay few. Am literally crying bcz the temptation is strong.

But am trying my best. I make sure the money deposited to the account where my husband monitor it. I pray to God everyday to give me strength to overcome this urge and temptation because it’s hard on my own

Am scared everyday I don’t want to start back to day zero. And the urges n temptation. Then mind is powerful

But help me God with you everything is possible.

[lavende94]

Day#3 not place a bet
Life is hard ? everyday I wake up with a hope to win but I don’t want to go back.i pawn my phone so that I can repay the money I borrowed from people. I feel hopeless ?, useless mom .no life purpose in this world ? and it breaks my heart. Am not coping at work at all , my world is crumbling

[lavende94]

@Don14765 it fees like ur telling my story

#Day 2 gambling free .
I wake up because of alarm and prepare to go to work . And spend the day Oright

I borrow R1200 from friend and she promised to give on Wednesday.
So I recieved a text from her saying should she send the money or did I get it?
My respond to her was I got it , lying because I was afraid I was going to gamble it.

I had the urges to gamble but I told myself focus DNT be attempted.

I called rehab today to book for an admission for 21days the said they gonna call Monday to let me know if there is available bed for admission

One day at a time ……..
Visiting forum should be my daily basis routine

[lavende94]

Thank you @charles for a huge advice.

I last place my bet last night 26/09/2022 . And I hope it will be the last for good.
27/09/2022 it will be the first day (day 1) of not gambling , and I hope to go this route

[lavende94]

I even think of ending myself the credit I did to people I feel like I can’t stop chasing looses atlist if I win and pay den iĺ be able to quite. I can’t talk to my mom feel embarrassed thought of rehab but scared way pplz going to say about me

[lavende94]

Thank you for advices. I borrowed money so blockers I keep thinking how am I going to pay them and it keep pushing me back to gamble am still am loosing away its really bad . Sometimes I even think of taking my own life . Within a month I borrowed different pplz about 10k , lying to them in order to get cash . It’s so hard I thought of rehab but am ashamed wat pplz going to say about me sometime I need relocation trying but with no luck . My sleep is gone I can’t eat I can’t do anything . Am in a serious debt I hate myself I no longer spending time with my some .my husband doesn’t no that I relapse it will crush him . All I need is paying people debt be4 him finding out the install gamban

[lavende94]

Some days when I gamble Instead of withdraw I chase the lost of previous but end up losing all. How to train the mind not to go back because I keep thinking this time will win . It make u win at first den end up losing

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