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Hi Lizbeth
Hope you had a good day today. What’s happening with your garden?

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Your don’t quit attittude is inspiring. I believe living without gambling is possible. I am so glad you are going for counseling. I am so proud of the fact that you are getting the help. It says a lot about you that you did it on your own.
Way to get serious about this.
Bettie posted on my thread right after I gambled in Jan. She said we are in the fight of our lives. She was right. What does a person do when theyy are fighting for their lives? They get help! They gather their weapons to fight.

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Feeling the effects of passing in the night. My hb is on day three of his new joB. I have spent the last three nights having a hardd time falling asleep. He face timed me tonight and I almost cried. Our dog is whining and barking at nothing. She has done this before when he wasn’t at home in the evenings. I sent him a video of the dog (she’s a chocolate lab) and he said it made him feel bad watching her carry on so. I have to find a hobby! Last night and tonight I have been completely alone after work until after 9. The kids have been off doing school stuff or working in my daughter’s case. It is just plain weird having all this home alone time. I suppose I will get used to it.
No gambling, no real urges. Just a little lonely and sick of the barking dog. She is going to have to get used to it too! She misses him.
I think this is probably good for me on some level. Maybe it’s time I relearn independence at home.

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Hi Charlster
I never noticed before I banned from the casino how many story lines on sitcoms revolve around gambling. I never noticed how focused as a society we are on winning stuff. Hard work is a forgotten ideal on tv.

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That is wonderful. Keep posting!

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That is a very positive post. You put a barrier between yourself and the addiction. Way to go Seri!!

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I am sorry to read that your Mother treated you so rudely. Why do you think that we automatically want to gamble when things get stressful? I do the same thing and yet we both know there is no solace in that direction.
Hang in there, if your Mother is like I think she isl tomorrow she will act like nothing happened. That is how my Mom is. She is unhappy inside herself so she acts rudely and negative and then the next call I get it is as if nothing happened and we arre just the same as always. I dont think therapy is something she will go for and short of God moving her out of this negativity, I dont see her changing. I have to just let it go. She almost cant help herself at this point. She certainly is not going to open up just because I ask her too. In fact, if I were ro try to talk about real emotions, it would start a whole new fight.
i love her, but she hurts me.

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Great quote! How did the party turn out? Why is it so hard for “our friends” to be supportive when we want to change?
Makes me think of things my Mom would say, “misery loves company”, “you can tell the character of a man by the company he keeps”. I know these are quotes from someone else, but she drilled these into my head when zi was a teenager. Oh and one last one, “when you lay down with dogs, you get fleas”.
Well done on driving past the casinos. Those places are all glitz and glam on the outside to hide the grim reality of their scheme.

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I hope you are doing well. I read your post the other day and it really touched my heart. I stopped what I was doing and called my Mother. I noticed you haven’t posted in afew days and thought I would let you know you’re missed.

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Money worries area trigger for me too. I hope you keep posting and reach out for all the help you can get. This is a vicious addiction and willpower alone has not ever been enough to stop me. I have read and re-read the 12 steps for GA and although I haven’t been to a group, I am trying to put them in place iin my life. Daily prayer has helped me so much. Being honest is the other tool that has kept me from giving in when I start to cycle around again. I wAs a HOT mess just a few months ago. I believe there is hope to live a life without the self destruction gambling addiction brings. We can thrive in new ways. It takes me resetting my brain each day and sometimes more than once with my higherr power. God is able when I am not.

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I am glad you are doing better. I know how fast we can get sucked back into this crazy addiction. The cycle is exhausting. Good for you for going to talk to someone. Reaching out to someone and being face to face to look into our pysche can be very good in keeping us fromrepeating the same mistakes over and over again.
you inspire me and I wish you all the good things in this life:)

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My husband got a promotion at work. He will be making more money and be on the track to move into management. He has worked so hard and I am very happy that he was recognized. The biggest change for our family is he will now be working evenings. I will most likely be asleep when he gets home. He will most likely be asleep when I leave for work. He will still be off on weekends, but this is a big change for us. He has been prodding me out of the house for years. He cooks about 3 or 4 times during the work week. He brings me coffee in the mornings and usually makes it ready to brew before going to bed. He locks up the house and drives our son and picks him up if he is out. I am going to have to be responsible for all this again. The first 10 years of our marriage, I did most of everything, but the last 13 years he has done at least half if not more than half of all the housework and cooking.
I sound like a whiner, I know. I know I sound like a lazy person and I am freaking out a little on having to take up the slack. He says he will do stuff before he leaves for work and I know he will. I guess above all I am going to miss him. I will barely get to speak to him in person for five days a week.
Time to let him shine. He worked to keep our family provided for so I could go to school. I want him to feel successful at work. I am having a hard time trying to remember when I wasn’t so spoiled by him. I have to remember how I used to do it all! He used to work 6 days a week and crazy hours, but that was so long ago.
I wanted to go to the casino yesterday, but he was strong and told me he would go shopping with me instead. I spent about$150 on new clothes and we went to dinner. I have no urges today. I am glad I didn’t go. I have new shoes, new slacks, new shorts, and bathroom towels. A new shower curtain and these are things I can hold in my hand. Things that were falling apart from neglect. I want to keep away from self destruction.

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Your posts are very inspiring. I am rooting for you. Having written all this down will be a great thing for you to read again when you have a weak moment. Reading my older posts reminds me of where I never want to be again.
Keep up the good thoughts. Stay strong and days eill get brighter.

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I had some strong urges yesterday. I had a full free day to devote to gambling. I had money availble and free time.
I talked to my husband, I re-read all my thread, then I posted a pledge not to gamble in March.
I am going to buy a new vacuum today with my money and spend the time shopping for it. You have to want to quit this addiction. I read the cycle of addiction and saw myself plainly in the midst of it. The thoughts come back around and wee have to plan ahead for them.
8days is terrific! You are doing great. I know having no money to buy the simple things is hard, but day by day the path you are on, will allow you to pay your way through life. Just get to the end of today. Tomorrow is too far away to think about.

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Thank you for all the posts of encouragement. I was planning the 6hr round trip to get my gambling fix and with all the Madness posts amd after talking to my husbnd the plan has been put to rest. I will post some updates later. Lots of change here.

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