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My husband finally got the parts we needed for our pontoon boat and he spent several mornings working on it. He finished about noon today so we put the boat in the water. We have over a hundred lakes in our —— and there is what is called “The chain of lakes” that many people spend their weekends boating. We went through the chain today it was about 6 lakes and stopped at a restaraunt that has docks for the boaters for early supper. The food was ok, but the restaraunt itself was beautiful. The day was a little windy, but gorgeous blue skies and puffy clouds made it a fine boating day. We have not used our boat since July 4th of last year. If I had a spare afternoon, I wanted to go to the casino. Gambling ruled my free time! Then it became impossible to boat because we had no money for the gasoline or snacks, then winter came and finally it sat so long that it required new spark plugs and parts totalling over $200. So now that we haven’t been gambling our boat is finally in action again and today was very nice. It was just my husband, our son (who is now 17) and I. Our daughter had to work and I am afraid she was quite put out that we went without her.
Tomorrow evening is baccalaureate for my twin nephews and my niece. My son is singing in the chorus as he is a junior and not yet graduating. Another positive of not gambling is I will be able to give them each some graduation money! I bought identical cards for the boys, they are identical
twins and I think they will laugh bcause the card reads, “Nephew, you are one of a kind!” My sister thought it was hysterical too!
I hope everyone is having a gamble free day and learning to enjoy sometning that helps bring good things into our lives instead of chaos. I am sad to say that while my husband was working on the boat this morning that I was having urges to go down south to the far away casino. I instead pulled out my tablet read my entire thread, looking at the pain I have caused my family and myself. I then paid several bills that are not quite due. Then the morning was gone and we boated instead. I am excited that we can do this again. Now I have to renew our fishing licenses so next time maybe we can catch our supper too!

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I think you should be proud of yourself! Getting through stressful times without gambling is a great sign that you are heading towards a new way of coping. It’s nice to see positive change in your life. 🙂

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BYPASS is big surgery. I will keep praying for the very best outcome. I will give you just a little more advice….make sure you rest. She has hospital staff to help, you need to be sure to take full register of how fatigued you are. Don’t let yourself get rundown because the recovert period may last a while. You will need your strength. Try to eat well too. She will need you, no doubt after this surgery, she will need the help. You have your own history of health problems so make certain you are looking after you. Love to you!

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Sending warm thoughts and hugs to you. Sending up prayers that joy will find you and bring a smile to your face. Depression is painful and I am so sorry that you are feeling low.

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Amen
What a beautiful prayer. If we truly set our eyes on The Master, how different our choices would be. Deny yourself and follow me. Wow! Thank you Kin:)
I will agree with you in prayer.

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I paid off a small credit card today!! Now there are two hefty size and two humungous ones left.Our little house in need of repairs….the hotwater heater leaks, the garage door opener is broken. My kitchen is a laugh with a white refrigerator, a cream colored stove, and a stainless colored dishwasher. The counters are “vintage” mint green formica. It is a blessing to have a home. I almost lost this place because of gambling. We are inching our way out of the mess we made. It has been 6 months since I banned myself and I have gambled several times all with horrid results. But it has been a month and this feels pretty good right now. Cutting off easy access was the main thing. I haven’t truly solved the deep parts of why I am an addict, but the day to day dread, sleepless nights, crying, counting money, continuous overdrafts and fees, shame, and desperation has left me. I am not currently plotting and planning or trying to figure a way to get my fix. That’s improvement.

My son just finished with the spring musical. They performed Seusical the Musical. He was Horton the elephant. That was a lead role. He was a star. He was so sick with a head cold, but it fit well with character and he was still able to sing. His voice was a little deeper and to the ones who know him, he was a little stuffed up, but still sounded awesome. He made me a proud Momma, he is very talented.
I couldn’t help but notice the difference after opening night as compared to the fall concert. (We knew about the after party for one thing). Last fall, I couldn’t come up with $14.
For him to go with his friends and I was so ashamed. This time, I paid his way, carried three of his friends and my daughter to the restaraunt and paid for most of them and myself:) This made me feel so good. Thanks to not gambling, I was able to redeem myself a little.

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Praying for your Mom and for you. Please make sure they set her up with home care when she discharges. They can make sure she has the medications set up correctly and if she has straight medicare meaning no HMO or advantage plan it will be covered under part A 100%. If she has an advantage plan, they can still come, but wont authorize as many visits usually. She can even get PT and OT and a bath aide through homecare so that you wont kill yourself in the short term. Thats what I do for a living, I am a Director for homecare and your Mom wont have to go to outpatient as quickly or maybe not at all. The co-pays for outpatient rehab can sometimes be costly depending on her insurance. Ask the discharge planner as early as possible to get it set up for her, so there isn’t a delay for authorizations.

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Hi Lizbeth
just wanted to check in with you. I haven’t posted much in the last month. I hope you had a Happy Mother’s Day. I am thinking of you.

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It is good to hear from you. I am so happy to read you are doing well. I am sure you can accomplish anything you put your efforts toward. 🙂

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Thanks for your post on my thread. I hope you had a Terrific Mother’s Day. It sounds like you have a wonderfully full house and I a sure it will be nice to have your son so close by even when they do move out. I am sorry to read of the loss of your friend. I hope your friend (his wife) is coping. I am impresseed that you are making amends for your losses with your husband. That is really holding yourself accountable.
I believe that positive thinking is like air to me. When I allow negative thoughts and mean spiritedness into my mind, I spiral so quickly to the bad actions. I missed you:)

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Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms/ Mums.
I have been gamble free not even scratch-offs! I can’t say that I haven’t had an urge or two or more, but the obstacles and barriers are so high that I haven’t tried to go over or around them.
Thank you for your posts, Happy and Ican, it has been awhile since I have posted. My husband hid my tablet from our son and I haven’t had the pull to ask him where it was hidden. (We don’t let him have free access to the internet at home or on his phone.) It seems to keep him out of trouble at least it slows the trouble down slightly.
My children got up early and bought me a dozen of my favorite chocolate assorted doughnuts (Dunkin Donuts) and a beautiful card and flower for Mother’s Day. I got to eat doughnuts in bed this morning. My husband bought me flowers and a beach chair! Yeah:)
We had a beautiful service at church and took his Mom to a steakhouse for lunch after. A very nice day. We watched a movie just now and earlier I took an hour nap.
I received an unexpected bonus a few weeks ago and I have managed to pay a large bill off. It was for dental work for my son. We had to have all his front teeth capped about two years ago. It was a debt that weighed on me. It was so large and completely neglected. It is quite amazing what can happen when I have the brain to be able to concentrate on other things besides gambling.
I still want to, but with my husband working evenings, the weekends have become so precious that a trip that takes 7 hours all around is just not something that appeals.
The last time I gambled was about a month ago and zi finally got him to take me to the boat. It is about an bour and a half drive to the coast. The boat was seedy and rocky. It reeked of desperation. I was so ashamed of making him go. We had a huge argument in the parking lot before we got on. He gets sea sick and there was a big storm cloud over the port. He threatened to take a cab home. This was after the long drive there. There was no way I was going home. It really freaked me out how bad the fight was. We had amoment when we asked if this scenario was worth our marriage. So, he got on the boat. We dropped about $900. It was horrible. We both were nauseous. We will never do that again.
Ever since that night, seeing a driver at 2am with no lights on, driving the long way home in pouring rain., the fight, the sea sickness….Gambling has just seemed very distasteful to me.
I still like the idea of the games, but I don’t want to go through all that to play them. I have managed to keep a little money aside to save for my son’s car. He will be going to the college instead of his senior year in high school. He is so far ahead that he will finish highschool credits at the college. This will save us a years worth of tuition! Downside is I have to get him some transportation and expose the world to another teenage driver. I am scared of that!
I love seeing the debt go down and the savings in the bank. I know I am not cured of this addiction, but I am clean right now. Praise God!

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I have been without my tablet for posting. I have gambled twice since I last posted so that means four occasions since last Oct. That is progress, not perfection.

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Thinking of you today. Sending up prayers for your continued strength and for joy to fill your life.

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Hi John
good or bad you once posted to me,
Let us know how you are. Miss your posts!

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It’s great to read your plans to spend time with your Mother. I think the biggest thing gambling took from me was my want to be with my family. It is true that we will never regret time spent with those we love. I can’t imagine anyone on their deathbd ever saying I wish I spent more of life gambling. And you know, that is what we need to focus on, how to live the rest of our lives without more regret.
Your day sounds like it came from Hell and yet there are positives. You weren’t hurt in the accident with the truck. The fridge didn’t fall on the lady customer either!!!

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