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Hi Adam,
I have been keeping up with your posts and it surprised me about your legs because of you biking. Vera is so right about the risks, you know from experience how painful and how long it can take to heal. My suggestion would be elevate them up abovebyour heart whenever you can and keep them moisturized with a good perfume free lotion after every shower and before you leave for the day (lotion twice a day). 17 days of standing is not going to help your risk, so if you don’t take precautions……I think you probably already know to watch the sodium, those chips you get for free may not be a great idea unless they are baked and unsalted, but who would want them? Please take care, I have a lot of patients that end up requiring intravenous antibiotics for cellulitis of the legs. It is serious business!
So happy to see your gamble free days adding up and your payback to yourself through savings is coming along nicely. I would hate to see it go to medical expenses.

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Thank you so much Happy and Vera, my instincts told me you both might respond to this post and I was so worried about sounding preachy.
I seem to get bogged down with the little things. There is a song by Francesca Battistelli called “This is the stuff”. It is available on youtube.com. I love this song. It cracks me up. It is a wonderful reminder of things that side track my thinking. My day can be hectic and my evenings feel very lonely. My son makes bad decisions. My daughter worries me for her lack of ability to care for herself financially. I have about 50 employees that rely on me to make good decisions. I have a stressful life. I still feel the pull of gambling. I have a little church that gives me a place to worship, but there is even stress there. Because we have gotten to know all the people well, we end up sharing their burdens too. Loving and caring in and of itself is stressful. Most of the congregation are elderly or poor or in bad health or all three. I sometimes want to find a church where I can just slip into the back pew, get my worship on and get out, somewhere where I am just a face in the crowd. It would be easier than what we have now, but somehow it probably would not be as rewarding.
That song is so fun and it really lifts me out of the stress and into a better frame of mind. Look it up:) I encourage everyone not to stress the stuff, because there are certainly times when the Big events will require our stamina. I don’t want to run out of energy for those because I let every little thing bog me down.
I hope everyone has a gamblefree day (as hard as it is to recover, it is harder for me, ten times over when I choose to gamble)
I just love Geordie’s posts, gambling is not gonna help!

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Thank you Lauren for the sweet post. I am touched that you read my journal.

I haven’t ever written about this before and it may cause some to shake their heads, but everything I am about to write is total truth so here goes…..
Back in October, when we banned from the casino we had been really trying to change our lives. We were listening to a lot of pastors and doing devotions as a family. I was listening to Tony Evans on the radio (he is an amazing champion of the family). One of his series was on stewardship. I listened to David Pratt as well. His series is called Radical.
I was strongly convicted about my gambling and the waste of our money and decided that I wanted to change. I wanted God to help me and so we went before the church and I even fasted for a day. I had never fasted before and read up on it first. Two weeks later we banned.
So all that lead to this, we started titheing. I am in charge of the finances and have been all our marriage. I usually gave about $100/ week to church, sometimes less, but usually around that amount. It seemed like a lot and a nice round number to keep my guilt at bay. We even gave if it meant being overdrawn because I had thrown our money away gambling and couldn’t stand not to help our little church.
In October, at the time we banned, I told my husband I wanted to get serious about titheing. He was all for it. I started giving 10% of our gross income every week. When I got the transfer in December, the raise in pay equalled the difference between $100/ week and the amount I had started to give. It was as if God gave me the money to tithe. I had the exact amount of money left over as if I was still giving $100. Since then, we have been faithful, even the bonus money, I gave 10% of the gross. The tax on a bonus is higher than a regular wage, so this was a big amount from the net I received. The thing is, I wasn’t expecting a bonus, I hadn’t got one all year for 2014. I cried when I got that money!!! It was a true miracle. Out of the clear blue and it was a lot of money! My husband got a $300 bonus a month before that. He has never gotten bonus of more than $50 in the seven years he has worked for his company. We tithed before we gambled on those three occasions that I have given in to my urges, since Oct. I have been receiving the most amazing financial blessings of my life since Oct. Of course we have been dead broke at times, you can read that in my posts, but we paid our tithes first. It was laid on my heart that God gives us our money. Everything I make is because of His generosity. It is all His money, so how can I justify not giving Him back the first fruits of my labor? I have paid off a huge amount of debt all while still being less than clean. I still have a lot to go, but I write that check out first every week. I am happy to do it. I am not preaching here or trying to convince anyone to do the same, but I was so convicted to do this, I felt I had no choice.
God is good to me and my family and I want to honor that.

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Hi Ricky,
I wish you would just say goodbye to your £200ish before it becomes £400ish. Someone has to lose for anyone to win. The thing about the addicted gambler is we keep on betting until we are the big loser. You sound like you want to be a responsible person, so do the right thing and get out of that betting ring. You can do it! You have goals that are not going to be met if you continue….trust me, that money is gone, don’t add to your misery!

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I wondered if she might end up with a little disorientation. My grandmother experienced this after a big surgery. She may do it again when you get home. Every transition can cause it, the move from ICU or the move to a rehab center or even back home. Be on guard when she gets home. She might try to cook or go outside without help. It is common. Someone might consider sleeping with her or near her if possible. It sounds like she is physically doing a lot better and she will get back to her normal, but you were worrying over her behaviour before this too. Wondering about some possible dementia, so every change she may slip back a little until she can keep a routine. We asked for a sitter at the hospital for my grandmother, but they said they didn’t have anyone. My Mom stayed 5 out of 7 nights and I stayed 2. It kicked our butts sleeping in those recliners. I don’t recommend it!

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I can relate to the work stress. I have a quarterly project that was due on Mon. Hoping to get it completed tomorrow and submitted (Thurs.) Late……..
On top of that a nearby branch is short staffed and they have asked me to cover there on Friday. Sure… why not? They’ve just added 3 hours of driving to my day. No problem (sarcasm)!
Then next week is a short week because of Memorial Day here. They want me to send one of managers to help that branch for two days next week and I have already approved for one mamager to have those same days off ( her son is graduating high school). No problem, I will have the short staffed branch, ha!
So like you have said, life is the same the world over. But there is a truth you and I can find here. GAMBLING DOESN’T HELP! I can’t even remember the last time I walked away even, let alone up. I can’t win anymore, because I can’t stop until all available money is gone.
I look forward to hearing about the new tools you add to your arsenal after this trip to GM.
What are you doing to secure your pay? If you don’t make plans in advance, I forsee you coming out of counseling worrying over that company card. Pay it! You will have to eventually anyway, you are too much the professional to not feel stress over it.
Praying for you and asking for clear thinking for you.
XOXO

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1-My purse was safe behind the reister all zipped up with everything accounted for.
2- I don’t work for that guy anymore!
3-The concert was really fun and my son looked right at me for the closing song, Thank you. I cried like baby.
and he wasn’t late:)

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I am soo excited for you! You are going to be just fine. This time away is going to help you. I am praising God that you have this opportunity to get real help. You are going to overcome, just like you wrote, the outcome is already written. Whoop whoop! I am pumped up for you.

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I am aggravated! I left my purse at a cafe today. My new boss paid for lunch and I got up, took my leftover box and walked right out. I didn’t realize it until it was time to leave work. I got a very petty email from my old boss. The woman who took my former position must have reported one of new staff to him. I have no idea why she didn’t just call me or email me herself. I was steaming.
To top off my day, my son texted me at 4o’clock telling me he has a spring chorus concert tonight at 7! I was trying to rush out of the office when I realized I had no purse (no keys, no way to lock the office) uggh
So I only wanted to get this down so I won’t explode.
He was happily napping when I got home. No clothes laid out, no care in the world.
I get to go to the school tonight without dinner and of course by myself, because Reub is working and my Mother was never told about it.
Ok, got to go……

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Thank you Velvet, Lizbeth and Ms. P
A short time ago, I was reading and I came across these two verses. It described my efforts so far in my life in relationship to money. It is especially true for a lot of gamblers.
Now therefore thus sayeth the Lord of hosts; consider your ways. Ye have sown much, and bring in little; ye eat, but have not enough; ye drink, but ye are not filled with drink; ye clothe you, but there is none warm; and he that earneth wages earneth wages to put into a bag with holes.
Haggai 1: 5-6
When I am not gambling, it is amazing how the holes seem to patch themselves!

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Welcome to this site. I spent a lot of time reading through the posts here and i believe you can find a lot of help in the stories of others. There is a good life to be had away from gambling. You can change your circumstances very quickly when you choose to live that life that is waiting for you away fromthe poker table. There are new experiences and new friends to be made as well. If you want to change your life, you are the only one that can do it. The debts won’t go away overnight, but you can bet that continuing to play is not going to make them better. I hope you are thinking of ways to say no to the next game. You can do it!

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Wonderful news!!!!

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You are not alone in disappointing yourself by not being able to provide financially for your son. It is so hard when the results of gambling affect those we love. I think some of my own biggest shame revolves around my children.
I believe we can change. I believe that when we seek to change there are obstacles that seem to come out of nowhere too. Early on there was a heavy feeling of despair and my finances seemed to actually get worse. It wasn’t true, the truth was the financial crisis would have been even more severe had I not stopped when I did. With a good income coming in you will see a difference so quickly. I have a good income, my husband works too. Six months without the continuous drain (I have gambled at least three times) has made a monumental difference.
You mention prayer and that God can help you. I believe He is essential to my own recovery. Please find a way to secure your next paycheck. With our pay safe from ourselves, things can get better so quickly. I want to read more from you and want to see you put this addiction under your feet.
Make a footstool of your enemy!

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Still praying. It is tough surgery and your Mom’s age is surely slowling her recovery. If she still has the chesttubes they can make it very uncomfortable to sit up, however they have an important role in helping the breathing. The meds are intended to keep the blood pressure very low and make some people very tired. The b/p has to stay low to keep pressure off the grafts. It is hard to see loved ones so swollen too. That is another thing that shocks family. Puffy face and swelling is scary. I will keep praying that she makes progress each day and that you and your family have the endurance you need to stay strong during this time. XOXO

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Hi Micky
I see your thread drops off close to where I took my breakbfrom posting. I hope you are doing well and are continuing with your counseling. Please update when you can. 🙂

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