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How is Ican doing?
Hoping you are well and good. What’s new?

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Yeah Adam!
I looked up Alton Towers, looks like a blast. Hope yoi enjoy every moment of your time off:)

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I am proud of you! My journal started at day 10 so everytime I open it I can read what that was like. It was a tough, tough time. Things do get better, and one of things most of us have in common is a lack of patience. I will absolutely promise you that each day will add up. Next week starts with the next minute. And minute by minute, day by day you will see your finances turn around. Difficult as it is to stop gambling, it is much harder to live with shame and regret. Hang on to your money on payday. Make a plan now!
Keep posting. I’m rooting for you!

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Welcome Steve,
I see you have already started to try to arrest this addiction again. You are the very proof that it can be done. Well done on all those years!
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

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Love this!

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Love this!

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Thank you for your post on my thread. You are correct in your analysis of my recovery journey. There is a spirtual battle going on. I believe that we are all in some sort of spiritual battle. When I had to admit that I had no control whatsoever over this addiction, I admitted that no amount of promises was going to keep me clean. I chose to self ban and it helped, but like all addictions, you have to cut off and evaluate the triggers. I am still getting to the root, if I am honest, I am probably more abstinent than recovering. I have some barriers, but have left the backdoor open.
What opened your backdoor after going 6months? How does that happen? I see it in my own life. I made it about 4months before a new avenue presented itself. I have to pull up the roots, but while I am digging, I have to make sure that I’m not watering the tree!

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Your posts made me look up CBT! Thanks so much. I will be working on some concrete things I can put in place.
You are taking charge:)

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Sometimes I think the hardest thing to do is love. Love requires a lot. Our children will worry us to no end because of the love we have for them. You can’t just stop the worry. Our love and history with these babies tries to tell us we could do something to help. So tough love might be the right help, but it doesn’t stop the worry. Tough love is probably the way to go, but what mother can do that and not cry their eyes out when they are alone?
Vera is right, keep seeking the support you need to keep yourself, your heart strong.
I think there are so many stories in the Bible about people coming to God or Jesus for help with their children because God knows when he made us mothers and fathers that we would need these examples to get through. There is no love like that, a father for his child, a mother for her child.
Do you think that is why He sent His son? So that we parents would recognize how much He loves us? I mean, I can’t think of anyone that I would sacrifice my child for. Can you?
Just rest in that awesome love. I pray for peace in your heart for your precious daughter. I can feel your worry and I pray for that peace that is unexplainable for you.

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Thank you all for your prayers for my new friend, Melissa.
I haven’t given a thought to gambling. I had a rough day today at work. I had to eliminate a position. The employee was graciuos which just made me feel even worse. I maneuvered things as I was able. I managed to get her a small severence. It is still painful to lose a teammate. Times are tough and I am thankful to have a job. I had to let the rest of the team know and explain it in a way that lessens their fear of losing their own positions. Tears and hugs flowed, all while I was the orchestrator of her leaving. (Not really, this was a corporate decision) I had to do their dirty work, but my staff will think it was me. I have broad shoulders, I can take it, but it it still hurts.

Vera, you are correct about my husband. On the way out of town, I looked up movie times and told him to take a road over to a theater and we would not go to the casino. This was my chance to fight the urge, my last half-way effort in averting the trip. Our daughter was in the backseat and said, yeah Dad, let’s go see that movie. You know he kept driving. He drove right past that exit.
I asked him why he didn’t take me up on the movie to avoid another gambling trip. He said, “you weren’t going to stop until we went. If I had turned off toward the theater, you just would’ve wanted to go the next weekend.”
I told him, this trip was as much his fault as my own. I gave him a way out and he didn’t take it. He’s not a compulsive gambler,but he likes to play the slots. He’s not addicted but he was no help to me that day.
I will own up that it’s my fault we went, but I told him, it’s his job to stand up to me. It’s his job to see and help me when I am weak.
That’s why we had to ban, we made numerous pacts, a thousand promises to stay away from the local casino and broke them all. When we were there, he was right in line to get more money. This addiction was a joint effort, and apparently the recovery is all up to me!!!

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I have no problems. I talked to a nurse tonight from another branch about a shared patient. She started telling me about herself.
This nurse is 38, about 5 months pregnant, and has an 18 month old and 5 year old.
She has aplastic anemia and was scheduled for a bone marrow transplant to save her life when they discovered she was pregnant. She chose to continue her pregnancy and is now hoping to live long enough for her baby to be delivered. She says she has about a 70% survival prognosis.
She touched my heart.
Please pray for this mother, her children, and her husband. I am sure he is scared to death for her.
I get so wrapped up in myself, my stress, my faults, my drama….I have no problems. Everythings good and if it’s not good, it could be worse. So today, I am just going to be thankful.
Gambling addiction wants me to put myself first. It makes me want, want, want. When I put others needs and well being first, it makes gambling really stupid and selfish.
I have no real problems, so I am choosing not to make my life anymore stressful than it is, best way to do that is Not to gamble.

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I want to hear from you however I can. When I came back to update and couldn’t find your thread, I was very worried.
I would miss your personalized posts, because you always wrote such honesty into your feelings. It really helped me to read how you were handling or even not handling the emotional part of recovery. Not all days are good days and you owned those bad days in a way that gave me hope for myself.
I just love P, all of your writings are helpful in some way.
I don’t know why your thread is gone, but it makes me sad.

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Hang in there, you’re doing great. Gambling is a behaviour problem and it really does start in the mind. I had really dark days at first. It took me ten days to even start my thread here. You just need to turn your thoughts to every single positive thing you can at first. Make sure you put some plans in place for when you get paid. Talk it out and keep posting. Each day adds up and when you can look back on your posts they can help you keep from repeating those mistakes.
Think on good things. Things that aren’t money related. Take good physical care of yoursef. Eat and sleep and wash and clean. It helps take the sting out of the early depression. I had some very tearful days in the first few weeks. It is a part of the process.
you are on your way to a happier life!

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This is “How Lizbeth got her groove back”!
She’s got plans!
I hope you find fabulous things yard saling. I love to do that. I just can’t get my man up on the weekends early enough now that he works evenings. I can’t get out of the house before noon on Saturdays.
I once spent three weekends looking for ceramic pots for our deck. You know the bigger ones for plants. I refused to pay the big bucks at the garden centers. It finally panned out and I bought at least four from a yard sale that cost me less than the price of one, even at Wal-mart prices and they are gorgeous!
Have a blast:)

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Thanks Lizbeth and Charles,
I am across the pond and rarely am off when the groups are open. I wish I could join in them.
I talked openly with my daughter about the trip. After Charles’s very good question/ challenge. She knows my issues and I asked her why she agreed to come with us.
I told her I thought I asked her to make it seem less sinister, maybe take part of the guilt away from the whole thing. Here is a 22 year old child and grandchild of a CG’s response:
“I thought maybe I could keep you and Dad out of trouble”
“I wanted to know what the big deal about the casino was”
“When we were there and I was looking around, I felt like I was the only one who could see through the whole thing. I felt like I was the only one who could see what a sham it was!”
“I did not have a good time and all I could think about was how stupid it is to throw your money away like that”

So how do you stay quit? I can go about 2months, then it seems to overwhelm me.

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