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I noticed you havent posted in a couple of days. Hoping things are going good for you.
Very bad weather here. Several tornados, and thunderstorms have “the sunshine state” looking as if it was misnamed.
Try not to stay away too long….

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Hi Lizbeth
You write such wonderful posts. I see you are trying to care for your Mother and make some sweet memories. My grandmother came to live with my Mother when she was in her early eighties. She had always been the absolute most precious person. The older she got the more short tempered she became. She was especially difficult with my Mom. Mom could rarely do anything right. She became much more self centered. I dont know that this happens to us all, but in my Grandmother’s case it was a real change in her personality. As she became more hard of hearing and her memory declined, her patience seemed to evaporate. We all loved her more than anything, but to be honest she was a grump.
Spending a lot of time with anyone in my family never
seems to match my personal expectations. I think you are doing fine. Trying to over look her moods and not engage ih a fight is hard stuff. One thing you might consider is if she might have depression. This is common in the elderly and there are some terrific meds that may help her feel better.
Hope you have a really wonderful day today and the memories you make are as sweet as the cookies!

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Terrible flashback today. Talked it through with my husband. We had to use an ATM. How do you spell DejaVu?
I always stood right behind him at the ATM when we were gambling. (I needed my money right away). We were at the grocery store this time. At least that is productive.
I told him I had a really bad moment. He said he knew it. He said he felt the same urge too. We talked it over. He believes that because we have been going to the casino for so long it is imprinted on our minds. He said he has thoughts as well, but forces himself to see the craziness that we have been through, are still going through.
I can’t say I have been having bad urges, but to be honest that is probably because I am totally preoccupied with money. I have become a financial contortionist.
My husband held my hand in the drive today and prayed for us both. Prayed that God would give us strength to keep on track and then he prayed for a miracle for our financial problems. I adore this man. 23 years married and he still shocks me to the core sometimes.
So we were in agreement in prayer and I believe that where two or more are gathered….God is with us. He is my higher power and I am handing this worry over to Him.
I am so happy to have found GT. This is a wonderful forum and the people here are quickly becoming very dear to my heart.

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I agee that perspective regarding how badly others are suffering makes a difference in how I am coping with our debt. I applaud you on having a budget. I am not really able to budget just yet. The damage to my finances is very bad. I can only creep up on making a dent.
ALL that worry aside. I am not homeless. We have food to eat and jobs to go to. We have our health. I am able to say we because I still have a family. These are major blessings that many many people in this world do not have.
I have read your posts. You have these blessings too. (Your family may look different than mine), but they love you and you them. I see you as having optimism, hope for a better future. I see the bond you have with your son. You love animals and care about their treatment. You have had a rough time of things and have saught help. I think you are doing terrific and One Day at a Time is the perfect way to live. None of us could do it any better.
How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time:)

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Great job! It’s so nice that you are able to see the good things and appreciate them. Your positivity is contagious:)

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One month today. I think the longest I have gone without playing in the last 5 years is probably 2 months. So that is my next goal.
We went to the Choral performance tonight. It was very nice. The children were so talented and the music was terrific.
HOWEVER my Mom, my sister, and my family of four, plus our daughter’s friend came (so nice we all wanted to support our 16 year old)…..the drama my family can create is staggering. I argued with my sister, my Mom, my husband, my son, and my daughter. My daughter argued with my sister and her friend.I could go on and on. My husband said we should have our own reality show with how much drama we can create. I was not innocent in these exchanges.
Very stressful evening overall. Parking was atrocious people everywhere.
Nothing but household chores for tomorrow. Glad to have no plans tomorrow. I need some rest.

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I am so glad you came back and posted. I hope you are doing well today and working hard on your plans.
If this was easy none of us would be here on this site. I cant tell you all the times I have been drawn back into gambling. It is a sneaky, lying thing that speaks to our minds. You are stronger than you think. And I am sure you are more important to a lot of people than you realize.
You have what it takes! Keep it up. Your posts to others are so inspiring.

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I pledge to feel my emotions and not try to stuff them in a slot machine!
I also pledge not to call in to work tomorrow.

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Thank you for your upbeat post on my thread. Am in total understanding about the dog vs. Carpet issue. Our poor dog is so old my livingroom stinks terribly! I sometimes forget just how bad it is until my sister comes over to remind me:)
Families are good for things like that….(telling me my dog stinks :))
I hope you get back to jazzercise soon. That sound like a lot of fun.

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Hey there, John. Time to post! How are things today? Hope you had a good one.

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We had planned to go to a “cheap” dinner tonight just my man and I. However, there seems to be a hold on our account (the truck payment is 21 days past due). This freeze will cost us in fees because I paid a creditor today. Uggh!
The other account is in the negative as well. (Payday for that is tomorrow).
So we had lovely grilled cheese sandwiches and canned soup for dinner. (It really was very good) Somehow food tastes better when you are hungry.
Tomorrow is one month since I gambled (we gambled). No real urges, just disgusted with the finances. He gets paid on Wednesdays and I get paid on Fridays. Still feels like we are getting nowhere. Big time crazy slot players = long time stupid debt.
It will be ok. I will not let myself get freaked out. I am excited about the chorus concert tomorrow. I am excited about Disney although who knows how many sandwiches we will have to eat next week to afford the lunchat the tea party.
Thank you Ican and Bettie for your posts.
BTW–we have 3 cats and a very old and pitiful chocolate lab. The cats run the house;)

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I will look up Melody Beatty, i am just finishing a book by Beth Moore named “Breaking Free”. I started to read it on one of my previuos attempts at quitting gambling. It is about all kind of things that might hold us in bondage.
I have talked to my husband about GA several times in the past. I had looked up the meetings before the exclusion. He will not go. I was going to go at one point without him, but it just didn’t happen.
I have thought about the starving analogy you used and can see that Cold turkey will not really solve the reasons I have this in me to want to play those slots. I will have to keep reading and trying to retrain my mind. I shared my story tonight with a woman I used to work with years ago. I saw her again maybe 5 years ago and she told me she met my Mom. They had been sitting next to each other at the casino. My Mom is a talker:) So our paths crossed tonight at a play we went to this evening. She recognized me and started to talk about my Mom and how she hadn’t seen her lately. I told her my husband and I had been going way too much and did a life-time ban. (She was shocked!) I told her my Mom wasn’t the only one with a problem and we decided it had to end. She said, “yeah that place will really get into your mind”. Maybe it planted a seed for her, that is if she is a CG which I suspect she is at least a frequent
gambler.
My family of four went to a play tonight called Eternity. It was very moving and we loved it. Then we went for Dairy Queen (peanut buster parfaits all around). Delicious!
We have plans tomorrow night after work and on Friday too for All-county chorus, our son was selected as a tenor. (This a big deal). He has practice tomorrow and the concert is on Friday night.
We are going to our niece’s birthday party at a Disney Resort on Sunday after church. She is turning 5 and having a princess tea party. We will go to one of the parks after that. Our daughter works at Disney so we get in free!
I really can’t remember such a full week before. I am going to be so exhausted, but I am looking forward to it all.
My mind was nearly completey free of slot-think today and that was soooo great:)

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Great job coming back from the brink!
That is success!

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I had to look up what a vlt was. Thanking God they are not here and available to me.
There are still quite a bit of conservative voters in Florida and now that I am on this recovery road I will always vote to keep them out!
Today is Veteran’s Day and I forgot to call my Dad. He served in the Army. I feel guilty for that.
I didn’t gamble either;) so we are both good for one thing and not another. God forgives:)
Blended families are so hard sometimes.
I am sure your quilt will be a beauty. I am jealous, My sewing is an atrocity.

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Remember the acts of kindness? We have a lot of places here that deliver meals or hand out food in soup kitchens. This idea has been brewing in my mind when I read your posts. It would get you out of that apartment and face to face with people. There are some really great people involved in that kind of thing. They can always use the help.
I think God intervenes in our lives, maybe these delays in your pay will help you stay straight when it comes.
In reading your story, I can tell you have a lot to offer the world. I believe you can overcome your past. You are already overcoming it! There is more to you than betting and working. Try to eat well, sleep, and stay sober:) The good things are waiting for you. You can do this!
Read your post on 11/6/14. Those were great plans to stay gamble free!

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