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So glad to read you are feeling better. Wonderful news here from your evaluation to your daughter’s new job. Things look brighter. All good things come from the Lord and He is worthy of our praise!
Have a great day:)

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Gorgeous morning!
My coffee is hot and the sky is blue. It’s time to be thankful and get busy on my messy house and the piled up laundry. I can’t be lazy today or everyone will have to go around naked!

Thank you Vera and Sad! My boy is trying to become a man and he is forgetting to offer his parents respect as he makes this transition. He is on thin ice right now. I am thankful not to be a single mom. My husband keeps reminding me that we are a team. It is good to hear that. It is probably the reason the teenager still has his teeth. If I hadn’t been able to rely on his Dad, things just might have become violent. I can so understand that face slap I got. I didn’t repeat history, but man oh man I wanted to take him down the other day. Problem is he is now, the boy towers over me! He is so tall and I am a shorty.
Things have quieted down, but the child thinks everything should be forgotten. He wanted to go to a bonfire party tonight and well, we said no! He couldn’t understand why not. Reub looked at him and said, “when you curse out your mother, bad things happen, like you have to miss parties. Try and remember that the next time you get so angry.”
No gambling here. I carried a twenty in my pocket yesterday and thought about a scratch off, but we pulled up to two very sad looking homeless men last evening and my husband wanted to help them, i told him all I had was the $20, and handed it over. He gave it to the old guy and we heard him when he saw the amount, the man wimpered out an “oh, oh” and as he looked down at the bill, he almost tripped and fell. Both our children were in the car with us and they were grinning at how excited the two fellows were.That was the most i have ever given to a street person. They were so happy. The slot machine never thought much of a $20 at all. Giving that away felt amazing!

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I see you have your days full now. When you are done at your daughter’s, you can always come to Florida, my house seems to be in disarray as well….just in case you run out of things to do. 🙂
So happy you have that boy, he seems to give you a ray of sunshine everytime you are together.
Have a blast this weekend!

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Hi Micky,
just read through your last messages and I am so sorry I hadn’t seen it earlier. I hope things are ok with you. I know I didn’t reach out at all the last time I gambled. I didn’t really want anyone to try and stop me. That you did want support and didn’t get the responses you felt were needed is a hard thing. I love reading your positivity in your posts, but truth is we wouldn’t be posting at all if all was well within us. We never wouldhave saught out this forum if we were ok.
I am sure the sight does the best they can with there resources and I would like to think that one day maybe I will be well enough to volunteer or financially able to donate funds here to help prevent a break down like what happened to you.
please know I care

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There is an animated video that Harry posted, I just posted on it to bring it back to page one. It will show you what addiction really looks like. Try and watch it if you can. It really helped me see what I have been doing to myself.
The results of just one more bet or one more spree get more and more deadly.
You can choose a different life!

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My 16 year old son cussed at me for the first time last night. What a shock that is. I called my own Mother a foul name to her face when I was 16. She slapped my face. I really wish she had never cursed me with that Mother’s curse. “I hope one day, you have a child just like you.”
His Dad set him straight, he let the boy know, that He could not disrepect me like that. Terrible scene at my house.
He has apologized, I am sort of numb.
Have had no gambling urges. I don’t want to run out and gamble. That is good. I just thought I would post this so those of you who pray might remember my family just now. These teenage years are so hard.

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Your post is fantastic too! Music to my ears:)
Hope abounds!

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I just typed my heart out and lost my connection before it saved.
don’t have the energy to repeat it. Suffice it to say,
all is well here. No gambling! I rembered that I really enjoy crosswords:)

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Missing you!

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Hi Bettie
I wanted to thank you for your post on my thread. I always read what you write several times as I know you are speaking with true knowledge of this addiction. I am listening.
I really hate that you have been sick and hope you have gotten better. My daughter has a low immune system and when she gets sick it can really hang on for a while. She recently startef taking Elderberry supplements at the first sign of a cold and it seems to help. She takes one twice a day for a week. I researched it and it has some interesting studies behind it. Make sure if you decide to try it to read up on it first in case it is something that might clash with other medicines.
thanks again for your posts!
KP

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Thank you all fot your support. Things are looking brighter. We went to an outdoors birthday party for a one year old. There were good people there and lots of food. Almost bought a scratch off today, but thought of a better use for the $. Our son was off overnight for a leadership conference and ne was chosen to represent his district at the state event. I am very proud of him.
Found some peppers growing on some plants we grew from seeds in the backyard. It was like finding treasure. We thought the bugs or the cold had taken them all.
I spent last night completely alone. Husband worked a second shift and our daughter was out. It gave me time to read all the posts I had missed.
I am doing well mentally. I realize that the stretch I had gamble free was not wasted. I have learned a lot about myself and this last night of gambling was a real eye opener for me. I have more to do to protect myself. I really have a lot of work to do in my thought life. I wont be able to say that 2015 was gamble free, but I will be able to say that I am healing. The noose is not strangling me. I am getting stronger.

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Day 3
Starting over again. I couldn’t face my own journal. It wasn’t a slip. It was very deliberate. It took planning and a lot of travel. No excuses from me. I do feel that all the casinos are the same now. This put the brakes on wanting to go to Vegas or Biloxi on vacation.THEY ALL EQUALLY BITE! Finances are bad. Same as always. God is good, SAME AS ALWAYS!

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Thank you Ican, Sad, and Velvet for your encouraging posts.
We have family here visiting. They are staying with my sister, she has a beautiful home. We have gotten together with them for the last three evenings. My cousin and his family came to watch the Outback Bowl game.
CG in that family too. My oldest cousin, son of my uncle who died after a major heartattack just months after being caught out for embezzlement. We talked about the family addiction. He showed me his private site for betting on his phone. (It scared me to death for him). All the while I am scared for him, sick over how animated my mother gets talking to him about gambling, yet my own urges are So Strong! We all played a dice game one night. 10 of usl then 11played. It was a gambling game, low stakes, I loved it. But hated it because the teenagers and my 8 year old nephew was allowed to play too. I thought. Well this is how it gets passed along to the next generation…..the 8 year old won. They showered him with the money. He was grinning ear to ear. Oh God, pleases protect that sweet child. Seemed innocent to most of the family. Seemed sinister to me. There were at least three of us that are fullblown CGs around that table. Who knows who among the young ones will be next.
struggling here.

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Happy New Years!!!
May 2015 bring God’s blessings on you and yours!

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When I get a grandchild, I hope I am half as cool as you are!
Your stories about how you spend time together makes a very soft spot in my heart. I hope 2015 is a wonderful year for you, your girls, your grandson and even your Mother! I am sure you will have to point out all the good stuff to her! Some people have a hard time counting their blessings.
NOT YOU!!!
MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL THIS YEAR:)

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