Thanks for replying and the warm welcome.
I have this awareness about myself and the internal conflict makes it so hard that I feel like a good, loyal, caring person but that is all stripped away because of that one day a month and I spend the next 29 days beating myself up and questioning everything I am and if I should be here or not.
I hope that day of realisation comes too, I am trying to find that trigger point of what will make it stick.
