[kolberg]

well done on your 7 days 🙂 all it takes is one bet…

[kolberg]

hi dev,

it’s devastating to hear that. it could be way worse though, believe me. i would suggest admiting your problem to someone you trust and ask them to keep the money for a while.

in my country you can ask exclusion from all legal online casinos at one website and when you do it you won’t be allowed to bet in any online casino. Try to see if something similar is possible in your country.

if you don’t take tough measures now all money will be gone and you’ll be in debt soon, that’s what happens when we let ourselves sink in this terrible addiction.

i wish you all the best and that you can leave this horrible addiction before it harms you more – it’s not about the money, gambling is useless, an ilusion, and it will take everything good away from you!

[kolberg]

Thanks, I’ll check it out 🙂

[kolberg]

So it’s the beginning of day 6. Everything is normal, I don’t feel any urges but I don’t have money to gamble nor the possibility to do it (at least online – since i put really small limits). Still, if I felt like this all the time it would be so easy to quit gambling.

I’ve just finished Allen Carr’s book. Well, it’s a new approach and although i kept an open mind and will see things as he exposes on the book, I think it’s way too optimistic and it doesn’t work.. I’ll give it a try and it was worth reading though.
Does anyone have suggestions on stuff to read or see (related to gambling or not)?

[kolberg]

Relapsing is part of the recovery.

Try to identify the trigger and be confident that a bright future without gamling is coming.

All the best!

[kolberg]

Ok, so considering 18th of July was day 0, today is day 3 gambling free! It’s been fairly easy till now, I know the most difficult part is yet to come. Friday I went out with some friends to a place I really wanted to go to (although they didn’t want to go in the first place, then wanted to, then not wanted to, blablabla – that instability made me sad and think a bit about how I feel lonely and how I don’t have true friends but at the end they came with me and it was fun). Yesterday I went to a concert with the same group of friends, we had bought the tickets long ago. I mentioned my gambling problem. Not directly but I did mention quite a few times “I have to stop gambling”, “I have a gambling problem”, “I can’t buy btc because that activates my addiction neural circuits”… So I guess they understood,but as you mentioned Steve, for them it was not a big deal. Probably they just think I’m overreacting because I didn’t tell them how much I spent or how much that screwed up my life, but still, it was good to talk about it. I also came out to them, they were so supportive and it felt good to know that it doesn’t really matter to them that I’m gay or straight or wtv. Next step would be telling my parents both things, but that will be way more difficult.
So Friday and Saturday were very nice, I felt happy. Today though I wook up sad, as a week where I don’t have much planned is coming. It would be good to find a job for the summer, but as I will be abroad one week in August no one would give me a job. So I guess I will have to find stuff to do like learning, reading, walking… This month and a half till the new job is going to be one of the toughest times in my life. I try to focus on the future though, imagining the happy life I’ll have 🙂 Today I’m not gambling!

[kolberg]

That’s true… I’ll download those apps and really focus on learning positive things.

[kolberg]

It’s so hard to step outside one’s comfort zone!! But yes, telling my close friends and parents would be at the same time a load taken off my chest and bringing some truth into my life. I’ll think what’s the best way to mention the topic (maybe not telling them all details or how big the financial hole is).

Right now I’m living in a small town without GA, but in September I’ll move to the capital for this new job and then I’ll give it a try. It would be awesome if I could stay away from gambling these two months. I could be enjoying summer, going out, chilling, but the few friends I have work, have their lives, and it’s been a bit hard to just wait alone… I guess loneliness in my case is both a cause and an effect of my addiction. I do hope this new job will bring some new friendships, and even living in the capital I want to do volunteering, language courses, have things in my life other than gambling. I know I should keep the expectations low, but hoping for a better future is good for the recovery, I think. 

[kolberg]

Wow, that’s so inspiring!

[kolberg]

Thank you for your words. 

In fact I admitted to myself that I’m an addict and that I need to find a way to stay away from gambling a long time ago. Perhaps the key to success is letting the shame go and admit to others that I have a problem. It’s just so hard to do it, to think that theyll look at me in a different way, maybe with pity, it would be hard…

Regarding GA meetings that’s also one of my fears, don’t belonging there. Maybe it’s just my brain trying to stop me from admitting to others that I’m an addict, to put myself in a weak position. 

Indeed, it’s so discouraging to look back at my 100s of unsuccessful attempts to stop gambling, also to read the stories around here of people that after years clean relapse… One thinks it’s impossible to stop.

[Author]

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