[Kirty1972]

Well I have managed to survive the weekend without having a bet and have kept myself busy and away from temptation,

It has definately helped telling all my close friends / family and work mates as they are keeping me busy and inviting me around to get me out of the house,

It has also been good to talk to people about the mess I am in and what my plans are to get sorted,

On the night shift tonight so just on a break,

Hope everybody else is baring up okay and things are looking brighter,

Just need to stay positive and keep talking to people so I reaffirm what I have done and why I need to stay away from gambling

Thanks again

[Kirty1972]

Thanks Velvet and the team for welcoming me and I shall keep you posted on my progress,

I know I have a problem and even though it is under control at the moment I know the beast is lurking inside waiting to get out again,

This week I have been hectic at work but have started to venture outside again and will get stuck in to a house renovation my mum is currently doing. (New house)

I have dusted down my fishing tackle and plan on getting out of the house and away from the PC as much as I can have the missus has changed all the passwords so I cannot get on to gambling sites.

I purposeless opened accounts and then self excluded for the maximum terms so I cannot get into any again for the foreseeable future,

[Kirty1972]

Just back from shopping had to run the missus…

Anyway I was still doing okay and had a number of my accounts shut or restricted for having good runs on the horses and making a decent profit,

As I could not get my bets on with a lot of the major firms I started to deposit more money into my betfair account and would regularly have a few hundred quid in there to play around with..

As I had been dipping into the joint account the missus was regularly checking I was not using it so I had to get money from elsewhere when funds ran dry,

I would take out loans for a couple grand here and there and just set up monthly payments,

I took a few months out of gambling I think it was late 2012 and self excluded from Betfair and any other accounts I had access to and threw myself into a new challenge to keep myself busy,

I decided to do a charity bike ride for a local hospice and got myself fit by going out every night building up my distance each day until I was fit enough to do the 60 miles required,

It was great getting sponsors and posting a daily log of how i was getting on,

Everybody was saying good luck and well done and to be honest I enjoyed being outside and seeing everything I had been missing out on whilst stuck at the computer gambling,

Anyway the day of the bike ride came and I managed to do the 60 miles in just under 5hrs and raised £1300 for the local hospice so all good,

I was now bored though as I had nothing to drive myself I was still busy at work but when I got home I would be twiddling my fingers bored.. I tried the gym and was enjoying that but hurt my shoulder and then a knee injury put me out of action so I succumbed to the old routine and reopened my betfair account and a couple other accounts and started to deposit funds into them,

I had lost the spark and enthusiasm I once had and became lazy not studying and just crediting my account once the funds had gone..

Again when funds ran dry I would take out another loan and would set up another monthly payment,

The bets started to get bigger as I chased my losses thinking if I could win a set amount I could pay off the loans,

A few of the guys I knew told me about a possible horse accumulator that was being organised by a certain trainer and they all got on the horses the night before at good prices,

As I did not have any money available I could not get on so to speak so I had to sit back and watch as one by one they all came in,

A £25 EW treble bet had returned over 12 thousand pounds and a couple of the guys who had placed a bit more on had would in the 20 thousand mark,

To say I felt sick would be an understatement.. I went to bed that evening thinking why did you not borrow the money from the joint or taken out another loan to play..

This would be a regular thing now as I would stay away from tips and just do my own research but the edge I had was gone I could not get my head around anything as I would constantly be thinking about money and how I was going to get out of the hole I was constantly digging for myself,

I then got the news I was being made redundant and that spurred me on to get motivated in finding a new job which I did thankfully and knowing I had a lump sum of money coming I started to big up my bets again and take out pay day loans on the strength of my upcoming payout,

When my redundancy finally came through I owed nearly 5K out to loan companies and family members,

I cleared all these and booked a holiday and thought right you have 1K lets have some fun..

Put the money into an account and played up to nearly 2 grand then being greedy I placed a big bet on 2 horses to place in the US.. both wagers were for 5 hundred pounds and all the horses had to do was place in the top 3.. easy money I thought both last time out winners in a lower class race what could go wrong.. as usual when you increase the bets both horses fell out of the stalls got boxed in and came to late to finish in the top 3.. I didn’t feel sick or anything it is like I knew the outcome before the race was run if that makes any sense,

As it was now late in the evening I decided to have safe bet and placed the remaining £1000 on a late football match, checked out both sides form and both had not scored in there last few meetings so I stuck the lot on under 2.5..

It was late in the 2nd half when the home team scored so I thought do not worry they only have 10 minutes left and no way will there be any more goals,

On 90 minutes I thought the job was done so popped to the kitchen to get a beer and heard the cheer as the opposite team had scored,

Before I could get back to my screen they scored again to make it 2-1 to the away team.. I could not believe it 2 goals in the 91st and 93rd minute had ruined me..

As I sat there with the can of lager I felt empty how could they let in 2 late goals.. the beer now tasted flat and the in the bag feeling had gone leaving the usual despair,

I trundled up to bed and had another sleepless night thinking of a way out,

I still had a few hundred pounds in my account so I thought you have done it before lets go for it again,

Stuck £300 in the account and built this up to a nice healthy £1000 but rather than withdraw I kept going and again frittered the money away..

As I was now down to my overdraft I decided to stick £500 in my account usual script up for 2 days then all gone,

Took out payday loans not sure why and still baffled now and continued down the self destruct path,

I was getting paid and clearing my pay day loans then within 2 days I would be taking them out again,

I had borrowed money from the joint account again to pay for road tax and some petrol and put this back as usual once I took out a loan,

Things had now spiralled out of control and I felt like I was losing my mind..

As I had a race meeting coming up for a mates 40th I decided I was going to stop betting and was going to tell the missus and family on my return on the Sunday,

I told all my mates about the dept I had run up and that they were not to contact me about anything bet related and that I had to stay away from all forms of betting,

They were all in shock when I told them what I owed and what I had been doing with the payday loans and all offered help in some form but said I needed to speak to my missus and family and get some help,

Unfortunately or a blessing for me the bank statement arrived whilst I was away and the missus texted saying she had seen the money going out and recongised the pattern and sussed I had been gambling again,

She then proceeded to ring my sister who in turn contacted my mum as they felt I could do myself some harm if I thought I was going to lose the missus as well, (I had elaborate plans to get money but I would never harm myself)

I returned on the Sunday afternoon to find the missus with a face like thunder and was read the riot act as I had work on the Sunday night I had to leave her smarting as I faced a long night knowing I had to sort things out,

On the Monday morning I went to bed only to be woken by banging at the door and opened it to be faced by my mother and one of my sisters,

They asked what was going on and I had to tell the truth and accept I was in the pooh..

It was a great relief to have everything in the open and get things off my chest,

Luckily my mother was in a position to help me financially but I had to hand over all my debit cards / credit cards take myself off the joint account and hand over the control of my finances to her,

One by one I rang the payday loan companies and paid back what I owed and asked them not to lend me any more money,

On checking my bank account my mum found out i had numerous loans some at very high percentages so she paid off 2 of the higher ones,

My total dept is over the 20 thousand mark and I have been told it is going to take me 5yrs to pay them all off,

I have been to see a counseller and will continue to go and see her every week for the next 21 weeks I think it is,

All my online accounts have now been shut down and I have not had a bet for over 2 weeks now and do not feel the need but I know it has a habit of sneaking back up on you,

As my mum has all my cards and I have reordered a new debit card so I do not have the number I cannot access any funds and have been given a weekly allowance that I can use for a few beers and what not,

It is going to be a long road but thought I would air my problem on here and keep people posted on how I get on,

I cannot let myself or my family down again and need to stay focussed and get back to what I do best and get myself on track,

As I work nights I am going to fill my days with doing odd jobs and hopefully earn a few extra pounds for doing so,

I feel pretty bad about the mess I ave gotten myself into but at the end of the day it is only money and through hard work and discipline I can get straight again,

The missus is behind me and knows she will have to tighten her belt for a few years but when I come out the other side and the depts have been paid back we can have the big holidays and what not again,

Thanks for reading anyway and best of luck to everybody who has come here and stay strong…

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