[kin]

The biggest take away for me practicing my personal recovery under this thread was the realization that there is no one giant step that does it, it was a lot of little steps.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by kin.

[kin]

I need to be told:
make it a practice…with a pure intention.

I only need to remove the risk and stay away from danger today.
Tomorrow, I do the same.
One day at a time.

[kin]

The facilitator walked around the room,

As she raised a glass of water, I expected her to ask the “half empty or half full” question.

Instead, she ask the class: ”How heavy is this glass of water?”

She says that “It depends on how long I hold it.”

If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem.

If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm.

If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed.

The weight of the glass of water doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water.

Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt.

And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them forever.

Remember to put the glass down!

Many of us are holding on to our dark past, we continue to beat ourselves up instead of getting well. Remember to put the glass down, it is high time for the misery and suffering to stop and let the healing begin.

[kin]

Hi marcus,

I am really looking forward to read your next post.

[kin]

Hi jvr3419,

Thinking of you. I miss reading your post.

[kin]

Hi risingphoenix,

Thinking of you. I miss reading your post.

[kin]

I need to protect myself from the problem that can lead to my gambling.
I need to do everything to protect myself from my impulse control disorder and obsessive control disorder.

[kin]

Working on the potential risk and loopholes in my recovery today.
Is helping me to work on my laziness and complacency in my recovery.

Why didn’t I do it in the past?

1. I was lazy and did not think it was necessary.
2. I was complacent and took things for granted.
3. I have under estimated this small hole in the ship. I did not think this small hole can grow in size or sink the whole ship.
4. I was not willing to put in the extra effort and work to get thing done in the past.
5. If I am willing to do it, I did not have the urgency to do it, I did not think it is important, I will procrastinate and tell myself, “Next time” or “Later” and “Next time” or “Later” never come.
6. Until one day I could not resist the temptation to gamble and lost all the money in my hand.

I only need to remove the risk and stay away from danger today.
Tomorrow, I do the same thing.
I do it one day at a time.

[kin]

I just woke up from my sleep and I feel happy.
I just did something in my dream that do not happen in my real life.
First, I meet up with a group of people for outing.
Second, one of the places we visit was a slot machine clubhouse.
I get to talk and laugh with people in my dream and I get to play the machines for hours.
I had fun but it cost me a lot of money on the slot machine.

I was the one who suggested to the group to visit this slot machine club house in our outing.
I did not know what this dream means, it is probably my desire or something I like to do.
It shows that I am still attracted to sin.

I like the talking and laughing with people, the flashing light, loud music and noise from the machines.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by kin.

[kin]

Things are manageable and under control today
I have cleared all the things at the top of my priority list for this month.

Outstanding was an unimportant little thing, I have not completed this task.
I cannot understand why I am thinking about it all the times;
it can turn into an unwanted, intrusive, irritating, obsessive and disturbing thoughts one day.
it can become toxic and stressful after a period of time.

Practicing them regularly has become a habit.
Everyday I was working hard to remove any risk and staying away from danger.

Once I complete this little task, this thought will disappear forever,
I will not suffer from intrusive or obsessive thought on this matter anymore.
It is gone forever.

This is what I did today.
I am not taking my safety in recovery for granted today
I did not want to risk turning a molehill into a mountain one day.
I simply removed the risk today.

I only need to focus on today.
Tomorrow I do the same.
One day at a time.

Thank God for the mercy and grace.
I am grateful for the protection today.

[kin]

Recovery stories 01
The Recovery Boat

A religious man fell from a cruise ship and was splashing around in the middle of a big ocean, slowly running out of strength. He prayed to God to save him.

Out of nowhere a boat appeared and they threw him a rope.

He pushed it away saying “It’s okay I don’t need a rope; God will save me”.

They threw the rope again, and again he pushed it away.

Now he’s getting really tired and prays all the harder.

A third time they throw the rope and with the last of his strength he pushes it away saying again that God will save him.

With the last of his strength gone he sinks and drowns.

When he gets to heaven he says “God, I have worshipped you all my life, why didn’t you help me in my hour of need when I prayed for that help?”.

God says “I sent you a bloody boat!”.

Recovery stories 02
The Parable of The Rope – Letting Go of gambling and Trusting God

The story tells about a mountain climber, who wanted to climb the highest mountain.

He began his adventure after many years of preparation, but since he wanted the glory just for himself, he decided to climb the mountain alone.

The night felt heavy in the heights of the mountains, and the man could not see anything. All was black. Zero visibility, and the moon and the stars were covered by the clouds.

As he was climbing, only a few feet away from the top of the mountain, he slipped and fell into the air, falling at a great speed.

The climber could only see black spots as he went down, and the terrible sensation of being sucked by gravity. He kept falling… and in those moments of great fear, it came to his mind all the good and bad episodes of his life. He was thinking now about how close death was getting, when all of a sudden, he felt the rope tied to his waist pull him very hard.

His body was hanging in the air. Only the rope was holding him, and in that moment of stillness he had no other choice but scream, “HELP ME GOD!!”

All of a sudden, a deep voice coming from the sky answered, “What do you want Me to do?”

“Save me God!!”

“Do you really think I can save you?”

“Of course, I believe You can.”

“Then cut the rope tied to your waist.”

There was a moment of silence and the man decided to hold on to the rope with all his strength.

The rescue team found the climber dead and frozen on the next day…

his body hanging from a rope – His hands holding tight to the rope only 10 feet away from the ground.

When are you going to let go of the gambling?

There would be no sense in saying you trusted Him if you would not take his advice.
You need to follow and obey Him.

Recovery stories 03
A stone cutter may strike the rock 99 times with no apparent effect,
not even a crack on the surface. Yet with the hundredth blow, the rock splits in two.

It was not the final blow that did the trick,
but all that had gone before.

The same is true with healing and recovery
I may pursue a goal for months without obvious results and
become convinced that I’m wasting my time.

But if I continue going to meeting, share about my struggle,
taking it one day at a time, and be patient with myself,
I may awaken one day, to find that I have changed, seemingly overnight.

I have a gut feel that all these months of faith and
hard work will made the changes possible one day and
the results would reveal themselves abruptly one day.

It took me a long time to become an addict
it may take me a longer time to recover.
I must be patient.

[kin]

You will be experiencing the fight between two voices in your head.
One tells you “No more gambling”
Another tell you to do it “One more time”
And there will be a tug of war inside your head.

Wolf Parable

An elder Apache was teaching his grandchildren about life.
He said to them,”A fight is going on inside me; it is a terrible fight
and it is between two wolves.

One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance,
self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, competition, superiority, and ego.

The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person too.”

They thought about it for a minute
and then one child asked his grandfather,
“Which wolf will win?”

The old Grandpa simply replied, “The one you feed.

Are you feeding your addiction or your recovery?

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by kin.

[kin]

As much as I try, the only person who have the power over to actually change is our self. I cannot change the person that I am trying to help especially those that is suffering from a mental illness and addiction at the same time. It can get very stressful for me. I need to let go and let God, let the professional do their job. If I am not careful, I can do more harm to these people than help.

I need to say this other serenity prayer:

Dear God, please grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know…it is me. Amen.

I like to regret over my past and worry about the future, it can be very risky and dangerous to my recovery. It can really stress me and I need to say this other serenity prayer:

Dear God, please grant me the serenity to stop beating myself up for not doing things perfectly, the courage to forgive myself because I am working on getting better, and the wisdom to know that you already love me, just the way I am. Amen.

I need to stay focus on today. One day at a time.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by kin.

[kin]

I hope to become a person that is not quick to judge a person for their failures and I hope to be able to see how I was like them when I hear or read their sharing.

I need to be told: When I die, I can take nothing with me. My wealth and glory will not follow me into the grave.

I need to repent before it is too late.

[kin]

I have not gamble and not suffering from the problem that gambling gives me.
However, I still continue to face the problem that can lead to my gambling.
I need to do everything to protect myself from the first bet.

I have a very bad habit of looking into my past and the future when I should be focusing on today.
I am not going to waste precious time dwelling on the past and the future today.
I am going to use this time for rest and sleep instead.

[Author]

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