[kin]

Dear diary,

I started writing about my days in recovery here in 2008.

Never in the past have I wrote about bringing mum out regularly to keep her happy.
It is becoming as regular as my weekly meeting now
Is this the same person ? Is this going to last ? I could not do it in the past
I was watching myself, bringing mum out, the day is turning into week and into month now.
In the beginning, I doubt myself, I don’t believe myself, I was watching myself closely.

My God is an awesome God

It may be a simple and easy thing for others to do but trust me, for an addict, it was a very difficult and almost impossible thing for me to do. I was always either getting myself into more troubles or busy getting myself out of troubles.
I do love my family but have never shown or given any love to them for many years.

I was very diligent and always there week in week out for either my gambling in the beginning and later my recovery meetings for many years but I was never there for my mum when she needed someone.

Ever since I knew God and listens to His Word.
I started to honor my parent and family.

Glory to God!

For changing and helping me do things now that I can only dream of in the past.

I am living life like a normal person now. Praise to God!

[kin]

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Chapter 1
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place
but, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5
I walk down another street.

Copyright (c) 1993, by Portia Nelson from the book There’s A Hole in My Sidewalk.

[kin]

What is Habit?

Habit formation is the process by which behaviour, through regular repetition, becomes automatic or habitual
1. A recurrent, often unconscious pattern of behaviour that is acquired through frequent repetition.
2. An established disposition of the mind or character.
A disposition is a habit, a preparation, a state of readiness, or a tendency to act in a specified way.

What is addiction?

Addiction is defined as not having control over doing, taking or using something, to the point where it could be harmful to you. An addiction is an unhealthy relationship with drugs, or alcohol, in which you use more than you would like to use, and you continue to use despite negative consequences.

[kin]

Founded in 2004, ONE HOPE CENTRE is a faith-based non-profit voluntary welfare organisation setup to help members of the public (regardless of race and religion) who are affected by problem gambling and related issues, through counselling, support groups, education and intervention with an aim to restore life to normalcy.
The consequences from compulsive gambling that often lead to being heavily indebted, create a host of other problems that include anxiety, fear, family crisis and social ills. One Hope Centre hopes to alleviate these consequences by providing hope amidst hopelessness.
Over the years, OHC has handled hundreds of cases related to compulsive gambling and reckless borrowing. These have provided us with a good understanding of how best to reach out to the affected. Our accumulated experience from conducting support groups, individual and family counselling, as well as recovery programs enables us to take a holistic approach to the recovery of our clients.
ONE HOPE CENTRE
8 New Industrial Road, #04-04B
LHK 3 Building
Singapore 536200
Tel: 6547 1011 (4 lines)

[kin]

WE CARE Community Services is an addiction recovery centre funded by charity. We provide support and treatment programmes for all forms of addiction, including drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, and various other compulsive behaviours. Our services are open to all persons who are in need of help to cope with an addictive disorder. We also serve to assist family members who need guidance and support on how to manage an addict in their families.
WE CARE provides counseling to those suffering from addictions, as well as family and loved ones, whose lives are affected by someone struggling with the disease.
All our counsellors are trained to help individuals with all addictions, co-dependency and related family issues.
Psycho-educational workshops devoted to help recovery persons to understand and cope with addiction as a disease. It equip recovering persons to develop better coping, interpersonal and life skills
Our drop-in centre provides a safe and supportive place for recovering persons. Apart from social activities for recovering persons and their families, the centre provides various training and psycho-educational workshops that encourage sustained recovery.
WE CARE hosts various RSGs on a weekly/ daily basis and, all RSGs are self-help groups, based on the Twelve-step principles on recovery.
Address
WE CARE Community Services Ltd
Kembangan-Chai Chee Community Hub
11 Jalan Ubi, Block 5, #01-41
Singapore 409074
Tel 6547 5459
Gambling Anonymous Mon 7.00 pm – 8.00 pm

[kin]

Blessed Grace Social Service
(hereafter known as “BGSS”) is a non-profit organization officially registered in March 2014 to benefit the community by relieving human need , particularly in the recovery of people in addictions (gambling, drugs and others), the poor, the elderly and youths at risk
8428 6377 (Gamblers Recovery Centre)
18 Arumugam Road, #05-01, Antioch@Macpherson, Singapore 409962
http://www.bgss.org.sg/#!about2/c21ew

[kin]

NATIONAL ADDICTIONS MANAGEMENT SERVICE
Programmes
NAMS conducts individual counselling, group psychoeducation,
family therapy as well as support group programmes for
patients and their family members.
Counselling and psychoeducation programmes enable patients
to increase their knowledge and understanding of addiction
and develop effective relapse prevention plans to manage
their addictions. Family counselling supports families in their
caregiving role, and helps with the patients’ re-integration
into the family.

Our programmes include:
Gambling Addiction Management through Education (GAME)
& GAME-Family
Through a series of eight psychoeducation and discussion
groups, GAME educates patients about gambling addiction
and recovery. Patients who complete GAME can attend a
Recovery Support Group for ongoing support from their peers.

GAME-Family brings together families impacted by problem gambling. Family members can gain tips and strategies on dealing with the consequences of problem gambling, and
also receive emotional support from one other.
NATIONAL ADDICTIONS MANAGEMENT SERVICE
Buangkok Green Medical Park
Block 9, 10 Buangkok View
Singapore 539747
General Enquiries: 6389-2000
Appointment Line: 6389-2200
E-mail: nams@imh.com.sg
National Problem Gambling Helpline: 1800-6-668-668
http://www.nams.sg

[kin]

Dear diary,

Am feeling stress at work because I don’t know how to perform my new role and also feeling more tired nowadays
When I am tired mentally and physically, first thought to do wrong or act out happens
and I had to check myself and pray
have to trust the Lord and let the Holy Spirit lead me

Isnt it beautiful, when my thoughts to do wrong was there, the Holy Spirit led me to do the right things

[kin]

Dear Diary,
How do I get closer to God everyday ?

Read this online.

1. Sing to God a new song.
Psalm 40:3 says, “He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.”
The hardest time of the day for getting closer to God is first thing in the morning.

For some reason, upon awakening is when every negative thought invades the mind. As soon as you open your eyes, begin by singing a song to God. Singing a new song to God will wipe out every negative, depressing thought.

2. Pray – Start each day by saying good morning to God.

Psalm 5:3 says, “I lay my requests before you Lord in the morning, and I wait in hopeful expectation.”

Acknowledging God in the morning is a great way to draw closer to Him and it establishes a relationship that remains throughout the day.

As you pray to God your urgent requests, you will wait expectantly for His answers. Realizing that God wants to bless you with the desire of your heart ..will keep you focused on Him as you wait.

3. Quote scripture, God’s word, to put God in the center of your heart and mind.

Psalm 119:11 states, “Thy Word have I hid in my heart, that I might sin against God.”
Memorizing scripture for daily devotions is a great way to get closer to God.
Choose one scripture to meditate on.

Psalm 51:10 says, “Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me.”

This is the perfect prayer request to start off any day.
Ask God to mould you into the person He wants you to be.
As you choose to live right, you will get closer to God.

4. Worship God throughout the day to keep you close to Him.

Psalm 22:3 says, “God inhabits the praises of His people.”

When we sing worship songs to God, He is there.

Get closer to God by worshiping Him.
Psalm 95:6 says, “Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker; for He is our God and we are the people of His pasture, the flock under His care.”

5. Celebrate communion with others as a way to get closer to God. Take the elements, the bread and the cup, in remembrance of what God did for you when he sent His son Jesus to die on the cross for your sins.

Communion is done in fellowship with other believers as a reminder of God’s love.

6. Enter church, or God’s house, gets you closer to Him.
Hebrews 10:25 says, “Do not forsake the gathering of yourselves together as some are in the habit of doing.”
Coming together in unity with other believers invites God’s presence.
Matthew 18:20 says,
“For where two or three come together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”

If you want to get closer to God, get closer to others. Unity among believers is powerful and effective.

7. Observe nature as a powerful way to get closer to God.
Sit by a running stream or climb the highest mountain. Watch the ocean tide or sit in the midst of a forest.
Psalm 95:4,5 says, “In His hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to Him. The sea is His, for he made it, and His hands formed the dry land.” God created everything and nature is a representation of His glory, His splendor and His beauty.

If you want to get closer to God, get closer to His creation.

8. Remember that God speaks to everyone differently.
He speaks to some of us through music/song, nature, art, reading, listening, talking and many other ways.
Whatever you do, do it for our amazing, loving, merciful, beautiful God.

[kin]

Dear diary,

More than 10 years ago, my first recovery mentor told me
“I was an irresponsible man but I can do responsible things.”

I thought I understood what he says
When I do it, something was always wrong somewhere , I could not stay responsible.

In the past, I always knew it was wrong to be irresponsible, I wanted to be responsible, but I keep doing the wrong things.

Now I follow God’s word, and became the irresponsible man who started to do responsible things.

My friend could have told me that he was an irresponsible man.
God help change him and help him perform responsible deeds.

He wanted to tell me God says “I am the way” and not “I show you the way” or there is other way”
He keep hinting to me 10 years ago.

Was it too late for me to understand them now?

I was just grateful I did, I could have struggle with recovery for the rest of my life until the day I die
I am actually enjoying recovery now, of course some days are tough,
Let’s rejoice in suffering in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen!

[kin]

1 Corinthians 6:19

19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God

No. 124 clean days

[kin]

Dear diary,
Now I learnt that there is nothing wrong with money
It was my love of money that is evil

When did money loses its grip on me and become just another thing that is not everything in my life?
It was only after I came to know God and listens to his Word one day at a time.

Money suddenly lost the kind of power it used to have on me and no longer trigger me like it used to for months now
Glory to God!

God have given me love, provided me a sense of security and brought freedom into my life

Amen!

[kin]

Dear diary,
It would be a lie if I do not have any worries now and life was perfect.
Fact is “ I was worried about 2 things now.”
1. I worry that I cannot manage with the workload working alone on the job ( I am covering the job of 2 or 3 now compare to last year this time )
2. I worry that I don’t know what to do when there is a job to do ( there are new changes and new services, when I am working alone, there is no one to teach me what to do. )

What I was taught?
It is testing my faith in God.
If my faith is strong, I need not worry.

What do I plan to do ?
I cannot see the future, but I will continue to have faith on God.
Am sure all will be fine in the end.
I am made of fresh, yes, I do get worried.

What did I learn from reading ?
Do not base my decision on past experience, it can be wrong if it was not base upon all the scriptures ?
In the past, when I get upset, I cannot be still, it is a fight or flee situation for me.
I will either fix the thing or I will leave the thing, it is extreme, nothing in between.
I resign from the job many times in the past.

What do I intend to do ?
Leave it to the Higher Power to fix the situation.
I will not made the decision.
Will be patience, be still and watch the situation progress or unfold. This is new to me. I will be teachable and willing.

[kin]

Thursday is turning into a day I bring my 85 years old mum out to new places for food and shopping

it is turning into a weekly event – 3rd week now

I am very grateful to God for helping me to do this

The old me don’t do such a thing week in week out
I gladly accept the new me, it is a joy for mum and me

[kin]

Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you will go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you’ve faced. All the battles you have won. All the fears you’ve overcome.

[Author]

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