[kin]

Hi risingphoenix,

Thinking of you today.

Looking forward to your next post.

[kin]

Hi marcus,

You have not updated your journal since 21st Dec 2023
I really hope you are keeping yourself safe in this holiday season.

Cheers!

[kin]

This journal is helping me to be consistent and accountable.
It is helping me to maintain my honesty and integrity.
One day at a time.

I am not going to purposely leave some loopholes in my recovery.
I have removed the risk today.
I am going to stay away from danger today.
I am going to stick to the gamble free plan all the way to the end today.

I have received a sum of money yesterday
It was enough to pay off all my installments for next month today.

I only need to stay gamble free today.
Tomorrow, I do the same.
One day at a time.

[kin]

Hi jvr3419,

This is a good post.

Thank you.

[kin]

I need to remove any risk today.
I need to stay away from danger today.
I need to stick to the gamble free plan all the way to the end today.

Tomorrow, I do the same.
One day at a time.

[kin]

Hi sarah,

Thank you for the update.
Your payday is only a few days away.
What are your plan to protect yourself from gambling?

[kin]

Hi Yoyo

Thank you for sharing.

Looking forward to your next post!

[kin]

I am not a medical professional or addiction counsellor so I do not know what hit me and why it happened when it happens to me.

I was a compulsive gambler. I have struggle with the same problem for more than 30 years.

I will try to describe what happen to me. I was usually gamble free for a period of 6 months to a year. One day, I just simply failed and cannot resist a temptation, an urge, or an impulse to gamble after many gamble-free days.

I suddenly decide to gamble on that day. I was impulsive when I decide to go ahead with the first bet because I did not consider the harmful consequences and heavy price of gambling.

I did not believe it will happen to me. I forget how this enemy has destroyed me many times and caused me great pain and suffering.

My mind tells me one more time; I know what I am doing.
I can control myself; I will not gamble uncontrollably.
I did not believe I will get into trouble after getting into trouble so many times.

The uncontrollable and irresistible urge or compulsion to carry on gambling only happen to me after a period of continue gambling.

It was progressive. At some point, I suddenly cannot stop gambling and gamble compulsively.

First bet, Next bet, Last bet, One more time, each has destroyed me and send me into a very dark place.

Today I try to keep my problem manageable and under control by staying gamble free.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.

[kin]

I suffer from impulse control disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder, I suffer from impulsive and compulsive behaviors. I was a compulsive gambler.

If I know it was wrong and still go ahead to place the first bet. I was disobedient, willful, unremorseful and unrepentant.

I refuse to follow law and order.
I was determine to do what I want to do even if they are wrong
I was not sorry
I did not feel any regret or guilt.

When my self-will is running riot in my life
I will lose control of my mind and behavior
The price is heavy
I will face a serious consequence
I need mercy, forgiveness and help to bring back the law and order into my life.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.

[kin]

When life gives you a second chance, don’t take it for granted!
Don’t waste the chance, don’t repeat the mistake!

[kin]

Hi sarahluna,

Connecting with the active people in here certainly helps a lot. The support and encouragement we receive from them was a constant reminder not to press the self-destruction button.

We are all work in progress and under construction.

[kin]

Dear God, on this Christmas Eve, we want to think about the real reason for this happy season: Jesus’ birth. We want our hearts to be ready so we can truly enjoy celebrating Jesus’ birthday and the peace and joy He came to give us. We want to give You a happy heart that wants to obey You, one that loves You and others. In Jesus name, Amen.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.

[kin]

Today I feel the pain of my savior who pay for my sin.
My savior takes the punishment on my behalf.

Can you see how I destroy the hard earned saving of those people who have help me.
They are punish for something I did.

Yet I can walk away from them. I can sell them so I can gamble again.
This is the power of the enemy; evil and wicked.

Dear Heavenly Father, I am a sinner, have mercy on me.
I want to give up my ways, I want to be with you.
In Jesus Christ almighty name. Amen.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.

[kin]

I may have handover all my money to someone for safekeeping, it is still not foolproof and cannot guaranteed my gamble free day.

Do not be shock, it can still go wrong!

One day I may not be able to resist the temptation, it is so quick and convenient to borrow money nowadays. I can borrow to gamble. After I have lost everything, I simply borrow some more to gamble. I only stop gambling after I have lost everything and run out of places to borrow money.

It is so important for me to stay focus today.
I need to remove any risk today.
I need to stay away from danger today.
Tomorrow I do the same.
One day at a time.

I must not start borrowing money to gamble.
I must do everything to protect myself from not borrowing money to gamble on the first time.
I know that once I start borrowing to gamble, I cannot stop borrowing to gamble again and again.

If you are like me, you will have the same problem.

[kin]

I was reminded today to put my priority in the right place.
I must not lose the things I have chasing after the things I do not have.

I must remember to be grateful and thankful today
I do not have much but they are enough

there are people who are suffering in hunger
all they want is just bread
meat is a luxury for them.

there are people who are homeless
all they want is something to cover their heads
something to protect them from the sun and rain
comfort is a luxury for them.

If I do not want to lose my recovery
I must protect my recovery today

Tomorrow, I do the same.
One day at a time.

Repent before it is too late
Gambling is not a solution to my problem.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.

[Author]

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