[kin]

The Health Consequences of Too Much Adrenaline

Adrenaline is known as the fight-or-flight hormone.
This means people can be quick to anger, have short fuses, experience road rage and wind up in anger management classes.
Very often excess anger leads to the need to drink too much or use drugs or smoke excessively, just to “chill out”.
It is probably safe to say that the majority of people in AA have excess adrenaline.

[kin]

I forget to let go of self-will

and follow God ‘s will

I become more self centered and less God centered.

When things is not going my way, I did not let go, walk away, and let God.

My downfall in recovery happen when I have my hands on the steering wheel for many years.
My success in recovery only happen when I trust God completely that he will provide sufficient. God can do for me what I cannot do for myself.

Things happen in God’s timing, not mine.

I must be patient and trust God.

Otherwise I am heading for my downfall.

[kin]

Dear diary,
I didn’t understand what was really happening previously
I only knew the outcome was a familiar one nobody wanted
How many times have I regretted such decisions after it has happen
Why can’t I manage these kind of situations like any normal person

I could not even describe my feeling properly until now
I realized that I was first hurt by something I heard or see that happen to me.

My reaction was describe as an aggressive one from the reading, but a natural one, either I fight back or I flee . I didn’t know anger or dangerous situation releases adrenaline

My reaction was so quick
I say and do things I regretted later
It was due to the adrenaline rush
It speed up the body system which is a natural body defence mechanism

This awareness gives me hope now
When there is stress and no actual danger, and I am feeling restless and irritable, it was because the adrenaline causes the body to release glucose, raising blood sugar, and giving the body energy that has no outlet.
or
Prolonged and heightened levels of the hormone can put enormous pressure on the heart muscle and high levels of adrenaline in the blood can lead to insomnia and jittery nerves, and are often an indicator of chronic stress
I read that I can now exercise to use up these extra energy.
Now I must learn to recognize the time when I am hurt, so that I will be prepared for what is coming. Now I know it is not unexpected, my defence mechanism will be triggered, I will have a strong and powerful feeling to fight back or flee, it has overwhelmed me many times in the past.

I read that I should take a step back now, until I regain my calmness ad composure, if I rush to fix it, I am falling for the same trap.

It is key that I understand the hurt feelings that underlie the anger. The hurt of not getting what I want is about recovering from frustration and learning to delay gratification.

There was stress from not getting what I want in the past, and there was never a real danger many times but my aggressive reaction of fighting back just failed me everytime. It has caused me one too many regrets.
I should have been trained to take a step back and not fight back naturally.
When I feel frustration, I need to understand what is happening, and potential anger will melt away and solution can be found more patiently.
Soothing words offer comfort while limit setting with acceptance.
One more time, then it is time to “ walk away “ until next time. Such empathy is more likely to minimize anger and facilitate cooperation. The anger goes away.
On the contrary, if we force ourselves to walk away suddenly and unexpectedly without acceptance and letting go, It is more likely to aggravate frustration and anger, the anger remains.
Empathy for the hurt feelings and patient are always wiser than getting into a meaningless fight.

Am I thankful for the discovery and possible cause with regards to my restless and irritable days or period of insomnia and jittery nerve?
I was relieved to know that it has something to do with adrenaline.
It just give me one less reason to shift blame to other things etc. withdrawal symptoms, mood swings
I was wrong to find relief in alcohol or slot machine., it was insanity.
I can now take the advice to exercise and use up the excess energy or I can see a doctor for the insomnia.

[kin]

Adrenaline
Adrenaline is a hormone produced by the adrenal glands during high stress or exciting situations.
This powerful hormone is part of the human body’s acute stress response system, also called the “fight or flight” response.
It works by stimulating the heart rate, contracting blood vessels, and dilating air passages, all of which work to increase blood flow to the muscles and oxygen to the lungs.
The Adrenal Glands
The adrenal glands are found directly above the kidneys in the human body, and are roughly 3 inches (7.62 cm) in length.
The Fight or Flight Response
The term “fight or flight” is often used to characterize the body’s reaction to very stressful situations.
It is an evolutionary adaptation that allows the body to react to danger quickly.
Dilated air passages, for example, allow the body to get more oxygen into the lungs quickly, increasing physical performance for short bursts of time.
The blood vessels contract in most of the body, which redirects the blood toward the heart, lungs, and major muscle groups to help fuel the reaction.
When a person encounters a potentially dangerous situation, the hypothalamus in the brain signals the adrenal glands to release adrenaline and other hormones directly into the bloodstream.
The body’s systems react to these hormones within seconds, giving the person a nearly instant physical boost.
Strength and speed both increase, while the body’s ability to feel pain decreases.
This hormonal surge is often referred to as an “adrenaline rush.”
Side Effects
In addition to a noticeable increase in strength and performance, this hormone typically causes heightened awareness and increased respiration.
When there is stress but no actual danger, a person can be left feeling restless and irritable.
This is partly because adrenaline causes the body to release glucose, raising blood sugar, and giving the body energy that has no outlet.
Work Out
Many people find it beneficial to “work off” the adrenaline rush after a particularly stressful situation.
In the past, people handled this naturally through fighting or other physical exertion, but in the modern world, high-stress situations often arise that involve little physical activity.
Exercise can use up this extra energy.
Though adrenaline can play a key role in the body’s survival, it can also cause detrimental effects over time.
Prolonged and heightened levels of the hormone can put enormous pressure on the heart muscle and can, in some cases, cause heart failure. Additionally, it may cause the hippocampus to shrink.
High levels of adrenaline in the blood can lead to insomnia and jittery nerves, and are often an indicator of chronic stress.

I have no explanation and I hope these explain why I was feeling restless and irritable for days at times and why I am suffering from insomnia for days at times when there was no traumatic event happening in my life.

[kin]

In the end, as we teach ourselves to cope with anger, we are facilitating maturation.
Feelings of anger in response to facing frustration, hurt and conflict are a part of everyday life.
Teaching ourselves to have empathy for others, to devise win-win solutions, and rely on “reason over aggression” keeps our toolbox open and ever-growing.
As we face our own limitations and strive to resolve conflict or resolve relational differences,
we are practicing our own ability to transform feelings of hurt or anger to feelings of resolve or peace.
In this manner we exercise our capacity for reason over our “fight or flight” response.

[kin]

Moving From Conflict to Win/Win
No matter what the age and developmental stage, there are four steps necessary to move from feelings of hurt and anger to conflict resolution.
These steps are applicable whether we are managing ourselves or others.
Simply resorting to “time out,” punishing, or withholding does not teach skills in conflict resolution, which requires empathy, communication skills and capacity for compromise.

Step 1. Step back and separate emotionally.
By stepping back we can better reflect on what is happening,
what feelings are involved and what needs are not being met.
When we manage others of any age in conflict, our job is to help them step back.
Emotional reactivity or escalation may end the conflict abruptly or even fuel the flames. Wait and breathe until you can respond with reason.

Step 2. Listen to each perspective without alliance or bias to either “side.”
This takes objectivity and needs to be done by a person who is capable of objectivity.
If it is you, offer empathy for yourself, “mom and me is not in a good mood and both of us are really fed up; let’s take a step back first and find some solutions that work for both of us another time – delay gratification.”

Step 3. Offer empathy and validation to each “side.”
Often there is no “right versus wrong.”
But both parties feel justified, or “right,” from their perspective.
Each party needs to be affirmed prior to correction or negotiation.
Remember, without empathy for the “hurt” feelings, it is next to impossible to move to compromise and problem solving, which involves giving.

Step 4. Find a win/win solution.
Find, or help the other person find, a solution that works for both parties. When an argument takes place and feelings are hurt, making amends is usually about each party recognizing the other’s needs.

When setting limits, it is not always about win/win; we can offer validation and empathy as well as a solution.

If a child pines after a toy when shopping, we can offer empathy while limit-setting: “I know you would like this toy for yourself. Remember mommy said we are buying for your friend’s birthday this time. I’ll put it on your wish list.”

For toddlers, we might offer a “treat” while we shop to satisfy their yearnings.

To a 14-year-old, we may have to say “you got an offer to go to the Redskins, but you have a previous obligation to go to your friend’s hockey game…how frustrating for you…maybe next time.”
He may still be disappointed and may even try to put it on you. “I know you are mad about not getting to go; you are trying to attack me, but it is not about me.”
By this age, we can put the accountability back in his lap and step out of it.

Most well adjusted kids will work it through and let it go.

Empathy for the hurt feelings and patience are always wiser than lecturing, scolding or getting into a meaningless fight

[kin]

Transforming Anger
Transforming feelings of hurt, such as frustration and anger is mostly about comfort. We need to divert our attention, to calm down.
We need to be empathy to resolve conflict.
We must set limits to promote maturity, it will help us cope with anger more constructively.
Setting limits, however, can provoke anger and frustration. At such times, we may need to ignore and calmly tolerate the emotions, allowing ourselves to calm down
It is key that we understand the hurt feelings that underlie the anger.

The hurt about not getting our way is about recovering from frustration and learning to delay gratification, which is part of maturing.
Although we have been told “no,”
Limit setting can be achieved with calm, kind firmness.
There is no need for harshness.
Sympathy and empathy make limit setting much easier.
It is ok, we can walk away now, and come back another time.
It is ok, no need to allow our aggression to prevails over reason, there is no need to fight back or flight or seek instant gratification. It is time to take a step back, regain our calmness and patient, delay gratification, there is no need to rush.

Physical pursuits can be good outlets for feelings of stress or frustration.
The ability to respond with humor represents cognitive growth,using humor to tease or to defend against feelings of hurt is a fabulous psychological defense.
Ideally we want to resort to complimentary words and not sarcastic words.
Compromising to avoid further conflict or talking with a friend who will certainly “be on your side,” are effective means of melting anger away.
Drawing and journaling also transform feelings of hurt, frustration and anger.

Provoking irrational fights with family members is another favorite means of coping with overwhelming feelings of frustration and anxiety about facing greater responsibility and accountability.
The temptation to resort to maladaptive coping, such as using cigarettes, drugs, gambling or alcohol is great but with more practices, one can gained sufficient confidence and competence, we will learn how to compromise, and, when necessary, how to fight for what is right.

[kin]

Anger is a biological response to all kinds and degrees of frustration or hurt.
Anger might speak to unmet needs or to feeling vulnerable.
When we feel frustration, we need understanding before we can cooperate or compromise.
When we offer or receive understanding, potential feelings of anger melt away and solutions can more easily be found.
Soothing words offer comfort while limit setting, One more time, then it is time to say ‘goodbye’ until next time!” Such empathy is more likely to minimize anger and facilitate cooperation
“That’s it! Time to go! If you scream like that!” This response is far more likely to aggravate frustration and anger.

[kin]

Anger is a signal, and without anger, we cannot survive.
Anger informs us that our well-being is threatened or that harm has occurred.

When we feel angry, our primitive “old brain” releases adrenaline –
to enable us to “fight or take flight” in defense against whatever has threatened us.

Our “fight or flight” defense –
Our anger wakes us up to tell us it is time to cope.
It may be time to step back, refuel or take charge.
Luckily, our “new brain,” located in the frontal lobe, has the capacity to reason and problem solve in response to our anger signals.
We can develop this ability to cope with angry feelings. It increases our ability to tolerate frustration and to deal more adaptively with feelings of hurt.
When “aggression” prevails over reason, fight or flight reaction wins. –
Naturally more often the case, we hit back, or scream
rather than show empathy or “use words.”

First Comes Hurt
To understand and manage angry feelings and aggressive behavior,
we must first recognize and remember that anger comes from hurt.

Aggression
Aggression is the behavioral response –
the acting on the hurt and anger.
Empathy is the curative response that eases the hurt so we can shore up our coping defenses.

[kin]

What should I do when I feel frustrated and hurt ?

I start to google for an answer

am glad to read them

It describe what happen to me when I don’t know what is happening

and I change some content to describe my problem.

[kin]

Dear diary,

I didn’t expected this good year to end up addressing this situation when I am feeling frustrated and hurt, impulsive and impatient.

It has come to the surface now.

frustrated and angry because I feel hurt and not contented. I want it my way, but it did not turn out according to my expectation. I feel that I deserve better. ( so obvious, my feelings was selfish and self seeking), I felt that the glass is half empty.

why did I think that everything must go according to my way?

Is it unrealistic self expectation

the problem is not about others, the big problem was me!

Over the years, I have confrontational situations with mum, my colleagues and superior at home and at work.

it was like pealing the onion skin now, my problem have come to the surface

The outcome would be different if I know how to stay calm and still when I am feeling frustrated and hurt at people, places and things. There is no need to be confrontational or have silent protest.

I wasn’t able to stay calm and still, or stay calm and walk away.

what happen to my gratitude and contented feeling when I am feeling frustrated and hurt? what happen to that half full glass?

I cannot not do it for myself in the past. I believe God can help me do things I could not do for myself. I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Thank you God.

[kin]

Dear diary,

I admitted that I am powerless over my tired mind, when that happen, I become very frustrated and hurt, very impulsive and impatient easily. It makes my life totally unmanageable.

I don’t know how to stay calm when I was frustrated and hurt.

When I get frustrated and hurt, I become careless and irresponsible and not mindful of my situation.

Mostly importantly I can forget about all the good work put in over many months, I start to lose discipline and become careless.

I start to lose my awareness, there was no more contentment or gratitude feelings for all that was achieve, slow and safe is not good enough.

I find it hard to treasure what I have. I will put myself in big risk and jeopardize losing everything.

I lose the ability to live in the present moment. When that happens, I am lead by my emotion and feelings.

During this time,” I don’t care about anything or anyone” and become very self centered, irresponsible, indiscipline and selfish.

I did not try to control my anger, I allow my anger the right to act out irresponsibly.

I only want to fix the situation when there is no need. That was the biggest mistake every times.

This is how I turn a safe situation into a dangerous one and end up with nothing every single time.

The discipline in the past was gone.

I have a safer alternative but I did not want to consider or use it. I find it too slow and tiring.

I am too impatient to consider a very slow and safe way to repair the situation. I want an instant gratification, I want it now.

My false feelings are not real and not the most important thing in my life and I have a better choice but unfortunately, I forget. I could have walk away from it. I could have move away to a safer place, or I can return when the situation is safer. I didn’t.

In another words, I did not want to place my love ones and personal safety as my top priority.

Fixing my hurt feeling and frustration takes center stage even at the expense of putting everyone in big risk.

I simply did not care anymore except correcting my anger.

I should not focus on these false feeling, they are dangerous situation to me.

Many times these decisions are impulsive, fast and sudden but the damage is long term.

It has happen time and time again in many areas of my life.

Knowing how to walk away when I get hurt or frustrated is a strength in the right situation

or

staying calm and keeping still is another strength at the right moment.

These strength keep me safe.

[kin]

Dated 22 November 2015 Sunday
Dear diary,
I do not have very high mindfulness and awareness to stop making decision when I am mentally very tired.
This can lead to bad consequences and regrets.
1. The tired mind sounded so convincing, and rational to me to do it when I check myself
2. The justification to go ahead sounded so right when they are not.
3. Letting go of control completely and let God becomes a challenge during this time for me when I start to focus and listen to my tired mind and not God.

It amazes me how my tired mind thinks it is ok and do not care too much about bad consequences, it is just very careless and irresponsible..
Look like a bad decision to trust a tired mind to do the checking
Best to do nothing now when the mind is tired and do the check when the mind is well rested
I should know better than to trust and let a tired mind take control of the final outcome good or bad.

[kin]

Dear diary,
I thought I had to do something to remind myself that I am a recovering addict, and visited a drop in centre for recovering addict yesterday.
Sat in a 12 steps recovery program workshop, the facilitator say that addicts are very inconsiderate people; they did not let others have the chance to make mistakes, respecting other’s rights and freedom to say or do wrongs .
I check the dictionary
Being considerate means showing kindly awareness or regard for another’s feelings and circumstances…
Being inconsiderate means acting without due regard for the rights or feeling of others.
Wow! What an awakening.
I have heard the same facilitator taught the same thing before but I did not get the message. I heard it and forget last time. This time, I am going to update it in my journal here.

When I was triggered by my mum yelling, it shows that I have a problem, I was inconsiderate. I didn’t allow my mum to yell at me, I feel that it was wrong for her to yell at me.
When I was affected by colleague who is lazy and not doing their work, I was inconsiderate, I didn’t give them the right to be lazy and irresponsible. The problem is not them, the real problem is me. Understanding this give me a chance to work on myself.

Grateful I was safe by the Grace of God yesterday.

[kin]

Dear diary,
Like I say many times in here, my recovery was not perfect.
At 10pm last night, I wanted to watch the news report on Paris, I switched the TV channel, it was the first time I took control of the TV for the day, I never expected my 85 years old mum to yell at me to keep the volume down.
The yelling was a big trigger to me, I felt very unhappy and angry, but I kept quiet and walk away, got changed and leave the house immediately. I wanted to grab some drinks to numb myself, if I had not ban myself, I would have love to use the slot machine to kill a few hours..
Many things crossed my mind, it brings back many familiar painful and unhappy feelings inside me, I can feel that familiar feeling of deep resentment with my mum going as far back as 30 years ago.
Last night, I was very angry, I remember many times 30 years ago when I was successful, she was always saying things that was sharp, painful and triggering. I could not manage the pain and it sabotage me, I press the self-destructive button, I really spend a lot of money numbing myself, leaving home looking for relief and comfort in all the wrong places.
Today, I thought maybe she don’t know how to cope with me when I am doing well. In recovery, they call these people co-dependent, they are so used to us dependent on them for everything, and when we are no more dependent on them, they are suddenly lost, after so many years, it has become a habit for her but I cannot stand any unreasonable yelling.
I ask myself, am I going to destroy my hard earned sobriety because of this. Am I going to allow it to happen, I am now in automatic and compulsive mode, I am already in the process of acting out but It seem to have slow down because of my recovery, that saves me.
At 10pm, only the drinking holes and gambling joints are open for business, they are the top 2 things to do in my list but my self- exclusion ban from the casino and slot machine joints limit my choices to one. While I am deciding in my head what to do, I am already on the way and moving.
I hear a clear message inside my head, the devil is using my mum to attack me, it know and is attacking my weakness, the devil is working very hard and making sure I fall.
On the other hand, I hear another message, I have changed in many areas and no longer the same person from the past anymore, I have a God now who walk beside me, I am no more alone. I wants to follow Christ, am I going to follow my self-will on this night, the answer was an obvious one.
I love a good body massage, and it will kill an hour or two, who doesn’t love to pamper themselves, it is what I like and want to do. With my small earning now, it is a very costly and not advisable thing to do. On top of that, it is likely to end with an indecent offer. This is what I want to do but when I check myself, am I pursuing a selfish and self-seeking way, the answer was an obvious one.
I had not made up mind yet, but I do have another barrier in the bag I learn and pick up from other recovering person, I took a bus ride to nowhere. When I reach the other end, I drop off the bus and stand in the middle of no-where. By this time, I have decided and made up my mind what to do. It was time to go home and I can watch some biblical youtube clips when I reach home. After I got on another bus and reach home, I have killed 2.5 hours. I didn’t say anything to mum when I reach home, I just go straight to my room and surf the net, before the movie end, I fell asleep.
Am I feeding my addiction or my recovery?
The devil was working very hard, the resentment feelings and voice was replaying in my head and growing stronger every time I think about it. In between there is another voice telling me my Lord is with me, have no fear, I will be fine, I remember to talk to God how I feel and pray. God knows what is on my mind, I pray to God to lead me to do the right thing.
I woke up today, all the resentful and negative feeling I had yesterday has disappear. I was clean for another day.
Jesus Christ was my savior. Thank you God.

[Author]

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