[kin]

Dear diary

We came to know God’s infinite greatness and our own unworthiness before him.

Here are some reasons why we should humble ourselves before God and some suggestions on how to do it.

Why we should humble ourselves
1. Because Christ was humble and we should imitate him.
2. “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.” James 4:10
3. Because “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6). We shouldn’t need any more reasons than this. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want God resisting me and I need all the grace I can get.
4. Because there is safety in humility. Pride comes before a fall ? the humble are less likely to fall, and if they do they don’t have as far to fall.

How to humble ourselves
1. Contemplate the infinite greatness of God
2. Consider your innumerable sins against God and the unbelievable mercy he’s poured out on you
3. Contemplate your human frailty. Your every breath and heartbeat, your eyes, ears, strength, and mental health are all from God. He could remove them at any time.
4. Contemplate your complete inability to control a single thing in this life.
5.Realize that every good thing, talent and gift you have is a gift from God which he could remove at any time.
6.Contemplate that if God did not keep you from sin you’d plunge headlong into it
7. Confess your sins and temptations to God and others
8. Ask forgiveness of those you sin against, even if they sinned against you first. Even if they don’t ask your forgiveness in return.
9.Be quick to listen and slow to share your own opinions
10.Don’t be so sure you’re right all the time
11. Consider that there are multitudes far more gifted and godly than you are
12.Cultivate thankfulness
13. Contemplate your many areas of weakness ? share them with others
14. Realize you’re dispensable. If you died today, things would go on just fine without you.
15.Realize that the things that bother you about others may be things you do as well
16.Invite constructive criticism.
17.Serve others. Wash others’ feet. Take on lowly jobs in your church.
18.Take an interest in others. Consider others more important than yourself.
19.Pray. Prayer is an act of dependence and humility.
20.Ask for help, wisdom and prayer from others.
21.When others compliment you, thank them, then give all the glory to God in silent prayer.
22.Rejoice when others are promoted, praised or honored.

What would you add?
Probably the most important one:

Nothing should humble us more than the perfect, sinless, Son of God willingly pouring out his life to rescue those who hated him and rebelled against him.

[kin]

Dear diary
Last year I was watching and arresting my selfish, self-centered and self-seeking ways by giving up my self-will and seeking God’s will.
This year I want to learn to be meek and humble to arrest my pride, haughtiness and egoism.

Why should people be meek and humble?
What problems are caused by pride, arrogance, ego, self-exaltation, haughtiness, and self-will?
How many times in the past did I believe that I was different from the other problem gamblers, I can be more careful, and not greedy, and I will not lose my self-control this time?
How many times in the past did I believe that I was good, skillful and experience in gambling?
How many times in the past did I believe that I can be careful and will not lose my self-control in gambling?
How many times did I choose to remember all my big winnings and feeling I could do it again?
Am I still happy and very proud of my big winning when I talk about them?
Do I feel a sense of great achievement thinking about them?
Introduction:
Numbers 12:3 – Moses was very meek, above all men on face of the earth.
Matthew 11:29,30 – Jesus said, “I am meek and lowly in heart.”

Other verses emphasize the importance of these qualities
Matthew 5:5 – Blessed are the meek (gentle – NKJV), for they shall inherit the earth. Jesus declares a “blessing” (happiness) on those who are meek.

Galatians 5:22,23 – Meekness is one of the fruits of the Spirit – qualities that we must possess if we are led by the Spirit.

Proverbs 16:18,19 – Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. It is better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly.

If we seek to be happy, to be led by the Spirit, to avoid destruction, and to be like great people such as Moses and Jesus, we need to possess meekness and humility.

It is the purpose of this lesson to study these qualities,

what they are, and how they will affect our lives.

Definitions:
Meekness
Many feel that “meek” – quiet, submissive and “gentleness,” implies weakness.

meekness is an attitude or quality of heart [1 Peter 3:4] whereby a person willingly accepts and submits without resistance to the will and desires of someone else.

The meek person is not self-willed – not continually concerned with self, his own ways, ideas, and wishes.

He is willing to put himself in second place and submit himself to achieve what is good for others.

Meekness is the opposite of self-will, self-interest, and self-assertiveness.

This is a sign, not of weakness of character (as some think), but of strength. It requires great self-control to submit to others.

Humility

This is an attitude or quality of mind [Acts 20:19] whereby a person holds low esteem or opinion of his own goodness and importance.
Spiritually, one behave in a way that belittle himself because he realizes his sinfulness and therefore he is willing to depend on God to meet His needs.
It is the opposite of pride, haughtiness, and self-exaltation.

Pride – a feeling that you are more important or better than other people
Haughtiness – showing the insulting attitude of people who think they are better and smarter than other people
Egoism – an excessive sense of self-importance

[kin]

Self-will causes us to act / to the exclusion of any considerations / other than what we want.
We ignore the needs and feelings of others.
We barrel through, stampeding over anyone who question our rights to do whatever we want.
We become tornadoes, whipping through the lives of family, friends and even strangers, totally unconscious of the path of destruction we have left behind.
If circumstances aren’t to our liking, we try to change them by any means necessary to achieve our aims.
We try to get our own way at all costs.
We are so busy aggressively pursuing our impulses that we completely lose touch with our conscience and God.

[kin]

First acknowledge the urge. Become acutely aware of it – how you feel and what is going on in your mind. Then say to yourself, “Oh, OK. I am now having an urge to gamble. Right now I want to gamble. Say to yourself “TOO BAD… I DON’T GAMBLE ANYMORE!”
• OK. So your urge to gamble is very strong. Again, acknowledge the urge and become aware of what is happening and say to yourself, “OK, maybe I’ll gamble in 10 minutes.” Wait 10 minutes. If the urge is still there, say to yourself, “OK, maybe I’ll gamble in another 10 minutes.” Then find something else to do for 10 minutes. If the urge persists, keep putting off gambling for 10-minutes stretches. Keep doing this. The urge to gamble will pass.

• Make believe your mind is a slide projector and the thoughts that enter your brain are slides. Go to a quiet place, close your eyes and CHANGE THE SLIDE! Refuse to entertain thoughts about gambling. Think about a family member, a loved one, your job, a pleasant activity – anything but gambling. You can do it if you quiet your mind and concentrate.
• Accept the fact that you cannot gamble safely. This may seem painfully obvious, but many GA members have reported relapsing after having debated mentally with themselves on this point. Among some of the common inner arguments: “It’ll be different this time,” “I’m not that bad yet,” “I’ll quit once I get even,” and “I’m due.” Acceptance is one of the key components of the GA program.

• Say the Serenity Prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Repeat the prayer until the urge dissipates. A quieting of the mind will quiet the urge to gamble.
• Work Recovery Steps Two and Three. Envision yourself giving the urge to gamble to a Higher Power. Many GA members live by saying, “Let go and let God.”
• Go to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting regardless of the way you feel.
• Go to a quiet place and meditate. One simple method might be to close your eyes and stare out into space, visualizing the urge as a concrete object (it doesn’t matter what it is). Concentrate on it for several minutes. As you hold the object in you mind, visualize it breaking up into tiny pieces. Your urge to gamble will disintegrate with it.
• Telephone someone you trust. Tell him or her about your urge to gamble. Leaving cash, checks, and credit cards behind, go and meet with someone.
• Stop dwelling on the urge, start a new activity such as reading a book.
• Get outside of yourself. Go and help someone else.
• Think the bet all the way through and weigh the consequences. Most of us don’t consider the possibility that if we gamble, we might lose. Consider the possibility that you will lose. Think of all the other times you have lost.

• All forms of gambling are losing propositions. You will probably lose again. Will losing this money – in addition to money already lost and problems you already have – really make you feel better? And if you were to win, what would happen to the money? What has happened to all the money from past winnings? Where is it? What is the cause of your current financial situation? Isn’t it gambling that has put you into this predicament? Can’t you see yourself betting away any winnings – PLUS MORE? Isn’t it true that with a win you might pay off a few bills, yet set aside some cash for MORE GAMBLING? Isn’t it true that any winnings would be used as ammunition to keep waging the war of gambling?

• Write about the pros and cons of gambling in your life. Take a sheet of paper and divide it into two columns. On the left side, list all the good things that gambling has given you. On the right side, list all the bad things that have happened to you as a result of your gambling. Be through and honest. (Note: You may want to rate each item from 1 – 10 in terms of importance, with 10 being the most important and 1 being the least. When you’re through, total up each column and compare the score.) Once the list is complete, use this tool as a reminder of the effects of gambling in your life. Make a decision about how you will spend your free time instead of gambling.
• Make a decision that you won’t gamble JUST FOR TODAY!

Again, these are all merely suggestions.

Why not figure out the ones that will work best for you?

[kin]

Suggestions to Prevent Urges From Occurring
Attend Gamblers Anonymous meetings as often as needed, but at least once a week.
Become more involved in the Gamblers Anonymous Program. Take a Trusted Servant position.
Telephone other GA members on a regular basis.
Read and re-read the Gamblers Anonymous Combo Book. Many GA members have said, “Everything I need to stay away from a bet is right here in this little yellow book.”
Ask another Gamblers Anonymous member to be your sponsor.

Read and LIVE the Gamblers Anonymous Steps of Recovery. At first, it is OK to have a healthy skepticism about working the Steps. However, thousands of GA members have reported that the more they become involved in the Steps of Recovery, the less likely they are to gamble. It is suggested that you ask another GA member – preferably your sponsor – to help guide you through the Steps.
Don’t go in or near establishments where gambling is available, including web sites on the Internet. Shop in stores or supermarkets that are gambling-free or where gambling is out of sight.
Don’t look at anything that will remind you of gambling – for example, the sports or stock market sections of the newspaper, lottery tickets, racing programs, or advertisements for casinos or other forms of gambling.
Don’t associate with people who gamble. (This may mean curtailing relationships with friends or relatives.)
Avoid getting caught up in conversations about gambling.
Carry only the bare minimum amount of money that you need for the day. If possible, have your paycheck direct-deposited or put someone you trust in charge of your finances. Destroy your credit, debit, and ATM cards – anything that will put a barrier between you and excess cash.
Establish an anniversary date – that is, your first Gamblers Anonymous meeting after your last bet. Many GA members gain a healthy inner confidence from knowing that they have acquired the habit of not wagering over time.
Change your attitude. There is a world of difference in the statements “I have to stop gambling” and “I want to stop gambling.” Think about it. If you have to do anything, then you probably won’t want to.

Change your behavior. This is one of the most difficult tasks in all of human endeavors, let alone in the Gamblers Anonymous Program. However, it states in the yellow combo book that it is necessary for a compulsive gambler to bring about a character change in order to prevent a relapse. GA members have reported that character defects such as anger, impatience, laziness, self-ptiy, etc., have led them back to gambling. Replacing negative habits with healthy ones is vital for maintaining abstinence.
Consider getting your body into better physical condition. It has been said, “Bring the body and the mind will follow.” If compulsive gambling is a sickness of the mind, then it makes sense for a compulsive gambler to be in relatively good physical condition. Remember the saying: “Healthy body, healthy mind.”

[kin]

Dear P

Hope all is well with you, was always thinking of you.

blessings

Kin

[kin]

Matthew 14:27 > When the disciples saw Jesus walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out in fear.
Matthew 14:28 > Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!”
Matthew 14:29 > “Come,” Jesus said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.
Matthew 14:30 > But when Peter saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Matthew 14:31 > Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”

Below are some similar teaching
“Let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from beginning to end.” Hebrews 12:2 (GNT)
In dog obedience training, they put a dog at one end of a room and its master at the other end of the room, with a plate of food in the middle. And then the master calls the dog. If the dog eyes the food, he’s a goner; he’ll go straight for it. So they teach the dog to focus his eyes on the master. If the dog keeps his eyes on the master, he won’t be tempted. Instead of heading for the food, he’ll head straight to the master.
You need to keep your eyes on your master or you’ll get distracted. Get your mind off your circumstances and your problems and focus on God’s goodness to you in your past, his closeness to you in your present and his power to help you in your future.
Wolf Parable
An elder Apache was teaching his grandchildren about life.
He said to them ,”A fight is going on inside me; it is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, competition, superiority, and ego.

The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person too.”
They thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Grandpa simply replied, “The one you feed (focus).
Are you feeding your addiction or your recovery?

Dear diary
This is one of the most important teaching that has help me to stay gamble free in my recovery. When I stay focus on God, I was able to remain clean.
When I focus on my troubles, the casino or the money I had in the past, the urge and craving in me just snowball and grow stronger until I sink.
It’s been more than 2 years, it all started out as a suggestion by my sponsor but it has now become a part of my life, it has actually become easier over time.

[kin]

“I have made it to 4 months and paid off 7000 in dept. I will be out of dept in a year 1/2 now and that is my challenge and motivation for now. I feel the urgency every day and it brings up gambling thoughts all the time.”

Dear FG,

Good job on staying abstinence and repayment plan, if you can continue staying abstinence after the debts are fully paid up, you will enjoy a new kind of freedom.

Do you have any reservation to gamble, these can come back to haunt us, these self deceiving lies can be so real and convincing that it is ok to gamble, that this time will be different, I can afford the loss, I can gamble like a normal person.

This is a good time to prepare for the time when you have clear your debt in 18 months.

We admitted that we are powerless over our gambling and gambling had made our life unmanageable.

You have 18 months to learn how to stay gambling free when you are debt free. It can give you the breakthrough you always wanted.

The new found joy and freedom is worth it!

[kin]

What am I afraid of with the concept of surrender or no more gambling for me, if there is any?

What convinces me I can’t gamble successfully anymore?

Do I accept that I will never regain control, even after a long period of abstinence or long period of not gambling.

Can I begin my recovery without stopping gambling completely?

What would my life be like if I stop gambling completely?

Can I continue my recovery without complete surrender?

[kin]

“The night out I had last week with my husband and son cost one tenth of what it would have cost me for a few hours in the casino ”

I am so happy and proud of your progress in recovery, so glad you have found a life outside gambling.

[kin]

Dear diary
I am not letting the devil shake me, it got my nerve but I planned to go all the way to the end.
I felt the heavy burden and responsibilities to help another stranger or gambler, I was so afraid I cannot do my job well, the feeling can overwhelm me and I don’t like it one bit. I was afraid this feeling will send me back to gambling and another rock bottom, I was concern about my well being, look like it was a fight inside me between the devil of my self-centeredness and love.

I don’t want to do it but I still did it by letting go of my self-will and let God.

I let the day unfold and reveal itself.

I believe in The Promises. I believe that when I finish my 12th steps, I will have a clearer picture of the part about carrying the message to another suffering gambler.

It is God’s timing, not mine.

Remarks:
I was doing my step work Q&A in wecare for the first time on 15th Feb 2016, there was a GA meetings in the evening, I decided to join them for the first time after a long time.
The chair person actually did not show up, and the person taking over to chair the meeting was late for half an hour.
There are 9 of us, I was the most experience there, so I ended up chairing the meeting.
It was not part of my plan, my timing. I don’t enjoy chairing at all.
I still have the issue of trying to be perfect in everything I do and feeling responsible for the pain and suffering, instead of carrying the message, I may carry the addict.
After the meeting I felt anxious and stress. It is really a slippery situation for me. In the old days, I don’t know how to cope with these feelings, I would have drank alcohol to calm my nerve.

[kin]

Dear diary
It is a real joy working my recovery now, everything is clearer.
I can see myself having the breakthrough I want, I was able to give my all to my family now, it was something I had always wanted to do but could not do in the past due to my self-centered, selfish and self-seeking behaviors.
It is a strange feeling, I can see myself doing more and more selfless loving acts for my family now but I can still catch myself speaking like the old me at times when I was with friends and colleagues. I can still see that same destructive person still alive inside me even though I did not act out in destructive ways. This is a concern because I know that if I only stop gambling but everything about me did not change, it will send me back to gambling in the end.
I am real happy and grateful that there was improvement and change in my behaviors and life but at the same time, I feel that I was still in early recovery until I am change not only on the outside but also inside.
It will take longer to see more changes deep inside, I need to persist all the way to the end.
There is hope!

[kin]

Dear diary,

My heart was heavy when I look back, I realized that I have actually wasted and lost many years in early recovery because I do not trust people easily and I don’t have a God, I thought it was all a bluff. Being stubborn and so full of self did not help me either.

I met my first mentor who explain to me that our solution was a spiritual one. He told me that a religious person may not be spiritual but a spiritual person can be religious and recovery is a spiritual program.

Those practicing the 12 steps recovery program in GA, God in the book refer to a Higher Power greater than us. It can be a person, a group, a place, a recovery program or a thing. For many people practicing the program who do not have a faith or religion, it can be as simple as GOD = good orderly direction, universal rule of spirituality is to do no harm.

I was introduce to this program way back in 2005, I had my doubts, I felt that it doesn’t work for me, it was frustrating, I didn’t want to do it, I continue to drift back to my old ways.
I continue to visit WeCare community services where you can find GA, NA, AA, SLA, OA meetings and recovering people for fellowships, I continue to see new people getting well, it gave me hope, so I just keep trying but only on and off.

It was only in 2013 when I found a Higher Power in working the steps that I started to see major changes in my life and persisted, my higher power has a name, He is Jesus Christ.

My recovery is just beginning.

It was very unfortunate it took me so many years but the long wait was definitely worth it. The fruits I get in my life was so rewarding. Praise God!

I read my journal from the early days in Gambling Therapy and saw all the nice people leaving me very encouraging, comforting and supporting words especially during the painful and difficult years, I am grateful to you all.

Thank you for allowing me to share my recovery. God bless!

[kin]

Dear Jrb,
I can understand how you feel, and hope my honest confession helps. I was not a good example, I actually wasted and lost many years in early recovery because I do not trust people easily and I don’t have a God, I thought it was all a bluff.
I met an elderly recovering man clean for more than 10 years, he explain to me that our solution was a spiritual one. He told me that a religious person may not be spiritual but a spiritual person can be religious and recovery is a spiritual program.
Those practicing the 12 steps recovery program, God in the book refer to a Higher Power greater than us. It can be a person, a group, a place, a recovery program or a thing. For many people practicing the program who do not have a faith or religion, it can be as simple as GOD = good orderly direction, universal rule of spirituality is to do no harm.
I was introduce to this program way back in 2005, I was not enthusiastic at all, I feel that it doesn’t work for me, it can be frustrating, I didn’t want to do it but I continue to see people around me practicing it get well, it gave me hope, I just keep trying. It was only in 2013 when I found my Higher Power in working the step that I start to see major changes in my life. My recovery is just beginning, my personal experience working the steps now found it very real and rewarding.
I am so sorry and can feel the pain and stress in your life now. I will pray for you.
I hope you too, will find comfort and support from the nice people in here.
Thank you for allowing me to share. God bless!

[kin]

Realized I am not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable.
Step 1
We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.
Principle 1 Prayer
Dear God, Your Word tells me that I can’t heal my hurts, hang-ups, and habits by just saying that they are not there. Help me! Parts of my life, or all of my life, is out of control. I now know that I cannot “fix” myself. It seems the harder that I try to do the right thing the more I struggle. Lord, I want to step out of my denial into the truth. I pray for You to show me the way. In your Son’s name I pray, Amen.

Write about it
Lesson 1
Denial
1. What area of your life do you have power (control) over? Be specific.
2. What areas of your life are out of control, unmanageable? Be specific.
3. How do you think taking this step will help you?
4. As a child, what coping skills did you use to get attention or to protect yourself?
5. What was the “family secret” that everyone was trying to protect?
6. How do you handle pain and disappointment?
7. How do you address your denial?
8. In what areas of your life are you now beginning to face reality and break the effects of denial?
9. Are you starting to develop a support team? Are you asking for phone numbers in your meetings? List them on the inside back cover of this workbook!

Lesson 2
Powerless
10. List some of the ways that your pride has stopped you from asking for and getting help you need to overcome your hurts, hang-up, and habits.
11. What in the past has caused you to have the “if onlys”? “if only” I had stopped ________ years ago. “Only if” _______hadn’t left me.
12. Instead of worrying about the things that we cannot control, we need to focus on what God can do in our lives. What are you worry about? Why?
13. In what ways have you tried to escape your past pain? Be specific.
14. How has holding on to your anger, your resentments, affected you?
15. Do you believe that loneliness is a choice? Why or why not? How has your denial isolated you from your important relationships?
16. Describe the emptiness you feel and some new ways you are findings to fill it?
17. Selfishness is at the heart of most problems between people. In what areas of your life have you been selfish?
18. Separation from God can feel very real, but it is never permanent. What can you do to get closer to God?
Lesson 3
Hope
19. Before taking this step where were you trying to find hope?
20. What do you believe about God? What are some of His characteristics?
21. How are your feelings for your heavenly Father and your earthly father alike? How do they differ?
22. How can your relationship with your Higher Power, Jesus Christ, help you step out of your denial and face reality?
23. In what area of your life are you now ready to let God help you?
24. What things are you ready to change in your life? Where can you get the power to change them?

[Author]

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