[kin]

Stepping into the year 2024. I have gained one more year of knowledge and experience walking on this road less travelled.

In the past, I have attended all the face to face meetings, tried a few recovery program, speak to doctor, counsellor, mentor, sponsor, set up my deterrence barriers… I used to run more than 3 km every day. I learn to read the big book, basic text and the bible, I learn to pray and meditate, I reach out to other because they say you have to give away to keep what you have in recovery and more…

I still slip and relapse. It only means that I was not doing something properly, so I do it differently the next time, it was not good enough, I slip and relapse again.

After so many years, it only makes me doubt myself, lose my confidence, develop fear, worry and condemn myself more. I stop but could not stay stop. Am I really completely hopeless?

Many things I do help me to develop self- discipline, gain more strength in willpower and self-control but the real acid test comes when I cannot find the same power and strength to resist the temptation in the tug of war; stay still and calm in the storm. I did not know what happen and what hits me?

I did not know that my willpower and self-control can become less power and weaker if I did not take proper self-care. It was like a car, you used up the fuel, you run out of power.

This explain my weakness and vulnerability on some days when I did not have enough rest and sleep, when I was fasting, when I was having stress, when I was unwell, sick, drained, exhausted and tired.

Stay focus on today in the journal was so powerful. It has help me make sure I was discipline enough to get enough sleep, eat properly, identify and recognized the presence of new stress at different time to manage them properly.

This journey was not a straight forward and simple one. They say the solution was a spiritual one. I need work on my spirituality, spiritual principles and spiritual discipline on this road.

The road map is getting clearer now.

One day at a time.

[kin]

If I want to keep my job, I need to stay focus on my job today
If I want to keep my recovery, I need to stay focus on my recovery today.

I only need to stay gamble free today
Tomorrow I do the same
One day at a time.

[kin]

Willpower, self-discipline and self-control are abilities that help us achieve our goals.

What is Willpower?

Willpower is the ability to resist short-term temptations or impulses in order to achieve a long-term abstinence.

According to most psychological scientists, willpower can be defined as: The ability to delay gratification, resisting short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals. The capacity to override an unwanted thought, feeling, or impulse.

For example, if your goal is to quit smoking, willpower would involve resisting the urge to smoke when you are around others who are smoking or when you are feeling stressed.

What Is Self-discipline?

Self-discipline is the ability to control your actions and behavior in order to achieve total abstinence in recovery.

Self-discipline involves making a conscious decision to follow a plan or routine, even if it is difficult or unpleasant.

Self-discipline is the ability to direct your energy into something even when you are not feeling motivated.

For example, if your goal is to lose weight, self-discipline would involve sticking to a healthy diet and exercise plan, even when you don’t feel like it.

What is Self-control?

Self-control is the ability to control emotions, impulses and behaviors to achieve total abstinence in recovery.

Self-control is the war between impulsivity and doing what is right or beneficial.

Self-control is the ability to act in a directed manner despite motivation to do otherwise.

People who lack self-control often give in to impulsive behavior and emotions. They may make poor choices that harm themselves or others or react poorly when they don’t get what they want.

For example

Impulse control is being able to stop and think before acting. Impulse control allows a person to think through consequences before doing something.

Emotional control is the ability to manage feelings. The person can cope with a minor disappointment or criticism and move on with life. They don’t get distracted or overwhelmed by their feelings. A person who struggles with emotional control might find it hard to get past something upsetting. They overreact, and their bad moods may last a long time.

Movement control helps a person keep still when they need to. Having movement control makes it much easier to do what is asked of them, like waiting in line or be still.

[kin]

Practicing Gratitude daily is a discipline.

Train yourself. Gratitude is a discipline of the mind where we commit to counting our blessings every day and expressing thanks to God.

Gratitude is an emotion similar to appreciation. Gratitude is the key to a happy life.

[kin]

Don’t give up!

If you keep on fighting, if you keep on trying.

One day things will go your way.

[kin]

Hi navico,

Thank you for sharing.

Looking forward to reading your next post.

[kin]

Meaningless! Meaningless! Everything is meaningless. (Ecclesiastes 1:2)

What do I gain from all my gambling?
What do I achieve from all the gambling?

What did I achieve with the winning from the gambling? Nothing!
What did I achieve from gambling after I have lost everything? Only more suffering, hardship and pain!

All the chasing in gambling, is meaningless!

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.

[kin]

Today was my rest day. I am back to my normal routine of resting and sleeping to recharged and restored my energy. In between my sleep, I do my journaling.

Journaling has played a big part in my recovery. When I write about my feeling to gamble, or anything, it has help me to contain my strong emotions and kept it in the journal and nothing more, I do not need to act out the actual gambling or thought.

Journaling has stopped my instant gratification or desire to seek pleasure and fulfilment immediately without delay. Journaling has help me make thoughtful decisions, regulate my emotions, stay focused, and persist in the face of obstacles; sticking to the plan all the way to the end.

I was like a runaway truck on the highway with no brakes in the past when triggered and journaling was a good way to calm me down if something is irritating me and making me anxious, it helps me to slow down, refocus and reset my thought process instead of reacting and behaving impulsively.

Journaling has help me to see that my big fear and worry did not come true, they are not real. I do not need to panic, I do not need to gamble.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.

[kin]

Why did most recovery person I met says that our solution is a spiritual one.
What is spirituality in recovery?
What is spiritual principle?
What is spiritual discipline?
What is a Higher Power mentioned in the 12 steps program support group meeting?

[kin]

Last night I read

Willpower, self-discipline and self control are abilities that help us achieve our goals.

Since they are not the same, I asked…

What is willpower?
What is self-discipline?
What is self-control?

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.

[kin]

I must not forget that stress can come from many different things
Stress can triggered gambling thought and feeling inside me.
I risk becoming impulsive if I am not careful.

I need to do everything to protect myself from not placing the first bet
Once I start gambling, I know that the first bet win or lose
I cannot stop placing the next bet.

I only need to stay focus on today
I only need to stop gambling today

Tomorrow I do the same
One day at a time.

[kin]

Hi i-did-it,

Thank you for sharing your recovery in here. I really look forward to reading your post.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.

[kin]

Hi sarah,
I am happy for you, I hope this new phone can bring you lots of fun and laughter.

I bought a small apartment, it is currently under construction and will be ready end of this year. I just bought a new phone too. This is the benefit of staying gamble free one day at a time.

[kin]

What has really help me in the last year was the power of focusing on today, not my future and not my past.

[kin]

I need to know my enemy and familiarize myself with what I am facing on a regular basis.

If I am active gambling, I cannot discover that the fear and belief I have; will not happen.

My intrusive and unwanted thoughts in obsessive compulsive disorder trick me into thinking my fear is real and I must do something about it.

These intrusive and unwanted thought keeps repeating over and over again. It arises in response to a threat.

If I am gambling, I will not discover that they will fade away in time even if I do not gamble.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.

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