[kin]

Thank God I did not fall into temptation today
Thank God for the protection from evil today
Thank God, the bad feelings and emotions come and go. I was very grateful for the uninterrupted sleep and rest that I received. I can feel the difference in my energy, I was recharged and restored. I could function normally the whole day.
Thank you God, you are my provider, comforter and healer.
I was just grateful to be able to stay focus on today because if I stay obsessed with the future, I can easily fall sick spiritually, I start to have fear, anxiety and worries.

[kin]

I am grateful to God for the mercy and grace today.
I am grateful and thankful for the support I receive from my family and mentor today
I am appreciative and thankful to have this job today.
I am thankful that I do not need to gamble today.
I am grateful that I do not have to worry about debt today.

[kin]

Everything is Ok but I do not feel Ok and I do not know why?

Everyday for the last few days was the same.
I had difficulty sleeping so I did not rest properly and feeling very exhausted and tired.

I don’t know why I am emotionally and feeling unwell.
Is my eczema coming or am I affected by a sickness I do not know?
Is my manageable stress in a few areas adding up to become an heavy burden?

Am I not appreciative of the everyday thing, did it cause me to become spiritually sick and unwell.
Thing are Ok but I do not feel Ok.

I hope that counting my blessing and doing a gratitude list can help me to be appreciative and grateful.
Things may not be Ok but I can be Ok.

[kin]

Count my blessing

I am grateful for the roof over my head and the bed I sleep today
I am grateful for the food I eat today
I am grateful for the job and the income it provide today
I am grateful that everything is enough today
I am grateful to stop gambling today

[kin]

Hi i-did-it,

You have been thru a lot, and have found your way back. Stay focus on what you are doing.
Your personal recovery, health and growth is more important. You are worth it.

You did gardening and that takes self-discipline.
It help strengthen your willpower and self-control.

Take care and God bless!

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.

[kin]

Hi sarah,

Hope all is well with you.
Thank you for your last post.

It reminded me to be thankful.
I would not be able to do many things if I had continue gambling.
I do not have much now but it is enough.

[kin]

I just bought a new 4.2L electric kettle just now.

It was not a difficult decision.
My single bet can buy me more than 16… 4.2L electric kettles.
A sleazy massage can buy me more than 2… 4.2L electric kettles.
I did not do either.

I do not have to wait to make this purchase.
It was something for the people at home.

I was very undecisive when I am in active gambling.
My money was used for my gambling.
It was about and always for me, me, me.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.

[kin]

Hi Emma,

It was nice to see you posting again.

Daily journaling helps you to develop self-discipline and focus on your goal, it will also strengthen your muscle in willpower and self-control.

Looking forward to reading your next post.

[kin]

Count my blessing

I am very grateful that I do not have the stress from the daily gamble. I do not have to worry about missing a gamble.
I am very grateful that I do not have the stress and worry about finding the money to gamble. I do not have to borrow to gamble.
I am very grateful that I do not have the stress, worry and fear from more gambling debts.
I am very grateful that I did not lose my self-control today. I suffer from poor impulse and emotion control.
I am very grateful that gambling is not controlling my life today. I was not stress, troubled and disturb by gambling.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

[kin]

After I have place my FIRST BET
I would not be able to stop
If I win, sooner or later I will place the NEXT BET
If I lose, I cannot stop placing the NEXT BET

After I have place my LAST BET
My mind keep telling me ONE MORE TIME
My mind become obsess with gambling
I become trapped

But if I do not place the first bet
I will not have to worry about the stress from betting
I do not have to worry about winning and losing
I do not have to worry about the next bet
I can continue to enjoy the freedom and peace on each day

[kin]

I was journaling on the notepad in my phone on the road just now. I check my thought, feeling and emotion. I felt good, but something was not right, I do not know what.

I seem to want more, I want to feel good and satisfying, that means doing something familiar and predictable like gambling, drinking, eating, sex and others.

It was a danger sign; I am not home, I am not safe, I could end up anywhere if I allow my self-will to lead me.

My enemy is so cunning and deceptive. It comes very quietly; I did not know it is coming and very near me; it was trying to control me.

You will know if you can recognize some signs such as feeling of boredom, indecisive, impatience and restlessness; discontent and dissatisfied my finance is not good enough, my saving is not growing fast enough; I want more and I want it now.

I just have enough gratitude, calm and patience, mindfulness and awareness to keep me safe in this tug of war today.

I am good and safe at home now as I post this.
I was this close to gambling and my barriers has made it very inconvenient for me.

It only take one bad decision, one wrong move and I could be gambling now.
I was not so determine to gamble today; I was not so impulsive and not very out of control;
I may not be so lucky next time.

I only need to stay gamble free today whether I like it or not.
Tomorrow, I do the same
One day at a time.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.

[kin]

Writing journal and counting my blessing daily is a form of practice that require discipline. I am going to take one day at a time. I normally lose my discipline after a while and need the training.

Count my blessing today

I very grateful to God for everything
I am very grateful to Gambling Therapy and We Care Community Services
I am very grateful for the support I received from my mentor, counsellor and family
I am very grateful there are less fear, less anxiety, less worry, more faith, more trust and more confident in my recovery.
I do not have much but they are enough, I am grateful.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.

[kin]

Count my blessing

I am very thankful to be alive and in good health today.
I am very grateful to my God, family and friend for the mercy, grace, love and kindness that I have received.
I am very thankful for the protection today. I may not have much money but they are enough.
I am very grateful for the new opportunities to grow in my recovery.
I am very thankful for the food and rest I get today.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.

[kin]

Count my blessing

I am grateful for the peace and joy at home
I am grateful to have a job and life is manageable
I am grateful to be working on the things that could have lead me to gamble
I am grateful to have found the power of focusing on today and the power of faith and trust on one day at a time
I am thankful for the food I ate and the rest I get today

[kin]

I do feel a sense of sadness after reading the article on self-control.
The explanation on impulse control, emotional control and movement control was so accurate.

I did not want it, I never ask for this disorder but I would need to live with my impulse control disorder for the rest of my life. I can only accept what has happen and do my best to take precautionary measures to minimize the chance of the same thing happening again in the future.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by kin.

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