[kin]

Dear diary

I didn’t understand why I should flee from temptation. Many times I have stay a little longer to see whether I can beat the temptation.

The truth was many times I have look hard at all my options in hard times and ended up in the wrong place, with the wrong people, doing the wrong things.

I cannot see this until now:

Man was not tempted in real life like Christ in the bible.
Man have the vulnerability to give in to sin because they have a sinful nature. Christ did not have the same vulnerability and a sinful nature.

This explain why I should flee away and not entertain those tempting thoughts.

I should not test myself.

[kin]

13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind.
God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.
And when you are tempted, he will also provide a way to escape so that you can endure it. ~ Corinthians 10:13(NIV)

For sin shall not master over you, for you are not under law but under grace.~ Roman 6:14

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12 Blessed is the man who endures temptation and will receive the crown of life~ James 1:12

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If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. ~ John 1:9

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15For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been TEMPTED IN EVERY WAY, just as we are—yet HE DID NOT SIN. ~ Hebrew 4:15

16Let us then APPROACH GOD’s throne of grace with confidence, SO THAT WE MAY RECEIVE MERCY AND FIND GRACE TO HELP US IN OUR TIME OF NEED. ~ Hebrew 4:16

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18 Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted. ~ Hebrews 2:18 (NIV)

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8 Be alert and of sober mind.
Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith,
because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. ~ Peter 5:8-9(NIV)

[kin]

6 So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must ENDURE MANY TRIALS for a little while.
7 These trials will show that your FAITH is genuine. It is being tested AS FIRE TEST AND PURIFIED GOLD—though your FAITH is far more precious than mere gold.
So when your FAITH remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. ~ Peter 1:6-7(NLT)

[kin]

Temptation is not the result of God’s work. God is separated from everything that is evil. God cannot be tempted by evil and He will not tempt others with evil.

Temptation is a trial or test between doing what is right and doing what is wrong. Temptation is not the same as sin. Sin is actually doing wrong. Temptation result in an internal struggle between good and wrong.

During temptation, you are entice to do what is wrong.
Temptation is the tool that the devil uses to lure you away from God.
It is possible to resist temptation.

15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. ~ Hebrew 4:15

12 Blessed is the man who endures temptation and will receive the crown of life~ James 1:12

13 Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God~ James 1:13

Matthew 4:1-11(NIV) Jesus Is Tested in the Wilderness
4 Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. 2 AFTER FASTING FORTY DAYS AND FORTY NIGHTS, HE WAS HUNGRY. 3 The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” 4 Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘MAN SHALL not LIVE on bread alone, but ON EVERY WORD THAT COMES FROM THE MOUTH OF GOD.”

8 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all THE KINGDOM OF THE WORLD AND THEIR SPLENDOR. 9 “All this I will give you,” he said, “IF YOU WILL BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP ME.” 10 Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘WORSHIP THE LORD YOUR GOD AND SERVE HIM ONLY.”
11 Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.

Galatians 5:17 (NIV)
17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do the things you wish.
Romans 3:23
23For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

[kin]

Dear Lizbeth , Vera and Maverick

I have realized that it was easier said than done for me when it comes to surrendering my selfish, self-centered, self-seeking ways; my self-will during difficult times.

When good times turn bad, I was fearful of the hardships, I was looking for a quick fix. I didn’t want to endure what I felt was undeserved suffering and difficulties so I stop obeying

Temptation itself is not a problem ( if I did not act it out, for real or in the mind. )

It only become a problem when I give in to the temptation; when I made the decision to gamble when things is not going well.

Whenever I try to take control, I lose the control.

It was disappointing and painful to know that this continue to happen, I may be able to resist many temptations but not all the temptations, “I” still allow myself to do wrong for some temptation , I still have reservation to gamble when times is difficult, I kept these excuses to gamble. I don’t like to acknowledge this dishonesty but this relapse highlight the truth about me.

It make me doubt myself more now as there will surely be and always be stormy and difficult times ahead in my life.

It was nothing to be proud if I was more mindful in recovery when my wound was still fresh and life was an uphill climb. Now I doubt and question my faith when times are turning from good to bad and life starts to become unmanageable.

It was easy to obey when time is good, but when times change for the worst, help me God, please grant and bless me with the wisdom, and peace of mind to adapt quickly in good orderly direction.

This brings to my mind something I read about God sending my enemies to take care of me every time when I do not obey.

[kin]

Dear diary
What did I learn this time?
“I” was not walking on a different street, I was still walking around the hole on the same street.
Problem can comes in all form and ways, it could have been the loss of a job, lack of money, sickness, relationship issues etc.
I should have rest on God. I should not focus on my problem, it can only get me into more trouble.
I should not be listening to my lies and false hope, they sounded very attractive and real, the immediate answer looks good but it was wrong, it was not the truth and the long-term solution I need, the repercussion and consequences is very real and heavy in the end.
For the umpteen times, I have disobeyed the truth during difficult times and complicate matters.
It exposes my weakness, character defects and my foolishness. I will be using this new information to do a fearless moral inventory.
When times is good, it was easy for me to give up my self-will but when times are bad, I become unsure, it was easy for me to take back the steering wheel from God and disobeyed the truth.
I have made a very dishonest mistake, I didn’t want to take up immediate temporary employment as a security guard because I did not want to eat humble pie and take hardship. My high pride and proud self become my obstacle.
It was another painful lesson, my flesh was weak, the good times did not last.
What would I have done differently this time if I was given a second chance?
I shall not gamble.
The reality of the discomfort and the uncertainty from losing my job, the fear and insecurity of losing my income and the retirement of the sole breadwinner at home at the same time make me afraid and anxious.
When I was afraid and anxious, I should have rested on my Higher Power and God.
My way is not God’s way.
My emotion during tough time can impaired my judgement.
When all else fail, follow directions ~ AA recovery slogan.
I should take up immediate temporary employment as a security guard.
I must walk down a different street
– during difficult times, gambling must not be an option.

[kin]

Dear diary
Self-righteousness is “confidence in one’s own righteousness
Self-righteousness is a very difficult sin to get me to see.
It is always a constant temptation to all of us to believe we are right.
14 each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. ~ James 1:14(NIV)
When I lost my job, I was wrong to focus on all the difficulties instead of God and recovery, I ended up replacing honest hard work with gambling for money.
Self-righteousness was a serious problem for me, it keeps me from doing the right thing. It makes me believe in MY LIES.
I listen to the truth but did not choose to obey because all I see was my problem and I could not see a solution. At this point of time, temptation appears so attractive, it appears to be my solution when it is not.
29 Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” ~John 20:29(NIV)
If you do not repent of your self-righteous hypocrisy, you are storing up wrath for the day of judgment. ~ Roman 2:5
I was wrong.

[kin]

Dear diary
1.WALKING AWAY so that my family, friends and me will not suffer any repercussions is mature and thinking responsibly.
2.Taking up the fight and gamble could make matter worst and impact my life.
3.Avoid getting into situation that threaten fights as an evitable outcome; the anger, frustration, fear and panic will make me see red and cannot think clearly about what is happening.
4.This is all the more reasons WALKING AWAY is the best option, TO CREATE THE DISTANCE needed to COOL DOWN.
5.Keep an eye out for danger signs, like the building up of high tension and stay away.
6. Attempt to defuse the situation as soon as it arises . By stepping back and walking away – you make the FIRST CALL to NOT ENGAGE any further.
7. I will feel like a loser, desperate, helpless, weak, coward and beaten. Recognize these feeling, don’t personalize them, don’t look at it as an issue of pride, let it pass.
8.The casino and betting house is trying all sort of tactics to trick and provoke the compulsive gamblers to place the bet.
9.The important thing is avoiding the gamble, just stay calm and do your best to convince yourself that a gamble is a bad idea even if it seem in the right.
10. Look for potential escape route.

The rights and wrongs of the matter can be resolve later.

[kin]

Dear diary,
When I gamble, I become Greedy and Impatience, Stubborn and Foolish, Careless and Ungrateful, Irresponsible and Selfish.
It was shocking for me to find so many character defects.
Previously I wouldn’t be able to identify and describe them.
These character defects was kept in check, quiet and under control in recovery.
Financially insecure, broke and indebt was the symptom and the result of gambling
FEAR was my excuse to gamble.

[kin]

Dear diary
Anger, panic, fear, and frustration are all emotions
–guaranteed to cause you to fall apart and see red
–rather than think clearly about what is happening.
This is all the more reasons walking away is the best option often, to create the distance needed to cool down.
It’s highly recommended that you learn to avoid getting yourself into situations that threaten fights as an inevitable outcome.
Keep an eye out for danger signs, like the building up of high tension, and stay away.
Attempt to defuse the situation as soon as it arises. By stepping back or standing away — YOU MAKE THE FIRST CALL TO NOT ENGAGE ANY FURTHER..
Keep your distance––move away again.
You might hear yourself being called a loser, coward, weak.
Recognize them for what they are and don’t personalize them. let it roll like water off the duck’s back.
The casino is trying all sorts of tactics, but no damage was done because the mind say ridiculous things.
Don’t look at it as an issue of pride––look at it as an issue of the casino trying to trick and provoke us.
Accept that I have made a mistake and walk away even if I think I am right.
It helps me keep my cool and peace.
The important thing is avoiding a fight, just stay calm and do your best to convince yourself that a fight is a bad idea. Even if you’re seemingly in the right.
The rights and wrongs of the matter can be untangled and resolve later.

[Author]

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