[kin]

Dear Maverick,
In life, many things is uncertain and unpredictable. Like a ship sailing in the sea, sometime it goes a little off course due to strong winds or currents, this is like the living problems we face everyday, it can sometime throw us off our balance, it is perfectly ok to drift from time to time.
It is not the end of the world, but what is more important is the awareness and the ability to recognize and “catch oneself” before it is too late, the willingness to change, refocus and continue to head in the right direction.

[kin]

The only thing that change today was my gambling but nothing else about me change. I was still the same a@@@h@l@.

[kin]

In life, many things is uncertain and unpredictable. Like a ship sailing in the sea, sometime it goes a little off course due to strong winds or currents, this is like the living problems we face everyday, it can sometime throw us off our balance, it is perfectly ok to drift from time to time.
It is not the end of the world, but what is more important is the awareness and the ability to recognize and “catch oneself” before it is too late, the willingness to change, refocus and continue to head in the right direction.

[kin]

In life, many things is uncertain and unpredictable. Like a ship sailing in the sea, sometime it goes a little off course due to strong winds or currents, this is like the living problems we face everyday, it can sometime throw us off our balance, it is perfectly ok to drift from time to time.
It is not the end of the world, but what is more important is the awareness and the ability to recognize and “catch oneself” before it is too late, the willingness to change, refocus and continue to head in the right direction.

[kin]

In life, many things is uncertain and unpredictable. Like a ship sailing in the sea, sometime it goes a little off course due to strong winds or currents, this is like the living problems we face everyday, it can sometime throw us off our balance, it is perfectly ok to drift from time to time.
It is not the end of the world, but what is more important is the awareness and the ability to recognize and “catch oneself” before it is too late, the willingness to change, refocus and continue to head in the right direction.

[kin]

Wolf Parable
An elder Apache was teaching his grandchildren about life.
He said to them ,”A fight is going on inside me; it is a terrible fight
and it is between two wolves.

One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, competition, superiority, and ego.

The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person too.”
They thought about it for a minute
and then one child asked his grandfather,
“Which wolf will win?”

The old Grandpa simply replied, “The one you feed.

Are you feeding your addiction or your recovery?

[kin]

The fat cat is the betting houses or bookies. The gambler keep losing and giving their hard earn money to them, this cat grow fat

The skinny cat is the mother, wife and children. The gambler is not giving them enough, this cat grow skinny

The sleeping cat was the gambler. The gambler does not have the awareness to know what is happening around them, this cat is sleeping

We need to wake up

[kin]

Dear Monica,
You are worth it!
Psalm 69:6
Everyone is like a pot that carries life. But not everyone carries a presence that blesses others. Religion tries to force people to follow laws to make them perfect, like pots without cracks. But if a light is put within a flawless pot and then covered, no one is able to see the light inside the pot. Perfect pots are not able to reveal internal light to illumine the way for others.
God chooses to shine through imperfect, cracked pots.
People are blessed when their cracked pots let the light of God shine through.
Choose to be a glory filled, cracked pot rather than an empty, pretty vessel.

[kin]

Dear P,
You are worth it!
Psalm 69:6
Everyone is like a pot that carries life. But not everyone carries a presence that blesses others. Religion tries to force people to follow laws to make them perfect, like pots without cracks. But if a light is put within a flawless pot and then covered, no one is able to see the light inside the pot. Perfect pots are not able to reveal internal light to illumine the way for others.
God chooses to shine through imperfect, cracked pots.
People are blessed when their cracked pots let the light of God shine through.
Choose to be a glory filled, cracked pot rather than an empty, pretty vessel.

[kin]

A stone cutter may strike the rock 99 times with no apparent effect, not even a crack on the surface. Yet with the hundredth blow, the rock splits in two. It was not the final blow that did the trick, but all that had gone before.
I may pursue a goal for months without obvious results and become convinced that I m wasting my time but if I continue going to meeting , sharing about my struggle, taking it one day at a time, and being patient with myself, I may awaken one day , to find that I have changed, seemingly overnight. I have a gut feel that all these months of faith and hard work will made the changes possible one day and the results would revealed themselves abruptly one day.
It took me a long time to become a addict and it may take a long time for me to recover. I must be patient.

[kin]

Chapter 1

I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk, I fall in.
I am lost. I am hopeless, It take forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk, I pretend I dun see it, I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place but I believe it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk, I see it is there, I still fall in, it‘s a habit
I know where I am, It is my fault, I get out immediately

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk, I walk around it.

Chapter 5
I walk down another street.

Where are you now?

[kin]

Dear John,

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.

I remember there were many days in my life when it was all dark and scary, I was afraid, helpless and hopeless.
I will never forget how taking the first step forward, a very small baby step each time help me move on in life.
You will find the light, the truth and the way. There is hope!

[kin]

I will gladly accept what I have now, I have already learnt to be comfortable and accept myself now.
My recovery was never perfect and smooth sailing, it was full of incidents and offered me many lessons.
I was thankful for all these lessons, I needed them, I need it to break down my stubbornness, self-righteousness, ego, pride and arrogant.
I will keep trying, all the baby changes or progress will add up one day, this was my story. I do not envy others because I do not know anyone who is perfect.
When I describe my feeling, I can read feeling I have now that I could not see myself writing in the past. This was the evidence of baby progress I made.
In the past, I learnt that everyone have a choice including me.
When things get difficult and was time for me to made a decision, I did not make it easier because my list of things to do included all the right thing and wrong thing to do altogether such as all the vices like alcohol, gambling, food and sex. Imagine this, when my thinking was not straight and my feeling was not right, I was vulnerable and prone to picking all the bad choices.
Now I realize the following;
1. Choices – I can choose to gamble or not gamble
2. Chance – Every single time I had a chance not to gamble
3. List of things to do – Create a list of to do thing without any vices, pick anything from the list to do, they are all good and not destructive ones.
I can made things easier for myself.
How right are they when I set my priority right, everything naturally fall into its rightful place.
Priority 1 – My God
Priority 2 – My Recovery
Priority 3 – My family; Love, care and contribution to the family
Priority 4 – Money; I can earn less and do all the above as long as I am not losing any money to gambling.
Priority 5 – Job; I do not have to fear losing this job and the money it bring anymore. I can see now, the price was heavy, my cost for keeping this job was spiritually. It was not worthy at all because end of the day, I will still lose the job and whatever money.
Keeping this job used to be my no.1 priority and I lost all the above, my relationship with God and family suffer, I back slided in recovery, I was not able to contribute to family. I was doing well at work but my old ways return.
Today I am feeling hopeful and happy once more, I knew that after 8 months facing my old enemy or fear on this new job, I am finally prepared and very ready to conquer it by the grace and mercy of God.
What is something new I would like to add to my list of thing to do next year.
I wish to join a men’s fellowship to do bible study – first time / to repair my spiritual health
I wish to start exercising – many times but procrastinate / to repair my physical health

[kin]

there is hope!

[kin]

I regret the thing I didn’t do in recovery when I had the chance, I didn’t take the chance not to gamble.

[Author]

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