[kin]

1. 9 am – Two hard boiled eggs for breakfast

2. 12.30pm – Three hard boiled eggs for lunch

3. Broccoli and one hard boiled egg for dinner.

5. Stay gamble free today.

6. Drink lots of water with lemon slice.

I was so hungry in the evening that I had to buy some broccoli for dinner.

Tomorrow I do the same.

[kin]

1. 9 am – Two hard boiled eggs for breakfast
2. 12.30pm – Three hard boiled egg white only for lunch
3. 6.30pm – One hour walk home from office.
4. Cucumber and One hard boiled egg for dinner.
5. Stay gamble free today.
6. Drink lots of water with lemon slice inside.

What they say is true, you do not feel hungry so easily eating hard boiled egg white. I ate 6 hard boiled eggs today.

Tomorrow I do the same.

[kin]

Hi Monica,

I can feel your pain and heartbreak and you are very brave in your sharing.

“There are two types of pains, one that hurts you and the other that changes you.” ~ Anonymous Quotes

“The point of recovery isn’t to live without ups and downs – it is learning how to live with the ups and downs.” ~ Ali Foley Shenk

“There is nothing better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance next time.” ~ Malcom X

[kin]

Day no. 2

I do not know why I do not feel hungry eating lesser than before but the warning sign are there on day two. My body experiences body aches from the walk and I notice my tolerant level become very low today which can causes me to explode in anger easily. Help me God to keep my emotion manageable.

Latest update: I was showing some symptom of keto flu such as irritability, nausea and sleep issue at this stage just like how they mention may happen in the beginning.

[kin]

1. I need money to gamble.
2. I need a place to gamble
3. I need time to gamble.
Setting up barriers against them was the easy part. It stops me from gambling when I could not do it myself.
I can force myself to stop gambling but nothing else about me has change. If nothing about me change, nothing changes.

What is it like in the past?
I force myself to stop gambling but nothing else about me change, my belief still remain the same.
I believe that if I could wait patiently for the opportunity, pick the right football match to gamble, I can win money. I have done it many times. I don’t think that I was wrong.
I also believe that I can gamble like a normal person and stop at will. I will hit the winning and run, I will do control gambling.
What happen?
I manage to stop gambling but I could not stay stop gambling for long. I keep falling back into the same hole.
What is it like now?
I believe that I was wrong. I believe that my belief was wrong. That is exactly what the bookie and casino want me to think and feel, as long as I think and feel that I can win the gamble in football, I will return one day, if I continue gambling, the bookie and casino knew they will win in the end.
Winning is a trap, it just lead to periods of compulsive gambling. A compulsive gambler can never gamble like a normal person.
When I stop gambling, I stop losing money. I did not sacrifice any winning opportunities because I never win in gambling in the end. There was no winning, I only lose, sometime sooner, sometime later, the truth and ending is always the same.
I don’t want to lose a single dollar to the bookie and casino anymore and I don’t wish to fall into their trap. I shall remain total abstinent in all form of gambling today.
I only need to stop gambling today. Tomorrow I do the same.
Recovery is a one day at a time program (ODAAT).

[kin]

Chapter 1

I walk down the street, There is a deep hole in the sidewalk, I fall in. I am lost. I am hopeless, It take forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street , There is a deep hole in the sidewalk, I pretend I dun see it, I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place. But I believe it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street , There is a deep hole in the sidewalk , I see it is there, I still fall in, it‘s a habit. I know where I am, It is my fault. I get out immediately

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street , There is a deep hole in the sidewalk , I walk around it

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.

Where are you now?

[kin]

The story was about a mountain climber, who wanted to climb the highest mountain. He began his adventure after many years of preparation, but since he wanted the glory just for himself, he decided to climb the mountain alone.

The night felt heavy in the heights of the mountains, and the man could not see anything. All was black. Zero visibility, and the moon and the stars were covered by the clouds.

As he was climbing, only a few feet away from the top of the mountain, he slipped and fell into the air, falling at a great speed. The climber could only see black spots as he went down, and the terrible sensation of being sucked by gravity. He kept falling… and in those moments of great fear, it came to his mind all the good and bad episodes of his life. He was thinking now about how close death was getting, when all of a sudden he felt the rope tied to his waist pull him very hard.

His body was hanging in the air. Only the rope was holding him, and in that moment of stillness he had no other choice but scream, “HELP ME GOD!!”. All of a sudden, a deep voice coming from the sky answered, “What do you want Me to do?”
“Save me God!!”
“Do you really think I can save you?”
“Of course I believe You can.”
“Then cut the rope tied to your waist.”
There was a moment of silence and the man decided to hold on to the rope with all his strength.
The rescue team found the climber dead and frozen on the next day…his body hanging from a rope – His hands holding tight to the rope only 10 feet away from the ground.

When are you going to let go of the gambling?

[kin]

In football punting, it was a match between 2 teams and casino bacarrat game, it was a gamble between banker and player.

We will win some and lose some. The winning streaks sometime can be long and sometime it can be short. I am sure you have experience this many times but what is common with the two was the ending, it is always the same.

At some point, you will lose self control and do not want to walk away. That is when you want some more and some more of it. This is when we could not walk away from something that is harmful to ourselves.

I found this in the topic forum, hope you find it useful.
Can a CG ever become a controlled gambler?
Discussion Points
What personal beliefs do you hold about this?
Have you ever tried, if so what was the outcome?
Do you know of anyone who has successfully achieved this?

[kin]

Today I am willing to:

1. exercise
2. control my diet
3. stay gamble free

I cannot promise that I can do this for the rest of my life but I can do it one day at a time.

[kin]

I want to take the first step to exercise today but I was overthinking and anxious.
I couldn’t move my butt until 3 hours later, I wanted to walk 3 rounds around the park but only did 1 round. Finally I was glad to be able to eat moderately today.
I am prepared for the withdrawal that will come with these changes.

[kin]

It was not a natural thing for me to do. I did not exercise for a long time and I have put on more than 12 kg. I have never control my diet. I cannot resist over eating, I love consuming carbo, fried food, chili, and sweet stuffs.
Where do I start? Exercise and diet
When do I start? Today
What I need to do today? Taking the first step and doing the next right thing.
What I need to do tomorrow? Repeat what I did today.
How long? One Day At A Time.
The same apply to my recovery in addiction. Don’t wait until it become too late. Don’t let the gambling, alcohol and food destroy what little I have left. I am prepared for death but I was not ready to end up alive losing a limb or two. It will be too painful and too much suffering. It is good to fear, a healthy fear.

[kin]

A real life sharing on TV
He didn’t want to sacrifice eating sweet things.
He didn’t want to exercise.
Today his leg was amputated by the doctor for the second time, the first time the doctor removed 2 toes, later he developed infection, the doctor had no choice but to amputated the leg below the knee due to diabetes.

He regretted not controlling his diet, exercise and doing what it takes to control his problem when he had the chance. If he was given a second chance, he would definitely do it.
A very familiar tone in recovery.

[kin]

Jeremiah 50:32
The arrogant one will stumble and fall With no one to raise him up; And I will set fire to his cities And it will devour all his environs.”
James 3:2
For we all stumble in many ways If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well
Psalm 37:24
When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, Because the LORD is the One who holds his hand.

[kin]

Not that I have now attained, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to lay hold of and make my own, that for which Christ Jesus (the Messiah) has laid hold of me and made me His own. — Philippians 3:12
There are many people who are so afraid of making a mistake they don’t do anything. Instead, they sit around saying, “What if I’m wrong? What if I miss God?”
Do you know what God told me one time? He said, “If you miss Me, I’ll find you.”
If we are wandering off somewhere and not sure where we are, we can just lift up our hands and say, “Jesus, come and get me! I’m confused. I think I made a wrong decision.”
God knows we cannot be perfect, so He sent His Son as a perfect sacrifice for us. Now we’re pressing toward the mark of perfection. In Philippians 3, the apostle Paul talks about pressing forward to what lies ahead and forgetting about the past.
God is calling you to press forward today. Stop living in fear of making mistakes, because everyone makes mistakes, period. God is not asking you to not make mistakes. He’s calling you to press forward, trusting Him to lead you. He’s asking you to call upon Him. Don’t live in fear of your imperfection. Live with faith in God’s perfect plan for you.

Prayer:
God, I don’t want to live paralysed by fear of my imperfection and my mistakes.
Help me to keep my focus on You.
I know that when I call You, You will help me press forward…

[kin]

Může se CG někdy stát kontrolovaným hazardním hráčem? Ne. Jaké osobní přesvědčení o tom máte? Po 12 letech zotavení jsem byl přesvědčen, že jsem stále CG, vždy dosáhnu bodu, že nemohu zastavit nebo odejít, někdy dříve, někdy později. Zkoušeli jste někdy, pokud ano, jaký byl výsledek? Ano, mnohokrát se mi ztráta sebeovládání v hazardu stane pokaždé, někdy dříve, někdy o mnoho měsíců později, konec je vždy stejný. Víte o někom, kdo toho úspěšně dosáhl? Ne

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