[kin]

Why did I continue to journal?

Journaling not only check my thought, feeling and emotions, it also helps me to develop self-discipline.

I need to complete my journaling even if I do not have the desire or feeling to do it.
This ability or self-control can help me avoid or stop gambling that could lead to negative consequences.

It is the ability to guide, retrain, control and correct me to achieve my goal.
It is the ability to regulate and control myself to achieve a higher goal.

This ability can be strengthened with more practice.
Regular practice becomes a habit.

[kin]

I am grateful to alive today.
I am grateful to be gamble free for another day, tomorrow I do the same.
I am grateful to be given a second chance in life today.
I am grateful for the protection, mercy and grace today.
I am grateful to be free from “I want more.”

[kin]

I need to expose the things that lead to my gambling. I cannot pretend that this problem does not exist.

Once the seed of doubt was planted, unbelief can grow in strength under the right environment to distract and tempt me to gamble.

I need help from a Higher Power to deal with my problem. I need to have faith and trust in my Higher Power.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. Jesus is enough for me.

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.

[kin]

This barbershop theory is often used for recovery, “If you hang around the barber shop long enough, sooner or later, you are going to get a haircut.” The same applies to food, sex, alcohol, smoking, drugs and slot machines.

If I am a recovering compulsive gambler and I spend my free time and entertainment in website that shows me live sporting match, live gamble and odds, I am putting myself in danger, according to the barbershop theory, sooner or later, I am going to place the first bet.

If I am a recovering alcoholic and I spend my free time with friends in drinking places all the times, I am putting myself in danger, according to the barbershop theory, sooner or later, I am going to pick up the first drink.

Don’t put yourself in situations where undesirable consequences are likely to unfold.

It is my responsibility to walk away and stay away from danger.

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.

[kin]

When I become irresponsible, I stop doing all the things that has help me to heal and progress in my life.

When I stop putting in the effort and hard work in recovery and life
Sooner or later, one of the life crisis on the road will hit me that will send me free falling into the rock bottom.

[kin]

These negative thoughts has a name, it is called “Stinking Thinking”.

These thoughts sabotage your ability to see clearly and take responsibility for your actions.

Even if you have stop gambling, you may still find yourself slipping into Stinking Thinking and not be able to stick to your gamble free plan all the way to the end.

Stop gambling is a great first step, but it must be followed by a change of heart. You will need to address Stinking Thinking if you want long-term freedom from gambling.

[kin]

I am very grateful to read the post by others every day.
Sometime the post help me as much as it help the person who post it.

It reminded me of ways leading to my gambling
It encourage me to do the things that I do not like to do to stay gamble free.
I must not forget to do the things that has help me stay gamble free on my first day.

I was determine not to gamble on my first gamble free day
I did not want to be greedy and corrupt in the beginning
I tried to remove the risk and stay away from the danger
I continue to journal and keep my barriers

When I am mentally and physically stressed and tired
When my willpower and self-control is weak
My top priority was to recharge and restore my energy with more rest and sleep

I only need to stop gambling today.
Tomorrow I do the same.
One day at a time.

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.

[kin]

I have make this mistake so many times.
After I feel better, I thought it was no longer necessary and urgent for me to take my medicine every day.
I stop doing the things that has help me get better in the beginning.
It happen to my recovery in gambling, high blood pressure, weight loss, overeating, exercise and saving.
I lost my discipline and become lazy.

I am very grateful for the mindfulness, awareness and reminder
I have stop and I need to stay stop
I need to continue to do the things that has help me to stay stop in the beginning

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.

[kin]

Hi sarah,

Thank you for your kind words.

I truly am just like another patient seeking help at the hospital
A patient never run the hospital, it will be a disaster for the others.
At most, I was just carrying the good message from the Higher Power to others.
I was like most patients, so I know how they feel.

I was having my quiet time. This was an important message for me.
I have not taken my high blood pressure medicine so my blood pressure will remain high or become high in the end.

I have high blood pressure illness and I am taking a very big risk if I do not take my medicine every day.
It can lead to other complications like heart attack and stroke.

I am not free from high blood pressure
I can only keep it manageable and under control
my status will always be work in progress and under construction.

This is very much like recovery from compulsive gambling
I need to continue doing what has helps me in the beginning to rebuild my life.

Amen.

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.

[kin]

I am thankful today was no different from my first gamble free day.
I am grateful to do the same thing that has help me stay gamble free on my first day.
I am grateful and thankful to journal, it has help me get heal and recover.

Journaling has played a very big part in helping me stay focus on my recovery.
It has help me develop more self-discipline, as I need to put in the time and effort.
Regular practice helps me to strengthen my determination, willpower and self-control.

But once I stop doing all the things that is helping me to stay gamble free
I can easily get distracted, lose focus and lack self-disciple; my willpower and self-control can grow weaker over time

I am concern that I will be setting myself up to fail if I stop doing all the things that has help me stay gamble free on my first day. I am not required to like journaling, I am only required to do the journaling.

It will not be fair if I was force to do something. My God has given me the free will, I was given the free choice to choose what I want to do.

Many times I have follow my ways and the result was disastrous.
Slowly I return to my old ways. I am pretty sure my ways does not work!

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.

[kin]

You posted on 5th April 2023 – “Back in 2018, I obviously thought I didn’t need to post anymore…there we go I slipped again, further and harder than ever.”

You posted on 23rd January 2024 – “Things going ok, been about 10 months gamble free now…At the moment I don’t post so much… I don’t feel that I need to get as much “out there” as in the very early days of recovery.

Hi marcus,

I have read your post and hope I was wrong. Both messages seem to say the same thing.

After you are able to stay gamble free, you do not like to put in the extra effort to journal.

I hope that reading your previous post is helping you to stay vigilant and alert as you made progress.

Best wishes from kin

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.

[kin]

If I did not put it all down in words, I cannot see my challenges and struggles clearly.
I am human, I will lose my focus and forget easily. Journaling help me to remember and remind me to watch my steps, it help me to take one small baby step forward at a time.

I am very grateful; I was tempted but I did not fall for the temptations today; I was distracted but I did not lose all my focus completely today. I did not place my first bet today.

I am very grateful to walk away and sacrifice the win in the gamble today. My action reward me with something priceless and invisible, I continue to experience inner peace, freedom, calm, joy and happiness instead of fear, stress, worry, panic, anxiety, pain, hardship and suffering today.

I am very grateful to realize and remember the harmful effect of gambling today.

I am very grateful to repent today; I was headed in the wrong direction, but I make a U-turn back to the correct direction today. I wanted to gamble but I decided to stop today.

I am very grateful that I did not suffer from the anxiety, worry and impulsive feelings on the NEXT bet, one LAST bet, one MORE bet as I had not placed my FIRST bet today.

Don’t wait until it is too late for regrets!

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.

[kin]

Hi marcus,

Congratulation on your 10 months gamble free day.

As your gamble free days grow, your bank account is growing.
What are you going to do to protect your money from gambling?

I cannot guarantee that I can stay gamble free for the rest of my life.
I cannot guarantee that I can stick to the plan all the way to the end for the rest of my life.

This is a happy problem.
How are you strengthening the barriers on your money?
How are you removing the risk and staying away from danger on your money?
What changes are you making to your lifestyle? If nothing change, nothing changes.

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.

[kin]

I have enough sleep. I could feel that my energy was recharged and restored to face a new day.
I have nothing in mind to post today until I have my quiet time over hot coffee and this thought cross my mind:

Everything was OK today and I felt OK today
Everything was OK yesterday but I did not felt OK
I realized how things can change so suddenly so quickly.

Everything was the same but yesterday I felt the urge; I wish to gamble to have more money.
Today I did not have any impulse to place the bet; I did not have any feeling of fear, worry, or anxiety from insufficient money. I was contented and very thankful that I was not in trouble today.

I did not gamble yesterday, I did not gamble today.
All the effort was to stay gamble free one day at a time.
It was harder to stay gamble free yesterday.

If I did not write it all down
I wouldn’t notice the things and differences that happen in my day.

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.

[kin]

Hi marcus,

Thank you for this post.

[Author]

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