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25 April 2018 at 2:04 am in reply to: This is my journey – I am not a counsellor, I was a recovering addict. #43105kinParticipant
Thank God, I spoke to the customer service officer from the telecommunication company, my auto roaming fee of SGD410 was reduce to SGD29. Phew! because I activated something I did not use.
kinParticipantHi Lizbeth4,
Life has not been smooth going and easy for you too. I just wish to share these with you.
1. Believe and have faith in Christ, gambling is not a solution.
2. In recovery, regardless what happen, gambling is not an option.
Not everyday is sunny day, there will be bad days, we will think or feel like gambling but our thoughts and feelings do not always reflect on the truth.
24 April 2018 at 7:12 pm in reply to: This is my journey – I am not a counsellor, I was a recovering addict. #43103kinParticipantWhat happen to me in the last 6 days was like a dream.
I wish it didn’t happen but I need to do it. I wish it was not an impulsive and compulsive decision.
I just need to persevere for another 22 weeks in my study.
I do not know what is my future now, I have just resign from my last job. I am going to live on faith and look for a new one.
I really don’t know very well what I am doing, if I do know, then my self-will is still in total control and not the Higher Power.
I am letting go of the steering wheel. There is no safety net below now.24 April 2018 at 6:31 pm in reply to: This is my journey – I am not a counsellor, I was a recovering addict. #43101kinParticipantIt was comforting in the heart knowing I have shown love and not hurt to my love one by the grace of God. I wish I can do this all the times.
How do I measure love and hurt in dollar and cents. I cannot buy that moment.
Many times it was always too late, the damage was done.
I cannot turn back the clock and I cannot repair with money.
24 April 2018 at 6:25 pm in reply to: This is my journey – I am not a counsellor, I was a recovering addict. #43100kinParticipant1. my mum and the warm weather
2. unexpected billI have activated the auto roaming service and incur ridiculously high charges for my phone bill.
The weather is hot tonight. My 88 years old mum wanted to use the fan I was using, of cos the priority goes to her but we have another fan standing next to her. I cannot think, I was just angry.
I took some time out and left home for a cup of coffee at the café. I was angry and gambling thought flashes in my mind.
After I have calm down, something tell me that my mum was like me, she does not know how to use the new fan just like I do not know how to use the auto roaming service.
When I reach home, I just switch on the fan standing next to her and tell her nicely if she need help to switch on the fan, just let anyone of us know.Thank God, I was able to be kind to my mum instead of wanting to be proven right, I cannot remember doing this on other occasions. I cannot resist proving others wrong and myself right. I can be harsh and unforgiving in my tone when I speak to someone. How many times have my mum and love ones been hurt by me this way.
A few hours ago, I just read the book of romans, yet my sinful nature still think of sinning when I was triggered.
Thank God, I believe and have faith in Christ, my solution is not gambling.
I have incurred a bomb from the auto roaming service, but it was my fault, just accept it and move on with life, it will be something that can be solve over time, everything should be fine.Charles have also reminded me today that regardless what happen, accept that gambling is no longer an option.
kinParticipantDear Maverick
We are the chosen one to walk this road. It has not been easy and smooth sailing for you recently. I sincerely hope that this will be your turning point.
I was there for my family too and they do not know my real situation right now.
I have found strength in reading the gospel / good news
Below are some points
The Book of Romans reveals God’s perfect solution to save and transform sinners
The good news is the power of God to transform lives
The good news was about what God has done for us in Christ.
The good news is not a list of what we must do. – righteousness cannot be earned by hard work or moral life but through faith in Christ.
An opportunity to experience life to the full
To restore a closer relationship with God
God command us to repent and turn from sin
Dear Heavenly Father, you have told us to ask in Jesus ‘s name and it shall be given. I am praying to you now to protect Maverick and family. I am asking you to give his wife total healing and recovery. I am asking you to provide for this family and let peace, calm, joy, security and happiness return and be restored to them. In Jesus almighty name I pray. Amen!
kinParticipantHi Charles,
Thank you for this message.
This call for obedience.
Regardless what happen, gambling is not an option.
23 April 2018 at 4:54 pm in reply to: This is my journey – I am not a counsellor, I was a recovering addict. #43099kinParticipantI have altered and change the write up for my convenient reference.
Delirium
Overview
Delirium is a serious disturbance in mental abilities that results in confused thinking and reduced awareness of your environment.
The start of delirium is usually rapid. – this really shock me, because I was focus, discipline and patient for so long, and suddenly, so fast and so unexpectedly, I was doing what I normally do not do,
What is Delirium?
Delirium is a medical word used to describe the condition that causes an unwell person to become confused in his thinking. This is a physical problem, not a psychological one.
What Causes Delirium?
• A physical illness etc flu, fever, encezma, high blood pressure
• Changes in the chemistry of the blood
• Metabolic imbalances
• Dehydration
• Sleep deprivation
• severe emotional distress
• Alcohol or drug abuse or withdrawal
Anyone can become delirious under certain circumstances of illness.
What Are My Signs and Symptoms of Delirium?
I had these symptoms of delirium:
• Being restless and unable to stay still;
• I could not sleep and climb out of bed
• Having restless spells that alternate with being tiredness and exhaustion.
• Changes in alertness
• Changes in feeling (sensation) and perception
• Changes in level of consciousness or awareness of my surrounding
• Changes in movement (for example, may be slow moving or hyperactive)
• Confusion (disorientation)
• Disorganized thinking – I will do things that I would not normally do
• Emotional or personality changes, such as at work, I was irritable and angry. I can even be paranoid and suspicious
• Movements triggered by changes in the nervous system
• Problem concentration
This experience felt like a nightmare or dream but all these happen while I am awake.Reduced awareness of the environment
This may result in:
• An inability to stay focused on a topic or to switch topics
• Getting stuck on an idea rather than changing plan
• Being easily distracted by unimportant things
• Being withdrawn, with little or no activity or little response to the environment
Poor thinking skills (cognitive impairment)
This may appear as:
• Poor memory, particularly of recent events
• Disorientation, for example, not knowing who you are
Behavior changes
This may include:
• Restlessness, agitation or combative behavior
• Calling out, moaning or making other sounds
• Being quiet and withdrawn — especially in older adults
• Slowed movement or lethargy
• Disturbed sleep habits
• Reversal of night-day sleep-wake cycleEmotional disturbances
This may appear as:
• Anxiety, fear or paranoia
• Depression
• Irritability or anger
• A sense of feeling elated (euphoria)
• Apathy
• Rapid and unpredictable mood shifts
• Personality changes
Types of delirium
Experts have identified three types of delirium:
• Hyperactive delirium. Probably the most easily recognized type, this may include restlessness (for example, pacing), agitation, rapid mood changes or hallucinations.
• Hypoactive delirium. This may include inactivity or reduced motor activity, sluggishness, abnormal drowsiness or seeming to be in a daze.
• Mixed delirium. This includes both hyperactive and hypoactive symptoms. The person may quickly switch back and forth from hyperactive to hypoactive states.
Delirium and dementia
Dementia and delirium may be particularly difficult to distinguish, and a person may have both. In fact, frequently delirium occurs in people with dementia.
Dementia is the progressive decline of memory and other thinking skills due to the gradual dysfunction and loss of brain cells. The most common cause of dementia is Alzheimer’s disease.
Some differences between the symptoms of delirium and dementia include:
• Onset. The onset of delirium occurs within a short time, while dementia usually begins with relatively minor symptoms that gradually worsen over time.
• Attention. The ability to stay focused or maintain attention is significantly impaired with delirium. A person in the early stages of dementia remains generally alert.
• Fluctuation. The appearance of delirium symptoms can fluctuate significantly and frequently throughout the day. While people with dementia have better and worse times of day, their memory and thinking skills stay at a fairly constant level during the course of a day.
Delirium occurs when the normal sending and receiving of signals in the brain become impaired.
This impairment is most likely caused by a combination of factors that make the brain vulnerable and trigger a malfunction in brain activity.
Prevention
The most successful approach to preventing delirium is to:
• target risk factors that might trigger an episode.
• promoting good sleep habits, helping the person remain calm and well-oriented,
• prevent medical problems or other complications — can help prevent or reduce the severity of delirium.
• Other types of drugs may help calm a person who misinterprets the environment in a way that leads to severe paranoia, fear or hallucinations, and when severe agitation or confusion occurs.Promote good sleep habits
To promote good sleep habits:
• Provide a calm, quiet environment
• Keep inside lighting appropriate for the time of day
• Plan for uninterrupted periods of sleep at night
Promote calmness and orientation
To help the person remain calm and well-oriented:
• Provide a clock and calendar and refer to them regularly throughout the day
• Keep familiar and favorite objects and pictures around, but avoid a cluttered environment
• Avoid arguments
• Use comfort measures, such as reassuring touch, when appropriate
• Keep noise levels and other distractions to a minimum
• Provide and maintain eyeglasses and hearing aids
Prevent complicating problems
Help prevent medical problems by:
• Giving the person the proper medication on a regular schedule
• Providing plenty of fluids and a healthy diet
• Encouraging regular physical activity
• Getting treatment for potential problems, such as infection or metabolic imbalances, early
What to expect from the doctor
The doctor is likely to ask a number of questions.
These are questions that I can relate to:
• What are the symptoms and when did they begin?
• Is there or was there a recent fever, cough or urinary tract infection?
• Was there a recent head injury or other trauma?
• What were the person’s memory and other thinking skills like before the symptoms started?
• How well did the person perform everyday activities before the onset of symptoms?
• Can he or she usually function independently?
• What other medical conditions have been diagnosed?
• Do you know if the person recently used drugs or alcohol? Does the person have a history of alcohol or drug abuse? Is there any change in the pattern of use, such as increasing or stopping use?
• Has the person recently appeared depressed, extremely sad or withdrawn?
• Has the person indicated that he or she does not feel safe?
• Are there any signs of paranoia?
• Are there any new physical symptoms?23 April 2018 at 4:50 pm in reply to: This is my journey – I am not a counsellor, I was a recovering addict. #43098kinParticipantFor the last 18 years, I have been troubled by behavioral issues that I cannot control.
I have consulted doctor more than once to check and was told I am not suffering from any depression, borderline personality disorder, bipolar etc. now.
How do you explain my restlessness, restless spells that alternate with being tiredness and exhaustion, agitation, doing things that I would not normally do, poor memory, calling out or making other sounds after binge drinking.
I really think I was crazy.
This week I have another episode but was able to read about it .
I actually feel relieve knowing all the above are symptom of delirium and not something more serious.
I can work on it from now onward.
It is a physical problem and not a psychological problem.kinParticipantDoing the right thing is more important than doing what I think or feel is right.
What I think or feel do not always reflect the truth.
The Truth was the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.
I do not need to change the Truth, I only need to follow the Truth and change myself.
23 April 2018 at 9:20 am in reply to: This is my journey – I am not a counsellor, I was a recovering addict. #43097kinParticipantDoing the right thing is more important than doing what I think or feel is right.
What I think or feel do not always reflect the truth.
The Truth was the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.
I do not need to change the Truth, I only need to follow the truth and change myself.
23 April 2018 at 9:15 am in reply to: This is my journey – I am not a counsellor, I was a recovering addict. #43096kinParticipantThe world says love yourself, grab all you can, follow your heart.
Jesus says deny yourself, grab your cross and follow me.~ Mathew 16: 24(Pastor Francis Chan)
What do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?
~Mathew 16:2622 April 2018 at 4:55 pm in reply to: This is my journey – I am not a counsellor, I was a recovering addict. #43094kinParticipantSTOP
Take a LONGER BREAK to look at the current situation
There is NO NEED for immediate action.
Adopt a WAIT AND SEE.
It is NOT TOO LATE to THINK carefully FIRST before I decide LATER
Because I do not have this habit, it has cause me a lot of inconvenience in my relationship, work, debt management and recovery
I have hurt others and myself as a result.
22 April 2018 at 12:55 pm in reply to: This is my journey – I am not a counsellor, I was a recovering addict. #43093kinParticipantHi I did it,
It doesn’t change the fact that we are still more vulnerable and prone to a full blown relapse than any other normal person, they don’t have a gambling problem.
Nothing changes that fact regardless of how long I have not gamble.
I depended on my experience thought and feeling to help me made decision or judgement every single time. It has fail me many times because they do not alway reflect the truth
My action can change as my thoughts and feelings on the same matter change.
They are not the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.
Anything that rely and depend on my thought and feeling is not reliable and cannot be trusted because it may not reflect the truth.
kinParticipantI have learn in recovery that you don’t have to follow your thought and feeling, they may not reflect the truth.
I started to practice writing about my thought, feeling and action plan more than 15 years ago.
I may think about suicide, gambling, binge drinking or eating but I don’t have to do it.
I don’t feel like exercising, going to recovery support group meeting and reading the 12 steps recovery program, attending church or reading the bible but I can do it.
I may feel like playing doctor and not taking my anti depressants but I shall continue to take my medication unless the doctor told me so….
I thought and feel like clearing my debt quickly but I had a choice, i can choose to do it slowly over a longer time, it is less stressful this way.
It was a doctor who taught me to start writing down my thought, my feeling and action plan everyday. The doctor was concern that I was suicidal, it was due to the depression.
After I have recovered from depression, the suicidal thoughts have also disappear.
Hope this can help you too.
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