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I accept my weakness but it is no excuse.
Gambling is not an option, solution or answer.

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1. Listening to my own lies and deceit, that it will not end in destruction this time, I will be very careful.

2. It was permissible to do responsible gambling, losing only surplus money without affecting the livelihood of my family. In another words, losing money that I can afford.

3. Desiring for more money that belong to others. I am not harming another person, the money belong to the casino.

4. I need entertainment, it will be a fun and enjoyable past time.

I will think of new reasons all the time so that I can gamble.

Half truth is still a lie. Everyone of them are lies I use to convince myself that it was all right to gamble.

The truth is I can do other thing beside gambling. The truth about gambling is one of destruction, it brings trouble and distress into my life.

Regardless of the situation, gambling is no longer an option, solution or an answer.

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The truth challenges my attempt to make excuses.

The terrifying reality reveals the secrets in my heart.

It will expose my arrogant, willfulness, selfish, greed, self-righteousness, unrepentant, unremorseful, unashame and self-seeking ways.

When I suppress the truth, I was rejecting the truth. I have become stubborn, willful and refuse to repent. I deserve the consequences because I ask for it.

It teaches us to do the right thing even if it is not popular and no one is doing it. It teaches us not to do the wrong thing even if it was popular and everybody is doing it. I have no excuse to gamble.

Thank you God.

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God, family, recovery, work, exercise, diet.

I have lost my focus on my priority and discipline. Once I stop exercising, start to binge eat, stay up late surfing the internet longer than I should, chances is my life beginning to lose control and fall apart.

Matthew 6:31-34 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

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Self-Deception is the action or practice of allowing oneself to believe that a false or invalidated feeling, idea, or situation is true.

My Self-deception, lies and falsehood have cause me into believing that gambling was the right thing to do; an answer and solution to my problem.

Something is wrong with me and my beliefs, because if everyone can make money from gambling, they do not need to work anymore.

My Self-righteousness makes me think and feel that I was different and special, I think that I can make money through gambling.

The truth was gambling brought chaos and destruction into my life EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Galatians 6:3 – If anyone thinks himself to be something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Sometimes people do not want to admit what they are really like, so they deceive themselves into thinking they are better than they are.

1 Corinthians 3:18 – Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you seems to be wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise. People often think they are so smart that they fool themselves into believing error.

James 1:22 Do not merely listen to the Word and so deceive yourselves, do what it says.

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My Thought: I continue to have gambling thought today. I could not stop the thoughts. 

My Feeling:  It can get very tiring trying to stop the thought but I must not give up trying to stay stop gambling.

My Action:  I did not gamble today.

Running thought are just passing thought, I did not hold on to it. Today was not a bad day, my thought did not keep repeating itself and replay itself like a spoilt tape recorder. It just go away and disappear this time. 

I remember seeing this which does encourages  me today.

Galatians 6:9

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

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The most EFFECTIVE and HONEST way in recovery is also the most HUMBLE and HARD WORKING ones. These people put in effort and works hard to stay gamble free everyday especially on a bad day.

It did not happen naturally, it was not a co incident or accident. It was a choice and well informed decision. They have accepted that they cannot gamble anymore.

REGARDLESS of what happen in life

REGARDLESS of HOW MANY THOUGHTS TO GAMBLE APPEAR.

Gambling was not their option, it was not their solution. They made no excuse to gamble.

You want to know my falsehood and lies. Allow me to share with you my lies. I thought and feel that gambling on some day is “OK.” when it was “NOT OK”, it was “NEVER OK.” I have loads of excuses to gamble.

Personally I have struggle to stay honest and humble every day. Some day is not every day. It was better than no day but it was still not every day. This is NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO STAY OUT OF TROUBLE.

I have to learn to be honest by admitting my dishonesty. I have to learn to stay gamble free by admitting I gamble when I do. I had to work hard to keep the gamble free day, this is repeated everyday, one day at a time.

I have to DIE TO LIVE, and SURRENDER TO WIN, Each gamble free day is a celebrated success for an OUT OF CONTROL compulsive problem gambler. This is really simple and nothing to a normal person but everything to us. Our LIFE AND DEATH depends on it. 

Counting days is a commitment. Every little baby steps forward  gives strength, hope, motivation and encouragement to the person.

There are good days and bad days. On a bad day, it is easier and less painful to gamble than to not gamble. it take a lot more commitment, determination, willpower, effort and pain to add one more gamble free day on a tough day .

I really take my hat off and salute everyone doing this now, you are my hero and role model.

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Hi I did it, I have been reading and still reading the book of Romans. It has took me one week to finish one chapter. I have attended 8 lectures but I have only finished the homework for the first 3. I am a very slow learner. The heavy reading is affecting my thoughts plus the recent struggle in living life. It has cause me to write a lot of garbage in GT lately to help me let out my frustration and restless energy.

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My biggest problem is falling prey to my falsehood and lies. I only listen and follow my self-deceptions;

It has make me think that others are not helping me, resentment against others has develop and grow, it has cause me to resign from my job many times, most importantly it has make me think that I can control the beast of gambling, drinking, and eating. 

What I thought and feel does not reflect the truth.

In the past, I never listen; I only trust myself
I ended up listening to my own lies and self deception.
My ultimate punishment was continued binge gambling, drinking and eating.

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I would be lying if I say that I was sinless in recovery
but the good news is I have sin less now.

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Dear Heavenly Father, “I ask two things from you, please do not refuse me:

Please keep deceptions (falsehood) and lies far from me;

Please do not give me poverty or riches, but give me only my daily bread.

Otherwise, I may have too much and forget you and say, ‘Who is the LORD ?’

Or I may become poor and steal, gamble and dishonor your name, God”

Dear God, I need balance in my lives. As I come before You today, I ask that You teach me how to acquire this balance and live my life that are pleasing in Your sight! In Jesus’s almighty name I pray. Amen.

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Our world seems to be made up of primarily two classes:  the haves and the have nots! The poor and the rich. Those who have too much, and those who do not have enough.

“LORD, Please Give Me Just Enough!”

“Two things I ask of you, O LORD; do not refuse me before I die:

Keep falsehood and lies far from me;

give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread.

Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the LORD ?’

Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God. . .”

Proverbs 30: 7-9, NIV.

Dear God, we need balance in our lives. As we come before You today, we ask that You will teach us how to acquire this balance and then live lives that are pleasing in Your sight! In the name of Jesus we pray. Amen.

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Responsibility – We learn to love and provide for the family. It is better to give than to receive.

It was a curse to lose every single cent to gambling every payday.

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Why wait? Why wait until you have to beg for a chance to change after a heavy sentence. Why don’t you take the chance and change when it was given to you FREE now.

I better resume my exercise and diet, and stop my binge eating, drinking, gambling and surfing the net.

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I imagine if I was judge in court for my gambling, the judge will tell me the following:

You are given so MANY CHANCES

You have ABUSED the trust and WASTED every opportunities every single time.

This was your LAST CHANCE but you continued to DISOBEY

Your conduct has been UNREMORSEFUL and UNREPENDENT

Your behavior was WILFUL and IRRESPONSIBLE

You are hereby sentence GUILTY!

Why wait? Why wait until you have to beg for a chance to change after a heavy sentence. Why don’t you take the chance and change when it was given to you FREE now.

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