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  • in reply to: Struggling and Can’t Sleep #45937
    kin
    Participant

    This story was about a mountain climber, who wanted to climb the highest mountain. He began his adventure after many years of preparation, but since he wanted the glory just for himself, he decided to climb the mountain alone. The night felt heavy in the heights of the mountains, and the man could not see anything. All was black. Zero visibility, and the moon and the stars were covered by the clouds.

    As he was climbing, only a few feet away from the top of the mountain, he slipped and fell into the air, falling at a great speed. The climber could only see black spots as he went down, and the terrible sensation of being sucked by gravity. He kept falling… and in those moments of great fear, it came to his mind all the good and bad episodes of his life. He was thinking now about how close death was getting, when all of a sudden he felt the rope tied to his waist pull him very hard.

    His body was hanging in the air. Only the rope was holding him, and in that moment of stillness he had no other choice but scream, “HELP ME GOD!!”

    All of a sudden, a deep voice coming from the sky answered, “What do you want Me to do?”

    “Save me God!!”

    “Do you really think I can save you?”

    “Of course I believe You can.”

    “Then cut the rope tied to your waist.”

    There was a moment of silence and the man decided to hold on to the rope with all his strength.

    The rescue team found the climber dead and frozen on the next day…his body hanging from a rope – His hands holding tight to the rope only 10 feet away from the ground.

    When are you going to let go of the gambling?

    in reply to: Struggling and Can’t Sleep #45936
    kin
    Participant

    Chapter 1
    I walk down the street, There is a deep hole in the sidewalk, I fall in. I am lost.I am hopeless, It takes forever to find a way out.
    Chapter 2
    I walk down the same street, There is a deep hole in the sidewalk, I pretend I dun see it, I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place. But I believe it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.
    Chapter 3
    I walk down the same street, There is a deep hole in the sidewalk, I see it is there I still fall in, it‘s a habit I know where I am It is my fault I get out immediately.
    Chapter 4
    I walk down the same street, There is a deep hole in the sidewalk, I walk around it.
    Chapter 5
    I walk down another street.
    Where are you now?

    kin
    Participant

    There are four stages of Gambling; Winning Stage, Losing Stage, Desperation Stage, and Hopeless Stage.

    Gambling is like cooking a steak, there are a few stages; the rare stage, medium stage and well cooked stage. When the gambler reaches a stage where they are cooked and loses their self control, the brakes are gone and the speeding car can only stop after it crashes.

    It was useless trying to control the alcohol when you are drunk

    in reply to: Acceptance #44336
    kin
    Participant

    The only thing predictable and certain about gambling was debts , losing all and regrets. I am very happy and grateful with the way things are right now. I accept that my meager income dont leave any for the future, but it is enough to pay for the next bill and gambling would change everything.  I am not going to exchange the peace and contentment I have now for stress and misery.

    kin
    Participant

    пальцы вверх!!!

    Я скучаю по тебе, Вере, Пи, Бетти, Кену, Полу, Чарльзу и остальным здесь.

    in reply to: To live, that would be a great adventure #45729
    kin
    Participant

    thumbs up!!!

    I have miss you, Vera, P, Bettie, Ken, Paul, Charles and the rest here.

    in reply to: Acceptance #44335
    kin
    Participant

    A man named Sei Weng owned a beautiful mare which was praised far and wide. One day this beautiful horse disappeared. The people of his village offered sympathy to Sei Weng for his great misfortune. Sei Weng said simply, “That’s the way it is.”

    A few days later the lost mare returned, followed by a beautiful wild stallion. The village congratulated Sei Weng for his good fortune. He said, “That’s the way it is.”

    Some time later, Sei Weng’s only son, while riding the stallion, fell off and broke his leg. The village people once again expressed their sympathy at Sei Weng’s misfortune. Sei Weng again said, “That’s the way it is.”

    Soon thereafter, war broke out and all the young men of the village except Sei Weng’s lame son were drafted and were killed in battle. The village people were amazed as Sei Weng’s good luck. His son was the only young man left alive in the village. But Sei Weng kept his same attitude: despite all the turmoil, gains and losses, he gave the same reply, “That’s the way it is.”

    in reply to: Acceptance #44333
    kin
    Participant

    I accept this fact and truth; right now, my bills are getting paid but everything shall change when I start gambling.

    I am contented and grateful to be gamble free today.

    kin
    Participant

    Living The Truth

    What is the Purpose of my Life moving ahead and why am I doing what I am doing?

    Peace Joy Happiness Contentment Gratitude

    The greatest motivation of all is LOVE and HOPE

    Recovery on the “war path”

    kin
    Participant

    I was angry but I didn’t throw the first punch, I walk away.

    My head was thinking all the time; If I hit this person, I will be place behind bar. I didn’t want to go to jail.

    Again it shows that I cannot control the people, places and thing but I can control my reaction and responses to them.

    I cannot guarantee what happen after the first bet, I may WIN and bet somemore, or LOSE and bet somemore but if I can choose not to place the first bet, I would stay stop.

    kin
    Participant

    What does it feel like to have heartache now. It really hurts and the natural thing for me to do next in these situations to comfort myself was either alcohol or gambling. Both are wrong and bad choices, I felt it but I did not gamble or drink today.

    It was good to know that I may not have been gambling or drinking but I can still feel like gambling and drinking and when it happen next time, I will not be shock and be caught by it.

    There are good days and bad days, not everyday is a sunny day; bad things can happen to both good and bad people.

    This is life, this too shall pass.

    kin
    Participant

    It has always been a part of my life. It is time for a change.

    in reply to: Dont Get Trapped, Just Let Go Of The Banana #44164
    kin
    Participant

    In recovery, it’s very easy to give example

    but it’s very difficult to become an example.

    kin
    Participant

    I have just walk away from my previous job which was too stressful and can trigger me back to my old ways for one that require me to work longer hours and pay lesser but is giving me more peace and calm everyday.

    I have resigned from my position as a senior officer in a bank to work as a security officer. It does not make sense to a normal person but I am trying to change my lifestyle completely.

    I hope this move can keep me safe in recovery. I have travel so far and this is just one of my way to survive. I may be gamble free now but I am still the same SO who did not gamble. 

    kin
    Participant

    I remember everything was fine. I was in total control. Not betting on every hand, patiently hunting and moving from table to table searching for the opportunity and waiting for the right moment to go for the kill.

    I did not know at that time, that my brain was being fried all the time while I was gambling, it was only a matter of time before it get cooked.

    When that happen, all the patience, experience and skills that I have if any in the beginning could not save me in the end because at the other end of the gambling, I would turn into the finished cook product, This is when the moment of insanity will strike, my brain will get HIJACK, I would become impatience, impulsive, rash, reckless and irresponsible.

    I have fallen into the casino ‘s hand. When I lost all control of my mind, the casino knew I could not walk away from the next bet, only a person who is in control can do that.

    What happen next is predictable. I would be betting every hand instead of waiting for the right moment, I would be chasing losses and doubling my bet in every hand. I would not and will not want to stop when I was losing and winning.

    Where did the same calm, collected and in control person who have patiently hunted for many hours who could walk away from winning, losses and the next bet disappear to? I wonder for years….

    I have done it many times in the beginning and can stop gambling “at will” with ease and still keep my peace and calm but it was not the same in the end and everything changes because I will be overwhelmed by this very powerful negative emotion; I hated the feeling of losing this one bet and loses all my peace. If I stop gambling, I would suffer from anxiety,  discomfort, and restlessness.

    I want to change thing when I really don’t need to do so because I was still in the winning phrase despite three straight losses. This was my blind spot and mistake. I can choose to stop and still be a winner overall, but I don’t want to stop, so the end result was always the same.

    In a few insane moments, everything that took me hours to accumulate will be wipeout in minutes. It all happened so fast, when I realize what had happen, it was already too late.

    Unfortunately, whether I am taking alcohol or gambling, It was the same. I am actually cooking my brain, when it got cooked, I have no more control over myself and I could not stop at will anymore.

    I no longer envy gambler A who have so much winning and can continue to gamble big on selected hands. I no longer envy gambler B who can walk away from winning and losses, he will be back looking for opportunity to gamble again. As long as the gambler is still in action, he will be cooked in the end.

    I will reach a state of drunkardness in gambling just like in alcohol, losing my self-control and self-destructing. Win or lose, I self-destruct, that is the way it is.

Viewing 15 posts - 4,426 through 4,440 (of 5,549 total)