[kin]

Met a young man in GA today.

Told him about GT and how keeping a journal here helps.

First thing first

Stop gambling, there will be no more new gambling debts

Stop gambling, slowly and surely the debt will be repaid and fully paid up one day.

First thing first

Set up all the barriers

Reduce the likelihood of access to gambling place

Reduce the free time to gamble

Reduce access to money for gambling

Stop feeding the selfish, self-centered, self-seeking demon, feed the family first, before servicing the remaining outstanding loans…over time the person will learn how to be more responsible and loving, less selfish, less self-centered and self-seeking.

Keep coming back to attend meetings

Everything is in the hand of God.It is God’s will, not mine.

Bro Ken, I remember what you told me. Throw the life saver to the person struggling in the water from shore every single time, not jump in the water with him.

The young man need to made his own decision, no one forces him to change, he has the free will to make his own choice.

Do the next right thing, one thing at a time. One baby step at a time. One day at a time 

[kin]

Thank God, I can be busy and still have time to get proper rest now. I woke up today realizing that I have slept more than 12 hours. I cannot remember doing this for a long time.

[kin]

Hi Monica,
I am not hiding my weakness, I want it to be out in the open so that I can watch for its presence and not be caught by surprise because by the time it go on auto pilot, it is normally too late.

[kin]

Support!

[kin]

My Panic Attack and Anxiety

As the start date for my new job on the 17^th Oct 2018 draw near… I experiences many worry but after 3 days on the job, I was very relief, all the anxieties and worries I had previously were unnecessary.

I risk falling into big trouble, as I am prone to self-medicating during these times and gamble. I have gambled countless times in the past but this time I did other things instead and survive the experience, writing journal, jogging, watching movie, attending recovery support groups, talking to other people, watch and listen to sermon. 

Anxious or not, fearful or not, panic or not, pressurize or not, stress or not, suffering or not, painful or not, bored or not, sleepy and tired or not, restless or not… they are not an excuse to gamble!

I need to understand that there is nothing wrong.

I only need to have more acceptance and tolerant, I do not need to panic and gamble.

This is one very important survival skill to practice and pick up.

Now I am slowly settling into a new schedule. I have a full-time job that require me to work 9 am to 6 pm Monday to Friday. I work part time from 8pm to 8 am on Saturday evening only.

Sunday is my rest day.

[kin]

I did not get what I want.

Today I can see what God has given me, it was everything I need to get what I want.

I was living blindly, I had eyes but cannot see previously. 

Day 13 gamble free today.

[kin]

Recovery is the healing or process of becoming better emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually and financially.

[kin]

Sound like more peace and freedom!

[kin]

I have been binge eating lately, and not been fasting and the next best thing I can do now was jogging. It was a beginning, one baby step at a time until it become a regular habit. Done it 3 times, and once every 3 days, there is a lot of room for improvement.

[kin]

Binge eating, gambling and drinking was my self-medication when I feel pressurize, stress, discomfort, hardships, anxieties, suffering, anger, injustice, betrayal, pain, boredom, restless and tired etc.

I planned my relapse, I allow it to happen, the rest is history.

The behavior was predictable, it will go on auto pilot. It was scary watching myself lose all self-control in the end.

[kin]

1.Compulsive Gambling:

This is likely the type of behavior that comes to mind when most people think of a gambling addiction. Here a person is unable to control their desire to gamble. The compulsive gambler will continue to play whether they win or lose, regardless of the consequences. They will also look for opportunities to make bets and wagers even when they know they cannot afford to lose. This is also known as pathological gambling.

2. Binge Gambling:

As the name would suggest, this person exhibit compulsive gambling symptoms only at certain times. A binge gambler may appear to be in control of their problem, as they might go weeks or months without exhibiting any signs of being a problem gambler. However, their compulsive gambling behaviors will reveal themselves when they do start betting, even if these occasions are rare.

3. Problem Gambling:

Even if a person is not entirely addicted to the point of compulsion, it is possible that their gambling habits may not be entirely in their control. A problem gambler is someone who has some sort of gambling behavior that is disturbing their normal life. This can often be identified when a person begins to find themselves chasing losses, lying to loved ones about their betting habits, or starts to realize that they cannot seem to stop themselves from gambling more and more often.

[kin]

Dear diary,

If I am able to stay on this new job for the next 12 months without any gambling. My situation will improve, the credit card bills and the bank loan will be fully paid on top of the things to do and pay every month.

I am breaking them down into 3 sums of SGD$2,500, $5000 and $4000.  I would like to clear $2,500 by the end of this year before I work on the rest next year.

I have another 76 more days to go to see how I finished the year. Gambling is one of the thing that can ruin it for me, it is like the thief that comes only to steal, kill and destroy.

John 10:10

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.

In the past, the family gets nothing until I clear my loans, I feed the bank and money lender first. Today I see permanent change inside me, I feed the family first before the bank and money lender if there are any.

Gambling only made matter worst. It create more new holes after I cover up the old ones. The debt remain and grew bigger, the family never get fed by me.

[kin]

The advice I gave myself in early recovery.

No more excuses and reasons! Stop the gambling first.

When you are in a hole, stop digging!

[kin]

Hi Lizbeth4,

Thank you for sharing with us your daily journey, it has certainly help me feel that I was not alone.

As I write to you every time, I was also checking myself.

Today I can feel my body-aches and pain from the exercise yesterday, my stomach cramp and back hurt.

I worked 12 hours last night doing relief part time work and will be working again tonight, I am losing sleep doing this work, it can be tiring in the long run.

My biggest worry will be on how I cope on the new job. My anxiety is growing with 3 more days to new job start date.

If this is another person, I would have advised the person;

1. not to do too many things in too little time.

2. It is alright to stretch the repayment plan as long as we are not gambling.

3. Once the gambling stop, the debts is not going to increase. My debt increases every single time because I return to gambling.

4. Be careful not to slip into auto-pilot, because people like me react naturally to pressure, stress, hardship, suffering, tiredness and pain, I will automatically self-medicate and find a quick fix through gambling, alcohol, food etc.

5. Focus on the present moment, live one day at a time, take one baby step at a time.

6. Stay focus, be patient and tolerant of any daily problem I face.

7. List of potential things to do to replace gambling; attend Church service and recovery support group meetings, jogging, mindfulness exercise, fasting…

I cannot change the damage and what I did in the past, but I really hope that I can made amend to repair and improve the relationships with my family, friends and people I know in my remaining years.

I have many financial commitments, but I already notice one big change in me, it did not happen overnight, I used to be more selfish and self-centered.

I have credit card and bank loan to service too, but I choose to contribute to the family and pay my other necessities first before I used the remaining to top up the minimum payment.

I was a total failure in the past, I always use my own debts as an excuse not to contribute a single cent to my family. Every time I clear my credit card debt and bank loan, I will borrow and gamble again. I feel so frustrated and disappointed with myself each time. I question myself very hard so many times why I gambled and keep repeating the same problem all over again so many times.

I totally lost any confident and trust in myself because I felt so helpless and hopeless when I watch myself losing all self-control in my life because of gambling.

Guess it was the power of God, and years of taking one baby step at a time, suddenly I was also able to do what any normal person could do such as contributing to the family. This has given me hope in recovery and to keep on trying…

Luke 18:27

Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”

Luke 10:27

He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'”

All Glory Be To God Alone.

[kin]

Hi Lizbeth4,

Thank you for sharing with us your daily journey, it has certainly help me feel that I was not alone.

As I write to you every time, I was also checking myself.

Today I can feel my body-aches and pain from the exercise yesterday, my stomach cramp and back hurt.

I worked 12 hours last night doing relief part time work and will be working again tonight, I am losing sleep doing this work, it can be tiring in the long run.

My biggest worry will be on how I cope on the new job. My anxiety is growing with 3 more days to new job start date.

If this is another person, I would have advised the person;

1. not to do too many things in too little time.

2. It is alright to stretch the repayment plan as long as we are not gambling.

3. Once the gambling stop, the debts is not going to increase. My debt increases every single time because I return to gambling.

4. Be careful not to slip into auto-pilot, because people like me react naturally to pressure, stress, hardship, suffering, tiredness and pain, I will automatically self-medicate and find a quick fix through gambling, alcohol, food etc.

5. Focus on the present moment, live one day at a time, take one baby step at a time.

6. Stay focus, be patient and tolerant of any daily problem I face.

7. List of potential things to do to replace gambling; attend Church service and recovery support group meetings, jogging, mindfulness exercise, fasting…

I cannot change the damage and what I did in the past, but I really hope that I can made amend to repair and improve the relationships with my family, friends and people I know in my remaining years.

I have many financial commitments, but I already notice one big change in me, it did not happen overnight, I used to be more selfish and self-centered.

I have credit card and bank loan to service too, but I choose to contribute to the family and pay my other necessities first before I used the remaining to top up the minimum payment.

I was a total failure in the past, I always use my own debts as an excuse not to contribute a single cent to my family. Every time I clear my credit card debt and bank loan, I will borrow and gamble again. I feel so frustrated and disappointed with myself each time. I question myself very hard so many times why I gambled and keep repeating the same problem all over again so many times.

I totally lost any confident and trust in myself because I felt so helpless and hopeless when I watch myself losing all self-control in my life because of gambling.

Guess it was the power of God, and years of taking one baby step at a time, suddenly I was also able to do what any normal person could do such as contributing to the family. This has given me hope in recovery and to keep on trying…

Luke 18:27

Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.”

Luke 10:27

He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'”

All Glory Be To God Alone.

[Author]

Posts