[kin]

they never fail to open up my eyes in wonder.

there is so much we can learn from you.

[kin]

Today is my 23rd gamble free day.

Hi Monica, Your message is well received with thanks!

Carefully and slowly. Easy does it.

[kin]

Recovery is the healing or process of becoming better mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially.

Please do not be too hard on yourself, self care, love and support is so important. It is going to be a long and slow journey for everyone here but you are not alone.

I wish you success in your recovery! One baby step at a time.

[kin]

Everyone got to do the same thing. Yesterday has passed, and tomorrow have not arrive. Everyone just need to focus on staying gamble free today.

[kin]

Please get well soon and wishing you a speedy recovery!

[kin]

I don’t understand what this mean
Experience One
The people who criticize me and the person who helps me many years ago is close and seeking help from him now.
Experience Two
A help seeker and friend ask me to help her stay away from the group a year ago but today she was close to the group and I was treated like an outsider by her and the group.
I don’t know what happen, really.
I can only understand that these people are judgmental of me.
I was judgmental and deserve to be judge and condemn by others too. What goes around comes around.

[kin]

Mercy refers to the kind or forgiving treatment of someone who could be treated harshly.

Mercy is God not punishing me as my sins deserve

Grace is God blessing me despite the fact that I do not deserve it.

Forgiveness refers to letting go of the anger and resentment against a person.

Judgment is a sentence 

I seek mercy, grace and forgiveness from God.

Am I a merciful, graceful and forgiving or judgmental person?

[kin]

Holloween Weekend:  The place, the people, the party atmosphere, the music, the fun

I have time and money. Still it was not a good excuse to pick up my first drink.

21st gamble free day.

[kin]

Stop judging and condemning others, extend grace to them.

Judgment is a sentence

Grace is giving to others what they don’t deserve

Judgment brings shame and guilt on others, these people will withdraw and leave.

Realistic expectation and love can attract people to stay and help them grow.

Jesus Christ was the mediator between God, the judge and us, man the sinner.

~1 Timothy 2:5

Have mercy instead of judgment

20th gamble free day

 

[kin]

Hi Vera,
I google on what the bible say about lending and found below for reference

Luke 6:34-38 ESV
And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”

[kin]

Luke 6:34-38 ESV

And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”    

Psalm 37:21 ESV 

The wicked borrows but does not pay back, but the righteous is generous and gives;

[kin]

In the past

My Thoughts

I have huge credit cards debt and I was worried I cannot pay up on time.

My Feelings

I felt very anxious, impatient, fearful and insecure.

My Action Plan

I decided to gamble. This is the quickest way to increase my money

Nowadays

My Thoughts

I still have credit card debts. I was worried, but if I do not gamble, there will not be new gambling debt and the current one will not grow bigger. Slowly and surely, the debt will be repaid and reduced over time and fully paid up one day.

My Feeling

Calm, patient, and hopeful

My Action Plan

I decided to spread out my repayment plan over a longer period of time to make sure my family and living expenses was not affected and also, to ease my stress and burden.

I accepted and tolerate this truth. I learn to live with my debt.

I hope you find this exercise helpful

[kin]

Hi Laura,

I am so sorry to hear that you have gamble.

Below was an exercise that a doctor suggested to me close to 20 years ago, she told me to write down my thought, feeling and action plan.

In the past

My Thought

I have huge credit card debt and I was worried I cannot pay up on time.

My Feeling

I felt very anxious, impatient, fearful and insecure.

My Action Plan

I decided to gamble. This is the quickest way to increase my money.

Nowadays

My Thought

I still have credit card debts. I was worried, but if I do not gamble, there will not be new gambling debt and the current one will not grow bigger. Slowly and surely, the debt will be repaid and reduced over time and fully paid up one day.

My Feeling

Calm and patient, and hopeful

My Action Plan

I decided to spread out my repayment plan over a longer period of time to make sure my family and living expenses was not affected and also, to ease my stress and burden.

I accepted and tolerate the truth. I learn to live with my debt.

I hope you find this exercise helpful 

[kin]

Every old friend here has at one time or another encouraged me the same thing which was not to be too hard on myself, love myself more and also, I was stronger than I think.

This is my story one

But I was like that big elephant that was chained up for many years, I still believe that I was chain up after I was freed, I still think that I was trapped and dared not leave my prison.

This is my story two

We are always told not to place the first bet or first gamble, not to pick up the first drink.

But I like to jump back into same hole, and test whether this time will be different.

Without fail every single time, after I have drop into the hole, I found out that the hole was too deep, and realize I was in trouble again. By then it was too late, and I regretted my foolish act.

If I was given a second chance, I would not jump in the same hole again.

Today was my 19^th gamble free day.

I have made myself very busy and full in the last 7 days. It was time to slow down and catch up with some good rest and sleep today.

[kin]

Having work 12 hours a day 6 days a week, I have become very grateful for the 9 hours work 5 day work week I get now. I found myself with more time everyday that I can fully use.

I have been getting in touch with different recovery support groups and friends over the last week. Experience has taught me to do this seriously to protect my recovery because people, places and things can change, they can come and go. Take away any one, any group, or any thing, I will still not be greatly affected because my support continues to be strong. This was something I learn more than 10 years ago and has been building this support network for years.

All glory goes to God, my recovery is not co dependent on any one group or one person, my recovery center on my God, Jesus Christ.

Beside raising my standard and self-expectation. I no longer want to allow myself to continue sinning and doing wrong with this perfect excuse that no man is perfect.

My expectation is realistic and achievable, I stay clean one day at a time.

Counting days helps me to sustain in the long run.

Attending different group meetings and sharing allow me to check myself for any signs of stinking thinking regularly.

The unexpected meeting with a young man 2 months ago and seeing his progress change me. Receiving the highest compliment from him frighten me, I didn’t want to lose my humility.

I must be honest to admit that I was very undeserving and unworthy, all the glory should go to God, it was not my plan to help him or be there for him on that fateful night. I was just a messenger, I happen to be there at the right time and right place.

The experience with this young man has motivated me to make myself open and available to any young person seeking help. I made a big difference to this one starfish (starfish story).

Many times, I cannot help him on my own but my God, the recovery support groups, the 12 steps recovery program and the many recovery friends I have can help him do what I cannot do for him.

Every loving 12 steps teacher I know told me the same thing, not to worry, your presence will help, you only need to share your story and experience.

Gambling comes to rob, steal and destroy!

[Author]

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