[kin]

It was all about attending the all addictions anonymous group 12 steps recovery support group meeting in the afternoon and working part time relief security work in the night.

36th gamble free day.

[kin]

In the past, I tried to stop gambling first hoping to change myself in the end but fail. Today I chooses to change myself on the inside first, to stop the gambling habit in the end.

[kin]

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial …

I have witness how others judge, criticize, humiliated, scolded and treated my first and second mentor with no respect when they reach out to suffering addicts.

It was like that for my first mentor 13 years ago and it was the same for my second and current mentor 13 years later in my recovery.

I told both mentor that I do not want to be like them. I strongly feel that both of them do not owe any one of this suffering addict a living to deserve all these ill treatments.

The rest is history.

I only realize today that I was also applying step 12 in my recovery nowadays. I was treated the same now, I was shouted at, despise, ordered around, taken advantage by these unwell people. I was ready and not angry at them.

Everything is in God’s hand.

[kin]

I have made a decision to reach out to others in real life.

I have been reaching out to strangers I met in recovery who still want to gamble and stop gambling at the same time, quit drinking and drinking at the same time.

They told me they still gamble or drink but I continue to be hopeful. I was given a free will and choice to seek God and the recovery program, the same apply to them. It is God’s will, God’s timing not mine.

I have chosen mercy, grace, humility and forgiveness over judgment, and condemnation. Without it, it was like me walking into a war zone and getting slaughtered.

Without God, I am nothing!

John 8:7

⁷When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”

One day, one of them decided to stop. It change my life. I no longer care how I look infront of others anymore. I wasn’t aware that I was already applying step 12.

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to other suffering addict, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

33rd gamble free day.

[kin]

Every relapse that keep happening to me, happen for a reason, it has help me to seek and find the Truth. The Truth will set you free.

John 14:6

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

Jeremiah 16:19

O LORD, my strength and my stronghold, And my refuge in the day of distress, To You the nations will come From the ends of the earth and say, “Our fathers have inherited nothing but falsehood, futility and things of no profit.”

[kin]

James 1:12

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial… because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the LORD has promised to those who love him.

[kin]

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the LORD has promised to those who love him.

[kin]

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the LORD has promised to those who love him.

[kin]

The most satisfying thing for me was not staying gamble free but knowing I have work hard and provided for the family today.

It was something I did not do, something I was ashamed, and guilty for many years, however, everything changes after I came to believe that God could restore me to sanity.

James 4:11-12

Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law.

But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge.

There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

[kin]

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.

These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.

Beautiful people do not just happen.”

― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

[kin]

Chapter 1

I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk, I fall in. I am lost, I am hopeless. It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk, I pretend I dun see it, I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place. But I believe it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk, I see it is there, I still fall in. It ‘s a habit. I know where I am. It is my fault, I get out immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk, I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.

Where are you now?

[kin]

Dear Monica,

You are an inspiration to many!

Psalm 69:6

Everyone is like a pot that carries life.

But not everyone carries a presence that blesses others.

Religion tries to force people to follow laws to make them perfect, like pots without cracks. But if a light is put within a flawless pot and then covered, no one can see the light inside the pot. Perfect pots are not able to reveal internal light to illumine the way for others.

God choose to shine through imperfect, cracked pots. People are blessed when their cracked pot let the light of God shine through into other cracked pots.

Choose to be a glory filled, cracked pot rather than an empty, pretty vessel.

[kin]

How badly do you want to stop gambling?

Do you really want to stop gambling? Because when the gambling stop, the problem you are going to face everyday living life is not going to disappear and stop.

If the condition is not right, and there is great discomfort, stress, hardship, pain and suffering in your life. Are you going to self-medicate and return to gamble?

Are you ready to stop gambling regardless of how you feel and think every day?

Are you going to accept and live with this, not numb it with gambling.

When you are ready to start. You only need to stop gambling today, tomorrow you repeat the same thing. One day at a time.

Anyone can stop gambling, but the trick is to stay stop.

Blessings and love

Kin

[kin]

How badly do you want to stop gambling?

Do you really want to stop gambling? Because when the gambling stop, the problem you are going to face everyday living life is not going to disappear and stop.

If the condition is not right, and there is great discomfort, stress, hardship, pain and suffering in your life. Are you going to self-medicate and return to gamble?

Are you ready to stop gambling regardless of how you feel and think every day?

Are you going to accept and live with this, not numb it with gambling.

When you are ready to start. You only need to stop gambling today, tomorrow you repeat the same thing. One day at a time.

Anyone can stop gambling, but the trick is to stay stop.

Blessings and love

Kin

Today is my 30th gamble free day.

[kin]

Preparing to leave for part time work now. Working 8pm to 8am. Will be pre-occupied for rest of the day.

[Author]

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