[kin]

Expose the liar inside me and my lies.
They are my addiction talking.
It has a name called stinking thinking.

It is trying to catch me off guard.
I will gamble if I am not watching my steps.

I need to have repentance in my recovery.

Whenever I think that gambling can be a solution to my financial problem or whenever I am heading in the wrong direction. I must know that it is time to make a U-turn back, onto the right path, in the right direction.

I must not turn a blind eye to the gamble, I must stop the first bet today.
It is my responsibility to walk away from the first bet today.
It is my responsibility not to allow the first bet to take place today.

[kin]

It seems so simple yet so profound.
Gratitude help you see a situation from a different perspective;
Turning what we have into enough.

[kin]

When you’re in recovery, you need all the support you can get, you need a community to surround, challenge, and encourage you.

Sobriety takes a village. Without support, we encounter loneliness, a hazard for relapse. Striking out on your own can send you down the road to relapse.

It’s not uncommon for individuals recovering from problem gambling to feel lonely and isolated.

Having a support system can provide company and people into your life that might relate to what you are going through. It takes a village to help you recover.

[kin]

Hi Cruising,

Thank you for this post.

Welcome back!

[kin]

Hi risingphoenix,

It was nice to read your posts. They encourages us to aim and work towards our recovery goal.

Life do improve after a period of gamble free time and we are all still work in progress.

[kin]

This journal is the only place that I can be honest and open with my struggles with gambling.

After going abstinence for some time, I normally get very anxious and impatience that my saving is growing too slowly and wish it was more. I will panic and try to fix the situation with gambling.

Having access to money, opportunity to gamble and time put me at risk of gambling. Some people say we are not bad people, we just have an illness while some people say we are not bad people, we just made some bad choices.

I have stop gambling long enough to save up a humble amount of money. I have never saved this amount of money the hard way before, because every time when I was near to this amount, I start gambling.

I do not want to repeat this mistake again. I have asked for help and someone is safekeeping this money for me.

1. I need to be honest and not leave any loopholes for me to gamble today.
2. I need to remove any risk and stay away from danger today.
3. I only need to stop gambling today.
4. I only need to stick to the plan all the way to the end today.
5. Tomorrow, I do the same.
6. Take one day at a time.

[kin]

Hi yoyo,

Congratulations on the gamble free days!

[kin]

Today I remember the soldiers at the frontline fighting for the freedom of their country and the terminal illness patients at the hospital fighting for their lives. Someone in this forum used to tell us to “fight the good fight.”

Last night I read this verse in 2 Timothy 4:7 that says, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

Now I realized…

Every day every single one of us in this forum begin our day at the same starting point. We are all trying to finish our day gamble free. On some days, it is smooth and easy but some days, it can really be rough and tough and everyone has their own battle to fight.

[kin]

Today I read the following quotes

Gambling is a family disease. One person may be addicted but the whole family suffers.

Show me a gambler and I’ll show you a loser.

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing from something.

A Gambler is nothing but a man who makes his living out of false hope.

[kin]

I have gambling thought when I lust for more money

It is when I want to chase after the money I do not have with the money that I have
Do I really want to lose everything I have chasing after something I do not have?

If I do not want to lose my money
I need to protect my money today.

I only need to stop gambling today.
Tomorrow I do the same.

Today I remember to pray:
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. (Psalm 23)

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.

[kin]

Hi sarah,

Keep posting. Nobody can do the hard work for us; we need to journal regularly to get the benefits.

Mindfulness describes a practice of focused attention and awareness. There are many ways that we can practice mindfulness: meditation, breathing exercises, and body scans. Another method is through journaling.

Scientific research conducted over the past two decades finds that expressive writing can offer a multitude of mental and emotional health benefits. Journaling can decrease stress, help to level out your most turbulent emotions, and increase your sense of gratitude and optimism.

[kin]

While I am alive
I can afford not to win anything
I cannot afford to lose everything

If today was my last day alive
I can find more important thing than money
I can find more important thing to do than gambling

If today was my last day alive
gambling is not important
I will not gamble

[kin]

Hi sarah,

I am glad that my post in this journal is helping you as much as it is helping me.

[kin]

A diagnosis of gambling disorder requires at least four of the following during the past year:

1. Need to gamble with increasing amounts to achieve the desired excitement.
2. Restless or irritable when trying to cut down or stop gambling.
3. Repeated unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back on or stop gambling.
4. Frequent thoughts about gambling (such as reliving past gambling or planning future gambling).
5. Often gambling when feeling distressed.
6. After losing money gambling, often returning to get even. (“chasing” one’s losses.)
7. Lying to hide gambling activity.
8. Risking or losing a close relationship, a job, or an opportunity because of gambling.
9. Relying on others to help with money problems caused by gambling

[kin]

I am grateful that this journal has allow me to work on the problem that can lead me to gamble. It has help me recognized and get to know my problem better. I have got to know my impulse control disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder and psychopathy link to gambling.

Big consequences and heavy price of gambling did not stop my gambling. I did not have any fear, empathy, remorse, regret and strong resistance that could stop me when I gamble. I did not have a strong repentance; I knew it was wrong to gamble but it did not make me turn around and walk away from the gamble.

I am taking one small baby step forward at a time to work on my problems that has led to gambling.

It has help me stop gambling today. Tomorrow, I do the same. One day at a time.

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.

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