[kin]

Hi Dark Energy,

Thank you for sharing.

Wishing you a speedy recovery and get well soon!

[kin]

Hi Cruising,

to answer your questions…

I did not use Gam Care so I am not familiar. I am so sorry I cannot tell you much about them.
I am more comfortable with Gambling Therapy.

Sponsor was a term commonly used by people who practice the Gambler Anonymous 12 steps recovery program.
GA has many physical and zoom meeting online in many countries.
You have many choices, there are many English speaking meeting in UK, USA, Canada, Australia and many more.
I cannot offer any more suggestion because I have stop attending GA meeting and I do not have a 12 steps sponsor.

There is a saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

When I have a burning desire inside to ask questions on the 12 steps program
I used to ask Mr. Ken L and Charles in Gambling Therapy.

I was looking for a sponsor and mentor who is loving, caring, more powerful in knowledge and experience.
I finally found this person in a physical gambling support group meeting who became my mentor.
I have tried practicing the 12 steps recovery program but found it difficult to practice until I found a Higher Power in Jesus Christ.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by kin.

[kin]

Hi Cruising,

Thank you for sharing.

What do you like to do during your free time?

• This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by kin.

[kin]

Hi jvr3419,

Thank you for this update.

It was not easy to deal with more than one battles from different sides at the same time. I have my share and it was tough.

You have make progress. It did not come easy. You deserve them.

I will continue to cheer for you.

[kin]

Warning! Danger: Do not enter

In the past, I was a fool; I should not try to enter the forbidden zone. I would like to test whether I am free from my compulsive behavior or whether I have regained my full control over them by picking up the first drink for alcohol, taking the first bite for food, placing the first bet for gambling and many others.

I was testing whether I can stop at will and whether I am free from my addictions.
It was a big mistake; this is how my mind got hook and return to the old ways in the end one day.

These gambling places cannot catch me once I stop coming.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by kin.

[kin]

In the beginning, I only journal about the problem that was given by my gambling.
Today, I only journal about the problem that can leads to my gambling.

Today was my off day, I woke up feeling very well rested, my energy was recharged and restored by sleep. I do not have gambling thought but they will return.

My gambling thoughts will return after my long hours at work and lack of sleep. I will normally get them when I was tired and stress.

Journaling gives me a clear picture and help me to see clearly.

If I stop gambling, I will stop getting problem given by gambling.
I only need to deal with the problem that leads to my gambling.

This is living life on life’s term, not my term.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by kin.

[kin]

They have invented the slot machines to do evil. It was one of the most important if not the most important moneymaker in a casino, sports club or country club.

Slot machine has often been called the crack cocaine of gambling because electronic gaming is the most ‘addictive’ form of gambling. It has contributed more to causing problem gambling than any other gambling activity.

On 5 Feb 2015, I have finally admitted that I was truly powerless over slot machines and apply for a self-exclusion ban in my country specially for slot machine and legal online betting account.

I could not stop using slot machines on my own; the ban has successfully stop me from using a slot machine in my country for 9 years.

How can I be so blinded by these slot machines?

The evidence was so clear for all to see now – my contribution to the family every month only start after my ban. Before the ban, these electronic gaming machines have milk me dry and take away all my money every month.

I remember always feeling very guilty and very ashamed to face my family after feeding the machines; I have nothing to feed my family.

Slot machines was my coping mechanism to help me deal with strong feelings and emotions in life. Now I am learning how to manage and cope with my feelings and emotions in other ways.

I am no more a slave to slot machine and alcohol today. I can focus in other problem areas now.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by kin.

[kin]

I have handed over my incoming excess money to another person for safekeeping today.

I am left with nothing more to gamble, nothing more to lose today.

1. I need to be honest and not leave any loopholes for me to gamble today.
2. I need to remove any risk and stay away from danger today.
3. I only need to stop gambling today.
4. I need to stick to the plan all the way to the end today.
5. Tomorrow, I do the same.
6. One day at a time.

[kin]

We can try to avoid the curve balls but still get hit by them in life.

Bad things do happen to good people in life. This is life.
I have learnt to accept this reality the hard way.
I have learnt to accept that there are many areas in my life that is out of my control.
This is living life on life ‘s term.
When I do get hit by the unexpected events,
I need to watch out and make sure that I do not self-destruct.
I must not become impulsive and lose my self-control.

I suffer from impulse control disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder and psychopathy link to gambling.
I need to work on the problems that can lead me to gamble constantly.

It is my responsibility to walk away from the first bet and stay away from danger.

I must repent if I am going to gamble.
I need to stop myself, and make a U-turn back to safety.
I must not turn a blind eye to gamble.
I must avoid the first bet.
I must not allow the first bet to happen today.

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.

[kin]

Hi marcus,

Thank you for your support in this post.

[kin]

Hi Cruising,

Thank you for your support in this post.

I have always been impulsive and can lose control of my emotions easily
I have ended up doing things that I regret later many times.

Today I work on the problems that can lead me to gamble after I have stop gambling.
One day at a time.

[kin]

As I wash my face
My head is telling me to go drinking, it is ok to gamble.

After I finished washing my face
I understand that I have acted out in the past to escape uncomfortable, hard and stressful times; and ease the pain.

I cannot remember what I was busy with in 2023?

I check my inventory:
I started the current job in 2023.
My mum was sick and passed away in 2023.

I suffered from impulse control disorder, and obsessive control disorder. I can be impulsive and lose control of my emotion easily, I have self-destructed many times in the past.

Today I am not following my feelings and reasons to go out gamble or drink when I choose to stay home; stay away and walk away from danger.

I only need to stay clean and sober today.
I need to stick to the plan all the way to the end today.
Tomorrow, I do the same.
One day at a time.

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.

[kin]

I feel hurt, lousy, and my heart is heavy as I write this post.

First, I saw Mr. Dunc ‘s post on the passing of a kind, loving, caring, experience, knowledgeable and helpful recovering person that I respect a great deal today. Thank you Mr. Dunc on the update.

I have not use my face book account for a long time. I just have to log in to my face book account today because I want to visit Mr. Ken L face book page. Mr. Ken L have touched the heart of many…

I saw an unread message at the bottom right hand corner. It was from my psychologist dated 11 Jan 2023. He informed me that he has suffered from a massive stroke and almost died. I visited his face book page, my heart sink when I saw this young man ‘s face and body in the photo.

Life is so unpredictable and uncertain.
Many things can change and change suddenly.

I have never given my life and my health a top priority.
I have never think much about life and death.

Nobody expect anyone to be normal and healthy today, bedridden and paralyzed the next;
here today and gone the next.

Today I was hit very hard by reality and feel pain from these two unexpected and unfortunate news.

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by kin.

[kin]

Hi mutley

I just read your introduction here.
Thank you for sharing.

[kin]

Hi Cruising,

You say,

“I have found myself throwing away money again…
I’m in the type of debt that keeps me up at night…
the kind that won’t let you think of anything else other than my next bet…
how I plan to pay all my bills…”

You have describe everything about me.
I love your posts. Thank you for sharing.

[Author]

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