[kin]

We realized that gambling has enslave us instead of setting us free.

We were prisoners in our own mind, condemned to slow execution by our own sense of guilt. We had all but given up on ever getting help.

Our previous attempts to stay gamble free had always failed causing us many years of pain and misery.

Our futures appeared hopeless until we found gamble free addicts who were willing to share. In the Fellowship, the desire to stop gambling was all that we needed in the beginning.

Our recovery began with our first admission that we needed help.

Denial of our addiction is what kept us sick

Honest admission of our addiction enabled us to stop gambling.

We were able to open up and ask for help by attending meetings. We went to meetings and heard people sharing their feelings and realized that we had felt those feelings ourselves. We were no longer alone. People told us they were addicts and that they were recovering. If they could do it, so could we.

[kin]

I completed my 12 hours graveyard shift work, I only slept for 4 hours and had to wake up for the church service. I am not a saint, I was really tired, and lazy, I do not wish to go church.

I need to made a choice; I choose to do it. I need to attend church service unconditionally. I need to attend church service regardless of the conditions.

I am only one arm length away and still very near to the next gamble or drink. Today was no exception, the gambling and drinking thought come and go. I think I will still struggle to give up gambling unconditionally and not gamble in all condition.

I experienced fatigue and exhaustion physically and mentally today, I also experience happiness and excitement. In the past, these emotions make me gamble or drink to relax and entertain myself.

I am going to rest and sleep after this post.

[kin]

Many were aware of the difference between right and wrong.
Many were convinced that they were right and the world was wrong, and used this belief to justify their self-destructive behavior – Gambling.

[kin]

Are you willing and ready to give up gambling unconditionally?

Are you willing to accept that you need to “stop gambling irregardless of the condition” to stay stop?

[kin]

Hi Bndet99,

Thank you for the professional sharing. You are so spot on what goes inside the mind of a sport punter. We are always looking for the edge or advantage in sport betting, my work and my life revolves around it. When I find one in a deal, it become a great temptation to act or place a bet on it and take immediate action or plan my next gamble, everything go into auto pilot, the chances to slip into old ways increase for me.

Unless our stopping is unconditional. Unless we stop irregardless of the conditions, otherwise when the next opportunity appears, it will turn into a perfect condition to take action or place the next gamble.

[kin]

We are not responsible for the disease but we are responsible for the effort.

[kin]

Saturday and Sunday is my off day from my regular work. I took part time work on Saturday, it starts at 8 pm and end at 8 am on the next morning.

There are places to go, people to meet, and things to do on Saturday and I need to sacrifice these activities. On Sunday, I am usually too tired that I did not want to do anything  that include going to church to get closer to God, and I should not sacrifice this activity.

I need to give up those unimportant things on Saturday, and give myself enough rest for the work at night.

I need to attend church on Sunday unconditionally! I need to get closer to God regardless of the condition! 

This is the same as not placing my first gamble regardless of condition.

My old ways is the opposite, go meet up friends for fun on Saturday, go work after that. On Sunday I will be too tired and I choose to give up going to Church.

[kin]

I am no more a slave to gambling. I have regained my freedom to choose not to gamble, one day at a time.

Since 29 June 2019, I have started a new journal here where I wrote about the temptation that I notice every day and how I can go into auto pilot and unconsciously slip into old ways. One week has passed, it has made me realize that I face temptations every day. Every day I need to made choices to  act out or not to act out my desire.

I like to rewire or recondition my mind, I hope to develop a habit of making the right choice not to act out my self destructive thought.

[kin]

Stopping is not the problem. Everyone has stopped many times. The real problem is that we cannot stay stopped.

We have a mind which deprives us of the ability to manage a decision to never take another gamble even after we have firmly made that vital decision.  A mind that produces the insidious insanity that causes us to gamble against our own will.

We does not have sufficient willpower to manage the decision to stay stopped; that produces the “insanity” that leads to the first gamble. Lacking willpower to manage a decision to not take the first gamble.

[kin]

I have live to act out my self-destructive desire and act out my self-destructive desire to live.
Now I need to learn how to live my life without the self destructive desire.

[kin]

The thought to act out are there everyday. It was like thinking of sinning.

I have not sin, but I am concern.

[kin]

1 John 1:8

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

Proverbs 28:26 ESV

Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.

James 1:12 ESV

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial,

for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life,

which God has promised to those who love him

[kin]

It was about 11 am in the office. I was thinking about the opportunity to punt on sport today, I have the access to money, the time to walk to the nearby betting house. I was slipping into old ways.

I want to win but I knew I may lose.I remember to give up winning today.

In the evening after a 12 steps workshop and dinner around 9pm, I was on the bus looking at the matches available tonight. The gambling thought come and go.

I was still this close to gambling.

This is the least stressful thread I have ever started in Gambling Therapy. I only need to be honest and admit my mistake when I slip into old ways.

Of cos I need to be alert and watch out for the temptation. I am suppose to flee from the temptation.

This is only the 5th day since I started this exercise, and I have already counted 5 temptation to slip into old ways.

Each one of them can lead to a slip or serious relapse if I had allowed them to happen.

[kin]

Nobody likes to admit to being wrong. But it is absolutely necessary to maintain spiritual progress in recovery.

Step 10

“Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.”

Step 10, recommend that you do daily and periodic reviews. Were you resentful, dishonest or afraid? What could you do better tomorrow?

While carrying out your daily review, be careful to avoid slipping into worry, remorse or fear. It is not about beating yourself up.

Step 10 is about being aware of your actions and their consequences.

This review is basically taking stock of where you are and what you need to do to ensure you stay on the path to recovery.

[kin]

1 Peter 5:8

Be of sober spirit, be on the alert

Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

1 Corinthians 16:13

Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.

Matthew 26:41

“Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation;

the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Proverbs 4:23

Watch over your heart with all diligence,

For from it flow the springs of life.

[Author]

Posts