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People respect the money, not the person.

People respect the power of authority, not the person.

People like good looks, not the good thoughts

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Instead of loving money and using people

Start using money to love people

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If you want to feel rich,

Just c.o.u.n.t. the things you have that money cannot buy

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Life without self destructive behavior is very simple. It is not what I wish and want but what I need.

First I don’t want but I need, later I want and I need.

I am still work in progress as you can see.

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When the brake is not working, it take some time to fix them, it takes time for everything to return to normal.
Take one day at a time, if this is difficult, take one baby step at a time.

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I doubt myself to survive and come this far but I have. I have manage to stay alive since 1999 and gone are those hopeless, suicidal, helpless and reckless days.

I have face many setbacks and obstacles along the way, I can and have live without the self destructive behavior. I did it by the power, grace and mercy of God but I still doubt myself to do it again.

I return to them whenever I feel discontent, discomfort and distress. I gave myself permission to do it.

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Matthew 17:20
Jesus said unto them,
Because of you have so little faith
If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, “Move from here to there”, and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.

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Stay calm and be patient. Trust God.

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darkenergy0138 shared: “your brain is now burning, you have part of it is pushing you to gamble and the other part is pushing you not to gamble….I was fighting the urge for 10 days, my brain was on fire for 10 days and it ends up by relapse.” The mental relapse has already happen in the mind before the physical relapse take place.

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In one of the first human stories, God accepted Abel’s offering and rejected Cain’s, so Cain—envious of his brother’s acceptance by God—rose up and killed his own brother. This tragic story at the very beginning of the Bible reminds us that envy is one of the root sins.
It originated in the disobedience of our first parents and manifested in their son, then out of envy many other sins spring forth.
Envy is an insatiable desire like lust, greed and gluttony. Envy can therefore be the root out of which springs theft, cheating, adultery and murder.
Out of envy we reach out to take what is not ours: another’s property, another’s wealth, another’s wife, another’s life.

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“Envy” is defined as “a feeling of discontent and ill will because of another person ‘s advantages, possessions, etc.; resentful dislike of others who has something that one desires.”

“Jealous” is defined as “very watchful or careful in guarding or keeping,” and “resentfully envious.” Jealousy” has stronger emotions attached.

I always confuse Jealousy with envy. I thought they mean the same thing.

I was not jealous and do not hate the wealth and success that others have. I do not disike ot hate the person, infact I was happy for them and celebrate their success.

The problem was not the person, the problem was my desire and urge for the money they had.

I have some money, it is enough but I want more money, and feel it was not enough, I want to change this. This has been a very strong motivator and force to make me gamble.

I realize that this has made me a sick person.

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Why can’t I drive it out?

Mathew 17:20

He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

The answer Jesus gave in the first part of Mathew 17:20 is very revealing: Because of your unbelief. Matthew 17:20

This is what Jesus was saying in the first part of Matthew 17:20.

He didn’t tell His disciples, “It’s because you don’t have enough faith”;

He said, “It’s because of your unbelief.”

Your unbelief canceled out the faith you had.

That is why you did not see the desired results.”

Jesus declared, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him that believes.” ~ Mark 9:20-23

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Gambling is for the people with the spending power and the money to lose. I like to pretend and spend like them and be able to do thing like them.

I was really a fool because I do not know my limitation. Gambling is not for people like me. I do not have the spending power or have any money to lose.

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Calvary covers it all

My sin and shame

Don’t c.o.u.n.t. anymore

All praise to the One

Who has ransomed my soul

Calvary covers it all

Amen!

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I celebrate with gambling and I numb myself with gambling. I am familiar with gambling and it is predictable in the area of altering my mood just like any alcohol, drugs and sex

On some day, I seek out gambling to alter my mood, for some fun and excitements. On other day, I may be happy and satisfied, I do not want to alter my mood but gambling changes everything. It can made me moody.

Win or lose, my mood get affected.

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