[kin]

If I stop gambling now, there’s no way I can pay back all the money I owe.

If I have money and stop gambling, they are always not enough.

If I stop gambling, I have less and less money or none after spending on necessities and living expenses.

If I stop gambling, I do not have enough money for retirement.

If I stop gambling, I may feel lonely and boredom, restlessness and  irritability, stress and helpless.

If I stop gambling and I spot a winning match, I cannot gamble on the winning team to win money. I had to give up winning with gambling totally. This made me feel like a fool and I start to doubt myself and experiences discomfort whether it is right to win money. 

[kin]

What are the advantages when you stop gambling?

Peace and stability has return to the house. My family can feel safe when they return home. They are no longer threaten by my presence. They are no longer living in fear; fearful that I will hurt and harm them by asking huge sum of money in the shortest notice.

Imagine how they must have felt when I step into their house, I reminded them of the reason why their hard earn saving are depleted. I reminded them of hell, I was the reason for their pain and suffering.

Its been a few years since I started contributing to the family every month. They never expected me to do this, they must have given up hope on me that I can help. I hope their old wounds are healing now.

I never have too much money, or too little money, they alway feel like not enough but is alway enough to pay for all the bills every month. I do not have to worry about the dateline for the repayments.

I cannot afford to purchase a flat on my first year in recovery. Fast forward 14 years later, I am the proud owner of one.

If I stop gambling, I am no more living in guilt or regrets from gambling. I start to live in peace, freedom, and satisfaction everyday.

I am not in living in constant fear and worry now. I am not living in pain, anxiety, helplessness, and hopelessness. I am not in the self pity, self beating, depressive mood. I am not living in misery and despair. I am a free man.

to be updated… 

[kin]

Gambling lead to broken family, failed relationships, loss of jobs and severe debt. 

It also lead to mental health problems including depression, anxiety, and mood disorders.

I become mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially and physically a bankrupt. 

Chasing losses made me powerless, helpless, and mentally tired as my trouble become deeper. 

Gambling made me impatient, reckless, irresponsible, easily irritable,  impulsive, compulsive and  hot tempered.

I have big winnings and cannot stop thinking about gambling. I need to return to gamble 

If I had lost all my money, I need to chase the loss, I become desperate and will go to all length to borrow, lie, cheat and steal to gamble some more.

I go over and over guilty feelings and cannot stop thinking about problems

Gambling threaten to get me kick out of the house again and again. 

Gambling made me so broke that I cannot afford a roof over my head. 

I was so broke that I had to borrow from legal and illegal money lenders to cover up my next repayment. I accumulated so much debt that I was living in so much stress and misery.

I cannot focus and keep a job. Livelihood was a big concern.

I avoided people and people avoided me. I lost all my friends. I was afraid to let my new friend know that I was a problem gambler and a broke. My existing friends avoided me because I never change, they dont want to help or lend me any more money. I also avoided those friend that has help me and lend me money because I cannot keep my promise and have no money to return them.

I feel depress, and have problem falling asleep

I turn to heavy drinking to numb my feeling

I become suicidal

Is it worth it?

[kin]

Gambling is fun, exciting and thrilling

relief boredom and stress

entertaining and rewarding

Gambling encourages courage and risk-taking.

Smart gamblers can make profits.

This question talked people into gambling

It reminded people they are not stupid

Who will be so stupid to give up winning.

[kin]

What can Gambling do to me?

I cannot remember

all the pain, and destruction from gambling

all the disappointment and frustration

all the self-beating and self-pity that come from gambling against my will.

all the broken, helpless, and hopeless feeling after losing my last dollar

all the guilt and shame when I have no money to feed my family

all the stress and panic when I have no money to service my loans and bills.

all the remorse and regrets when I lie, cheat and steal from my victims to gamble.

[kin]

Dear Monica,

Congratulation on achieving another milestone in your journey!

[kin]

The AMBIVALENCE THOUGHTS I had about quitting as a result of euphoric recall make me suffer for many years.

I made matter worst when I compare myself to people who are successful in recovery but don’t talk about their ambivalence thoughts and euphoric recall. 

Why can’t I be like my mentor who talk the walk and walk the talk. I condemn myself more, and feel like a hypocrite.

Today I have accepted who I am. I am a recovering addict and all the things that has happen to me is normal. I feel very comfortable with myself because I can already see the baby steps progress I made over years by the mercy and grace of God.

My recovery was not perfect, my life was not perfect but life is much improve now. There is more peace, gratitude contentment and joy, less pain and suffering each day. I am thankful for all that as i wake up each morning knowing I have survive another day by the power, mercy and grace of God, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

[kin]

I like to take this opportunity to thank the participants here. I was reading your posts. Your message can be such a powerful reminder to me.

You reminded me of SMART RECOVERY AND CELEBRATE RECOVERY. At some point of time in my recovery, I spend a lot of time reading them but have forgotten much.

Recently, I had been having a lot of fun and enjoyment reading the scriptures behind the 12 steps recovery program, I was focusing on Jesus Christ and the 12 steps but did not notice I was doing celebrate recovery which is a faith base recovery program that I pick up from a book.

Something inside me prompted me to go back to study Smart Recovery. The timing was perfect, as I discover that I have a different level of understanding now and I was able to recognize and describe my feeling better in words with the help of reading material found online. My post on euphoric recall was a result of this.

Thank you Jen, I did it, lizbeth4 .

[kin]

Counteract Euphoric Recall And the Desire To Test Control

Two important risk factors for relapse are EUPHORIC RECALL and the DESIRE TO TEST CONTROL over GAMBLING.

Euphoric recall is the act of remembering only the pleasures associated with GAMBLING and not the adverse consequences.

Euphoric recall is a potent relapse risk factor because it MINIMIZES perceptions of GAMBLING ‘s DANGER, promoting AMBIVALENCE about quitting. It minimizes the DANGER of what GAMBLING CAN DO TO US and promote what GAMBLING CAN DO FOR US.

For these reasons, so-called “war stories” that include EUPHORIC RECALL and SELECTIVE MEMORY are POWERFUL relapse TRIGGERS and should be STRONGLY DISCOURAGE in recovery groups.

After beginning to feel healthier, more in control of their lives, and free of some of their GAMBLING problems, some feel that they are ready to try a new approach to GAMBLING.

For example,

Some may FEEL that if they are “CAREFUL,” they can GAMBLE without losing control over their GAMBLING.

Others may feel that this is a good time to try GAMBLING “one last time,” just to see if they can do it without escalating into compulsive use and loss of control.

URGES TO TEST THEIR CONTROL OVER GAMBLING ARE A POWERFUL RELAPSE WARNING SIGN!!!

UGLY REMINDERS, can help us make LISTS of NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES of GAMBLING, which can be reviewed when we experience CRAVING, fantasize about CONTROL GAMBLING, or reliving past experiences with GAMBLING.

[kin]

I was doing my part time work in the early hour of Sunday morning, It was an innocent thought, I was mentally adding the little money in a few accounts to see whether I had enough to pay the next bill.

This action is enough to trigger my mind to tell me I have money and can win some more money. I was thinking to myself, what is wrong with me!!!

After I finish work, I read some recovery material before I went to sleep. This crazy thought and feeling I had is normal, it was a euphoric recall.

I just woke up after a good sleep and rest. The crazy thought was gone and has disappear. This is crazy.

I could be in trouble if I had listen to the lies and distorted thinking I had.

[kin]

“I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet” ― Helen Keller

If you want to feel rich, just c.o.u.n.t. all the things you have that money can’t buy.

[kin]

Dear dairy,

We probably have heard this too many times in recovery, until we start to believe they are true.

I cannot understand the insanity of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. I really begin to doubt myself and think that I am really insane.

Trying to explain why after I have relapse made me sound like a big loser and failure. Others see this as a weakness.

I will look hopeless and stubborn, not honest, not open and not willing to change, everything I say will sound like an excuse and in denial.

There was so little I heard or so little known to me, and I have no confident. I was afraid to tell others what I am feeling, I was afraid no one will believe me. I choose to keep quiet in the end.

After 14 years in recovery, I have accumulated countless days abstain from all form of self-destructive behavior and also countless days in relapse.

I can now describe my feeling before the relapse and put to words these feelings.

No one will ask someone suffering from high blood pressure why their blood pressure is high, but many will question an addict why they relapse. Recovering addict suffer from a term call Euphoric recall.  

Euphoric recall is a psychological term for the tendency of people to remember past experiences in a positive light, while overlooking negative experiences associated with that event.

I will only remember what gambling can do for me and forget completely what gambling do to me.

In a euphoric recall, my brain only recalled all the fun times and rewards when gambling. All I think was only the fun times and rewards from gambling is one reason that keep me addicted.

I cannot remember all the pain, and destruction from gambling, I cannot remember all the disappointment and frustration, all the self-beating and self-pity that come from gambling against my will.

I cannot remember all the broken, helpless, and hopeless feeling after losing my last dollar, all the guilt and shame when I have no money to feed my family, all the stress and panic when I have no money to service my loans and bills.

I suffer from euphoric recall from time to time. This is just one part of my recovery, I cannot control the thought and feeling that comes to my brain, but I can learn not to follow these lies or distorted thinking. All is not lost, I can really do something. There is hope.

[kin]

Gbabyh reminded me to think of food as fuel rather than pleasure.

Seeking pleasure was my top priority when I act out in slot machines, football bettings, alcohol, sex and food. I always want more.

[kin]

For it is by grace you have been saved. Through Faith and this is not from yourself. It is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Who does the Bible consider helpless? Everyone! “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” the Bible tells us:

“There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands;
there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless;  there is no one who does good, not even one.” (Romans 3:10-12)

The prophet Isaiah declares that God helps those who are utterly helpless:

You have been a refuge for the poor,  a refuge for the needy in their distress,  a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat.
For the breath of the ruthless is like a storm driving against a wall ( Isaiah 25:4)

The reward in recovery is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. 

[kin]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFcuFD_z1qQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEXsl6Le_Bw

I used to watch them play in the weekend games and to hear them talk about the destructive power of gambling addiction really catch my attention.

[Author]

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