[kin]

Today is Friday and this is what happen to me in the last 6 days; I had one difficult day and five good days.

There are good days and bad days, I need to survive the difficult days when the bad day comes. Last Sunday was one such day, I suffered from intense attacks and urges to gamble; I was feeling weak and vulnerable.

I only need to stay gamble free on this difficult day and the next few days from Monday to Friday was a lot easier for me.

[kin]

Hi g3roin,

Thank you for sharing.
Everybody will experience stress and strong emotions.
Everyone is trying to live with the stress and strong emotions without the gambling.
This is called living life on life’s term, not our term.

It was very encouraging to read about your progress. Please keep posting.
One day at a time.

[kin]

I accept that I am fasting from gambling and I am willing to do whatever it takes to stay gamble free today and I admit that I have not been truthful and honest after I receive some funds two days ago.

I question myself today.

Why did I want to hold on to excess cash that I do not need for my daily expenses for the past two days? This way I have intentionally leave loophole in my recovery so that I can gamble anytime I want.

Although no one knows about this, I must be honest to myself. Whatever excuses that I have to hold on to this cash is a lie.

“Repent before it is too late”

I better hand over this money to another person today. I am not going to risk gambling with this money for one more day.

I only need to stay gamble free today.
Tomorrow, I do the same
One day at a time.

[kin]

Hi marcus,

Good job! It was a joy to read about your progress.
I really look forward to your one year gamble free time.

You cannot give what you do not have.
I hope your story can inspire many others to stay gamble free for more than a year / multiple years.

[kin]

Congratulation and good job on staying gamble free for more than a month!

[kin]

Hi dehzao,

Thank you for sharing.

Looking forward to your next post.

[kin]

Hi flynn,

Thank you for sharing.

Looking forward to your next post.

[kin]

Hi lauisnow,

I can feel your frustration and can relate when you wrote “I am tired of the relapse and tired of being in so much debt.” I hope your situation will improve very soon.

[kin]

Some days was harder than others; I survived and stay gamble free two days ago.
Yesterday and today I do not have to deal with any of the intense attack that I felt 2 days ago.

I was very selfish on that day; it was my off day; I had some money; betting house are like 7-11 outlets everywhere; it was a hot day.

Everyday I had some money and the betting house are always there; the external trigger was not strong.
Everything was the same except the heat that I dislike.
The strong urge to place a bet comes from an internal trigger on this day.
I was more selfish and paying more attention to my feeling, emotion and desire.

When all else did not work for me on this day, I can really felt the power of selflessness helping me to stay gamble free.
My reason to stay gamble free was different on this day; I could not find this strength in the past; it was a newfound strength.

Self is no more the center of the universe.
Repent before it is too late.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by kin.

[kin]

Congratulation on staying gamble free successfully since the year 2019.

[kin]

When I was active in addiction, I was very selfish, self-centered and self-seeking. Everything revolves around me.
I could not fully understand how people stay abstinence because I was still the center of the universe.

Just like the father or mother who choose to give up what they like so that their children can have when they want.
They practice the principle of selflessness.

I am learning how they choose to stay abstinence for something bigger than them; self is no more the center of the universe.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by kin.

[kin]

Thank you for your honesty. You deserve success in your education and newfound career.

[kin]

Just for Today

The principle of selflessness:
I was more selfish today compare to other days.
I was more preoccupied with my own interest
I was paying more attention to what I want to do
I want to gamble.

Selflessness is the quality of caring more about what other people need and want more than what I need and want.

The principle of honesty and integrity in recovery:
I need to be honest to myself, I must not have any loopholes in my recovery that allow me to gamble.
That happens when I hold on to excess cash or when I do not walk away from danger; places that accept betting.

The principle of willingness
Placing interest before self; principle before personalities reminds us to focus on the common purpose of recovery and the principle of willingness; I had to become willing to surrender what I want to do or gambling.

“There is a huge difference between wanting to change and being willing to change.
Almost everyone wants to change for the better. Very few are willing to take the steps necessary to create that change. ”

Self-Care

I was rescue and saved by my willingness to sleep and keeping myself clean and cool in the hot weather today.

I was exhausted and fatigue after long hours at work.
The longer I delay sleeping; the longer I stay awake;
the more tired I become; the more likely I will gamble.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by kin.

[kin]

Hi marcus,

Thank you for sharing.

Looking forward to your next post.

[kin]

Hi Cruising,

How was your week?

[Author]

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