[kin]

Hi asd,

The stonecutter may strike a rock 99 times with no apparent effect. Yet with the 100th blow, the rock splits in two.
That doesn’t mean that the first stroke is useless. Success is the result of continuous efforts.
It was not the final blow that did the trick but all that had gone before.

Don’t lose heart!

Just because you lost a battle does not mean you lost a war.
You may have to fight the battle more than once to win the war.
Sometimes by losing a battle, you find a new way to win the war.
Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.

Don’t give up on yourself
you will find a way; you can do it.
It won’t be easy but it will be worth it

When life gives you a second chance
Don’t take it for granted
Don’t waste the chance
Don’t repeat the same mistake.

[kin]

Congratulation on staying gamble free for 1 year and 1 day.

[kin]

Autobiography of an addict in 5 short chapters

Chapter 1

I walk down the street, there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in, I am lost, I am hopeless.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street, there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I dun see it, I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But I believe it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street, there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I can see it is there, I still fall in, it is a habit.
I know where I am. It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street, there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.

…THE END…

[kin]

Autobiography of an addict in 5 short chapters

Chapter 1

I walk down the street, there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in, I am lost, I am hopeless.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street, there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I dun see it, I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But I believe it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street, there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I can see it is there, I still fall in, it is a habit.
I know where I am. It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street, there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.

…THE END…

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by kin.

[kin]

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.”

I need to be reminded that I need to stick to the plan all the way to the end today.

May God’s will be done, not mine.

[kin]

I receive 3 unexpected bills this month on top of an renovation related bill for upgrading work at home next month. One for mobile service, one for banking service, one for anti-virus software. Add them all up, it was a worrying sum for me this month.

I feel uncomfortable with these additional expenses, it has reduced my planned saving and increase my expenses for this month.

When things did not turn out according my plan, it can threaten my sobriety, it would take more effort for me to stay clean and sober. I am just glad that I have remain gamble free.

I am grateful to have function like a normal person. It has not trigger off my impulsive control disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety and panic attacks or gambling.

Yesterday I manage to talk to the telecommunication company and bank about these unexpected bills and both agreed to waive off their charges. I was happy with the outcome.

I came across this saying that I like recently:

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.”

~ Robert Louis Stevenson, author of the book “The strange case of Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by kin.

[kin]

Hi jvr3419,

It was scary to watch the Jekyll and Hyde personality
It has happened to me and to many recovering person I know

The familiar person you know suddenly disappear and the demon appears

What do you think are the triggers for the Jekyll and Hyde personality?

I can only think of 3 now

1. substance abuse – the moment they drink
2. mental health issues – the moment their bipolar disorder relapse
3. stress and tension from everyday living – the moment they are stress, anxious and tense

[kin]

Hi jvr3419,

Thank you for sharing.
I can tell you have done a lot of work in recovery by your posts.

Thank you for this important piece of valuable advice when you say,

“The only thing I’ve ever seen, actually keep people from switching between the demon and the good side of themselves is doing extremely thorough emotional work on themselves.”

[kin]

If you are like me.

This place allows me to connect with another recovering person like me, who can relate to what I am going through.

Reading their stories offer me strength, courage, comfort, and hope to carry on this lifetime journey.
Some reminded me what my life was like in the past;
some shows me what life will be like in the future.
It takes a village of recovering person to help me heal and recover.

Sobriety takes a village. Without their support, I may encounter loneliness, a hazard for relapse.
It’s not uncommon for individuals recovering from problem gambling to feel alone and isolated.

We all need support from one another in this community of recovering people.

[kin]

Hi maverick,

I hope you are OK.

Thinking of you.

[kin]

Hi gustav,

I was very glad to have read about your firm decision and determination when you wrote,

“I am going to be on constantly for a while, as I have something to prove to myself.”

One day at a time, I wish you a gamble free day.

[kin]

I need to build up more positive experiences and memories from not gambling.
It is time to let the light in to take over the darkness in my life.
It is time for healing and recovery at this stage.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by kin.

[kin]

It was an experience, 6 days has passed, today is Saturday, I will still choose to stay gamble free.
I have no regret not gambling last Sunday.

I am not taking any risk and chance.
I have handed over my excess cash to another person to safekeep for me.
I have reduce the available cash on me.
Situation has return to normal.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by kin.

[kin]

If you ask me to stop gambling, I will feel overwhelmed.
It is easy to stop gambling, anyone can do this.
The difficult part is staying stop.

But if you only ask me to stop gambling today, I will find it doable and achievable.

I only need to stop gambling today.
Tomorrow, I do the same.
I do it one day at a time.
I seek progress in recovery.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by kin.

[kin]

Hi adidasdub,

These people used all the right words to describe what has happen to me.

The worst thing that ever happen to me was winning some money, I ended up spending more money trying to replicate the feeling. ~ Slot-machine Addict.

Once you interact with these machines, the dynamic changes, and what you get out of these machines is not necessary the excitement and thrill of winning but the pleasure of being in this rhythmic zone. ~ Assistant Professor Natasha Schull

It was like a trance that came over me ~ Slot-machine Addict

When you are sitting in front of that machine, you are intoxicated. You have not taken a pill, you have not taken a drink, you have not put something into your vein, but that doesn’t mean your brain chemistry haven’t change. ~ Dr Robert Breen, Director, Gambling Treatment Program, Rhode Island Hospital

In 2001, Doctor Hans Breiter and colleagues at Massachusetts General hospital conducted an experiment comparing the brain of a cocaine addict receiving a dose of cocaine and a healthy control subject playing the game of chance.

You look at the brain images of the activation of the primary reward system in the center of the human brain when they are a cocaine addict expecting a cocaine infusion vs a normal control subject expecting a monetary win, we saw the same thing, they are nearly identical, I could not distinguish who have receive cocaine and who have won a gambling task. ~ Doctor Hans Breiter, Director, Motivational and Emotional Neuroscience Center, Massachuset ts General hospital

The US national gambling impact study commission called these electronic gambling machines the crack cocaine of creating new addicted gamblers. ~ John Kindt, Professor, Business and Legal Policy, University of Illinios

The Gambling industry members talk about how to keep the people playing the machine longer, faster and more intensively and the way they speak about their aim is an aim of player extinction. Keeping the player there until their budget is thoroughly exhausted, until they have zero the player out.

[Author]

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