[kin]

I am more confident, decisive and sure with my decision nowadays. I am happy with the clearer picture.

I do not hesitate to go ahead and follow the reasons; logical thinking; good orderly direction in my mind.

At the same time watching out for any distractions and interruptions from my emotional wants, cravings, urges and desires of the heart.

I used to think that they are one and the same. I only end up becoming indecisive, lost, confuse and wondering what was wrong with me.

Now I know they are two separate voice; one from the heart and one from the mind.

I have three clear choices, I can choose to follow :

my heart / my way or
my mind / my way or
my Higher Power / not my way

[kin]

Hi marcus,

Thank you for this post.

I would like to congratulate you again for passing your one year clean and sober time. At the same time, please be careful and do not let slack and complacency put you at risk and in danger. Continue to stay focus on what you has been doing.

Thank you for asking. I am doing good and getting closer to my goal.

Communicating with others in here has help me to grow in all areas.

Looking forward to your next post soon.

I will continue to journal here, it is a form of mindfulness exercise for me, I get to practice mindful reading and writing.

[kin]

I was thinking …

Surrender for me means my way do not work, I follow your way.

Submissive for me means the wife is submissive to the husband and trust the husband to make the best decision for the family and follow his leadership.

When I submit to a Higher Power, I will follow my Higher Power, wherever my Higher Power leads me, regardless what happen. It is not a transaction, trade off, bargain or exchange.

[kin]

I only need to stay focus on today; not tomorrow or yesterday.

1. I need to be honest with myself; I must not leave any loopholes for me to gamble today.
2. I must remove any risk and stay away from danger today.
3. I only need to stop gambling today.
4. I must stick to the plan all the way to the end today.
5. Tomorrow, I do the same.
6. One day at a time.

[kin]

When jvr3419 shared about emotional dysregulation, it inspires me to seriously think about the following:

Should I follow my heart or follow my mind or follow a Higher Power in recovery?

What is the better way to work my recovery and repentance?

Is admitting defeat and surrendering to my addiction enough to stay stop?

Should I focus on victory and submitting to a Higher Power to stay stop?

What did my Higher Power say about the heart which was driven by emotions, instincts, and desires?

What does it mean for me to surrender?

Surrender for me is the willful and stubborn or intentional, determine acceptance of defeat to gambling. The focus is on the gambling activities.

1. I surrender and stop gambling because I admit defeat to gambling.
2. I surrender and stop gambling because I am powerless over my gambling.
3. I surrender and stop gambling because compulsive gambling is a progressive illness; once I start and continue gambling, I will gradually become compulsive and cannot control the size and frequency of my gamble. If I stop gambling, I cannot stay stop
4. I surrender and stop gambling because I have no more money to lose.
5. I surrender and stop gambling because gambling has cause me to act out in other ways in life which I will normally not be doing if I am not gambling.
6. I surrender and stop gambling because gambling makes my life unmanageable.
7. I only surrender and stop gambling. Nothing else about me has change.

What does it mean for me to submit?

Submitting to a Higher Power for me means that I trust, I listen, I obey, and I follow a Higher Power to claim victory.

I give up my heart; own desires, hopes, and wants to follow the Higher Power wherever it may lead me.

My Higher Power was the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Submission to a Higher Power show me where I should be heading even when I am overwhelmed by strong emotions and feelings.

The focus is on my Higher Power, the focus is not on my gambling problem.

Proverbs 3:6
In all your ways acknowledge this Higher Power,
And this Higher Power will make your paths straight.

What did my Higher Power tell me about the heart?

Jeremiah 17:9
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

Matthew 15:19
For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.

Proverbs 28:26:
He who trusts in his own heart is a fool.

1 Peter 5:8
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Proverbs 4:23
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

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[kin]

Hi asd,

Thank you for asking a very intelligent question.

I can only speak for myself, I struggle with impulse control disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder and emotion dysregulation disorder. My opinion does not represent other normal functioning person.

My emotions if uncontrolled, they might make me take decisions that are not always in my best interest. I tried to chose my reason over my emotions, unfortunately I could only do it on most days and not all the days. I need to be very mindful and aware for this purpose and sometimes I can get distracted and lose my focus.

I am a work in progress and under construction. I am still learning to follow good orderly direction.

I hope you can find the answer to this question from a qualified person or certified professional.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by kin.

[kin]

Hi jvr3419,

You have done a very good job!

When you shared about emotional dysregulation, it inspire me to seriously think about the following:

Should I follow my heart or follow my mind or follow a Higher Power in recovery?

What is the better way to work my recovery and repentance?

Is admitting defeat and surrendering to my addiction enough to stay stop?

Should I focus on victory and submitting to a Higher Power to stay stop?

What did my Higher Power say about the heart which was driven by emotions, instincts, and desires?

[kin]

my gambling shows that my heart have not surrender my ways;
my heart have not admitted defeat;
my heart have not accepted that I am powerless over gambling;
my heart still believe that I can do control gambling.
my heart was not happy my glass is not full and wants to gamble

my mind remember where I came from; my glass was empty at that time.
I am grateful, happy and contented to live with my glass half full of water now
my mind do not wish to gamble;
my mind do not need a glass full of water;
I can live with a glass half full.

[kin]

Gambling Therapy live support is a text-based service that allows you to speak directly with an experienced advisor. Whether you are concerned about your own gambling, or if you are worried about someone else – talking about it can be a relief.

Speaking to an advisor can help you find a new perspective on your situation and can help you take meaningful practical steps forwards.

Gambling Therapy advisors will listen to you without judgement and can talk through any questions you may have about problem gambling. Your advisor can also help you to find local resources such as counselling services or groups if these are available in your area.

Support is provided in any language using automated translation, with native language support offered in many common languages. Just start typing, and an advisor will respond in the same language.

The service is confidential – although other advisors within the Gambling Therapy team will be able to review the conversation in order to provide the best possible service. Visit the privacy policy page for a more detailed explanation on confidentiality and how we handle your data.

Live Support

[kin]

1 Corinthians 6:12
“I have the right to do anything” you say — but not everything is beneficial.
“I have the right to do anything” — but I will not be mastered by anything.

This verse serves as a clear warning against engaging in activities that may lead to someone to becoming a slave, we have a choice to choose what we want to do, but such actions may not be good for us.

It is lawful for me to drink or gamble, it is not illegal, but they are not good for me, it can lead to a dependence or slave to them, it can easily lead me to do other things that I should not be doing that could be immoral, illegal, criminal, unlawful or lose all my self-control.

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[kin]

I am very grateful and thankful that I am not suffering from stress, frustration, disappointment and brokenness today.
They are the reasons that has cause me to gamble previously.

Count my blessing
1. I am very grateful that I do not have stress from the daily gamble. I do not have to worry about missing a gamble.
2. I am very grateful that I do not have stress from finding more money to gamble. I do not have to borrow to gamble.
3. I am very grateful that I am not stress from disappointment, frustration, anger and fear after losing a bet.
4. I am very grateful that I do not have stress, worry and fear from more gambling debts.
5. I am very grateful that I did not lose my self-control today. I suffer from poor impulse and emotion control.
6. I am very grateful that I do not get stress from strong urge to chase back gambling loss.
7. I am very grateful that I do not get stress from strong temptation to chase one more win.
8. I am very grateful that I was not stress by inability to sleep due to restlessness and hyperactive gambling mind.
9. The money, and time that was not rob, stolen and taken away by gambling can now be wisely spend in areas loving others and myself.
10. I am very grateful that life was restored back to normal, and I start to have savings.
11. I am very grateful to have normal sleeping patterns. I work. I get tired. I sleep.
12. I am very grateful that gambling is not controlling my life today.

To stop and stay stop;
I need to stay focus on today; not on the future or the past.

1. I need to be honest with myself; I must not leave any loopholes for me to gamble today.
2. I must remove any risk and stay away from danger today.
3. I only need to stop gambling today.
4. I must stick to the plan all the way to the end today.
5. Tomorrow, I do the same.
6. One day at a time.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by kin.

[kin]

What does it feel like when your heart wants to do something?

Your heart, driven by emotions, instincts, and desires pulls you in one direction.

What does it feel like when your mind wants to do something?

Your mind, guided by logic, reasoning, and analysis, urges you to go in another direction.

What do you mean when your heart want to gamble and your mind want to stop gambling?

Cognitive dissonance occurs when two conflicting thoughts are present in the mind at the same time and both thoughts lead to indecision.

For example, your “heart” might say you want to gamble but your “mind” says you cannot gamble.
There is a tug-of-war between emotions and thoughts.

Who will win?
The heart or the mind?

In the Wolf Parable

An elder Apache was teaching his grandchildren about life.
He said to them,” A fight is going on inside me; it is a terrible fight
and it is between two wolves.
One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, competition, superiority, and ego.
The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person too.”
They thought about it for a minute
and then one child asked his grandfather,
“Which wolf will win?”
The old Grandpa simply replied, “The one you feed.

Who are you going to feed, “your heart or your mind.”

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by kin.

[kin]

Hi Cruising,

Thank you for posting.

It is ok to not be ok at times
It is normal to feel all kinds of emotions because mental well-being is about accepting and embracing all these emotions.

It is ok to whine to the rest in your thread, it may be helping another person reading as much as it is helping you.
This way you can let out your frustrations without gambling.

It keeps you safe which is more important.

[kin]

Hi Cruising,

I am glad to see you posting again.
It is very difficult to do recovery on our own. We need one another in here.
We need this village of recovering people. We need their support and help
Their words give us courage, strength and hope.

Journaling is a form of mindfulness exercise, it is a form of mindful writing so keep posting…

[kin]

Growing old has help me to take care of some things.
It was hard when I was younger.

I must not forget where I come from.
If I do nothing, I will end up down there
and if I do something, I will still not be successful,
but I will not be down there.

I am just grateful not to be down there.
I do not have to be a glass full of water;
I am happy to be a glass half full.

Having gratitude and contentment brings me joy and happiness
Having gratitude and contentment keeps me safe and out of troubles.

[Author]

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