[kin]

I will start counting my gamble free days from today dated 23 April 2024.

[kin]

My honest confession:

I am very thankful for the recovery and the relapse in my life.

I am very grateful for the many defeats that I have.
They help me to appreciate the life that I have now.
Otherwise, I would simply forget what it was like and why I should not relapse.

Defeat and relapse help me to remember what my life used to be like
It was painful, dark and hopeless at that time.

My defeat and relapse in recovery have turn me into a better person than I used to be.
My defeat and relapse in recovery have help me grow as a person

My defeat makes me remember why I should not use substance and behaviour to feel good. There are so many other ways to feel good such as helping others, keeping pets and plants, play sports, listening to songs, read and pray.

This new life has given me hope.

[kin]

The Parable of the Rope

The story was about a mountain climber, who wanted to climb the highest mountain.

He began his adventure after many years of preparation, but since he wanted the glory just for himself, he decided to climb the mountain alone.

The night fell heavy in the heights of the mountains and the man could not see anything. All was black. Zero visibility and the moon and the stars were covered by the clouds. As he was climbing only a few feet away from the top of the mountain, he slipped and fell in to the air falling at great speed. He could only see black spots as he went down and the terrible sensation of being sucked by gravity.

He kept falling and in the moments of great fear, it came to his mind all the good and bad episodes of his life. He was thinking now about how close death was getting, when all of a sudden, he felt the rope tied to his waist pull him very hard. His body was hanging in the air.

Only the rope was holding him and in that moment of stillness he had no other choice but to scream, ‘Help me God.’

All of a sudden a deep voice coming from the sky answered, “What do you want me to do?’

‘Save me God.’

‘Do you really think I can save you?’

‘Of course I believe You can.”

“Then cut the rope tied to your waist.’

There was a moment of silence and the man decided to hold on to the rope with all his strength.

The rescue team tells that the next day a climber was found dead and frozen, his body hanging from a rope. His hands holding tight to it. Only one foot away from the ground.

Have you let go of your gambling?
Are you holding on to your gambling? Why?

If you have faith in the Higher Power, do you trust the Higher Power enough to give up all your ways.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by kin.

[kin]

Gratitude turns what we have into enough

[kin]

What is mindful journaling?

Mindfulness journaling is the act of writing down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in a non-judgmental way.

It’s a way to connect with your inner self, deepen your awareness, and cultivate a sense of inner peace.

[kin]

Hi jvr3419

Thank you for sharing.

I enjoy reading your post very much!

[kin]

Hi sarah,

What has been keeping you busy?

I really look forward to reading your life without gambling.

[kin]

Hi risingphoenix,

It was a blessing to be able to read your struggles and success in recovery.

[kin]

Hi marcus,

I truly respect and admire you for staying focus and raising your alert everyday. One day at a time.

I can understand why that is necessary. There are so many unexpected curve balls throw at us in life and we will get tests and trials, distractions and temptations.

Thank you for sharing with us how you keep yourself safe and gamble free.

[kin]

The Story Of A Drowning Man

A man was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.

Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the person shouted to the man on the roof, “Jump in, I can save you.”

The stranded man shouted back, “No, it’s OK, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me.”

So the rowboat went on.

Then a motorboat came by. “The person in the motorboat shouted, “Jump in, I can save you.”

To this the stranded man said, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”

So the motorboat went on.

Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, “Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety.”

To this the stranded man again replied, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”

So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.

Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to ask God, “I had faith in you but you didn’t save me, you let me drown. I don’t understand why!”

God replied to him, “I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter.”

[kin]

When my heart wants to do something, my heart, driven by emotions, instincts, and desires pulls me in one direction.

When my mind wants to do something, my mind, guided by logic, reasoning, and analysis, urges me to go in another direction.

What happen if both my mind and my heart is not giving me the correct direction?

In this situation, if I choose to follow a Higher Power, I would have to deny both my mind and my heart.
I choose to have faith and trust in a Power I cannot see, hear or prove. I just do it.

I have faith in this Higher Power; I believe this Higher Power will not abandon me; I believe this Higher Power will straighten my path; I have trust in this Higher Power.

If I believe and have faith; I will place my trust on it.
Faith recognizes that a chair is designed to support the person who sits on it.
Trust demonstrates the faith by actually sitting in the chair.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by kin.

[kin]

Hi jvr3419,

I was still addressing the same question in my journal today.

Should I follow my heart or follow my mind or follow a Higher Power in recovery?

What happen if my heart or my mind is not giving me the correct direction.
Who else do I seek for correct direction?

[kin]

In recovery, I found a Higher Power.

When my mind and my heart is not giving me the correct direction in life;
Following either one of them gets me into big trouble.
I must not follow my mind and I must not follow my heart.

In recovery, I learn to accept the things I cannot control;
the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

I learn from the people in recovery that I have another choice.
I can give up “my ways” and follow a “new way.”

I learn to deny my ways, anything to do with what “I, me, myself” wants.
Whoever want to follow the new way must give up their ways.

What good will it be for me to gain the whole world, and loses my soul?
What am I willing to give in exchange for my soul?

The price is heavy if I follow my ways; my mind; my heart and gamble.
I may lose all the money; lose my family and any other person important to me in my life;
lose my career and the job I love; everything in my life just simply fall apart.

[kin]

If you are like me, you have questioned yourself, “What is wrong with me.”

They have made you felt so helpless, and useless, weak and vulnerable, like a loser and failure. They never disappear, they will show up in your life, sometime sooner, sometime later.

I need to work my recovery every day to be constantly mindful and be aware of their presence.

If I cannot cure them, I need to stop them;
they are like the enemies that never stop trying.
I need to deter, prevent, protect, minimize the chances of heavy damage and destruction when they strike.

A. Impulsive control disorder

Impulse control disorders are a group of behavioral conditions that involve an inability to control impulses and behaviors or self-control, like angry outbursts and destroying property.

Each impulse control disorder has different signs and symptoms but they all involve a decreased ability to control your own behavior, which often lead people to breaks laws or harm others.

B. Obsessive and compulsive disorder

Obsessive-compulsive disorder features a pattern. Obsessions are lasting and unwanted thoughts that keeping coming back or urges that are intrusive and cause great distress or anxiety. These obsessions lead you to do repetitive behaviors called compulsions.

C. Emotional dysregulation disorder

Emotional dysregulation is a brain-related symptom that means you have trouble managing your feelings and emotions.

Without recovery work, these problems get in the way of our daily activities and cause a lot of distress in our life.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by kin.

[kin]

They interview a very successful casino tycoon.

They ask him why he was not afraid of people who do not gamble and come to the casino for the free food and free drinks.

The casino tycoon says he is only afraid if the people stop coming.

Imagine these people who watch the gamble on the sideline and do not gamble.

After making 12 correct picks on the win. Do you think these people can resist the temptation to bet their own money on the 13th times .

The casino is very evil and wicked; it is one big trap for the vulnerable people.

[Author]

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