[kin]

Hi marcus

I am really glad to read your posts. Like rising phoenix, jvr3419 and many others, your story is a celebration of recovery.

Thank you for sharing.

[kin]

I am reminding myself

15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin in Hebrews 4:15 NIV

When we fail to flee temptation and fall into sin, we should immediately turn our gaze back to Christ in repentance, seeking His forgiveness: “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.

Reject the way you are going and choose an entirely different path.
Jesus spoke of the broad road that leads to destruction and the narrow road that leads to life in Matthew 7:13-14.

Repentance is a change of mind, heart and action – you think differently and as a result, act differently.

Begin by recognizing you are on the wrong path. You are not safe. Your path ends in destruction. Turn around and face the opposite direction.

Repentance before it is too late has save me.
I realize I am heading in the wrong direction;
I stopped and make a U-turn back in the opposite direction.

[kin]

I confessed to Higher Power, to another human being and those reading about my shortcomings and character defects.

Tonight, I have return home after attending a gambling support group. I was not happy with how I behave just now because I heard a newcomer shared that he goes to XX to attend GA meeting.

I had to clarify with him in the group whether he seek professional help like counselling at XX and whether he works the 12 steps recovery program in GA. He neither seek counselling help at XX and didn’t work the 12 steps recovery program in GA. I did not want the others in the group to be confused by him.

I read that crime committed with good intentions are still punishable by the court of law and sins committed with good intentions are still punishable by Higher Power. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut.

I should leave everything to my Higher Power. I should be still and humble. I should focus on my Higher Power. I should trust my Higher Power more. I should put my priority on Higher Power.

I make the mistake of focusing on people and place. I lost my focus on my Higher Power and priority.

God, you say in Isaiah 55:8-9 niv

8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Teach me God, to trust you more and trust me less. Help me God, to be still and humble.

[kin]

Thinking and talking about the things I do in the past in a way glorified my wrongdoings
I cannot afford the consequences of returning back to my gambling and drinking way of life
Looking back and reliving them in my memories can put me at risk of a relapse

Repentance before it is too late has help save me in these situations.
I realize I am heading in the wrong direction so I stop and make a U-turn back in the opposite direction.

Today is the 25th of May, I am clean and sober this month. There is another 6 more days to go – one bad day or relapse will wipeout all the effort completely and turn this month into a nightmare, it will be very painful, frustrating and discouraging. This is the reality of my recovery, every single day clean and sober matters in the end!

• This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by kin.

[kin]

Tonight I pray that I am not going to look back at my gambling days
I am moving forward in my remaining days and giving up my gambling completely

As long as I am attending this support group, I will not gamble
and if I ever gamble, I will not attend this group anymore.

I want to attend this group and stop gambling completely.

[kin]

Q: What is one thing I am doing wrong that I know I can fix

A: my gambling

[kin]

To anyone reading this post

This is a dedication to anyone experiencing failure.

It seems like you have forgotten again. Let me remind you.

When it was hard and you are:

1. overwhelmed
2. afraid
3. walking alone
4. didn’t have the answer
5. couldn’t see the way
6. wanted to give up

You kept going!

• This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by kin.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by kin.

[kin]

I realised that I have always looked back at all the nice things, beautiful person and good feelings I once had and not focusing on the eternal things of God once my life gets uncomfortable.

Physically looking backwards may cause someone to stumble and fall.

Spiritually looking backward can cause someone to return back to their sinful past.

[kin]

I am connected to a community now and I have commited to attending their physical meetings on Tuesday, Friday and Sunday.

The group leader will check on me and remind me not to miss their meetings.

These has help me stay gamble free; it was simpler and easier.

I will have something to look forward in my free time everytime.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by kin.

[kin]

just received the bad news today that I am losing my comfortable and stable job soon. The client did not renew my company contract.

I will be deployed and assign to a new worksite in 2 weeks time. I am worried that I cannot adapt to a new working environment.

[kin]

The heat has improve and less hot compare to March and April
My bleeding has stop
I scrub the dead skin on my face today
The renovation is completed
I have stop coughing and my throat is cleared of phlegm
I am sleeping better. I was able to recharge and restore my energy.
I have more energy at work.
Things are less stressful now.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by kin.

[kin]

What was different and what are the changes I experience recently?

1. Ever since March this year, the weather has been very hot and I was very stress and affected by the heat.

2. I could feel the tension and stress in my body and mind. I blame them on the unbearable heat and my long working hours until I realise that my stomach feels bloated and I was bleeding when passing motion.

3. I was scrubbing dead skin off my face due to my eczema. Eczema is another source of my stress.

4. Renovation at home lasted from 25 April to 7 May and caused a lot of stress from inconveniences to my daily living. I was also worried about additional financial burden from the renovation.

5. I have recovered from cough and phlegm after 2 weeks recently, it has made working tough and stressful. I was more tired at work than usual, I do not have the energy to stay awake and alert for 12 hours as a result of the sickness.

These are the things that I need to adapt and survive during this time every year.

Now I shall reset and reorganize myself. Pick myself up again, dust myself and move on.

I am telling myself to never stay down and give up trying. Seek help if necessary.

I only need to stay focus on today, tomorrow I will do the same.

I do not need to turn to any form of gambling for fun and feel good.
Gambling is not a solution to any problem.

I can always turn to my Higher Power;
I can repent; I can stop and turn back my direction away from wrongdoing;
I can move away from darkness and follow the light.

I pray for mercy, grace and forgiveness from God.
I can find happiness, joy, satisfaction, hope, calm and peace from the progress in recovery.

This journey must continue.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by kin.

[kin]

Everything happen too fast in the past for me to stop myself or describe what was happening.
Today I was in an activity that makes me happy.
Later I sat down to have a cup of coffee and I still feel high
I guess this behavior has made me release dopamine.
It can turn into a problem;
I wanted to continue doing something to keep this high going
Thought to use alcohol and gambling cross my mind;
that would mean a relapse and going against what I have been doing for the past two weeks.

I had a choice and I choose to repent;
I choose not to follow my plan;
I choose to turn back my direction;
I went home and rest instead.
I did not choose alcohol and gambling to get high.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by kin.

[kin]

It was a different group with strong track record in helping people recovering from gambling.

I saw a message on their page which says, “you win the match but what is the consequences”

It reminded me of my first bet in sport and how it eventually always lead to a new rock bottom.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by kin.

[kin]

Hi ididit,

Thank you for sharing your more than 5 years gamble free time!

[Author]

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