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Today’s thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

Has it been a year of growth?

As any year draws to a close, we should reflect on how we have grown in sobriety. We should also identify changes during the year that enabled us to overcome bad habits and to move closer to better patterns of living.

Though we never are guaranteed favorable outcomes, we should always remember that sobriety is its own best reward. We want a full life, of course, but it must begin with a decision to seek and to maintain sobriety at all costs.

We find that with sobriety, lots of other problems seem to solve themselves. Even if they don’t, we have the tools to move forward and to achieve goals that always eluded us while we were drinking. Every year in sobriety is a year of growth.

I’ll be conscious today of recent improvements I’ve made in my life and all my affairs. With sobriety, these improvements will go on for a lifetime.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

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Good Morning Folks

Just want to wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.As tough as my first Christmas without my son is going to be my family and I will try to stay strong and think about the many past great Christmas Days we had with him.

God Bless

Ken

Today’s thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

… [To] take something from yourself, to give to another, that is humane and gentle and never takes away as much comfort as it brings again.
–Thomas More

We take different kinds of pleasure in giving. Perhaps the purest is the gift to a child so young it doesn’t really know who the gift came from; the pure joy that the teddy bear or pull-toy produces is our regard, unmixed by any expectation of return.

When children get older, we want something back from them: gratitude, respect. The gift is less pure. When lovers exchange gifts, their pleasure is often tinged with anxiety: Did I give more than I got? Did I get more than I gave? Or with power: He’ll always remember where he got that shirt; she owes me something for the fur jacket.

To friends and relations our gifts reflect many things: our appreciation of their lives, our shared memories, our prosperity. We tend to give in a spirit of self-expression.

Perhaps the closest we can come to a pure gift is an anonymous one; a gift of volunteer work, of blood, or a contribution to a charity. Such a gift which can never be acknowledged or returned by those it comforts can heal our spirits when they are wearied by too much ego.

The gift of myself can be a gift to myself.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

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Today’s thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

To practice five things under all circumstances constitutes perfect virtue; these five are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness.
–Confucius

Some of us were raised to decline generosity – to argue over who pays the restaurant bill, not to accept money for helping someone out, not to accept food or drink at someone’s home. Some of these beliefs have strong cultural ties. Others are just a fear of imposing. We don’t want to be a bother.

Generosity is a two-way street. It’s just as important for someone to be generous as it is to accept the offerings. Most of us like to be generous. When we’re being genuine, from the heart, with no strings attached, being generous makes us feel good — it makes us feel great. We have no reason to deny others that feeling (unless, of course, there are strings attached). In fact, our own generosity is probably just coming back to us.

Today I will allow others the opportunity to be generous.

You are reading from the book:

Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova

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Today’s thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

Keep your recovery First to make it Last.
–Anonymous

We all encounter places, people, and times of the year which trigger memories of our old lifestyle, pleasant or painful events. Holidays and family gatherings may be especially stressful times for us.

There have always been a lot of expectations associated with holidays. Many of us may feel pressured to fulfill those expectations. We need to remember that it is a naturally stressful time and we may feel more nervous than usual. We can avoid forcing moods or events on ourselves or those around us.

In recovery, we are given tips that have helped many members during the holidays. We plan extra Program activities and keep our phone list handy. We skip any slippery occasions that make us uneasy. We attend special Program events. We take a fellow member with us to a possibly slippery party if we feel uncomfortable going alone.

When I keep my recovery Number One in my mind, the holidays, with the help of my friends, will be enjoyable and less stressful.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

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Today’s thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

Fear is only an illusion. It is the illusion that creates the feeling of separateness – the false sense of isolation that exists only in your imagination.
–Jeraldine Sounders

We are only alone in our minds. In reality, we are each contributing necessary parts offering completion to the wholeness of the universe. Our very existence guarantees our equality, which, when fully understood, eases our fears. We have no reason to fear one another’s presence, or to fear new situations when we realize that all of us are on equal footing. No one’s talents are of greater value than our own, and each of us is talented in ways exactly appropriate to our circumstances.

Freedom from fear is a decision we can choose to make at any time. We can simply give it up and replace it with our understanding of equality with all persons. Taking responsibility for our fear, or our freedom from it, is the first step to a perspective promising healthier emotional development.

If I am fearful today, it’s because I have forgotten the reality of my existence. I am equal to all the people in my world, and we are necessary to one another.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

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Today’s thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

Love one another, but make not a bond of love.
–Kahlil Gibran

Love doesn’t demand; love compromises. It doesn’t possess; it frees. Love doesn’t gloat; it praises. Love makes friends of strangers. It softens our rough edges and strengthens our assets. Knowing we’re loved inspires us and invites forth our best effort. Offering our love humbles us and cultivates an inner joy.

Never, in the name of love, should we direct another person’s life, but instead let’s celebrate the choices made by someone dear, even when they run counter to our own desires. We are each blessed with a destiny, unique and necessary to the others in our lives. We must be allowed to travel our paths to fulfillment.

Let’s free one another and know real love.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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Today’s thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

I am only one, but still I am one.
I cannot do everything, but still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
–Edward Everett Hale

We once heard someone say, “Knowing doesn’t keep you sober, doing does.” We got the point. Our actions, not strictly our knowledge, will help us stay sober. Recovery is a program of action, of doing something that will contribute to our recovery today.

All the knowledge in the world won’t help us recover if we don’t use what we’ve learned. Like good intentions, knowledge is only the beginning. Next, we must do – and not do – the things we’ve learned will help us make progress in recovery.

It’s up to us to put the Steps to work in our lives today. We are responsible for eating right and exercising, going to meetings, finding a Higher Power, and praying or meditating to continually strengthen our spiritual lives.

Knowing what we must do is a good first step. Putting that knowledge into action, one day at a time, will bring us the joys of real recovery and a new life.

Today I pray that, through Your power, I have what I need to take action for my recovery.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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Today’s thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

Will Power – Our willingness to be used by a Higher Power.
–Alcoholics Anonymous

How many times have you wanted something very badly, only to realize at a later date that having it would have been a major disaster? Often we pursue a certain want or desire when the Universe has something entirely different planned – something, which is for our higher good.

For years, Ann wanted to run her own daycare center. An opportunity arose for her to buy a local business, but the deal fell through at the last minute. Bitterly disappointed, she could not understand why her heart’s desire was denied her. Then one day, she and her husband found out about a business that was for sale in a city where they had always wanted to live. Within weeks, they bought the business and moved to their new location. Ann gave thanks that the first opportunity did not work out.

From our earthly vantage point, we can’t always see the big picture. We are like mice running in an open field, sensing what is in front of our noses. Only from the perspective of the eagle can the entire landscape be viewed.

Fortunately, there is a part of yourself that can see like the eagle. You can turn over your life and your plans to that higher vision, and then say with assurance, “It’s all God’s work. It’s all in God’s hands. And I am at peace with this.”

You are reading from the book:

Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch

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Today’s thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

All of my life I been like a doubled up fist… poundin’, smashin’, drivin’ – now I’m going to loosen these doubled up hands and touch things easy with them.
–Tennessee Williams

Everyone has many sides. Some sides are highly developed and other sides aren’t at all. We need not fear turning to a new side and exploring it. This recovery program has enabled us to pursue sides of ourselves that were closed before. When we were lost in our narrow world of codependency and addiction, we had fewer options. Now we have far greater access to our strength and our self-esteem, and we find new parts of ourselves.

Many of us have found relationships, which were never possible before, job choices we would never have had, and the pleasure of greater involvement in life. It is reassuring to see that we don’t always have to give up one side of ourselves to add new ones.

Thanks to God for the many options opening up to me in this renewed life.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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Today’s thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.
–Swedish proverb

During our illness, we hurt others. We hurt ourselves. We messed up a lot. So, a lot of us come into recovery not trusting ourselves very much. The truth is, as addicts, we couldn’t be trusted.

But in recovery, we can be trusted again. We can again live and love ourselves. We do this by finding our spiritual center. This is the place inside of us where our Higher Power lives. We turn our will and our lives over to this spiritual center. We do as our spiritual center tells us. And from our spiritual center, we’ll find our values. We’ll live better lives. We’ll come to trust ourselves again.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, thank you for helping me believe in myself again. I’ll treat myself with love and kindness. I know You want me to.

Action for the Day

Today, I’ll list four ways I couldn’t be trusted during my addiction. I’ll also list four ways I can now be trusted.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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Today’s thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

Worry and Stress

“I’m learning it’s what I do with my today that counts,” said one group member. “I can make this a day to remember or a day to regret just by the kinds of thoughts I have about it.

“Let me explain what happened to make me realize this,” he continued. “Two days ago, I woke up grumbling about my sorry lot in life. My divorce, my bills, and a recent argument with a close friend haunted me. Throughout the whole day I nursed my woes and convinced myself that this was just another rotten day. And do you know what? That’s exactly what it turned out to be! Nothing went right. I even had a second argument with another friend who called to cheer me up.

“Yesterday, I overheard someone say that a person is made or unmade by what he thinks. I thought about this for a while and decided to try it out today. Instead of greeting the day with my usual, ‘Good God, morning!’ I consciously said, ‘Good morning, God!’ with the expectation that it would be a good day. And that’s what it’s been. I even called my two friends to apologize for my previous terrible mood, and I had a warm and friendly conversation with them both!”

TODAY I will lift up my thoughts. In expecting nothing but good to come to me, that is exactly what I will receive.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

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Today’s thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

Worry and Stress

“I’m learning it’s what I do with my today that counts,” said one group member. “I can make this a day to remember or a day to regret just by the kinds of thoughts I have about it.

“Let me explain what happened to make me realize this,” he continued. “Two days ago, I woke up grumbling about my sorry lot in life. My divorce, my bills, and a recent argument with a close friend haunted me. Throughout the whole day I nursed my woes and convinced myself that this was just another rotten day. And do you know what? That’s exactly what it turned out to be! Nothing went right. I even had a second argument with another friend who called to cheer me up.

“Yesterday, I overheard someone say that a person is made or unmade by what he thinks. I thought about this for a while and decided to try it out today. Instead of greeting the day with my usual, ‘Good God, morning!’ I consciously said, ‘Good morning, God!’ with the expectation that it would be a good day. And that’s what it’s been. I even called my two friends to apologize for my previous terrible mood, and I had a warm and friendly conversation with them both!”

TODAY I will lift up my thoughts. In expecting nothing but good to come to me, that is exactly what I will receive.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

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Today’s thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

Sincere love is not born of possessiveness but of necessary space and distance.
–Melanie Gainsley

Dimestore romance novels and the passion frequently portrayed in movies invite us to mimic behavior that’s seldom in our best interests. Focusing attention too narrowly on another person stifles our personal growth, without which we die, as does the relationship, in time.

Real love means we will celebrate one another’s avenue to fulfillment, feeling joy when our paths are parallel, trusting the growth process when our directions seem at cross-purposes. We’ll know that, whatever our destination, we’ll each be in the right place at the right time truly free to love one another – not forced because we’ve been trapped in a binding relationship mistakenly defined as love.

But where are our role models for healthy love? Few of us have been privy to them. And yet, we can discover responsible, loving behavior for ourselves if we’ll risk honesty about our personal goals, our fears, our dreams, and allow our loved ones the same honest openness.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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Today’s thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

Anticipate the good so that you may enjoy it.
–Ethiopian Proverb

Newcomer

I’m getting closer to 90 days – I’m in the 80s now. I’m excited. It’s a miracle that I’ve been able to stay in recovery without interruption for this long. But I feel worried, too – or maybe I’m scared. I don’t know what I’m feeling!

Sponsor

“Anniversary anxiety” is something many of us experience in recovery. For the preceding days or weeks, we’re aware of the upcoming anniversary and its implications. We may anticipate speaking at a meeting or celebrating with recovering friends. Will we measure up to their expectation? To our own?

Perhaps we’ve been sharing our day count and enjoying the applause. As we approach 90 days, we may be afraid we’ll become “invisible” at meetings. Depending on local program and group customs, we may be eligible to chair meetings. Are we going to have to handle more responsibilities than we feel ready for? The day of the anniversary itself, and the days following it, may be a setup for feeling as if we’ve graduated or won an athletic event. We may be afraid that recovery will disappoint us, once the cheering dies down.

It helps to know that this phenomenon is a common one. If you’re experiencing it, one of the best antidotes is to share your concerns, both at meetings and with a sponsor. We’ve been there.

Today, I use the same tools of recovery that worked in the very beginning: meetings, sharing, reading recovery literature, and prayer. They work.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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Today’s thought from Hazelden is:

He who helps a friend in woe is like a fur coat in the snow.
–Russian Proverb

We came in from a very hard life when we came into recovery, kind of like coming in from a blizzard in Siberia! The old life was dangerous, cold, and lonely, and it forced us to use all our energy just to survive. Sooner or later it would have killed us. We were definitely in woe.

Someone – a family member, a friend, a boss, a probation officer – offered us a chance to get sober. That person saved our life, as surely as if he or she walked out into a blizzard and wrapped around us like a fur coat. Thanks to our Higher Power, we accepted the help this time.

In the future we will have the chance to help others who are still out there freezing in the blizzard of addiction. We can offer them the kind of help that saved our life. We can’t make them accept our help though. We just keep it handy, like a fur coat, in case they reach out to accept it.

Prayer For The Day

Higher Power I am willing to help another addict. I will be ready when You put someone in front of me.

Today’s Action

Is there an alcoholic or an addict in my life I wish I could help? I realize that my example is the best way to show them recovery. I will talk with my sponsor about this person and how I am best able to help him or her today.

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me… by Anonymous

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