[kcc123]

Keep posting FM…I stopped and felt I was fine but I am not. I relapsed again. I need to stop.

[kcc123]

Totally agree with you amz. I forgot many times this year and went on a 4 day straight gambling binge. I am almost totally broke again. I am back to starting all over again.

[kcc123]

I think what you said about journeys being different is spot on. We can all relate to each others struggles though. These forums help me realize we have a shared vice.

[kcc123]

I agree with the Slips/Relapse category. However, I don’t think we should dwell or look too much in the future. Be present and make good choices now.

[kcc123]

Hope all is well and remember to enjoy life. Gotta finish up the work day and get the weekend started.

[kcc123]

The most important barrier is home equity to my house. My mom takes care of all of the housing taxes and finances . I don’t even look at how much it’s worth or anything. I went a week homeless in my lifetime due to gambling many years ago. I had to make a decision to ask for help or be prideful and stay homeless.

Anyway…marking an account as unavailable is a good idea. I tried in the past but failed. I will try again. I don’t really want to have my parents handle my day to day cash flows. I will think of more barriers that are realistic.

[kcc123]

Thanks for the message. I did not gamble yesterday and feel good for not giving into temptation. I just have to continue to live in the moment and stay strong. Your reminder of despair and total destruction is a great reminder.

[kcc123]

tempting to gamble today. but I won’t. temptatuon is there when you have extra funds but I choose not to gamble.

[kcc123]

Forgive yourself. Much love to you.

[kcc123]

I was tempted to bet on the Belmont Stakes this early evening but resisted. I was depressed because I did not know what to do with my free time. I watched some streaming videos and took a two hour nap. I am now awake at 10 PM and not feeling happy. I know I will have my bad days with my mood. I do not want to switch to any destructive addictions either. I have to stay strong and let this pass. Looks like another night home alone watching On Demand Cable TV.

[kcc123]

I been there many times where I have been broke and pennyless. This is a good time to remind yourself how gambling takes away your time and money. You can survive. I remember when I was eating turkey dogs for 3 days straight. and it made me stronger. I don’t want to live like that again.

[kcc123]

Okay, so I’m back to one day without gambling. Besides gambling, I have developed new hobbies as a result of not gambling for a while. Like yesterday night, I went to kickboxing class. I do back office work for a bank and have the week off. I been sitting at home most of the time. This week has given me time to think and reflect. I fell into a spiral of gambling online on horses the past six Saturdays. The gambling helped me escaped loneliness and whatever negative feelings I was feeling. But now I’m broke and regretful. I’m will be okay though, I had put a lot of my life back together. I just need to start again and build on my positives. Thanks for the comments and I’ll continue to read the forums to help in my journey to recovery. AIso, I hope to share my story and help others if possible also.

[kcc123]

I have set up some roadblocks and it has helped but if I really wanted to gamble I would. I went to a few GA meetings but they have not been too helpful because it was hard for me to relate to some of the people there. I just need to stay on course and remind myself that I have a problem. I am in overdraft and just want to hide from the world, but I won’t. I just need to accept it and move on. I will continue to read more stories and start using this site as an outlet. I find it helpful.

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