[kathryn]

Daisy,
I strongly suggest you pick the Saints to be your footy team of choice if you dont follow anyone!!! lol.  I cant find a thread from you so ill just have to write here…have i missed it…let me know if i have.  4 days is fantastic, if you really wanted to gamble you would find a way.. i was very good at that believe me!  Im so pleased you have a supportive partner. You are doing all the right things to prevent yourself gambling on payday.  As you said, its just another day and it is a good feeling when you get through it knowing you have paid what you need to for that day and have a little left over for yourself.
I went and bought myself some really good face cream on my first payday after quitting…its meant to get rid of the wrinkles. Im still waiting!!!! lol
Anyway, you are doing really well, i truly believe that reading and posting on this site is a blessing, not only does it keep us busy, i usually get a good laugh from it!
Have a great day, by the way, where are you in Oz? (you dont have to tell me if you dont want to)
Bye for now, Kathryn xx ps, Sherry, i dont really think im that interesting to tell the truth, i just never shut up!!!
 Fighting the good fight…One day at a time

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Danielle, footy is played with and oval ball and it is kicked and marked (some guys get 10ft in the air) to their end.  There are 4 posts, kick in between the 4 and you get a goal (6pts) kick either side and its 1 point.  It is an awesome game, it can be extremely rough, there is no padding worn by players and there is quite a bit of skill involved.  It is also really fast…the ball starts in the middle of the ground and a goal can be kicked in as little as 10 seconds.  Anyway, i hope i explained that properly. I have a very sore throat today from too much yelling!!!
Im having a lazy one today, a bit of housework and im going to cook a lovely meal, roast vegies and cauliflower and broccoli in cheese sauce. Havent decided on the meat yet, im leaning towards steak.
I havent had any urges as yet, i babysat my friends 2 kids this morning for about an hour so i was busy.  Master 10 has a friend over so they’re ok. 
I need to go and have a shower and scrub my hair…its a bit feral!!!!
Anyway, wishing you all a wonderful gamble free day,
Bye for now, Kathryn xxFighting the good fight…One day at a time

[kathryn]

Oh Vera, you know me soooo well!!!
That was hysterical, i nearly wet myself laughing.  The perfect end to a perfect day for me.  I went to the footy, had a wonderful time and to top it off my team won.  By a goal…thats 6points, a tiny margin in aussie rules.  I am ho**** from screaming and sore from dancing…i danced up a storm when they won and played the team song. 
Mind you, they played it 3 times. I had a brilliant time, it was great to see my sister and my nephew and my daughter and i laughed and laughed (until the score got close, then i couldnt speak!!) My son on the other hand decided to switch sides 3/4 of the way through…he was wearing a team hat and jumper with a jacket over the top.  He took the hat off and zipped up the jacket and said he was going for the other team ( they were very close to being in front). Well our team kicked 2 goals and what happened…the hat went back on and the jacket unzipped to show his colours. My sister and i were crying laughing.  How gorgeous is that.  There were 54,444 people there, a record for that arena and the noise was incredible.  The roar went right through me.  I loved it.  Anyway, im sure you can see that im excited we won… the other bonus is i didnt gamble (day 24).
Have a great gamble free day everyone, cant wait for group next week,
Kathryn xxFighting the good fight…One day at a time

[kathryn]

Hi all,
I had a very busy day at work today…then came home to the grumpy hubby. Got to love it! Just what i needed.  Thoughts turned straight to gambling = straight on this site and feeling much better.
Angel i just wanted to let you know that i do think of gambling A LOT. But never to the point that i would go, besides, i cant, i would be removed. The thought of that actually makes me smile.  I wish you could all see what i see when i imagine getting thrown out.  Hysterical (funny) then hysterical (crying!!!)
I havent done anything in the form of gambling since i stopped 23 days ago. There are a lot of things that i know dont bother me in terms of gambling eg. betting on horses, sports, lottery, bingo etc.  Still, im not prepared to try it out. Its not worth the risk.  So im off to the big footy game tomorrow, im really looking forward to spending the arvo with my sister, nephew and my kids.
I hope you all have a happy gamble free day,
Bye for now, Kathryn xx PS- thanks to all that posted..you know it makes my day Fighting the good fight…One day at a time

[kathryn]

Thank you all for your fantastic posts…i feel better knowing i did make SOME sense…
Now i know you have all been waiting with baited breath for my Britney Spears news….YAY…i got the tickets!!! Im so excited, i do like her but more importantly, i am going to have a weekend in Sydney with my daughter.  We have never really done anything together…If you could have seen us this morning trying to get those tickets…it was insane..i was having a heart attack cause it kept saying to try again.  Beside the point really.
I had never been to Sydney and this year will be 3 times!!!
Ok, back to the gambling..no thoughts as yet today, too busy!!! im babysitting a little boy today, he is beautiful, i call him the silent assasin, he gets into everything and you never hear him. lol .
I have been enjoying group immensly, although my husband came out last night and cracked it cause i was on here again… i dont particularly care, and im not going to feel bad because im finally doing something for me.  He will just have to get over it…
Im working this afternoon, the kids are behaving beautifully (thank goodness) and im looking forward to another gamble free day (22 today)
Bye all, and wishing you the same…
Kathryn xxFighting the good fight…One day at a time

[kathryn]

Hi all,
Thanks for your post pinkie, i am not able to think past today at this point…the thought of never gambling again is terrifying, even though i dont want to do it, i can only not do it for today and thats enough for me.  I have a million todays coming up and if i just get through one at a time then ill be ok.
School holidays…mmmm…they drive me a little nutty.  I was so happy to go to work last night.  It was an easy night, cruisy, which was nice for a change.  The kids have been a little niggly towards each other this morning and im a bit tense, i have to go and help a friend clean a little house at lunchtime (we’ve been doing it for years) so i might see if she wants to have a coffee afterwards.  We both need a break, she has 2 little ones.  My daughter is babysitting both her and my kids while we do it so whats an extra half an hour?
I havent had any gambling thoughts today as yet (its early). I have the day off so im going to go have a shower, have some breaky and tidy up a bit before i get picked up. Im looking forward to group tonight, its at 7pm here, i sat up till 1am last night and could barely put one foot in front of the other, but in saying that, the group sessions relieve a lot of my tension. I hate to miss them.
Its 3 weeks for me today, i cant believe it…in one sense it has gone quickly as ive been logging on to this site every day, but in the other…. it feels like every day has been a week.
I hope you all have a happy gamble free day,
Bye for now, Kathryn xxFighting the good fight…One day at a time

[kathryn]

Hi All,
I had an interesting conversation last night, and i have had a bit of a change of thought when it comes to guilt…
I have always felt guilty, for losing our home, putting us in financial despair, ruining what could have been a wonderful life, for things i have and dont have.
Well i have come to see that im looking at things a bit backwards.  I hope this makes sense cause im still trying to wrap my brain around it.  Ive really realised that it was the addiction working through me…not me in that i did not want to become who i became, a lying, scheming, thief.
I have realised after all this time that i have a true addiction, it sounds wierd i know but it has made me understand that the addiction did this to me…not me to myself. (does that make sense, im not sure)
In any case i am not going to feel guilty anymore, im letting it go, guilt is what makes us gamble, we dwell on all the things we have done and that little gambling monster says ‘good, you think that, and go and gamble and you can zombie out and I WIN!’ Im not giving him the satisfaction anymore.  Not to say i dont have regret..i think they are two very seperate things.
I will remember the things i regret, to keep me on this path of recovery, but i am not, for one minute going to feel guilt.  I cant change what has happened, but i can certainly change how i think now.
I still dont know if im making any sense, the words are in my head but i dont know if they are coming out right…im sure you will let me know!!!!
Im living for today, for my future and the future of my family.  20 days today, i never thought i could do it. And for the one who helped me…you know who you are and thank you, i woke up a different person this morning.
Wishing you all a happy gamble free day, Kathryn xxFighting the good fight…One day at a time

[kathryn]

I have been on group the last 2 nights and laughed and laughed…so i thought id inject some humour into my thread, after all, laughter is the best medicine!!!
We had a conversation last night about underpants (dont ask) and i called them budgie smugglers (tight mens underpants) then i thought…im going to give you a taste of aussie slang. Now, before you read on be warned…some of the words are a bit rude… now i know your going to read it!!!!
Dead Horse=sauce
Cheese and Hisses=missus (wife, girlfriend)
Trouble and Strife=wife
frog and toad=road
couple of red hots=pots (the aussie beer glass)
bold as brass=starts with a ends with rse
braisen bits= starts with t ends in its
niagra falls=mens apendage, starts with b ends in alls
rubberty=pub
pineapples=aussie $50 note
snakes hiss=starts with p ends with iss
drop ya guts=starts with f ends with art.
I hope i gave you a smile today…my husband helped me, all the rude ones of course.
Hope you had a lovely gamble free day and i didnt offend anyone..
Bye for now, Kathryn xxFighting the good fight…One day at a time

[kathryn]

Hey Al,
Yes there is irish blood flowing through these veins…my brother went to ireland late last year and found records of my great, great, great grandfather. I cant remember where in ireland he went, he wrote to mum and it had all the info on it, i will have to have a look and let you know…to be sure, to be sure.
Bye for now, Kathryn xxFighting the good fight…One day at a time

[kathryn]

I have to agree with you Vera, im really trying to make up for lost time so to speak!
Sitting and listening to my children, yes really listening, and talking TO them not AT them. Trying to make a little time for myself, usually to come on this site and have a read.  Im making a conscious effort to enjoy my days, trying to keep the little devil on my shoulder quiet for a little while (thats not easy).
I still hear the machines singing in everything i do, theres always something that reminds me, a sound, a picture.
You know better than anyone Vera the terrible thing i did when i was gambling, i dont know that i can ever forgive myself, but, im trying to have a better day everyday.  I have to put it behind me but i will never forget.
I think ive lived over half my life, i cant imagine myself living to a ripe old age…i smoke too much!!! In saying that it is my  intention to make the most of time. Its too precious to be sitting in those stinking venues throwing my money away.
I hope you are all having a wonderful day,
Bye for now, Kathryn xxFighting the good fight…One day at a time

[kathryn]

So here i am, day 17 yipee…
Im sitting in my lounge, surrounded by my family, football on the telly, roast pork in the oven ( no swine flu jokes please!!!) and thought id reflect on my weekend.
My biggest urge to gamble was on Friday night before i left for my GA meeting…weird i thought, but i went to the meeting as planned (took $10 for the collection plate) and it was good, im still not sure if GA is for me but im determined to stick it out for 6mths and then see how i feel.
Saturday i slept in until 10am, i nearly died when i woke up and saw the time but i got up, made coffee, read the paper, my favourite thing to do.  We then went down to the local football, the weather was magnificent for winter, sunny and warm…the kids played on the park all day and i only saw them when they wanted a drink or something to eat.  We then came home and watched more football (we love football if you didnt notice!!)
Today was market day, my step father sells vegetables (the best spuds in Australia) and ive been helping him for the last 8yrs.  It gets extremely busy. I was there till lunch time and then came home, tidied the house, vacumed the carpet, and then had a power nap on the couch.  I went and visited mum for a coffee when i woke up, came home and got the vegies for tea ready and am now sitting here watching, you guessed it, football!!!
So i was wondering, how the hell could i possibly have time to gamble with all that going on? Now that ive read it back, i really have been busy this weekend. I need a weekend off to get over my weekend!!! The kids are on 2wks holidays now so ill have to keep them busy.
Hope you all had a lovely gamble free day, bye for now, Kathryn xxFighting the good fight…One day at a time

[kathryn]

I have been reading and reading and writing and writing tonight, thouroughly enjoyable!!!
Heres my question….what is an indian casino? I have never heard of it and im assuming it is associated with the American Indians.  Could someone please fill me in? Thanks in advance….
Kathryn xxFighting the good fight…One day at a time

[kathryn]

Firstly, thanks Danielle and Nancy for your posts…very wise and true.
I had to go and re-self exclude today…seems the one i did last week didnt cover all the venues and i had to go and do another one today. I took Brea with me, we had to do some shopping anyway, some stuff for her new job, stuff for school, hey, i think i spent all my money on her!!!!! It was nice to be able to do it without worrying that i wouldnt have enough left to gamble.
So Brea came with me and watched me sign the papers and have the mug shot…we went grocery shopping on the way home and when i was finished and going to the car she said she needed to go back and get something for herself.  I went and put the groceries in the car and when she came out she had a bunch of flowers for me.  She told me she was so proud of me..wasnt that lovely.
Shes a very thoughtful girl, that daughter of mine. Im very lucky to have her and that she turned out so well, considering…
Anyway guys, im going to a meeting tonight, day 15 and i cant wait to say that in my therapy.  I hope you are all having a lovely gamble free day, i sure am! Bye for now, Kathryn xxFighting the good fight…One day at a time

[kathryn]

I feel like taking everything about my husband back tonight. Stubborn, opinionated SOB.
As you know,i was taking the kids to the movies tonight. And i did and hubby decided to come.  We went to the movies together, all 5 of us for the first time ever!
The movie was great, master 10 cried a few times, his favourite transformer was not doing so well but it all went well in the end.
So we had a great time, was driving home, talking all about the movie, what everyones favourite bit was and all that.  We were 1 minute from home and i made a comment about the movie that he didnt agree with, nothing bad i just said we didnt see a lot of humans getting killed ( for a change) and he went ballistic, saying i was an idiot, what movie was i watching etc etc. Brea actually agreed with me and he proceeded to go ballistic at her. It was awful.  I said to him cant we even have a conversation about a movie  and he said no and that was it. We got home and he went to bed and im sitting here with steam coming out of my ears.
It shows me that we really cant do a lot together.  We never have, we have had seperate holidays, seperate friends, seperate lives. Yes he had forgiven me, yes he gives me his money every week but i can see us going seperate ways one day because whatever we do ends in disaster.
Sorry guys, i just needed to have a vent. Thanks for reading
Kathryn xxFighting the good fight…One day at a time

[kathryn]

So last night i was on the site till 1am.  Does anyone recall what i like to call ‘pokie eyes’?
You know, when youve been playing for hours and hours, watching the reels spin.  Im almost crosseyed, my eyes are stinging, and it takes a few days for my eyes to settle down.  Remember?  Well thats what i was like last night. It was funny, when i went to bed i thought ‘pokie eyes’, but then i thought, no, i wasnt gambling.  I wonder if anyone has any interesting names i can call it??? Seeing as im about 9hrs in front of the uk, the group therapy sessions are very late but i dont want to miss them.  I slept in this morning, master 10 came running in at 8.15, he leaves for school at 8.25. Oh dear!
I went to suss out the gym today and it was closed!!! I wonder if someone is trying to tell me not to go? So I went op shopping (i think you call them thrift stores) and i found a lovely outfit to wear to the gym!!! (if it ever opens)
Im taking my kids to the movies to see Transformers 2 tonight, the boys are beside themselves with excitement although Harry hasnt been to the movies before so i hope he enjoys it.  Brea is coming cause she gets a free ticket to the movies!!! Shes not silly. Im looking forward to it.  They go on holidays from tomorrow for 2 weeks and i have always dreaded them, still do a bit but im going to try and do a lot with them, even just a walk along the beach ( thanks Vera, it sounded so nice when you did it with your son )
Anyway, wishing you all a wonderful gamble free day, oh and by the way, im 2weeks today…yay!!
Bye for now, KathrynFighting the good fight…One day at a time

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