[kathryn]

Hi All,
I am feeling much better today, yes Sherry, it could well be the hormones, who knows but i woke up feeling fine this morning.  So i thought i would fill you in on my skinny jean tale…
Friday i went into town with Jodie.  I have a beautiful pair of long black boots and i have been dying to wear them over my jeans but as the ones i own are all wide leg i knew i had to go and get some ‘skinny ones’.
Enter in to the shop, the barely 18 y/o girl greets us and i tell her what i want…jeans to go in my boots…skinny jeans she replies.  So we pick a size, i tell her im a 13 and she gets them…i squeeze into them and get them done up and walk out of the change room…"TOO BIG" she yells and gets me a 12 (hmmm im feeling pretty good at this stage!).  I squeeeeeze into the 12’s, but, they are very low waisted and i need something to hold in my tummy so i ask if she has these and she says "look, i want you to try on a pair of mens jeans", "ok" i say, whatever.  She gives me a mens size 12 and they go on ok, they are nice and high waisted, but when i come out she yells "too big" you need an 11.  This is where it gets wierd….i get the 11 on, by this time, im hot, bothered and out of breath, but, i cant get them done up.  She then says…"get down on your knees and bend backwards and they will do up", so stupid me does it, im on the floor, in obvious pain, counting to 3 and trying to do up the jeans. The old rhino was back, huffing and puffing but…i did get them done up.  "hooray" the sales girl yells…Im standing there, looking at her, nearly being cut in half by these jeans and i say to her…"honey, if i have to do that everytime i want to wear these, well, forget it!".
So in the end, i opted for the first pair of 12’s…and ill wear spanx to keep the belly in line.  I was absolutely exhausted by the end of it all.  Why oh why do i let these people do this to me.  After that, Jode and i went and had a coffee, and we laughed and laughed.  I once made her go into this ‘healing centre’ to have a try of drum therapy…we had to stand there while this man banged a drum really close to our bodies…freaky!!!  Im sure she thinks its payback!!! What goes around comes around.
Have a great day, bye for now, Kathryn xx Life is about falling….living is about getting up!

[kathryn]

Do you know that feeling…of wanting everyone to leave you alone, of wanting to curl up and sob for an hour?  I have that feeling right now in this very moment…and i have absolutely no idea why.Life is about falling….living is about getting up!

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Well, i think Brea did ok in her exams…she came out and said it was fine!  She answered everything, had time to read over her answers and was really happy with what she had written..1 down, 5 to go!
I had a really lovely day today.  Dames and i took the boys to Kmart, they bought some Leggo, Dames got some stuff and i was very good and didnt buy anything, unless you count  a new pair of kitchen tongs!!
We came home and lazed about all afternoon, the boys put on a movie and played with their leggo, it was the first time we had taken them out shopping for a while, last time we went i said they were never going again due to their behaviour, but they were angels.  I had a nap, then got up and made dinner.  After cleaning up, there was a big storm coming over, fork lightning everywhere, big claps of thunder, so the boys and i got the patio furniture and set it up  and sat and watched the storm.  They are usually scared so i tried to tell them the little i know about storms and all the made up things i had been told as a child.
We had a lovely time, they were quite interested in the made up things…the clouds are playing football, that was their favourite.  It was great to spend some real time with them.  I feel very contented today.  I am just about to head to bed but wanted to write of my lovely day before i woke up tomorrow and had forgotten it! I do have a great story about my skinny jean shopping on Friday…but ill save that for later, its a hoot!
Anyway, happy halloween to all who celebrate it…we hung a skeleton in the window, not much i know, but i had to do something after all the hype!!!!
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xx Life is about falling….living is about getting up!

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Well the shopping trip was a success.  I put one thing in my basket to try on and then i was like a crazy woman, picking up clothes everywhere.  I got 4 tops and 2 bottoms.  So im still going to town today with Jode, we have a few things we need to get and then im all done.
Brea has her first final exam today…english.  I thing she is pretty prepared, she has been studying very hard so i just know she will do well.  I did tell her though, that at the end of all of this, if she doesnt get the score she needs i know she has done her best and we will look at other avenues.  I put too much pressure on her, because she has never really been in trouble, i guess we expect her to do well all the time and thats not fair.
In saying that, she is very clever and i would be very surprised if she doesnt get what she needs to get into her university course.  Hmmm, bragging mother…..YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!!!
No thoughts of gambling, which is nice, theres nothing like shopping to take your mind of it!
I hope you have a great day all, we are expecting thunderstorms today, i love them, so hopefully it will be when im sitting at home, exhausted and i can enjoy the show!
Bye for now, Kathryn xx
Life is about falling….living is about getting up!– 30/10/2009 11:28:09 AM: post edited by kathryn.

[kathryn]

Hi All,
It is the most magnificent day here today, glorious would be the word i would use…..so i know you have all been waiting to hear the name of the car.  I just asked Brea and she has called it….INDIGO!  Little Indy.  She googled the word purple and she liked that one the best so there you go!
She is going to get her hair done this morning, and then we are going to take Indy for a drive.  A new Target store has opened up not far from us and we are going to go and have a look after i drop H off at kinder.  Hopefully, i will find myself some summer clothing, my wardrobe is a bit sp****.  I need some T-shirts and 3/4 pants.  Today being payday means i can afford to spend a little, and i am in desperate need.  If that fails, im going in to town with Jode tomorrow for round 2!
I had a great night at work, i know im mean but the Div 1 i work with came down sick and i got to work with my favourite one so it was a very laid back night.  Im now on a 4 day break, not sure at this stage if im doing anything exciting, although there is a free day at a local aquatic centre on Sunday which i think the boys would love.  Ill just see how the weather goes.
So theres my report for the day, i hope you all have a wonderful day.
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxLife is about falling….living is about getting up!

[kathryn]

Hi again!!!
So i wanted to write and tell you about the trip to the pool.  As usual, nothing is ever easy for me.  Harry and i went to the school, and, of course he wanted to go to the toilet when we arrived so i took him, and as he goes into the toilet all the kids from Baileys class came past.  Now, usually Harry is the quickest toilet goer in the world, but not today….im standing outside the door yelling in like a banchee, and then when he finally comes out what do we do??? We have to RUN to catch up…did i mention i was RUNNING!!!! Hmmmm, for those of you that dont know me very well, i do not ever ever ever run!
So Harry and i finally catch up to the group, im puffing like an old worn out rhino, trying to look like im not puffing..(did i mention that Baileys teacher is very easy on the eye?) so im trying to look so cool, like my heart is not about to pound out of my chest and i want to collapse on the spot, like i run ALL the time and that 100metre sprint just didnt nearly kill me!!!
So we get to the pool and Bailey jumps in…god bless him, he spent the whole time waving to me and making sure i was watching him that he barely swam at all.  Now all this happened in an hour or so…what a funny day now that i look back at it, im actually lol right now just reading this back.  The walk home was very easy…no running there!!!
So there was my trip to the pool, i thought you might find some amusement in it as i did.  If i was gambling, i wouldnt be able to re-tell my tale, and i wouldnt have a happy son, who even though barely swam a stroke, was thrilled that his mum was there to watch him.
Take care all, bye for now, Kathryn xxLife is about falling….living is about getting up!

[kathryn]

Hi All,
I have always dreamed of the ho-hum, the ordinary, the ‘normal’…and now i have it, i dont quite know what to do with it.  You are right Meg, i did think that there would be some never ending party going on!  Ive changed my life, ive worked damn hard to do it, so where are those fireworks?  Somehow, ironing just doesnt cut it (although i did get it done, hope that gives you some inspiration V!) Is this what my life was like before i had a gambling addiction?  I dont remember, it was that long ago.  BUT, in saying all that, i have to say that my life is wonderful, i wouldnt go so far as to say peaceful, but im working towards that goal.  Im still not good at stopping and smelling the roses,  i am still in the mindset that something is going to happen, what, i dont know!
All i can do is not gamble, i need to learn to just let life be life and take the good with the bad.  I am going up to the school today, Bailey is having swimming lessons so we are going to walk up to the pool and watch him.  I used to dread things like that, it took away from my gambling and in a way i still feel that way.  Its almost like in my head im saying, bugger, i have a commitment and id rather be anywhere but there.  Its not that i dont want to go, but i always feel that there is something better just around the corner.  Does that make sense?
I am working tonight, one more shift and im off for 4 days.  I have a lot to look forward to, my trip with Brea to Sydney, her graduation, my holidays (cant wait for that one!).  
I am no longer gambling, and im so grateful for that.
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xx Life is about falling….living is about getting up!

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Well today was a little less productive than i would have liked…maybe it was the hour long nap on the couch at 2 o’clock that did it.  I had grand plans of doing my massive basket of washing, its still sitting there, looking at me, saying "i dare you to start"….i did do most of the housework, although we had no water today as they were doing something, and turned it off.  In reality though, my plans didnt really involve water, although i did make sure i was up early for a shower!!!
I think today was the very first day that i didnt have one thought of gambling.  Its not till right now that i realise i didnt think of it at all, in any capacity, except when i logged on here this morning for a look. Even then i was checking out who posted, so theres a first.
So at the end of the day i feel i didnt really get much done, which i dont like.  But i did enjoy the nap. I think i will go and do that dreaded ironing now, before tea, before group, because if i dont, it will still be there in the morning giving me the evil eye!!!
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxLife is about falling….living is about getting up!

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Words cannot express how happy i am that my weekend is over.  It was so emotionally draining, i am just starting to relax now.  So on to next week…my dinner at my sisters was lovely, it was great to see my neice, she looks fantastic, and who wouldnt, spending the last 6 months jetting around the world. It was lovely to catch up.
Damian is cooking me a roast pork dinner tonight, yum. I am looking forward to some family time this week, and it always takes me a couple of days to catch up on the house after my busy week, but it will be nice knowing i have 4 days off after Wed.  I really havent thought too much of gambling this week, its usually when its quiet around here that my thoughts drift off, and i really have been too busy to think about it. 
I hope you have all enjoyed your weekend, i often think of you all, wondering what you are all doing, take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxLife is about falling….living is about getting up!

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Well i have not long got home from work and im really tired.  I am going to my sisters tonight for dinner, my neice (her daughter) who was married in march has just come back from her 6 month honeymoon overseas…sigh.  Anyway we are going to catch up so that will be lovely though in reality i would just like to go to bed.  Oh well.
Gambling has not been a big part of my week, my thoughts have been occupied with other things, i did go for a big of a shop yesterday morning with Jode.  I bought a dinner set, mine does not have 1 pair of matching plates so now i am all matching.  I actually bought 2, i gave one to mum to give to me for christmas! I dont have a lot to report, just getting through my big work week and trying to keep this house up to scratch…i am soooo sick of washing.
Anyway, i hope you all have a great weekend, my computer is playing up a bit and keeps freezing so i have to try and post quick until i can workout how to fix the damn thing.
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxLife is about falling….living is about getting up!

[kathryn]

Hi All,
I had a massive cleaning day today..the warm weather brings out the cleaner in me and i felt great when it was all done.  Tomorrow is a public holiday, no school, so i have the boys home, so im glad i did it all today, i can sleep in in the morning and laze around…no housework, well, not much, theres always something to be done.
I spent a bit of time with Jodie today which was nice.  She is just about to start her busy time with her cleaning business and she always gets stressed out.  Although this year is different, she has 2 little boys to contend to as well.  No wonder she is stressed.  Once its all underway its fine. Her husband and mine had a big falling out about 2 years ago.  They have only just started talking now, which im really happy about as it means we can spend some time at their place this summer.  They are both as bad as each other!  Jode and i didnt get involved, we decided early on to stay out of it, i wasnt losing her as a friend because our men couldnt get on.  Things were said by both of them that shouldnt have been, to a third party to which he gleefully repeated and i believe he made up quite a bit of it.  Anyway, the third party is no longer welcome at my home.  They say women are bitchy!!!!
I took Brea for a drive this afternoon, she is getting quite good but i still pull her up on some things.  She has a bit of a lead foot. They are not allowed to go for their licence until they have had 120hrs of practice…thats a lot but we have got about 50hrs down, so we are getting there.  Ill make sure she has them up by January.
Thats about my day today, i got a lot achieved home wise.  Gambling has been on my mind the last few days, not in the sense that i can go as ill be thrown out, but in that if i hadnt excluded i proboably would have.  Im not sure why…maybe im not being as aware as i should be, ive been a bit down, very short tempered and its my dreaded big week at work.  Well today, i will not gamble!
Have a great day all, bye for now, Kathryn xxLife is about falling….living is about getting up!

[kathryn]

Hi everyone,
Thank you all who posted and cheered me up.  I did feel much better when i woke up this morning, i did have a fight with Bailey though, he told me he hadnt handed in the envelope for his school swimming lessons last friday.  I thought he had given the money away ($35) Until i rang the school to confirm we were giving each other daggers.  I then apologised to him for yelling, and he apologised for yelling back!
I went and visited mum this morning, she is getting old.  She will be 80 next year and although she had been pretty lucky health wise, her mind is very slowly going somewhere else.  It frightens me, but whatever happens we will deal with it and in reality i dont think we will be dealing with anything for quite some time to come.
Brea has only 2 days of school left EVER! She is so excited, she has ‘muck up day’ on thursday, you know, where they go and do…im not sure, but there was a list of things sent home that they couldnt do.  The year 12’s then put on a concert for the rest of the school…she is doing Michael Jacksons ‘Thriller’ dance with a heap of other girls.  What great funs she is going to have.  I hope she takes it in because the real world is beckoning her, and even though i know she is going to have a great life, dont we all look back with a little envy of the free spirit of 18yo.. the world is their oyster.   Bailey is having swimming lessons all week, apart from Wed, its a public holiday here for the Geelong Cup, a big racing event, hmmmm, dont think ill be going to that one although im working and get public holiday rates so thats a bonus for me.  We are waiting in anticipation of Harry’s bottom tooth to fall out, he’s already lost the top 2, so if he loses the bottom 2 he is going to have the worst lisp, which will be soooo cute.  Im sure he is petrified its going to fall out and he will swallow it!
I had a decent night at work tonight, no dramas although im wondering if its a full moon, the dementia residents were going beserk, wandering, fighting, crying, yelling, it just went on and on.  Im glad to be sitting in my nice quiet lounge.  I have tomorrow off, its going to be 28c, our first real warm day.  I am getting up early and stripping all the beds so i can get them washed and on the line…..what else would i be doing except washing!!!
Anyway, ive rambled enough, im sure as you see by my post i am feeling a lot better.
I hope you have all had a great day, bye for now, Kathryn xxLife is about falling….living is about getting up!

[kathryn]

I have had a very ordinary day.  I was flat, tired, sad, angry, upset…i think it may be the hormones! Plus, my computer wouldnt stop freezing, i was getting 10 minutes of internet before it would freeze.  grrrrrr. Not happy.  I have downloaded something that is meant to stop the computer freezing, and so far so good, but i hope i did the right thing, i am so bad with computers, totally illiterate.  Well, it hasnt frozen yet so i think i may be ok.
I didnt do a lot today, i was spending so much time here, trying to fix it that the day just flew and before i knew it, it was over. So im waking up with a new attitude tomorrow, i did go for a walk with Jode today, so that was something.
I hope you all had a good weekend, i feel i have done nothing for myself, which may attribute to my mood.  I also think im more than ready for holidays…only a month to go!
Take care all, bye for now, Kathryn xx
 Life is about falling….living is about getting up!

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Well, we went and picked up the ‘purple’ car this morning.  Brea was at work and i drove it down there and picked her up in it.  She is still on her learners permit so Damian and i have to be with her in the car. She will go for her licence in January.  Im glad she will be used to it by the time she is allowed to drive all by herself.  She drove it home and smiled all the way, just gorgeous.
If i was still gambling there is no way in hell i could have bought it for her.  That smile was all i needed to know that every day i dont gamble makes life worthwhile.
Last night Brea was looking on ebay for dresses to wear to her validictory dinner next month.  She found one she liked and asked if i could put it on my credit card.  I said that was fine and began to fill it all in.  When i got to the amount, it was $30.  I nearly died, i thought i would be paying at least $100.  Brea then came out to me with the $30.  I told her i was buying her dress and she said ‘you just bought me a car’.  Little does she know that that dress is the bargain of the century, i was more than happy to pay for it!
Im having a lazy weekend, there is nothing on, which i am grateful for.  Sometimes you just have to do nothing!
I hope you all have a great weekend, bye for now, Kathryn xxLife is about falling….living is about getting up!

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Well…we got the car.  It was amazing, we went to the caryard, Brea saw one she liked (its purple!) and we took it for a drive, it went really well.  I checked all the things Damian told me to and went over it with a fine tooth comb.  It was lovely to drive and did i mention….its purple!!!!! We got it for $3000.  I tried to beat him down but he had already reduced it by a thousand, (so he said) but i did manage to get a full tank of petrol thrown in so i was happy with that.  We will be picking it up by Monday, Brea is very excited, did i tell you…..its purple!!!  Can you tell Brea likes purple…i havent looked at her facebook page yet but im sure there will be something purple in there!!! Isnt it all about the ‘cute’ to a 18yo girl. But i just hope it serves her well and with the rest of the money it will cover insurance and roadside assistance.
We had a good day, i also got the material for our dining chairs, its the same colour as our couch, well, almost and i think its going to look great. Im having my night with Jode tonight and i cant wait.  My sister rang me and told me she had our tickets for the Oz open tennis next year and she has booked the hotel.  She wont let me pay for that but ive told her that every time i give her the eye when we are there i am paying!!! I know she wont let me, she spoils me rotten.  So its been an exciting day, im looking forward to a quiet one tomorrow.
I hope you are all having a good day. Im so pleased this car business is over, just pray to the car gods that i havent gone and bought a bomb!
Take care all, bye for  now, Kathryn xxFighting the good fight…One day at a time

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