[kathryn]

Wow Bettie,
What a story.  I was totally involved with it and was oohing and aahing in all the right places.  You may be compulsive, but you have learnt to overcome that with your food.  The same principle applies here, you got through today, you can get through tomorrow, its just another ‘today’.
Take care, great to see you posting,
Bye for now, Kathryn xxxSometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Well, its over!  She got her licence…WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!! Vera, thanks for the prayers, Dd, thanks for the vibes, and P, thanks for the well wishes and the bloody good laugh.
She has just driven off on her maiden voyage, i lectured her all the way home about being safe, watching for other cars and all that mother stuff we say.  When we got home we had the ceremonial turning around of the plates from L (learner) to P (probationary), it was hysterical.   I also cleaned all her windows!! I can remember the feeling of the first time i drove on my own, it was almost surreal.  Im that bloody proud of her, not to mention relieved that i wont be driving her to Uni…lol.
So, i am having a great day, now, its time for that bathroom…
Take care bye for now, Kathryn xxxSometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[kathryn]

Hi Vera,
If you are still here,she is going for it right now, i think we are 10 hours in front… i am just about to leave, ive gone beserk on the house so at least thats clean.  I have saved the bathroom, if she doesnt get it i can go hide in there!!!
Ill let you know as soon as i can…Kathryn xxxSometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Ok, i need your collective good vibes in about 4 hours, send them all to my daughter who will be going for that licence!  I am dropping her in and then coming home for a little while before i go to the licence place to see if she has passed.  I actually feel physically ill for her, imagine how she is feeling?  I think im more worried about if she doesnt pass, she will be a mess.  She is a very high achiever.
So this is my day, worrying about something i have no control over….lol, you think i would have learned by now!
Mind you, she had a great lesson yesterday, and then we nearly had a head on collision on the way home, i was screaming!  She didnt see the other car…sheesh. 
Anyway, i had better go, take care all,
bye for now, Kathryn xxSometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[kathryn]

LOL Dd,
Al likes to let me know how much older i am than him.  I am not planning on being a granny for a long time!
Bye for now, Kathryn xxSometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[kathryn]

Hi All,
I have posted and posted today, and it feels fantastic.  Im not looking at a thread and coming up with a blank, the words have been flowing out of me like nothing on earth, its like i have had my mouth taped up for months and someone has come and ripped it off…lol.
I dont know why, and i dont care, im just taking this day for what it is…a wonderful day.  I feel free and light and so happy.  It may be one out of the box, but it feels amazing to just be able to type.  I just hope i made some sense..lol.
Take care, Kathryn xxxSometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[kathryn]

Hiya Larry,
Im glad you had a good time, it sounded fantastic!  I just wanted to say to you, we do have a lot to be thankful for, life is good dont you think?  Each day without gambling makes me a little stronger, and coming here keeps my resolve sound.  Im glad you are on this journey with me Larry, it wouldnt be the same without you!!!
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxSometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Well i had a good day today.  I took Brea for her 2 hour driving lesson, dropped her off and thought, what can i do?   8 months ago i would have driven as fast as i could to a venue.  Today i went to Kmart.  I laybyed Harrys birthdays presents, all wrestling stuff (god they are expensive) and threw in a pair of leggings and a cardigan for myself to boot.  Then i went and had a lovely cappachino in a little coffee shop. 
It was really lovely, i wandered around for an hour, hardly spent any money and had a great time.  It was satisfying.  I cant remember ever saying that when i was gambling, it was always, well, there goes $50.  Insane.
Not long now till my week away, and i am really looking forward to it.  To do nothing but relax. To spend some time with my sis and my mum.  To sit around the fire and roast marshmallows (well, ill only have a couple!!!)
It was nice just to be with myself, even if it was only for a couple of hours.  Im feeling pretty content as i sit here now, i do have to go and start getting dinner ready.  Brea had taken over my kitchen to make a practise cake for my father in laws birthday………its in November!!! LOL.  Talk about being organised!!!
Take care everyone, bye for now, Kathryn xxSometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Well ive woken up this morning with a new attitude.  Last night i sat here feeling sad and sorry for myself.  Oh the woes of Kathryn!  Well this morning im snapping the hell out of it.  My life is too short for me to be sitting here watching life pass me by.  Yes, im still feeling a little flat, but will i let that stop me…no.  Im going to smile.  I am a very fortunate person.  My family loves me to death, i have the support of people all over the world, i have not gambled for 8 whole months.  I need to stop focusing on the negative, and Alices post made me do that today.  It made me smile.  I have realised that life is not perfect and i need to stop trying to be the perfect everything. 
Im taking it as it comes.  Im not going to wallow anymore for really, i have nothing to wallow about.  This negative Nellie is turning it around.  I dont have gambling to blame for my woes, im bringing them on myself and its time to see things for what they really are.
I do though, have one little thing….Damian and i are going to the movies tonight, to see Shutter Island.  I am terrified.  Im sure i wont see a thing as ill have my eyes closed the whole time…lol.  It looks very scary and i havent seen a scary movie since i was a teenager (i loved freddie kruger back then!) So i will hold my breath, and try not to scream in the scary parts, which i tend to do, im a very vocal movie watcher.  I just feel sorry for the other movie goers…
You all have a wonderful day…I am now going to have a shower and go spend some time with the kids.
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxxSometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Well today i let my guard down, and i didnt realise i had done it until i got on the helpline.  Hmmm, am i testing myself, maybe in my subconsious i am, maybe that little voice just said, its ok, you can go. No, i didnt gamble, but i went out for lunch at one of my very favourite venues.  Favourite because it is open really late and i used to gamble close to home and then go in there because i knew id have a few more hours.
So, what does it all mean?  It means that i have to be extra vigilant, that i have to pull my finger out of my a$$ and stay the hell away from there, no matter how good the lunch menu is!!
I cant say that i thought about it at all during our lunch, maybe i got cocky.  But in hindsight, it could be the beginning of the end.  And it is the end, of ever going to a venue for any reason whatsoever.  Im not going back, thats all there is to it, my life is too good now to let anything, no matter how insignificant i think it is, get in the way of my recovery.
Ive just had a long, lovely shower and im sitting here on this very warm night, smelling the air and listening to the crickets singing.  I have one more week of work and then we are going on a little holiday, just for a week, but where we go is so beautiful, so full of oxygen that i always feel totally rejuvinated when i get home.  My mum and sister are coming too, which only makes it better.  My sister and i sit up and watch old movies in bed, eating icecream…hmmm, i dont know that my diet will allow for that.  Speaking of, as of today i have lost 4kg.  I am thrilled and although i have cheated just a tiny bit, the fact that the weight is still coming off is great.  Once i get to my goal, about another 5kg i think, i will need to start the toning part…oh what fun.
anyway, ive rambled a bit tonight, you all have a great weekend.
Take care, bye for now, kathryn xxxSometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[kathryn]

Hiya Larry,
Im sure you had an even better time for not gambling, well done, you are amazing!!
Take care, bye for now, kathryn xxSometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Laura, thanks for your post, yes im still on the eating plan, but i did cheat on the weekend as my free day was wasted, i didnt eat anything so i had a free day on Monday.  I am seeing results in my middle area though, it is definitely coming down in size!
Ive been working the last 2 nights and Tues. was very hectic. Last night was much better. Today i have to take Brea into town for a driving lesson, and this afternoon i have a doctors appointment, you know, all that lovely girly stuff.  Its time for a good check up.
I have 4 days off now, so i will be doing as little as possible.  This time next week Brea is going for her driving test.  Just thinking about it gives me butterflies.  She knows it, its just remembering it all on the day.  I need everyones vibes that day!
Thats about it from me, take care everyone, bye for now,Kathryn xx Sometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Well im finally out of my coma and able to write. The party went off without a hitch, it was a great night and the only injuries were sustained by me….huge bruise on my left knee and i think i have broken my little pinkie toe, i ran outside in the dark and hit a pile of wood.  I didnt fall though, but i was close. Im sure the fellas standing round the fire laughed their a$$es off, i know i would have, but i was in too much pain.  I have been hobbling around all day, well, when i have managed to drag myself out of bed.  I think i need Velvets Zimmer frame!!!
I did have enough food, and toilet paper thankfully!  Dames had a good time, it was the same old thing, men standing around the fire, women in the shed eating and dancing!  It wasnt as big as i had anticipated, which was good, there were about 50 there, a nice little gathering.
I cant write much else as i have been playing the dying swan all day.  Now its time for a good feed i think, i am on my free day and havent eaten anything, what a waste…oh well, he’s only 40 once!
Hope you all had a great weekend, take care, bye for now,
Kathryn xxxSometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Right, its 1pm, the party starts at 4ish.  I have to clean up this house, i have to have a shower and get ready, i have to get the food organised…i am having a crisis!!!  Im not good under pressure, team that with a grumpy husband who doesnt want a party, plus me running around like a chook with its head cut off, im not having any fun at all!!!
I had to stop for a minute and take a breath, Jode is coming at 3 to help me (god bless her)  The problem is, that it started off as a little family get together, and now that the word has spread it is a full blown bash. Have i got enough food, or toilet paper for that matter?  I suppose theres always tissues, i do have a spare box..lol.
Okay, that said i will now log off and get organised.  Thanks for the ear, i know ill be ready and if im not, as long as i have enough vodka and ice ill be fine, the rest will just have to work itself out. There are definitely no gambling thoughts going around in my head, i have too much other stuff going on in there.  If that husband of mine had just let me throw him a party when i asked him months ago, i would not be feeling like this.  Yes, im passing the blame, its all his fault, and he has the gall to be mopey!
Right, im really going now, notice how im stalling??? Have a great day everyone.
Bye for now, Kathryn xxxSometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[kathryn]

Hi all,
Well, today ive been cleaning like a crazy woman in preparation for the party on Sat. night.  Ive had Brea doing heaps too and although it will be low key, all the ‘outlaws’ will be here so i want a nice clean abode!
Today i have not gambled for 8 months, and although it is just another day that i dont gamble, im giving myself a minute to drink that in. I do feel like im making headway on this road.  Thanks to all of you for walking it with me, supporting me, cheering me up, making me laugh. Im proud to be a part of GT, and to have all of you, goodness, its starting to sound like an oscar speech…well, i am a drama queen!!!
Take care all and have a lovely day,
Bye for now, Kathryn xxSometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[Author]

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