[kathryn]

Hi All,
So i have decided to finish up my counselling by email.  Can i please, please stress to anyone who is considering it, it is truly a worthwhile experience.  I have learnt a lot and at the moment, except for the back, i am feeling extremely content. It is not at all frightening, challenging yes, but i do like being made to think, and counselling has certainly made me do that.  I have come to the conclusion that i will never have all the answers, some things just are,and i have accepted it. 
I have learnt that i do not need approval for every decision i have to make, and while i sometimes find it difficult to live without the crystal ball (its broken by the way) i have to believe that the decisions that i make are right for me and my family.  Life is never perfect, but i am happy, really happy with the way my life is headed.  This forum, Harry, and Ian(my counsellor) have all attributed to that.
As for my back, it is getting better. I went to the supermarket tonight, with my wheelie frame and Damian by my side, im sure he was soooooo embaressed but i didnt care…i needed food!!! It is my baby’s 6th birthday on Thursday, he is so excited, i need to do a few things tomorrow to get organised, thankfully Brea is coming to help me.
So even though i am still laid up, i have plenty on.  Im getting lots of rest, the boys being at school helps, as i can just snooze off and not have to worry about what they are up to.
I doubt i will be at work before next Monday, and although i would love to be there by Friday, i dont want to push it and take on too much before my back is 100%, its just not worth it.
Anyway, i hope you all have a great day, bye for now, Kathryn xxx
— 27/04/2010 11:57:55 AM: post edited by Kathryn.– 27/04/2010 18:00:32: post edited by harry.

[kathryn]

wow…
thank you all for you wonderful words of support.  I am feeling better, i am able to get on and off the chair by myself and i managed to get myself changed without doing any major damage.  I have been waited on hand and foot.  I am very fortunate to have 3 lovely boys here looking after me.  The pain killers are doing their work and i think that the anti-inflamatory injection i had on Saturday is helping me also.
The bonus is that i got onto my boss today and she was wonderful.  I was so scared she was going to tell me that they would have to find someone else but no, they want me to call on Wednesday and let them know how i am doing and when they think i can start….PHEW. I was so relieved, as was Dames, although he hadnt said anything previously, until he knew my job was safe and then he told me how worried he was.
So, although im still in the recliner, i am getting up for a little walk every hour or so.  So yes, RG, i did get my rest after all…not the way i wanted it though. 
Thank you all soooo much, i was gobsmacked when i logged on.  You are all so wonderful, and i really apprecieate your care and concern.
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi all,
Dont you just hate it when things bite you on the bum….i have done my back.  I was actually on chat and leaned over the side of my chair and BAM it was gone.  I spent yesterday afternoon in the hospital, i was worried that i had done a disc, thankfully after xrays it was just muscle.
I am not going to be able to work on Tuesday, and today is Anzac day, meaning today and tomorrow are public holidays and i cannot contact anyone.  Could the day get any worse…well, yes.
Velvet, i now have a zimmer frame!!!!  And also one of those special seats that go over the toilet…LOL.  I cannot get up, or sit down wthout my arms around Damians neck.  He has gone to the football today, so had to call in my stepdad.  He is the most untouchy person in the world so it was really quite a hoot.  Mum has been here, cleaning and doing jobs for me…bless her.
So i am here on my recliner…its a total pain but i cant do anything else.  I just hope that it starts to subside soon.
Ok, well thats the best i can do for now, i cant cope with this laptop on my lap for one more second.
Take care everyone, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Well, i can finally take a deep breath.  My week of madness has now come to an end.  And it was the most full on, happy, laughing, sad, fun week ever.
I have to say, the cleaning up wasnt so much fun, but hey, what can you do?  The funeral was just lovely, every time the man who sang opened his mouth every hair on my body stood on end.  And he sang…a lot. So i looked like i had stuck my finger in an electric socket by the end of the funeral…lol.  The wake was just how i expected it to be, people laughing, dancing, singing, crying, all at once.
Delia (the deceased) would have loved it, it was her kind of party and everyone made sure we lived up to her expectations.  A fantastic wake.  I got to see many people i havent seen for years, which is always nice but isnt it always the way…at a funeral. I have known that family since i was 5, and i had that many of them patting me on the head…lol.  I also had many peope asking me if i was my sister..they would come up and say ‘hi Jen’, and id have to say, no, im Kathryn.  I dont know if she looks really good or i look really crap because she is 13 years older than me!!  I think ill just stick to the first one, it must be the indian genes!!!
So i had grand plans this week, to cook a heap of stuff and freeze it, i did manage to clean out my wardrobe, i have 3 bags of clothes to go to the salvation army.  Im actually very excited about work next week, the nerves arent bad at all, im eager to get in there and see how it all works and what i will be doing.  I have been shopping and bought myself some lovely clothes to wear to work, it will be nice to be a bit dressed up.  Today i went and had a haircut, and yes Meg, i now have 2 eyebrows!!!
I actually, finally feel that i have got to a point where i feel independant, where i feel that my life is finally coming together.  I have confidence, i actually like myself and im not disgusted when i look in the mirror anymore.  I walk with my head held high, and its not just the fact that i have stopped gambling, but that i feel self worth.  Stopping gambling was the beginning of my life, i am living.  This forum has been a wealth of support and knowledge, a shoulder to cry on, friends to laugh with, a place i am so comfortable in, where i can just be me. I felt lost for a long long time, not only did my addiction rule my life, but i was so focused on everyone else, that i forgot who i was.  You have all helped me remember the person i am, the person who was buried, but always there, deep down.  I am so grateful.
I recieved a beautiful box of flowers from my old job yesterday,  i NEVER get flowers, so i was so pleasantly surprised, and it was nice to know i will be missed.  Today after the haircut i went out for lunch with another group of workmates, i worked at 2 facilities and they wanted to catch up.  It was really lovely, and then to top it off, they paid for me!!! So now, ive finally got some quiet.  It was lovely having my family here, but also lovely when they left.  My week was packed, i never stopped, but i loved every minute of it. I was still popping on for a quick read when i had a minute, i missed the forum, i missed my friends. My life is going to change again, but one thing will never change, i am a compulsive gambler, through and through, and im not ashamed of that.  I wouldnt be where i am, have the freinds i do and the life i have without it.
Take care everyone, bye for now, Kathryn xx (i will get around to you all on the weekend…eventually!!!!!)To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Meg, i will come over and post to you, P, thanks for your post, it was a hoot, and thank you for the kind words, i feel very blessed to be here and feel i have finally found a home away from home. Dd and Warrior, thanks for checking in, its lovely to come here and see a post, like i always say, its a little present just for me.
Ok, so my sister is coming tomorrow, i got the call today, and there isnt 8 of them, there is 9, although he is only a baby so he doesnt really count.  I have borrowed all this stuff from Jode for him, cot, stroller, bouncer and some big monstrosity he can sit in and play with, very cute.  He is 6 months, i think?  I dont care anyway, im going to eat him alive…mind you when they were down last time i had a photo with him and my neice put it on facebook, which was ok, except that i was wearing my old worn out nightie!!!  Embaressed…YES!!!
Anyway, the funeral is on Thursday, i will be going of course, i have known this woman since i was 5. I havent been to a funeral for a long time and i dread them, they are just so sad. It breaks my heart, but i will go and pay my respects to her, a beautiful woman who was the matriarch of her family.
Tomorrow i am busy, not only with the family coming down but im out all morning…..coffee with a friend, and then lunch with another friend…oh i have the life!!!  LOL
So thats about it, i will try to get on when i can, not sure how well that will go with all the family here, but i will give it my best shot!!!
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Well ive woken up fresh as a daisy today, thank goodness.  We are going to the football this afternoon, to watch our boys win…i hope. It is going to be a great game and im looking forward to it.
My sister called last night, before i went to the hens bash, her MIL is on deaths door, it was very sad talking to her and it looks like there will be a funeral next week so she rang to check if it was ok if they all crashed at my place.  Which of course it is, but there is 8 of them…poor Brea is being sent to Camerons so we can have her bed.  As sad as it is, it will be lovely to see her, and as i have the week off we will have lots of time together.  You need your family when you are sad.
I went to my neices house warming yesterday, before the hens night, it was really nice, her house is beautiful and thankfully very easy to find, i get very scared driving anywhere near Melbourne. I have really not had time to scratch myself this weekend, and i have quite a bit to do today before we leave for the footy.  I feel like my week off will not be like a week off at all…i have a lot happening.  If i can get in one day of doing not very much i will be happy.
I realised last night just how funny my daughter is, we laughed for hours, and, of course, sang duets with the helium..lol.  I have been wanting to do that my whole life, so theres one thing i can cross off the list!!! 
Well, thats me, i have to go and do some housework before i head off, so i had better start or i will be very cross with myself when i get home!
Have a great day, bye for now, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi Bettie,
Just wanted to drop by and say hi…you are doing great.  I think it shows your commitment too, telling your friend like that, although i do hope you enjoyed the lunch! lol
As for me, no hangover this morning, and i am grateful for that really, i am going to the football today.  30,000 people screaming…imagine my head!!!  At least now i will be screaming along with them!
Have a great day, bye for now, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Firstly, can i apoloise to all on the chat tonight…i was a bit giggly, after the worst hens night on earth!!!
I was the helium queen, the balloons were being untied fast and i was singing…MJ, George Michael, Elton John, you name it,my little helium filled lungs sung it…LOL. I am about to hit the hay, but i swear, these young girls have no idea how to have a good time.  Me, Jode and Brea had our own little party, and it was fantastic. Im still laughing now.
I am so tired, im sure i will regret writing this in the morning.  Its not even 11pm…ugh, i am getting old.
Ok, im going, hope you all have a good day, ill be back tomorrow!!!!!!!!!
Love you all, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Well, im finished!!!  Last night was my last shift.  The girls all put in and we had Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner, yum! I had 2 indian students doing the rounds with me last night, and when the staff was leaving for the night they got me..they poured a whole bottle of sorbolene cream down my underwear, gave me an atomic wedgie and poured a bottle of water over my head.  If the boss looks at the cctv today she will get a shock!!  I ended up having to wear a pair of blue and white chequered pants home from the lost property, as you can well imagine, it wasnt too comfortable. Oh, and i had to stop and get petrol.  The lady there was looking at my pants…lol.  I explained to her why i was wearing them, when i got home Dames was in bed and he got up and said, what the hell are you wearing??? LOL. The 2 students who were with me just stood there with their mouths open..LOL.  One said, is this what happens when everyone leaves?  I replied, no, not usually!!!!
I had an early wake up call today.  My neice, who is pregnant has had the baby!  She wasnt due for 8 weeks, im not sure of the details except to say that his name is Kellan, and he weighs only 1.2kg.  He is in Melbourne while my neice is still in Geelong, she had to have a ceasar, she knew something wasnt right yesterday and went to the doctor, he put her in for the emergency ceasar.  I do hope he is alright. Now that, is a little weeny baby!
Today im off shopping with Jode, im suposed to get clothes but i dont think we will have time, lol.  We have to get everything for the hens night on the weekend and have to go to one of ‘those’ shops.  Poor Jode is nearly having a fit!  Its pretty funny really. So im just about to head off and have a shower, im very unorganised this morning, no lunches made or anything.  I will have to pull my socks up and get moving.
Take care all,
Have a great day, bye for now, Kathryn xxx
 Sometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Well tonight is my last shift at work…yay.  I think we are having a dinner, i got my mum to make her famous pavlova…yum.  Work last night was good.  The girls gave me a really nice card….with a little present in it……a suppository!!!! I wasnt allowed to open it till i got home and i nearly fell of the chair laughing…funny women!!!
I really am going to miss it there, ive had a lot of fun,but im ready to move on.
I have booked in for a brows and a hair-do next week which will be nice.  The boys walked home from school last night, and they were home just 5 minutes before Dames so that is great.  When im working i wont have to worry about them. I am going shopping tomorrow with Jode for some clothes, and i have a busy weekend, my neice is having a house warming party on Sat, and then i have a hens night.  I am going to the football on Sunday (if im not too sick)
Ive had a few gambling ‘thoughts’ the last few days, not strong ones but they are there. Im thinking of seeing if i can self exclude again next week, while i have the time off, so i dont have to worry while i am working. Im not sure if i will be able to find the time to do it and i dont know if they do Saturdays so i think sooner is better than later.
Anyway, thats all for the mini.
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxxSometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[kathryn]

Hi All,
RG, Vera, EJ and Velvet, thank you for your posts…..
RG, you are dead right, who couldnt love you, whats not to love!!! I am very fortunate to know you my pochahontis!!!
Vera, you post cracked me up, yes, my biggest decision used to be what machine to jump on also, and i have started the house already, after all, i need a few days before i start with no housework (yes, im dreaming)
EJ, thank you for your support, you are doing really well and im so glad you posted.
And the lovely V, last but not least…dang, trust me to be leaving when you arrive, story of my life, im usually just that little bit early or little bit late….sigh.  Jodes wedding is in 2 weeks, she is now having a small coronary, feeling she hasnt lost enough weight.  I think she looks fantastic, but regardless we are going shopping on Friday for undergarments that flatter ( what would we do without them?)
Ok, so yesterday my 10 month anniversary came and went.  I felt pretty good all day, i felt strong and happy (the happy part has nothing to do with the kids going back to school today!) Oh, i had a lovely day today, cleaning, dancing around doing the vacuuming, it was bliss…no WWE!!!
I had to go and take my paperwork in to my new employer today, and it just reinforced my excitement to this job, i cant wait.  I met a couple more ladies i will be working with, they were so friendly and nice.  I need to do some serious shopping though, my wardrobe is a little sparse for work clothes.  i have had a uniform all this time , so im going to go a bit trendy i think!!!  Im really going to enjoy the time i have before i start my new job.
I hope you have all had a good weekend, take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxx
 Sometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Thanks Bettie, Looby, Nancy and Carl for your well wishes, it means a lot!!!
Yesterday i had to go and resign.  I was nervous, my boss is very…loud.  Anyway, i went to see her and her first words were…god, you’re not going to resign are you..LOL
So, i said, well, actually, i am.  She asked about the job, i was waiting for her to say something a little derogitory.  How wrong could i be?  She was amazing, said she totally understood how i am furthering my career, how it was their loss and they would be sad to see me go, then when i gave her the 2 weeks notice she said, well, i think you need at least a week to have a rest before you start the new job…i was gobsmacked.  So, i finish work next Wednesday, then im off for 11 days before i begin my new adventure.  How nice is that???  All the girls have been wonderful, im almost sorry to leave…almost.
I worked today, it was the perfect day, isnt that always the way when you are leaving…LOL.
So i feel pretty good today, i was having a bit of a panic last night, what am i going to do with the kids, in school holidays, but i know it will all work out and i will worry about it when it comes.  They are back on Monday…WOOHOO!!! I am so over listening to WWE songs all day.  It will be nice to have some quiet.
Hope to see you on chat this weekend, take care all, bye for now, Kathryn xxxSometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[kathryn]

Hiya Bettie,
Beautiful baby name, i love it!!! As for your fwb, i was giggling when i read that, being busy and all!!! lol
Keep fighting the urges, the sooner you ban the better, it will make life so much easier as there is not the temptation there that there was before.
Thanks for your post too…ive been woohooing all day!!!
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxxSometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Larry, it was great talking to you last night, and thank you for the well wishes…
Meg and RG, lol, thanks for you posts, i will tell all….
This job is completely different from what im currently doing.  This postition involves working with doctors, assisting them with procedures, biopsies, ECG, giving immunisations, wound dressings, a complete turnaround from what i am currently doing, which is very exciting as my experience in nursing is going to go through the roof.  It is a walk in medical centre, so every day will be different, i am also doing some reception duties as well.
Money wise, RG, it is less per hour, but i get paid more per hour at the moment as i do evening shift and weekends.  The weekends in my new job will be 1 in  about 6.  Plus i am doing twice the hours at the new job, which is going to be a shock to the system, so yes, in essence i am getting paid a considerable amount more.  Im looking long term, with what i learn here, my employment opportunities are going to skyrocket in the future! The ladies who interviewed me were amazing, so laid back and really stressed the importance of having a laugh and enjoying the job (can you believe it?)  I think im really going to enjoy it.
I am giving 2 weeks notice today, so the following Monday i will start at the new place. I will be reading up on as much as i can before i start, so that i at least have some idea what i will be doing!  There is full training there, and i will be buddied up with someone for the first month, until i get the hang of it.
I am totally exhausted today, the interview started at 7.30 and i was there till 9.  They went through all the questions and then at the end said, well, you have the job!  I actually got up and hugged them…lol.  They had recieved a lot of resumes, but decided that they were going to pick the 2 they liked the most (there were 2 positions) and they interviewed the both of us and we both got the job.  They went on gut instinct they said, and didnt want to muck around.  So now i have a million things running through my head, things i have to get done before i start, i will need to get this house ship shape and get everyone into a routine as i will not be here during the day anymore.  Its a bit daunting really, a huge change but one that i really needed.
So there you go….i can quite believe that happened, but im bloody glad it did!!!
I am working all weekend so i wont be at chat as much as id like to, but this will be my last one for a while…WooHoo!!
You all have a great day,
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxxSometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[kathryn]

Hey All,
Im heading to bed, but before i go…I GOT THE JOB, they offered it to me on the spot!!!  I will elaborate tomorrow, i can hardly keep my eyes open.
See ya, K xxxxxSometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you wanted to be, the person you are.

[Author]

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