[kathryn]

Hi All,
It was lovely to wake up to all those lovely posts…thank you so much, and Larry, i love that story, i need to take a bit of that advice myself methinks!!!
So, Dames is relishing in the role…he has been spending money all over the place..lol.  Im not sure just how long it will be before he checks the account and says to me..where has all the money gone??? To which i will reply.."how would i know, you have the keycard!"
We are off to the football today, im really looking forward to it although it is absolutely freezing here this morning.  The ground we are off to has a roof so im sure it will be closed.  Ive actually had a nice weekend, pottering around the house, so this will top it off nicely.
Meg, i do understand how Dames thinks the way he does..15 years of deciet isnt going to go away overnight, and i dont expect it to, hence giving him the keycard.  Our only fights are over money mainly, and i find it exhausting, so im ensuring some peace in this house if i possibly can!!! Time will tell how things go, but if thats all it takes, im more than willing to do it.
My boys have been fabulous in the holidays…only a week to go until they are back.  Bailey even vacummed the lounge room for me yesterday, bless him.  Anyway, just a little update, thank god for Breas laptop, i would be going mad if i didnt have one.  Hope you are all well and happy.
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Well, tonight the truth finally came out.  There was an unpaid bill, only small, one that i overlooked.  A letter came about it.  Damian rang me at work and left me an extremely mean message, and i barely listened to it.  I got home that night and paid the bill.  So today, im at work, and was checking my messages, and i listened to that message.  At the end of it he said ‘and i know where the money is going’.   I called him and asked him point blank, do you think im gambling?  His answer…yes.  I was devastated.  I came home from work and made him sit down and talk to me.  I gave him all my cards, said that while i was happy to pay the bills, i will no longer be responsible for the money in the account.  The fight began, i told him how gutted i was that he thought i was still gambling, he said that we should have more money than we do (imagine that in a very harsh tone) he said that we should be sitting pretty, i said that i could get all the bank statements to show him, that i was more than happy to as long as he would actually look at them.  I said i couldnt live this way anymore, with this constant feeling that he thinks im gambling when im not, he said that we will never have anything as long as he was with me….hmmm, just imagine my reply!!!
Anyway, he stormed out stating that he would do a much better job than me, meanwhile i sat on the bed and bawled.  I then came out and said, you know, i think you will do a better job than me cause im tired of thinking about it, worrying about it and for once, we agreed!!!  So now, we are going to find out about financial help, as in budgeting. I am also going to pay every single bill we have this weekend, so next week we start from scratch.  Im so relieved that i dont need to think about it anymore, ive been dealing with the finances for far too long, its time for him to have a turn and see exactly how this house runs.  I didnt really need the stress today, but i guess the outcome is good, and for once we did communicate, be it a yelling communication.  Anyway, there is my little rant, im tired and need to go to bed i think.
Take care all, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hey Bettie,
Wow, what a fantastic night, sure beats sitting in those stinking venues…you didnt say if Robert waved back!!!  Oh, and the cheesecake made my mouth water!
Sounds like an amazing time, something to always remember, good on you Bettie, its about time you got out there and had some fun girl!!!
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Ive managed to borrow Breas laptop, after a sucky sloppy text message, promising i will look at nothing except this site, with lots of kisses at the end.  Woohoo!!!  Tom, i dont think the wrinkle freeze has made me ill, in fact, i had to go to the doctor as i broke out in a huge rash all over my torso on Sunday and believing i had meningitis (yes, im a drama queen) went flying into work. It was a virus!!! Not wrinkle freeze related at all!!!
I do think its working as the girls commented this morning, although they might just be being nice…i dont care, any compliments i will take, they are few and far between these days!!!
Work has been busy, ive hardly had time to scratch myself, which does make the day go fast.  We have all been getting on famously, although we tend to have a 3.00 chocolate fix, not the best for the waistline, but we have now resorted to buying something little to share, less guilt that way!!
Home is good, the kids are on holidays and Brea took them to a place called Soverign Hill, its a township built like the 1800’s, complete with everything there was in the goldrush days.  There were many photos of the kids sitting in the school, a tent, a church, and there were people there, talking about their life, dressed in the clothes they wore back then.  They had a ball.
So all in all, life is pretty good, i have a football match to look forward to this weekend, i need to get my laptop into the shop, or god knows where to get it fixed, although last night, with no pc, i got that much housework done!!  I didnt realise just how much time i spent here reading, posting and chatting…LOL.  Its all in the name of recovery i say!!!!!!!
Ok, enough dribble, hope you are all well and happy,
Take care my friends, bye for now, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi Folks,
Well, i have all of 5 minutes to let you know that my computer has crashed, died, i have no idea what.  I dont even know where to take it..yes, im a technophobe.  I have borrowed Breas Laptop and just wanted to let you know that if im not here much you know why.  Im almost crying as i write this as i am going to be having major withdrawls from this forum, but believe me, i wont be far away…you will all be in my thoughts, just pray this doesnt take too long to fix!!!
Ill check in when i can, take care all and stay strong.
Bye for now, Kathryn xxx

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Well, i didnt realise it had been so long since i posted.  The week seems to fly by and then its the weekend, and for me, this weekend hasnt started off the way i would have liked.  I woke up at midnight feeling quite sick, and i was up riding the porcelain bus for hours.  I have spent today on the couch, sleeping, all day and this is the first chance i have got to post, or even to have the energy to open the laptop.
So i do feel a bit better now, and hopefully will be fine tomorrow.  I, like P, have the kids on holidays, so i truly hope that they dont catch the bug…fingers crossed!!  At least i can sleep in on the mornings for the next 2 weeks.  That will be nice. 
Anyway, not much more to say, i hope you are all well and happy.
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hello All,
Its the middle of the night, and yes, im up…not like me but i am!  I went shopping today and i bought a nice jacket for work.  Went to do the groceries and afterwards ran into a couple of friends i hadnt seen for over 4 years.  So we had coffee.   Lovely it was too.  I was cold, so i went and got my new bewt jacket.  Afterwards i had to go to another shop, so went and did that and came home.  I was showing Dames my new jacket when i looked down and realised it still had the ink tag on it (you know, so thieves cant use it). Thats ok i say, ill go back to the shop with the docket and get them to remove it….i couldnt find the docket!  So i rang them and explained the situation.  All was lovely until i said i had paid cash in the do it yourself register and couldnt find the docket.  Oh how the tone changed.  Anyway, i had to take Brea into town, so i did that and went to the carpark to see if i could find the docket…lo and behold, there it was, on the ground…woohoo.  So i went and had the ink tag removed, waving the docket the whole time for the world to see.  Honestly, why dont i put them in a safe place?
I have also bought some amazing wonder face cream…its called wrinkle freeze..LOL.  It must work because ive seen it on the TV, and everything on the TV is true.  I came home and followed directions, dabbing instead of rubbing, keeping my face perfectly still for 3 minutes afterwards.  There was a little burning there, but just a little.  Anyway, i go and look in the mirror, and guess what…..NOTHING!!!  No change, nil, nada, nothing.  Im yelling at Brea (obviously this was before the ink tag incident) saying "its done nothing".  Remembering it has been on my face for all of 3 minutes.  So i have decided to give it a week and let its miracle ingredients do its work.  You have to use it twice a day, and i did put it on again before i went to bed.  Now being the impatient CG i am, ive just applied it again, because surely if i do it now, and extra application, it will work faster.  Im sure i have " idiot" stamped on my forehead….it may just appear after a week of using wrinkle freeze!!!
I know all you ladies out there (and maybe some men) will want an update on it…dont worry, i will keep you posted!!!
Wishing you all a wonderful weekend, bye for now, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi all,
Ive had a busy week….i went and re-excluded on Tuesday, 2 years…woohoo.  It took all of 15 mins,which was great.  It was the same man that did it last year, and although he didnt remember me, i remembered him.  It wasnt the same feelings as last year, maybe because ive already ‘been there’ and didnt feel the freedom and relief this time, it was more of a ‘well, ok, its done’, time to go to work..lol.
It is Breas birthday today, she is 19 and we were all up early for it. The boys made her the most gorgeous cards, drew pictures in it, they did a great job.  We gave her money of course, and she went on a lovely shopping spree today, although i havent seen her, but ive been in her room looking at all her stuff, bless her, i think she had a great time.  She bought the most outrageous shoes…white with sparkles on it, just fantastic, and she bought accesories to match…lol, no doubt about it, the girl can shop.
So thats about me for the minute, work is good, busy, and im tired, but its a good tired.  Im looking forward to the weekend.  I hope you are all well and happy, 
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxx To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hey girl,
thinking of you….just take it as a lesson and move forward, sitting and dwelling doesnt change what is, so let it go my friend.  I do hope your back is feeling better, and that you havent beaten yourself to a bloody pulp!!!
Get to that chiropractor, so what if you have put on 10pd, you are paying him to fix your back, not talk about your weight, so just say that the service doesnt include ‘special comments’ and you would apprecieate him just doing what you are PAYING him to do.  That should shut him up…lol.
Anyway, i must go to bed, work tomorrow.
Talk soon, bye for now, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Thank you so much for your kind posts, cully, i actually laughed out loud cause i could picture you all the way in Texas doing that.  I have finally sat down for the day, i went and did some shopping for Brea, not as much as i would have liked as we are a bit stretched for cash at the moment (roll on my pay day!!) but i think she is fairly spoilt…lol.
I have made a big pot of soup, its simmering on the stove, ive cleaned and vacuumed (hoovered for all you english!) and have finally sat down.  Im looking forward to some serious chatting tonight!!!
Larry, im impressed you read you way through my thread, good lord, i do go on a bit.  I have to say,  i did gasp at the ‘old timer’ bit, but hey, ill take it if it means i remain gamble free.  I think, as you already know, that posting to others only reinforces our own recovery, its something i truly enjoy to do, unfortunately with my new job i dont get the opportunity to do so as i once could.
Anyway, hope you are all well and happy,
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Good morning,
I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you, for helping me reach a milestone.  I am not gambling today, and i have said that for a whole year today. I am, i think, giving myself a great big WOOHOO.  Because a year ago, i didnt believe in myself, i was an absolute mess.  And now, my life is a whole lot better, thanks to you all.  I can never repay what i have recieved here, i am just the most grateful person that ever lived.
Special mention of course, to Harry, my voice of reason when i could not see past my own nose, thank you so much H, all the thanks in the world wouldnt be enough for you.
In saying that, today is just another day that i will not gamble.  Its another day of freedom for me, a bloody nice feeling i have to admit.
So, theres my oscar post, i hope you are all well and happy, you are always in my thoughts, but i think today, i will apprecieate this site a bit more than i have before, because without it, i dont think i would have written this post.
Hope to see many of you on chat this weekend,
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi All,
I know i know, ive been very slack. Day 6 of 7 have now passed, one to go!!! Ive been so tired this week, not only 7 days straight, but ive had to start early 2 of those days so it knocked me for a six.
Today i told my boss about my addiction.  Because i am re-excluding next Tuesday i was a bit concerned that i may be late for work, and instead of making up a lie, i felt comfortable enough to just come out and say it.  She was wonderful, said she was proud of me, hugged me and wanted to know all about my exclusion, how it works, what happens if i gamble, she is a wonderful boss and im lucky to have her.
So i have 1 more day of work and then i will spend the weekend on here, Dames is going away for the weekend so i can sit and post to my hearts content…be warned!!! Im planning to do nothing all weekend, although i do have to go for a bit of a shop…its Breas birthday next week, 19…surely i am too young to have a 19 year old daughter, it just isnt right.  RG, Vera and Laura, thank you for your posts, as always you are all in my thoughts, as are so many here. 
Anyway, i hope you are all well and happy, bye for now, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Well i finally made the arrangments regarding our tax debt.  I am sooooooo relieved.  I have already made a couple of payments and they are happy to accept the amount i have been paying.  They are also willing to stop any interest payments for a whole year so that is absolutely fantastic.  We will have a 3 month review and take it from there…phew!  There is finally a light at the end of the tunnell in regards to this one.  I can hopefully pay it off in 2 years and it will be over.
I am actually able to start planning our future, in terms of one day being able to have a home of our own…hopefully.  I feel that i have finally dealt with the last thing that has been hanging over our heads, and i feel so much better for it. 
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Dd, thank you so much for your post, RG when im finished here i will be paying you a visit!!!
Ok the party…it was fun. My costume was so funny, the wig, oh my that wig.  What surprised me was that Dames actually dressed up, its not his thing so i was pretty impressed that he actually wore the costume.  Quite a few people didnt dress up, party poopers, but there were lots of fluro clothes, denim, legwarmers, huge hair, there was even a rubiks cube, she looked amazing. It wasnt a late night for us as i had to work at the market the next day, but it was fun, my sister and i danced nearly the whole time, leia can shake a booty i tell you!!
Work this week has been very busy as we are a few doctors short, which really makes a difference.  We have had quite a few agitated patients, but thats life in a walk in clinic, you just get in the line.  I now have tomorrow and Friday off, as im working the weekend, my first one.  Tomorrow is my lazy day, Friday is for shopping, Jode and i are going into town…just because we can.  I really dont need anything, but the lunch will be lovely..lol.
Well, thats me for now.  Hope you are all well and happy,
Kathryn xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi Bettie,
That is the exact reason i love self exclusion.  Its not the thought of winning the money and being unable to claim it, its the thought of being caught, the embarassment and shame, no way im going down that road.
Maybe now he will get the help he needs, but as we all know, he has to take the steps.  As for you, although you missed your meeting, there is always another one, and as long as you are working your recovery you will be ok!  You are doing really well girl! 
Might see you on the weekend, take care gorgeous
Bye for now, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

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