[kathryn]

Hi Bettie,
Glad to read of your wonderful Christmas, it was lovely talking to you today.  I stayed in my PJ’s for the whole day and didnt have a shower until 7pm tonight!!!!  I know….lazy, lazy, lazy.  But by gosh it was nice!
Hope to talk to you soon my friend, remember how special you are to all of us all over the world!!
Love, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Well, its all over!!!
All that build up for one day…although we did have a great time.  The kids were up at 6.30, and by 6.35 all the presents were open..lol.
It was a great day spent with the family.  I wont go into the food….i can barely type i am so full!!!
Needless to say, it was a lovely Christmas this year, and i am so grateful for thatl
Take care my friends,
Kathryn xxxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi Larry,
Sending Christmas wished from Oz….our day is done here and yours is proboably just beginning.
I truly hope, that you have a wonderful day, that you enjoy yourself, that you take time to think about Christmas’ past and realise just how far you have come in your recovery.
Eat, drink and be merry,
Merry Christmas
Kathryn xxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

hi all,
Well, i have officially finished my Christmas shopping.  Relief.
I have realised i need to let go of some things….but boy its hard.  I know i can do it, heck, i stopped gambling, i can do anything, but i think im causing myself hurt.  I need to believe in myself, that i am coping and managing this addiction and stop being so…….needy? habitual? im not sure what it is but i end up getting upset through no ones fault but my own.
I am a strong person…i just need to keep telling myself that.
Anyway, just a little vent from me.
Love to all,
Kathryn xxxxx
 To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

HI Bettie,
I cant believe i didnt see you all weekend!!!
You dont have to tell your boss anything…i remember i told my boss, and then about 3 days later we had a meeting…money had been missing from our petty cash.  I was absolutely sick, i thought "they suspect me". 
Anyway, needless to say, i know i didnt take it, and in truth, i think they miscalculated the money they had because the amount that was supposedly taken was quite large.  None of us were sure that there was that much there in the first place.  So now we check and double check whenever we need milk or coffee!!!
As for the scratchie…pass it on, although i wouldnt give it to your daughter if she is having problems there.
Well, i need to shower and get ready for work…the one thing i like about the holidays is the lazy mornings (thats about all i like…lol)
Hope to see you soon my friend,
Love Kathryn xxx
 To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Thank you thank you thank you for my lovely posts…it sure is a nice feeling….
For me, i have been quiet, i feel my posting mojo has gone on holidays for a bit and each time i begin to write a post the words just dont come.  But i know they will be back, i think my head is just full of stuff at the moment…Christmas, my mums 80th birthday, work, everyday stuff…NORMAL stuff. 
I dont have a lot to post really, sure there is plenty going on, but nothing really worth writing about.  My life is going on, and im just going about living it.  I did have some urges last night…i havent wanted to gamble like that for a long time.  I think because i was feeling unwell, that Dames had a mate in the shed…means and opportunity.  Of course, i came to chat and thankfully for me the lovely P was there…thanks my friend.
Im not willing to jeopardise my recovery.  There is just no way. 
Im just about ready for Christmas, finished up my shopping today…yay!!!
One less thing to worry about.
I hope you are all well and happy,
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hope you had a great day Bettie,
I took the boys to the movies and santa was there…i think i was more excited to see him than they were!!!!
Chat has been so quiet this weekend, i hardly talked to anyone!!!  Missed you girl, but hey, as you say, life is for the living!
Take care my lovely friend, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Im sitting here with a big smile on my face.  I have been a moaning minnie lately, i just read my last few posts.  I have been stressed and worried.  I have been looking at things in the negative.
Well, i was sitting here reading posts when i realised something……
As of yesterday, i have not gambled for a year and a half.  (i think that sounds much better than 18 months!!!)
I missed it, and i think thats pretty funny.
I knew it was coming up, i have been having small thoughts about gambling, little urges that are gone in a blink, and i attributed them to my milestone, and Christmas stress i suppose.  Well, the milestone is gone, so i cant blame that anymore!!!!
Today, i am not moaning…i am looking at how good my life is and if im worried, well i just have to get through it…compared to a year and a half ago, my life is bloody fantastic, and i think i need to remind myself of that from time to time!!!!!
Take care my lovely friends,
Kathryn cccccccccccccccc
 
 To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi Bettie,
So sorry to hear about your aunt,
i hope the trip is ok for you and that you dont get too stressed out.
You dont need the extra at the moment.
Stay safe, love Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi All,
So…im a little stressed out.  I truly feel panic, i feel like i did when i was gambling, the pit in my stomach, the worry.
Now, in truth, money wise we are ok, what is stressing me is Dames.  I have explained that we will need to touch the savings, there are no 2 ways about it.  He has gone away with what i deem a hell of a lot of money, and he is going away on Boxing Day (ahhh, the life for some!)
I am frightened that he will get angry, that he will think i am gambling.  I dont have a crystal ball and it may never happen but thats me…worry wart.
So im trying to calm down.  Its 5.30 and i doubt i will go back to bed now.  More coffee required!!!
As for Bailey, i am going to wait for the diagnosis, if there is any and take it from there.  We won a competition for the kids to go to a movie preview with Santa….Bailey has been saying its a Christmas miracle!! LOL..Cracks me up every single time, bless him.
Anyway, Take care my lovely friends,
Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Sorry i havent posted, i havent had time to scratch myself, plus ive needed time to digest things with the counsellor.  Its ok to listen to him, but when i have to put it in words, i guess it means that im accepting what he is saying, which isnt a whole lot right now.  Possible ADD….possible.  I have made an appt with a paediatrition, i couldnt get in until Feb, so its a bit of a wait. 
Medication has been mentioned, something i am not so sure i am comfortable with, but at the same time, i am prepared to do anything and everything in my power to make him feel better.  At the end of the day it is what is best for my son and if that helps him, so be it.
I have been fairly frantic about what to do with the boys over the school holidays.  Me, being me leaves everything until the death knock, i call it optimism….i truly believe everything will work out in the end..lol.  Will i ever learn?
I spoke to my boss today and asked her if it would be possible to work a couple of half days a week.  My gorgeous daughter is willing to watch them 3 days a week, and if i can work 2 half days it means that i only need to worry about a couple of hours in the afternoon which works out perfectly.  Im also taking a couple of days off.  Im very fortunate to have an understanding boss.  Although she did growl because i left it so long…lol….optimism!!!!!!
I have had a couple of little urges.  Im not sure why, it doesnt matter, but that thought of $20 and an hours peace…yes, deluded i know.  I just refocus on something else and it passes.  Actually, now that i think of it, its proboably finances, with Christmas coming up, plus my siblings and i have decided to paint mums house for her 80th birthday.  Its costing us $750 each, so im sure im a little concerned.  I know i can afford it, but Dames has time off over Christmas, and im hanging on tooth and nail at the small amount of savings in our account.  I suppose if we have to spend it, we have to.  We can always make more money!!! 
So, thats me for now.  Im sure ive left out 10 things. I didnt spend near enough time as i wanted to on chat last weekend.  Seems life is just getting super busy.  I always know where to come for a dose of reality though, not to mention my lovely friends here who i think of each and every day.
Hope you are all well and happy,
Take care, Kathryn xxxxxxxxxxxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hey Bettie,
Just wanted to say hi, i see you have been up and down lately.  I have one word for that my freind….life.  My life is never going to be what i would imagine to be perfect, there is always something, men, kids, weight…ugh, but i guess every time we get over a little hurdle, another one jumps in front of us.
You are handling your hurdles beautifully girl, proud of you!!!!!
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Thank you all for your lovely posts….i have to say, ive been here reading like a mad woman, but unable to find the words to post lately…very strange for me, im usually not lost for words!!!
Ive been busy at work…today was a wierd one… a man came in, a man i recognised from my gambling days. He carries a statue, a rather large one that i remember seeing him with at a venue once.  He used the statue to press the buttons on the machines!  Yes, he is a bit odd but i really think he thinks it is going to bring him luck.
We put up our Christmas tree tonight.  It wasnt really the same without Brea there, bossing the boys about where to put the decorations so the tree looks even.  We did a good job, but im sure if she comes over she will find a spot without a decoration and gleefully point it out.  We have the most enormous roll of lights, and the tree is only 6 foot but it looks fantastic when they are on, and the hand made decorations bring a tear to my eye every single year!!!
I have a meeting with Baileys counsellor tomorrow morning.  Im interested in what he has to say and hopefully we can get some strategies to help him.  I am a tad nervous, fear of the unknown i suppose.
So thats about me for now, im trying very unsuccesfully to get organised for christmas, and although i still have 4 weeks, it may as well be 4 days!!!  A bit overwhelming, but i do this every year and manage to get organised, although the kids prezzies are a bit better than they used to be.
I hope you are all well and happy,
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Great positive post Bettie,
You are right, we can choose how we cope, and i think without the addiction in the way its a hell of a lot easier to make those choices with a clear head.
You are doing so wonderfully well, you are a wonderful member of this  community, and i feel very blessed to know you!
I do wish i could have some of your pumpkin pie though, even with tinned pumpkin ( i have NEVER heard of that, just like the dill pickle chips…lol)
Take care my friend,
Love Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi All,
I had a wonderful long weekend, the weather was divine (although i look like a lobster, so much for sitting in the shade all day!!), Dames’ family are a hoot, even when they are being growly, i couldnt help but laugh.
My father in law was truly surprised, its his 70th birthday today, and he was thrilled that all but 1 neice and 1 nephew were there to celebrate with him.
Saturday we spent the day by the river, under the beautiful trees, with big platters of delicious food, a drink (or two) and we played bocci.  It was a wonderful day, everyone enjoyed themselves, i havent laughed that hard in a long time.
So i feel nice and refreshed and ready to go back to work tomorrow, be it for only 2 days ( i have thur and fri off as im working the weekend).  Its been a lovely weekend, we spent way too much money, but i always think if i was gambling we wouldnt have that money to take to begin with so why not?  It was nice not to have to worry.
I hope you are all well and happy,
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

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