[kathryn]

Vera and Laura, thanks for your posts and Laura….NOOOOOOOOOO WAY would i ever ever leave this site.  I truly cannot live without it and thank god i have my computer back…YAY!!!!!
Life has been up and down, bit of a down at the moment, doing a lot of soul searchiing, home life is not what i want it to be. Dames has taken the children to his mothers for the night so i am going out with my bestie today, something i am really looking forward to and something that can take my mind off things.
So, this is short and sweet, i will be on chat tonight if anyone cares to join me, i have missed you all, i didnt realise just how big a part of my life, and my recovery that this site is. 
I will catch up on threads later, until then, bye for now,
Kathryn xxxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Im not really back, im just on my besties computer…..oh how i have missed this site, and all of you……
Im hoping to be back on line by the end of the week, and then you will all be sorry….LOL.
Anyway, im ok, and i hope you all are too…..cant wait to catch up on your threads, and thank you so so much for your posts, i nearly cried when i opened it up…
Love you all, Kathryn xxxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi all, I’m doing ok , things have settled a little. My computer has packed up and imnot sure how to fix it. Could someone please contact the helpline and let them know thAt im not sure if I will make group on Monday night. It would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance, k xxxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Things are not going well at the moment.
Im not exactly sure if i still have a marriage.
The thing is, im not so much sad as i am scared.
I will see what tomorrow brings, asses the situation, and take it from there.
I know, that whatever happens, i will be ok.
 To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

So so tired,
but have been checking in.  Thanks for your posts Linnie, P and Lizbeth.
Take care my friends,
Kathryn xxxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Roast chicken and sticky date pudding with icecream…no left of centres tonight, just a whole lot of YUM!!!!
Had a lovely day, got spoilt absolutely rotten for mothers and so i should!!!  Beautiful bracelet, slow cooker, but my favourite was the knee blanket the kids made for me (well, Brea made it but the boys helped pick colours, fabric etc), its like a patchwork quilt but only small, and they have decorated a patch each on it…bought tears to my eyes.
Well, im headed for chat, thank you all for your posts…
Kathryn xxxxxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Thank you my lovely girls for your posts…
I am working this weekend, today was a good day, pretty cruisy and i was able to do some much needed catch up jobs that have been overlooked in our busyness.
I came home, and the house looked like a bomb had gone off…dishes still in the sink from this morning, beds not made, crap everywhere, needless to say im not too pleased.  I had also sprayed the oven last night and was so tired did not have the strength to clean it so after my days work i have scrubbed, washed, made, tidied while hubby has watched the football without so much as a word…hmmmmm.  Dont get me started!!
Tomorrow is mothers day here and although i am working we are going to dinner at Breas.  She does tend to cook things a little left of centre and while i do try my best to eat it sometimes it is not that easy…LOL.
I am also going out for dinner tonight, master lazy and i are going out with my sister and her family, to a posh restaurant.  She has insisted that she pays so today i went and bought her a lovely card and dvd…she is a wonderful sister. 
I should go and start to get ready, i hope you are all well and happy,
TC…Kathryn xxx
 To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi All,
I remember i used to write funny things that had happened to me…..
I have one….lol.
My son Harry called me at work today, telling me that he needed new shoes…his were ‘stuffed’ as he put it.  This meant that i had to go to Kmart to get new ones.  He then says to me ‘i need the ones that are the same as my blanket’????? Which blanket i ask, the one on my bed he replies.
I am scratching my head…. i dont know what you mean i say.  Well, he says, the ben 10 blanket on my bed.  What he wanted, i finally worked out, was for me to buy him the shoes, that Ben 10 was wearing on his doona cover.  LOL.
So, off i go to kmart, and while i couldnt get him the ones that Ben 10 is wearing, i got a great pair, plus another pair of running shoes for good measure.  He loved them both and can run very fast in both pairs!!!
Got to love kids….
K xxxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi Larry,
A wonderful uplifting post.  Your granddaughter must be so pleased that you are attending her very special event.
The devastation this addiction causes touches so many, be it the major financial damage, or the small absences that are noticed by our loved ones.
The financial damage is far easier to deal with.  There is always money to be made, through hard work of course!!  The time lost to family members is something we can never replace and although it may be something we dont focus on at the start of recovery, i believe that as we grow and discover the person we always were, it is these precious moments that stand out as our major ‘losses’.
While i live with regret every day, i also use my now ‘logical’ brain to make time for those who suffered the most during my time in action.  I love that you have ensured that you will be there for your granddaughter.  This is a big event in her life, and im sure having her grandfather there makes it all the more special to her.  To be able to look back and remember that you were there is more precious than all the money in the world. What a wonderful gift you are giving her Larry….you!!!!!
As for your last post, what can i say?  My god bless all who were taken and who were touched by this terrible event. 
Take care, Kathryn xxxxxxxxxxxxx
To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan– 2/05/2011 12:55:02 PM: post edited by Kathryn.

[kathryn]

Hi All,
It was my youngest sons birthday yesterday, he was 7 and today was the big birthday party.
I hired a jumping castle, it was awesome, and massive, i didnt realise just how big it was and as soon as the bloke had left, i was on!!!  We had about 12 kids, including mine.  It was a great day, couldnt have asked for better weather, sunny, no wind, glorious. 
Most importantly, Harry had a wonderful day. Brea made an amazing cake, the kids had a ball.
It was lovely to be able to do this for him, he is still secretely smiling to himself about it all.  Not so long ago there would have been no chance…gambling prevented me from not only being unable to afford it, but to have the brain capacity to organise it.  It has given me a sense of pride and achievement today, and although im exhausted, im secretly smiling too.
Hope you are all well and happy,
Kathryn xxxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hello Bettie,
Hope your easter was a good one.  We could question things till the cows come home and still not have a clear answer, they are not always black and white.  I always say, go with your gut instinct, its usually the right one!!
Now, being the nurse i am i am concerned that you are not looking after your diabetes like you should.  I think diabetes is percieved to be an illness that isnt very serious.  Well, the things ive seen at work tell me otherwise.  Im sure you have heard it all before, just like i get the lecture every other day for my smoking.  Can i just stress though, please please take your sugar levels, it only takes a second, and thats all im going to say…lol.
Well, i should be going, more posting to do, then i need to get my house in order, although with my new little kitten i dont seem to be getting much done around here!!!!!
Love ya, Kathryn xxxxxxxxx
 To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Im tired at the moment,
Im tired of trying to work out what is going on with my husband.  We are on week 4 of horrific mood swings, tantrums, tiptoeing around the house, holding my breath when anyone comes over in case he is not happy.
Im wondering when i get my happy?  My peace?  It seems that right now peace is just a word to me.  I dont know what it means.  I fear that i will never know. 
Before anyone asks…yes, i have tried to talk to him.  I am being a drama queen, im trying to have a D&M…for gods sake.  I started laughing in the kitchen tonight after that one.  We barely speak, unless it is something he wants to say…a D&M?  What an absolute joke.  He asked me what i was laughing at.  I said ‘us’.  Because it is so pathetic it is laughable.  Ive never felt so unhappy as i do right now.  I dont know what to do.  He wont speak to me, unless its fishing or football.  Was it always this way and i never noticed because i was gambling?   No wonder i gambled, who wants to live like i do…..not me.
Kathryn xxx
 To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Lizbeth, Gunner, Laura and P, thank you for your posts, they are, as always, much apprecieated.
So, its easter time.  Happy easter to you all!
i am on day 2 of a 5 day break.  I have been busy cleaning the house, which im afraid doesnt look that way! 
Yesterday i went back to our holiday destination with one of my friends from work.  I had left my jeans there, dont ask me how, and i had taken one of their pillows so we made the trek to do the swap.
We had a great day, we shopped, ate, attended an art show, it was the nicest day ive had for quite some time.  We also laughed a lot which i felt i really needed.  She is a great friend and although we havent been friends for long we clicked right away.  We seem to have an underlying understanding of each other at work, and only need to glance at each other to know what the other is thinking.  Its great to have a friend at work, sure, the other girls are great but its lovely to have someone there that i can trust and talk to and know that what i say will go no further.
Today we got a new addition to our family.  Our little girl Hailey (named after Harry and Bailey) was chosen by us and bought home.  Oh but she is gorgeous.  Theres something about a baby animal that makes you go all silly.  I do hope she is good at catching mice because they are becoming a bit of a problem here!!! Although if she isnt we will love her anyway!!!  I got a cat that was totally different from our last one.  She has kept us all busy all day!!
So im playing easter bunny shortly, once i can get the kids to sleep!!!  It will be chocolate city tomorrow and chocolate hangovers tomorrow night!! lol
Hope you are all well and happy,
Love  Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Liz, Larry, Velvet, Vera and P,
Oh, i cant thank you all enough, my wonderful friends. 
The urge has passed, he came home saying he had ‘fun’.  I said to him, ‘if/when you go again, please dont tell me.  Lie.  Because i cannot deal with it.’  He replied with ‘sorry love’.
I spent last night on chat.  It helped a lot. 
Im going out tonight with a friend from work, to the comedy night.  Im looking forward to it.  A good laugh is just what i need at the moment.
I cannot stress enough how important that self exclusion is to me.  Having that in place is a godsend.  I can also see that i have had plenty of stress the last few months, with Bailey, the worry, and the last week away, which was not pleasant at all and stressed me to no end has not helped matters.  
This is my recovery.
This is my life.
I am strong, and i know i can get through anything.  
Thank you all soooo much, it really  means the world to me,
Kathryn xxxxxxxxxxxxx
 To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Oh boy am i struggling,
My hubby has been out to my club, ive tried everything, i changed the bed, i folded the washing, i have my ipod going and i have been dancing and singing around the house….and i still want to go.  i havent had an urge like this for a long long time, and i want to scream.
I will not go, i cant for 1, im excluded, and i will not jeopardize my recovery.
Im only going to say it once…I WANT TO GO!!!!!  And breathe out Kathryn.To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[Author]

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