[kathryn]

Hi everyone, thanks for your posts, as always you have all lifted my spirits.
I have had a shocking week, not only am i tired and a bit grumpy i had a massive dissapointment where work is concerned that absolutely gutted me.
I am fortunate that i dont hold a grudge, but what i have done is made a plan and as soon as i did that it felt like the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders.  I feel better, although i think im still tired and a bit grumpy!!!!
No gambling thoughts during my stressful time, thankfully.
I hope you are all enjoying the weekend, im working so not so much enjoyment. I have a few more weeks and then im off on a little holiday so that will be nice, im looking forward to it a lot.
Take care my lovelies,
Kathryn xxxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

B,
OMG….CULLY!!!  I had to do a double take on the date to make sure i was on the most current page…..if your reading cully, give us an update!!!!!!
Wow B,  i cant believe you are meeting the gang, how awesome, i wish i could come, drats for being born so far away!!!!!!
Its something to really look forward to, and by the way, how is the car????  I went and bought myself one too, although i dont think it was quite as fancy as yours, or as big!!!  im a small car girl but its brand new and gorgeous and i love it!!  I have named it Farbs (as its a Fabia, not a Fabioooooooo!!!!!)
HOpe to catch you soon,
Love ya girl,
K xxxxxxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

— 13/03/2012 11:32:29 AM: post edited by Kathryn.

[kathryn]

I havent posted for a while,
I havent had a lot to say really, and it seems that without gambling in my life i feel that posting here could be seen as a load of B.S.  Lets face it, its been a while, what could i possibly say that would mean anything to someone who has found this site in their hour of pure desperation?  I was told once that i was intimidating, in terms of being clean, for a new member. I was shocked and extremely upset and i think that has prevented me posting as much as i maybe would have. 
I guess at the end of the day i know what works for me, and i feel passionate about sharing that.  I would like others to feel, for just one day, the ‘normality’ i feel in my life now.  Call it boring, but its living and its something i didnt do for 15 years. 
I come to this site every single day, without fail, and read what is happening in others lives.  I am reminded daily of where i never want to be again, i am overjoyed by others triumphs when i read how they have overcome an urge that day and are so proud of themselves, as they well should be, and i always read something that sticks in my head, that reminds me of just how far i have come and if that is intimidating well, thats just too bloody bad!
I used to write ever thought that came into my head, i was so afraid that any little change in my day, any arguement, any stress would send me back to gambling.  I dont post now because i know i can deal with these things on my own.  It doesnt mean i still dont ask for help, i do, but not near as much.
Wherever you are in your journey, this site will guide you, support you and help you.  Sometimes our greatest fear is ourselves and our inability to be open to the possiblilities.
Take care,
Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

B,
Enjoy the ride my friend, you so deserve it.
This is sooooo off any kind of topic, but im watching a show right now and Sean Penn is on and he has the biggest head i have ever seen!!!  What is that???????
Anyway, hope i made you smile,
Love ya, K xxxxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hey B,
Im wondering,your GA friend, is it possible she feels that your gambling is a refletion on her?  Dont let it get you down, as you said, you cant control anyone else but yourself!
How exciting, new furniture and a new TV…WOOHOO!!!
I hope you enjoy every second of it….you deserve it!
Love K xxxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

You know what, Valentines day has never bothered me, until now.
For a very long time i scoffed at it, a load of rot, waste of money…..because i never expected, nor got anything for valentines day.
Listening to the boys on group tonight made me realise, that unlike my husband, men do think about valentines day.  I did not know this because me being me, still has the unrealistic belief that all men are the same, tarred with the same brush, and to my lovely men here at GT i apologise for that. 
I got home from work tonight and worked like a dog.  I did not sit down until 9pm, and when i asked my husband if he could turn tea on before i got home it was met with an ‘ok’ and a refusal to speak to me for the rest of the night.
Happy Valentines Day……
Thankfully, it has allowed me to let go of some guilt, i have been asked to go to Bali for a week or so with a friend, all i need is the airfare and i asked hubby yesterday morning like a frightened little child if i could go.  He did say yes, and i have just decided that it is my valentines day gift to myself.  I deserve a holiday, a chance to relax, to be pampered, to live like a queen just for a little while.  Its not until July, so if i start posting that i feel guilty will someone please slap me and tell me to look at my valentines day post!!!
Happy Valentines Day……
K x
 
 To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hiya,
Ive had a good week, worked 7 days so was absolutely exhausted by last night and was so glad to be able to have a small sleep in this morning.  I had to go and have a bit of physio on my back and neck which was painful but hit the spot then needed to do a bit of shopping, its hubbys bday tomorrow.  Ugh, what a drama that was, of course, everything he wants is very expensive, and of course he isnt getting anything that is as near as expensive so i had to go and find that something today…..
I walked and walked, at least i got some exercise, but because i didnt know what to get him i was baffled and was grasping at straws by the end of the day.  I got him a torch, a book about football, and a jigsaw puzzle.  We are having a family dinner tomorrow night, so ill cook a roast and make a cake tomorrow.
The highlight of my week was Wednesday night when i attended an indian cooking class.  One of our doctors agreed to teach us the basics of indian cooking, curry’s, bread etc and it turned out to be a really good night, the food was delicious, not too hot and i can now cook 4 kinds of bread from the same dough, including a sweet one, plus we have 2 recipies for currys.  I was dreading going, mainly due to laziness, and i am so glad i went.  We are ‘paying’ some money each class and our doctor is going to donate it to charity.
Work is work, soo busy, our new doctor started, he called me ‘darling’ on the first day, i immediately liked him…lol.
No real plans for the next week, i have a weekend coming up with the work girls, but i wont get into it now, its not for a few weeks.
I hope you are all well and happy, and ive noticed a lot of new faces here the last week, if you are reading this please know that you can live a gamble free life, im not saying its easy, but it is achieveable.  As you can see, i have a fairly ‘normal’ life now, something that i never thought i could do.  Stay close, you will learn a lot and if you are open to the possibilities, you can change your life.
Take care my lovelies,
Kathryn xxxxxxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Good Morning
I am pleased to say that my sons first day of high school went very well.  He was really excited, a friend of his who is a year above him came to our place first and walked to the bus stop with him.  I snuck down to the corner and stood where i could see them but they couldnt see me until the bus came and picked them up.
I am working this weekend, and have no other plans, except for tomorrow, its master high schools birthday and we are having a party dinner for him.  He is 13, a big teenager.  He was my best baby, almost perfect to the point where i would say that there must be something wrong with him!
Anyway, i should go and make my travel mug and head to work
Have a lovely weekend everyone,
Kathryn xxxxxxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

HIya B,
I for one definitely go through phases.  They usually dont last long, but suddenly for no reason i will be really sad, or feel i need to find the meaning of my life. 
You have had a lot of sadness lately B, with Jen.  It is going to affect you, like it or not.  Ride the wave, see what the doctor says, make sure you write down everything you are feeling to tell him, cause if you are anything like me, by the time you get there you either feel a bit better or cant remember everything.
Lastly, there is happiness out there, but remember nothing is ever what it seems and while others lives may look perfect through your eyes,  everyone has an ‘outer’ appearance.
Time for me to have a shower and get ready for work,
Love ya girl,
Kathryn xxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Evening,
RG…i didnt need to be reminded of my stalker spider….lol, i have however sprayed all around my windows and doors and so far so good.  We did lose power on Sunday for quite a few hours (of course it was 35c) and what is the first thing you do?  Check the fuse box.   I didnt spray there, need i say more….eeeeeeeeek!!!!!!!
My big boy doesnt start high school until Friday, Harry goes back Thursday so i will have 1 day with Bailey which i think will be nice, we have a lot to do that day, i need to keep busy because every time i think about it i want to sob!!!!!
Velvet, i had the most amazing draw at the tennis, Friday was Nadal, followed by Federer (i know, i nearly fainted when i read it i thought it must be a mistake) and Sat night i saw Serena Williams and Lleyton Hewitt, it was the game he won and it was one of the most amazing experiences i have ever had, the crowd, the screaming, the mexican wave!!!!  The little old lady next to me grabbing my arm, it was just hilarious and we had a ball. Of course there was a major "bold and the beautiful" drama with the people in front of us, and although we didnt really know what happened we kind of made up the story as we went along which was even more hysterical.  The weekend was just about perfect and im not sure we will ever get one that good again but we will talk about that one for a long time to come.  I wish you could have been there too, it would have made the weekend all that much better!!!
Lovely Laura, thanks for your post, as already discussed i think my spray is effective and if you ever do decide to pop down under i will personally ensure that the whole country is sprayed to save you any worry!!!  Im so pleased you got through, you are so strong, you are amazing and im soooo blessed to have you as my friend.
Not a lot else for me to talk about, i seem to have done enough i think!
I hope you are all well and happy,
Kathryn xxxxxx
 To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Good Morning,
Its early.  i dreamt that i was touching a spider,not a big one, but one none the less…eeekkkkk!  It was enough to wake me up!  I actually checked the bed it was so real (at least i hope it was a dream, i cant bear to think of it if it wasnt!)
Im not doing a lot this weekend, fairly quiet.  Physio this morning, then no plans.  Its the kind of weekend i love.
I have started my exercise regime, i wont bore you with all the details, i will say however i imagine any flies on the wall would be having a damn good laugh at my expense!
I hope you are all well and happy,
Love K xx
 To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Funny B,
I was reading lost’s post tonight and it made me think of Kin too….where is that man (if you are reading Kin, please drop a line!)  Well done on fighting the urge B, i know just how hard it can be.  Are you still off the cigarettes?  I am just aobut to hit my 5 week mark and boy it has been tough. The times i have nearly gone and bought a pack……
Anyway, glad to hear Jen is home and being taken care of.  She is so blessed to have such a wonderful mother.
Take care my lovely friend, you are in my thoughts tonight
K xxxxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Thanks Sunny and Carole for posting, Carole, i am amazed that you took the trip to Africa, my bestie and i adore that show and watch every one, although usually in Australia we are a bit behind so i have to ensure i dont find out who wins by accident before the show airs here!
So, my weekend….
It absolutely exceeded every one of my expectations, from the hotel which was beyond magnificent, to the shopping, which was filled with bargains, to the tennis which was amazing, the top players, an aussie battle, clapping, screaming, cheering, adrenalin pumping action.  I spent quality time with my sister and neices, we laughed till we cried, the whole weekend was more than i could have imagined and it goes down as one of the best in my life. 
So, back to reality, lol.  Work tomorrow, back to the grind, organising my son for his first day of high school and master 7 to return to grade 2.  Im not organised at all, but i will be. 
I hope you all had a great weekend, and are well and happy,
Love Kathryn xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hiya B,
I think we show our greatest strengths in times of great stress and worry. 
You havent gambled my friend, wanting to is one thing,  and you know that, im not giving you the pep talk, you know it all already.
With all that being said, my thoughts are with you, and Jen.
Love ya, K xxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

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